Without You Here (9 page)

None of that connected with him. He knew where Amberlee was. She was with him, like always. She was watching and he owed her his loyalty.

But telling himself all of that didn't make last weekend go away.

"What's her name?" Liza asked.

He hitched a shoulder. "It doesn't matter."

"Tell me about her."

He shook his head. "She's too young."

"If she weren't, would you call her?"

He sighed. "Probably not."

"Because of Amberlee."

He nodded.

Liza gave a sad smile. "You need to get—“

"Help. Mom, please don't start in on that again. I just wanted—“  

She waited. "What? What did you want?"

"I guess to see how you felt about her age."

Liza smiled kindly, then. "I have no problem with her age. If she makes you happy, then I love her already."

He grinned. "She's a lot of fun. I think maybe...maybe I'll give her a call. See if she'll give me some time to get things together."

"I think that's a wonderful idea. I hope I get to meet her some day."

He tried to imagine introducing Ettie to his family and found it surprisingly easy to do. He actually thought she'd get along wonderfully with his mom. And his sister-in-law, Diane. Maybe not Cecily. His sister was something of a prude. He wondered what Blake would think of her. He doubted they would ever be best friends since Blake was so straight-laced and Ettie was a bit on the wild side. But surely they'd get along.

"Maybe someday," he said.

CHAPTER SEVEN

I had my arms folded on the edge of the car window and my chin resting on them. I’d driven down last weekend, but had been too preoccupied to notice how beautiful it was. Over the course of the two hour drive, the land had gone from flat, to rolling. The highway dipped and curved with the land. The cool spring breeze invigorated me.

We had to pass through the little town of Hadley, where Wyatt and I had breakfasted. I tried not to think of last weekend. I was with a man who wanted to take me home. That should mean more to me than a fling with some stranger who didn't even want me. It didn't. But it should.

I tried to work up some enthusiasm. After all, this was my last spring break. My last year of school. After battling an overprotective mother who claimed to be homeschooling me, but really didn't give me the education I needed; getting held back a year when I finally got to go to high school; overcoming dyslexia and my many, many personality flaws...I was finally going to have a college degree. And with a 4.0 GPA. Not too many people can say that. Yes, I had to sleep with one sleaze-bag professor to get an “A” which I totally deserved on my own merit, but that's the only black spot on an otherwise pristine, four-year record.

I didn’t intend to ever tell about the professor. Not even to Blake or Lauren. It seemed to be my lot in life to have men manipulate me with sex. I supposed, based on my history, I shouldn't have been surprised that Wyatt so easily walked away from me last weekend. After all, what hadn't I given him? I tried not to think of myself as a slut, but it was getting harder all the time. If not for Blake, I might have given up my self-respect altogether.

I'd known Blake the better part of three years. Two years ago we started dating. That lasted about a week before I broke up with him. But we fell into such an easy, comfortable friendship that eventually we decided to try dating again. That time lasted two weeks. He seemed to change whenever we dated. As friends we had fun and got along really well. As lovers, it just never worked. But I couldn't give up on him. Mostly because he wouldn't let me.

"Ettie, get your head back in the car. You're not a dog, for Christ's sake."

I pulled myself in. "You're such a nag," I said, punching Blake in the shoulder.

He grinned sideways at me and continued driving. There were trees everywhere. The highway twisted and turned. It was only two lanes. Over creeks and rivers. Around hills. Gorgeous scenery.

We passed a little green sign. City Limit: Apple Creek. It was another five minutes through the trees before we exited onto an even smaller highway. Another ten minutes after that before it turned into the main road through town.

Apple Creek should have been a shabby looking place. But it was obvious that the various owners of the businesses took pride in their community. Old buildings that had fallen into disrepair in the past had either been brought into the twenty-first century or were in the process. A one mile stretch of road through the center of town was historic brick which made a fun sound on the tires. I closed my eyes and imagined the sound of horse's feet clacking along. The main road veered off to the left, but you could also go straight and drive right down to the boat dock on the river. It is a beautiful river, much smaller than the Mississippi. Clear and shining. I was pretty sure it was the same river Wyatt and I swam in last weekend.

Blake veered left and we drove past some residential areas and then back into the woods. When the trees started to thin, he took a left onto a gravel county road. Up a hill, around a bend and there was a lovely, two-story farmhouse with a wrap-around-porch.

"And this is your grandmother's place?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, swinging into the driveway and parking behind a muddy, beat-up pickup truck. I frowned at it. I thought it might be blue underneath the mud. Maybe black. Hard to tell. All of Blake's family was gathered here for the day. He'd told me earlier to prepare to meet a lot of people. Blake and his twin cousins, Jesse and Alex, were all home for Spring Break and apparently the "old folks," as Blake referred to them, were all excited to have the youngsters home again.

I smiled up at Blake as he came around and opened the door for me. He took my hand and we linked fingers. Then he led me around the house to the back. There were people scattered everywhere. An older man was sanding the porch rails. Two women were working in some flower beds. There was the smell of meat smoking somewhere.

Blake introduced me first to his twin cousins Jesse and Alex and their girlfriends.

We chatted a while, but as soon as there was a break in the conversation, I tiptoed up and whispered, "Bathroom?"

"Yeah, there's one on the main floor, just in the back door and go left. If that's occupied, there's one upstairs and to the right." He turned back to his cousins, obviously not planning on showing me the way himself.

I left, sparing one last glance at the twin cousins. Both were gorgeous. Tall and lean and dark. I went in and wound up using the upstairs restroom.

When I came down, my eyes were on my feet. I rounded the base of the stairs and ran into a broad, hard chest. I looked up and into Wyatt's eyes. Well I know for a fact my instant reaction was a split second of shock followed by pure joy. But when I saw the same reactions on his face, a fire lit inside of me, thrilling me with heat and need.

For a moment, just a second, I forgot where I was. He covered the distance between us and cupped my face. “Oh, God,” he murmured. And then his smile mirrored my own and he kissed me. And kissed me.

"I thought I'd never see you again!" I cried in between kisses.

"Me too." He kissed my mouth and face and neck. "I can't stop thinking about you. I've almost called you so many times."

"I wish you had. I'd have come running. Oh, Wyatt!"

"How did you find me?" he asked. He had his lips on my neck and one hand on my breast when we both suddenly froze. It was finally hitting us. I couldn't believe how stupid I'd been. All I would have had to do was ask his last name. Or his wife's name. Or his son's name. He'd talked about them. Why hadn't I asked their names?

He took two steps, slowly, backward. The smile was gone. Fear in its place. I know I looked the same. I would say it first. "What are you doing here, Wyatt?"

He swallowed.

"Hey dad!" Blake's voice came from the back of the house.

Suddenly nothing seemed real anymore. This couldn't be happening.

"Shit," Wyatt muttered. "I'm in here, Son," he said, loud enough for Blake to hear. His eyes never left mine. He shook his head sadly, an apology in his eyes.

"I didn't know," I whispered. "I swear to God, it didn't even cross my mind."

Blake's footsteps approached. "Hey Dad, you have to meet my...." He paused when he saw me. "Oh, good. There you are." He grabbed my wrist and brought me to his side. "Dad, this is my girlfriend, Ettie. Ettie, this is my pop. You can call him whatever you want. Dad, pop, Wyatt."

"Wyatt," I said. "I'll call him Wyatt."

Blake looked at me funny and then rolled his eyes. He turned back to Wyatt. "What do you think? Isn't she cute?"

Wyatt pried his gaze from mine. "Cute. Yeah. Nice to meet you, Ettie." He reached out his hand.

I managed to shake it, but I had started trembling and was starting to feel dizzy. I tried to slow my breathing, but I was all-out shaking, now.

"She'll be with me this week," Blake said. "But I'll be working up at the newspaper office a few days, so I figured you could show her around the farm, give her some chores. She'll be like the son you never had, right? She's a way harder worker than I ever was."

Wyatt managed to laugh after only a short hesitation. "Yeah. Right. Be glad to have the extra hands." He swallowed and his gaze darted back and forth between me and Blake.

I didn't have time to feel sorry for him. My legs were going weak and my ears were starting to ring. I grabbed Blake's arm. "I don't feel so well," I gasped. And then my legs went.

I don't think I passed all the way out, but I don't remember getting from there to the couch. I was staring up at a bunch of strangers and Blake. Someone put a cool cloth on my forehead. There was a debate as to whether to elevate my feet. I felt a straw touch my lips and sucked in some cool, well-water. A lovely, older woman with beautiful, silver hair replaced Blake. She stroked my cheek. The ringing faded enough for me to hear the woman.

"There, there," she said. "The first eighty-degree day of Spring. It can hit you harder than a hundred degrees in August. You're coming back to us, now, aren't you?"

I blinked.

The woman turned to the others around her. "Go on, now. She'll be on her feet in a few minutes. Go on, now, Blake, and I'll bring her out to you when she's better."

Blake leaned over and kissed my forehead. Then he left. The woman took the cloth and disappeared for a few moments before returning and replacing it on my forehead, cooler now.

"That feels good," I said.

The woman smiled. "Have another sip of water." She held the straw to my lips and I drank, closing my eyes as the cool liquid spilled down my parched throat.

"She gonna be alright?" It was Wyatt's voice. I couldn't bring myself to look, but he was standing somewhere out of sight behind me.

"She'll be just fine, Son," the woman said.

I felt a hand stroke my hair and knew it was Wyatt's. It sent tingles down to my toes. Then the hand left and his footsteps receded towards the back of the house. I opened my eyes.

"My name's Liza," the woman said. "I'm Blake's grandmother."

"It's so nice to meet you," I said. "I think I can sit up, now."

Liza helped me and then perched on the edge of the sofa next to me. She dabbed the cloth over my face. "I hope you don't mind my asking, but you don't happen to be pregnant?"

I laughed, relieved at the question. "No. Most definitely not. Blake and I haven't...I mean it's been a long time since we...I mean in a way that could get a person pregnant...." I realized, as happened so often when I spoke without thinking, that my sentence was leading me down a path that might make my conversation companion uncomfortable. Blake had reprimanded me for this on several occasions. Her question also brought to the forefront of my mind the thing that I'd been trying not to think of. That Wyatt and I hadn't always used protection. That I'd lied to Blake. Wyatt had been a man who'd spent the better part of twenty years of marriage having unprotected sex. It just wasn't second nature to him. And sometimes we were so far along before I thought of it that I couldn't bring myself to stop.

Liza rubbed my back. "Well you're getting your color back, now. Gave us all a bit of a start."

"I'm really sorry."

"Oh, hush now. A little excitement now and then is good for the heart." She smiled and stood and held out her hand. I took it and rose to my feet, standing still for a moment to make sure I was steady. "We'd better get some food in you, just in case," Liza said.

We strolled back to the kitchen and Liza handed me a plate with a fried chicken leg, some potato salad and a roll. "Just a little snack until lunch time."

I laughed and dug in. "I'm a big eater, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep up with all of you if this is what you consider a little snack."

Liza was trim and fit. She wore jeans and a loose, flowing white blouse with blue flowers embroidered on it. Her silver hair hung halfway down her back. I can only hope to be half as beautiful when I'm that age. "We work hard and play hard, around here. Always got big appetites as a result."

I liked the sound of it. If it weren't for the fact that I'd spent last weekend screwing my boyfriend's dad, I'd be well into fantasizing about a future life living out here in the country. Instead, I was filled with sadness over all I was about to lose.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Wyatt was having a heart attack. No, he was too young to have a heart attack. It had to be a heart attack. He escaped to the bathroom and locked the door. Then he sat down and tried to control his breathing. There were no shooting pains. Weren't there supposed to be shooting pains? If his heart beat any faster and harder it would surely explode. He was starting to see spots.

He squeezed his eyes shut and cursed. He'd fucked his son's girlfriend. He just kept saying it over and over in his mind hoping it wouldn't sound so freakishly horrible once he got used to it. It didn't. It sounded worse each time. He called himself every bad name he could think of and dug his fingers into his scalp.