Without a Doubt (38 page)

She lifts her head with a smile and kisses me. “Good answer. Maybe by then, I'll be okay with burping the entire abc's for you.” I laugh and her smile softens as it always does when she says, “I love you, Emerson.”

“I love you too, Eva.”

Every day I wake up with one goal in mind. Make Eva happy. As long as I reach that one goal, everything else falls into place. It's not always easy, especially when we argue over stuff that doesn't matter in the long run. Things like how I didn't like how she cleaned. Eva was quick to tell me I was stuck in how I've been doing it and it's the only reason I said she was doing it wrong. I stared at her dumbstruck because my first thought was she's not doing it how
I
do it. But at the end of the day, we're happy.

Without a doubt, we're happy, we love each other, and all the troubles makes it worth it when she's with me. There's a saying about how endings aren't so bad because it opens the door for a new beginning. Eva was my new beginning and I don't think either of us plans to let our story come to an end.

Lips of an Angel - Hinder

Without You - Hinder

Not Meant To Be - Theory of a Deadman

All or Nothing - Theory of a Deadman

100 in a 55 - Pop Evil

It's Been Awhile - Staind

Far Away - Nickelback

Someday - Nickelback

Never Gonna Be Alone - Nickelback

I'd Come for You - Nickelback

All or Nothing - O-Town

Used To - Daughtry

Crashed - Daughtry

Let Me Go - 3 Doors Down

God Gave Me You by Blake Shelton

Mine Would Be You by Blake Shelton

I Can Love You Like That by John Michael Montgomery

Dear Reader,

I've included four bonus scenes. You'll be able to read a scene with what was said when Eva and Glen escaped to Emerson's bedroom to make up for his withholding of information, the scene where Emerson giving Eva a key to his apartment from her point-of-view, Kelly's full letter to Emerson, and finally, a scene which fast-forwards to Emerson's proposal. I hope you enjoy these bonus scenes!

Thanks for reading,

Lindsay Paige

Eva and Glen making up

“CAN I BORROW your bedroom for a second?” I ask Emerson. When he nods, I turn to Glen, “Can I talk to you?”

Glen nods and I lead him down the hallway to Emerson's bedroom. We take a seat at the foot of the bed. I open the bag of cookies and pull one out for him and one for myself.

“Thanks,” he says.

“You're welcome.” I take a bite and then get on with it. I wasn't lying when I told him I stopped being mad at him before now, but it's time we officially make up. “I'm sorry for ignoring you. I was pissed you lied to me. You were my cousin way before you became his friend, so I automatically assumed that you would tell me any news no matter what. So, I'm sorry for putting you in the middle of my relationship with Emerson. I shouldn't have and it was unfair to do so.”

Glen shrugs. “I get it. I thought about telling you, but I didn't think it was that major. Emerson seemed to be shrugging it off and I knew you were freaked out—”

“I wasn't freaked out,” I object.

“You were worried about the situation,” he corrects with a roll of his eyes. “Either way, I trusted Emerson to handle it as he saw fit because he's a good guy.”

“Yes, he is,” I agree. “I promise I won't put you in the middle again. If he tells you something in the future, you don't need to tell me either. I think he'll tell me if it happens again.”

Glen's posture seems to relax as he finishes off his cookie. “I don't want to be in the middle of y'all either because that is definitely between a rock and a hard place, even though I would choose you every time. If for some reason Emerson doesn't tell you something I think you need to know, I will tell you. Otherwise, y'all are on your own. I'm hear to listen, but I don't want to play ref, or take sides, or stand in the middle.”

“Okay, that works for me.” Having finished my cookie, I lean over and hug him. “We should go watch the game before Emerson comes looking for us.”

Eva receiving the key to Emerson's apartment

“I HAVE A surprise for you,” Emerson says.

I almost forgot! I lift my head and grin at him, excited about what he may have for me. “When do I get to have it?”

“Now, if you want it.”

“Of course I do!” I tilt my head with my best
Are you kidding?
expression. When would I ever turn down a surprise? Never!

I sit, fold my legs underneath me, and cover my legs as he leans over to open a drawer of his nightstand. I lean to the right a little to attempt to peek at what he may have, but I can't see anything. My eyes are glued to his fist as he faces me again.

When Emerson clears his throat, I glance up at him. He takes a deep breath and I realize he's nervous, which is starting to make me nervous. “You stay over a lot and I thought I would give you one in case you ever needed it.” As he finishes, he opens his hand.

Oh. My. God.

There's a shiny, new key just lying in his palm.

He's giving me a key to his apartment? This is
huge
. I feel like I've been trying to wrap my head around how perfect we seem together, even with our issues, and now, to make it even better, he's letting me in a little more. He's sealing me into his future a little more. Itching to hold it, I gingerly reach out and pick it up.
Wow
. No wonder he was nervous. And I haven't said a word yet. I look at Emerson, speechless for probably the first time in my life.

“Thanks, Emerson.”

“You're welcome,” he replies.

I can't help but let my eyes fall back down to the key. This may just be the best day of our relationship yet.

“I have one more thing for you,” Emerson says. He stands and walks to his closet. After he fumbles around with something he picked up, he comes back to bed, holding up a keychain. It's a cute and simple silver E hanging from the chain. “E for Emerson or Eva,” he shrugs, giving it to me.

“Thank you.” That seems to be all I can say. I easily slip the key onto the ring. This is really happening. I smile at Emerson as what this means. “Does this mean I can come over unannounced and whenever I want?”

“You do that already,” he jokes with a smile.

I can't help but laugh. “Yeah, but this,” I hold up the key, “gives me permission.” As usual, I have to embarrass myself in some way around Emerson. My stomach growls like a freaking lion and Emerson's phone rings. I can't even find it in me to care.
He gave me a key!
Who needs doubts when I have a key to his apartment?

Kelly's Entire Letter to Emerson

Emerson,

You are the love of my life. I could go on and tell you how much, or the exact moment I knew, or discuss our time together, but I won't. You know our history as well as I do. I know you didn't agree with my decisions, but I'm hoping to explain them if you're willing to listen.

In short, I asked for a break because I knew there was no way you'd accept a break up without an explanation. I wasn't ready to explain and I knew I could convince you to a break at the very least. It wasn't fair of me, I know, but I've always been a little weak when it comes to you.

I wanted you to have time without me. To see other people so you'd know you could be happy without me. Based on what you said in our last call, my mission was successful. You've fallen in love with her, haven't you? Even though you said you could love her and be happy with her, I knew then that it was already true. I hope she's as perfect for you as you said. I hope you two live long and happily together and if things end with her, I hope you can fall in love again.

My intentions were to never call. But things here were looking gloomy and I missed you so much. I had to know how you were doing. I had to hear your voice. I had to know if you had moved on. I had to know if you were truly happy.

You were.

And I'm so, so happy for you, Emerson. It makes writing this letter easier. I asked for a break because I learned I was sick. If you want to know the terrible details of it, talk to my mom. Otherwise, I don't want to discuss it. My time is short and there are better things to dwell on than that.

I knew about a month before I asked for the break. I was conflicted because I wanted to tell my best friend, the love of my life, but at the same time, my heart was already hurting at imagining what this was going to do to you. It killed me to see your reaction to my asking for a break, but it also made me feel better about my decision.

If I had told you, it would have crushed you. We made so many plans for our future and to know that those plans were unnecessary now would have been too much to handle. If there was any way I could possibly make this experience easier for both of us, I had to take it. I couldn't handle the thought of you seeing me at what would turn out to be the worst time of my life. I couldn't handle seeing this break you and it would have. I was selfish and put my needs first, but it also helped me put you first. I wanted the rest of my time to be as normal as possible, even if it meant letting you go and keeping you in the dark.

If I had told you, you wouldn't have left my side. You would have worried about me while you were at college, probably come home as often as you could, and Emerson, I couldn't let you do that. I didn't want that to be your life or mine for that matter. Your life didn't have to end while mine was. A break between us would force you to be normal and hopefully, find someone who is a life-long love.

You found that someone in Eva.

Thank you for being the best person I ever knew. Thank you for loving me and letting me love you. Our time together was inarguably the best time of my life and I wouldn't have traded it for anything. You're going to do great things in life.

I just want you to be happy, Emerson. I hoped that if you found someone else, possibly fell in love with her, but definitely lived away from me, then you could be happy after I died and that it would make the grieving process just a little easier.