With This Kiss (28 page)

Still, even as Sean began to kiss his way down her body and she instinctively arched into his touch, she knew that contentedness wouldn’t last forever.

Lust, passion, was a good start.

But love was all that mattered in the end.

She shuddered as Sean’s mouth found her sensitive spots, as she gave up her thoughts to pleasure. And, later,
as she cried out beneath him, the words of love were right there on her lips, wanting so badly to be said.

Somehow, she swallowed back her
I love you
as she lost the thread of everything but the sweetness of his lovemaking, giving herself up entirely to him.

Neither of them noticed the room’s temperature shifting back to cool again, or the glass in the windows clanging, or the chilly air shifting and swirling around them as they reached the peak and jumped off together.

Feeling her shiver despite the heat they’d created together, Sean pulled the covers over them. Rebecca threaded one hand through his, putting the other over his heart, falling asleep to the steady beat beneath her palm.

Sean remained awake. He needed to think. Needed to make a plan and stick to it. He’d meant it when he’d said she deserved more than sex, but he’d told himself that a few dates, and some laughter, would be enough.

For a man who never lied, he had to wonder if he was, in fact, doing a hell of a job of it.

Rebecca shifted closer to him in the bed, so soft, so sweet. His guard should have been going up even higher. But he was safe here, with her sleeping, wasn’t he?

For just a few hours, couldn’t he let his walls drop?

There was enough moonlight coming in through her window for Rebecca to see Sean’s features relax into sleep. But it was more than sleep he was giving in to. She could feel it deep in her soul.

They hadn’t had sex tonight.

They’d made love.

But he’d been tense afterward and she’d been so afraid that he was going to leave.

Only, he hadn’t left.

He’d stayed.

With her.

She heard it then, a low moan coming from the walls, the windows, the floor. And despite knowing she should feel safe in the protective curve of his strong arms, she felt that moan of despair deep in her own heart.

Whether or not he’d intended to, Sean had made love to her tonight.

But that didn’t mean he was ever going to let himself love her.

T
he next morning when she heard Sean turn on the shower, Rebecca picked up the phone. “Hello, this is Rebecca Campbell. Yes, I was in to see you last week. But I need to see you again as soon as possible because I’ve recently learned something really important about the inn’s zoning.” She was smiling as she said, “Noon? Yes, I can be there by then.”

With bells on.

She was on the phone with Catherine at the town hall saying, “If you could please print out those zoning maps, Cat, I’ll be right over,” when Sean walked out of her bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

She actually lost the thread of her thoughts as she took in his tanned skin, his muscles, and the heat in his dark eyes.

“Sorry, what was that, Cat?” she said into the phone. “Thirty minutes is perfect. Thanks.”

She hung up the phone, tried to find her breath as she said, “Good shower?”

“Lonely shower.”

The breath she was about to take caught somewhere in her windpipe. “Oh. You don’t mean you and I could have—”

He moved closer, said, “That’s exactly what I meant,” before bending down for a kiss. He pulled back and said, “Sounds like you were hard at work.”

She stared blankly at him. His mouth on hers, along with the way he was showing more skin than he was covering, combined to make her brain go completely blank.

“Work?”

He brushed a lock of her hair away from her cheek and his touch sizzled through her.

“You were checking on the zoning?”

Her brain finally snapped back into place. “My friend Catherine in the county clerk’s office confirmed what your mother told me.”

“Good. I’ll call the council while you shower.”

She stood up, put her hand on his cheek. “I already did.” She kissed him softly. “Thank you for offering, but I was hoping you could cover for me here for a few hours.”

He looked surprised. “You already set up a meeting?”

Rebecca loved Emerald Lake’s community. His mother’s suggestion to look into the zoning was wonderful. And, of course, Sean’s support for her festival touched her deeply.

But some things a woman had to take care of on her own.

This was her idea. Ultimately, it was up to her to fight the final battle. If she succeeded, if she failed… either way, she was twenty-eight years old, and it was finally time to find out what she was made of.

“I don’t want you to feel left out after all of your help,”
she said softly, but before she could finish her sentence he was tipping her chin up with his hand.

“Give ’em hell.”

“You’re not upset that I’m going alone?”

He smiled at her, that beautiful smile that made her insides gooey.

“After seeing the way you played Dick at the bar, I’ve been wondering if I was standing in your way with the council that first time.”

“You were great with them, Sean. You’re so good at that sort of thing, so much better than I’ll ever be at meetings like that.”

“Don’t underestimate yourself, sweetheart.”

The endearment had her heart skipping a beat every single time he said it.

“I’m trying not to,” she said, and then he was kissing her again, and she was on the verge of forgetting all about the zoning maps and the council meeting.

“I’ve got an inn to run,” he said when they finally came up for air. “And you’ve got a festival to save.”

From shower to dressing, to heading out to the clerk’s office to driving through the winding Adirondack roads to the preservation council building, Rebecca didn’t stop smiling.

“Ms. Campbell,” the pretty middle-aged woman at the front desk said with a smile. “They’re all expecting you. Are you ready to go in?”

Previously, when Rebecca had been standing in this light-filled entry, she’d been shaking with nerves. She’d been unsure of so many things—her feelings for Sean, along with her chances at convincing the council to let her festival go forward.

And even though not very many days, or hours, had passed, so much had changed.

One sweet kiss with Sean in a roadside dive had turned into so much more.

Sean’s mother had approached her almost as a friend would have, or at least as an ally of sorts.

And Rebecca had decided to stop giving up.

From here on out, if she wanted something, she was going for it. Because she’d finally learned that the worst anyone could say was no.

And for the first time in her life, she was banking on yes.

“Yes,” she told the receptionist. “I’m ready.”

Finally.

“The festival is back on!”

Rebecca had been bursting to tell someone her good news. She’d assumed Sean would be the first person she’d tell, but then, strangely, she found herself driving to his mother’s house instead and knocking on the door.

“Rebecca, what a nice surprise.” Sean’s mother looked like she meant it. “I was just putting together something for lunch. Would you like to come inside and have something to eat?”

“That’s a lovely invitation, but I really need to get back to the inn to make sure Sean’s okay holding down the fort all alone. I just had to come and say thank you first.”

“Why don’t I come with you, then? I haven’t had lunch at the inn in a while.”

Rebecca couldn’t refuse the company. After Elizabeth quickly put away the food on her counter, and they walked out to Rebecca’s car, Rebecca was simply bursting to share her good news.

“So my suggestion about the zoning was—”

Rebecca interrupted with, “Brilliant.”

“I’m glad,” Elizabeth said. “I always thought your festival was a great idea. I don’t know why no one had thought of it before now, actually. Maybe it takes someone with a fresh eye on the town to see something new.”

Rebecca didn’t know what to say to that compliment, apart from, “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

“By the way, your fliers and posters look very good, but if you need any help in the future, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

Elizabeth would have been her first choice, but Sean’s mother had never really seemed to like her so she hadn’t thought she’d get a yes. “I’d love to work together, but I’m pretty sure we can’t afford your graphic design skills this year.”

“Nonsense,” Elizabeth said with a wave of her hand in the air. “I do pro bono work for local events all the time. Besides, my sons own the inn and the festival directly benefits their business. Of course, I want to help them in any way I can.”

Up until that moment, everything had been so good, but the reminder of Elizabeth’s fraught relationship with her sons—and the fact that she knew all about her kiss with Sean—made Rebecca glad when they pulled up to the inn.

She should get out of the car. Not open her mouth and mess up the first really good conversation she’d had with Sean’s mother.

But, oh, she had no idea how to do the right thing, did she?

“Elizabeth, I wanted to come thank you for helping me
with the festival, and I also—” She had to pause, had to stop to try and find a way to say what she needed to say about Sean. About how much she cared for him.

“You’re just what Sean needs, Rebecca.”

Rebecca gulped down whatever words had been about to spill. “I am?”

“Yes.”

Tears pricked at Rebecca’s eyes. It was a day of miracles. First the thumbs-up on her festival and then the same from a woman she’d never even thought really liked her.

“I care deeply for both of your sons. Stu will always be one of my closest friends, and Sean is…” Her words fell away as she looked up at his mother.

“He’s very special,” Elizabeth said softly.

When they headed into the inn, Sean was clearly surprised to see them back again, but as Elizabeth excitedly shared the good news with him, he didn’t hesitate to reach for Rebecca in front of his mother.

He kissed her and whispered, “I’m happy for you,” against her lips.

Shocked that he’d embraced her in front of his mother, Rebecca was amazed to find that all of her worries had been for nothing. First, she’d been worried that she’d never get her festival back on track, and then that dating Sean was the equivalent of banging on a locked door.

But for the first time since the door on her almost-marriage to Stu had slammed shut, she wondered if she’d found something even better than an open window to crawl out of. She’d found a clean, clear lake to swim in. A tall mountain to climb.

And a wonderful man to kiss… at least for a little while.

The next few days were a blur: keeping the inn running while going back and forth with the preservation council and parks commission during the day and making love with Sean into the late hours at night.

Rebecca was equal parts exhilarated and exhausted. Plenty of people had seen her and Sean at city hall looking at records. She’d seen their confused glances, the way they were trying to tell themselves there couldn’t possibly be anything going on between them. And then Sean would put his hand on the small of her back, or lean in to kiss her forehead, and the “nothing going on” illusion was shattered.

“You do it on purpose,” she said to him the dozenth time he stroked a hand over her hair after they’d picked up two cups of coffee at the Moose Café.

“What do I do on purpose?”

His tone was full of innocence, but she saw the wicked truth in his dark eyes.

“You touch me. Kiss me.”

“I like touching you. I love kissing you.” He backed up his words with a light stroke of his thumb across her lower lip, his mouth on hers.

“You like shocking them all, don’t you?”

He pulled back at that, stared at her for a long moment. “I’m proud of you. Proud to be with you.”

“I know you are,” she said, trying to stop herself from adding, “At least for now,” and failing.

She regretted the words as much as she’d thought she would, hating to see the way his mouth tightened, his jaw jumping once. Twice.

“You were clear from the start about what you can
give. It’s just sometimes,” she said, barely above a whisper, “I find myself wanting more.”

She knew how important honesty was to him, but she’d just told a lie. Straight to his face.

Because she didn’t want more
sometimes.

She wanted more
all the time
.

She knew she had his respect. She knew he appreciated her. That she made him laugh when few others could.

All of that was great.

But she wanted his love.