Wishful Thinking (19 page)

Fight with one girl, fight with them all.
 

Most of the basketball team congregated in the kitchen. Not once in my scan of partygoers did I see Trevor and he wasn’t with the basketball players huddled by the fridge.
 

We hung back by the breakfast nook. The dining table had been replaced by two large kiddie pools filled with ice and kegs. One of the basketball teams’s forward—Derek I think—gave us a curt nod and walked over.

“You guys here about playing yet?" Derek asked.
 

Dean shook his head and Nate hollered, "Fuck no!"

"Too bad," he said handing us each a cup. "Dean, that mean your skills are available?" Derek raised an eyebrow.

“It’s not canceled yet," I said.
 

“Yet, being the operative word,” Derek added with a wink. Fucker. Was it a habit of basketball players to snatch up other people’s property?

I ignored him focused on finding Trevor. Asking Derek where Trevor was, was out of the question. He’d infer too much from it. I didn’t need anyone having even a slight inkling that Trevor talking to Summer bothered me. Or worse, confirming my suspicions and telling me Trevor was off with Summer.
 

They could be making out.
 

That bastard could have his tongue down her throat right now. His hands could be precariously close to touching one of her breasts at this very moment. No. Summer wouldn’t do that.
 

“When hell freezes over," Dean slurred.
 

“Word,” I said. There was no way in hell I’d let Trevor have Summer. Never.
 

Derek smiled. "What about you Nate? Kyle says your hoops ain’t too bad?"

“Bad? Ha! I’d get all the play time and you’d get all the bench time. I’d hate to ruin your chances at a scholarship.”

Derek was laughing now, "Enjoy the drinks … on us, and have a good time." He walked back over to his teammates.
 

“On us,” Nate mimicked in girly voice. “Prick. Who the fuck wants to play with that fuck?”

“Loyalty guys, I have it.” Dean nodded his head, “I’ll never leave.”

“Of course you do,” I said, “and you have standards too.”

“You’re both wasted.”

Dean and I laughed. “A little.”

We filled our glasses and tapped them together. “Fuck basketball,” I muttered before taking a drink. Nate stayed busy scanning party guests. I’m sure he was looking for a conquest. One who might not have heard of the infamous womanizer.
 

Two girls standing by the refrigerator kept giggling and stealing glances. “I think those two are checking you out," Dean whispered conspiratorially to Nate and I over the rim of his cup. “Who?” Ian asked inserting himself into the conversation.
 

I forgot he was there.

“By the fridge," Nate answered not taking his focus from the hallway. Dean raised his eyebrows then polished off his beer and headed back to the keg for a refill. Ian tried to be smooth running a hand through his hair and turning his head at the same time getting a chance to glance back at the two girls. The cutest one with brown hair, and brown eyes, giggled and looked to the floor.
 

Ian turned back around and elbowed Caleb, “Druscilla and Simone from band."

Caleb turned around to check out both girls and didn’t even try to be smooth about it. He turned back shaking his head and tsking, “Druscilla used to be Marla’s best friend."

Nate never missed a chance to dig on someone. He smirked, “You’re still pining away for Marla?”
 

Suddenly, Caleb looked real sad. “There’s something to be said for girls who make you feel like their world revolves around you."

“Yeah, it’s called a stalker. Marla wasn’t even hot stalker either, she was a six on her best day," Nate said staring Caleb down.
 

Caleb didn’t jump to the bait. “Whatever, it’s nice to be important to someone outside your momma. And it didn’t hurt that she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. Hear me …” he leaned in closer, “… and she was eager to do it.”
 

“How many dicks do you think she sucked to get that good," Nate said wagging a brow at him.
 

“Don’t care. I wonder if Drusilla’s heard from her? Excuse me." Caleb then made his way over to join Druscilla and Simone. Ian followed.

Nate sighed and said, "This party sucks. Is Claudia coming?”

“Don’t tell me is she to be your Scarlett," Dean said rejoining us with his newly filled beer.
 

"What?"

Dean laughed, "You need more culture in your life. Princeton’s stick won’t fit up an ass that isn’t pretentious you know."
 

"Cut his ass off," Nate whispered low enough for only me to hear.

"Why are you looking for her?" I asked ignoring Nate’s statement.
 

"She’s entertaining. At least her father is anyway."

I leaned in, "Do you know anything about her father?"

"No, but he doesn’t seem the sort you’d want to cross, might go all Goodfellas on you.” Nate pulled on my sleeve, “You should come outside with me."

I turned on him, “What? It’s cold outside,”

“You should really come outside with me now." He pointed with his eyes to my left. I followed his line of sight turning around to scan the row of windows behind me and saw what he was signaling to. In the backyard a fire was going in the fire pit. Seated on a bench around the fire was Emily huddled up against Kyle and Tyler laughing and smoking. Next to Emily were Vince, Trevor’s older brother, and seated next to Vince a striking blond—Summer.

In the next second Trevor walked up to Summer carrying two glasses and a jacket. He put the cups down and wrapped the jacket around Summer whispering something in her ear. She didn’t pull away or act uncomfortable. Instead she smiled when he sat down next to her. She was smiling for Trevor the way she smiled for me.
 

A switch flipped in me. Bullshit. What in the world was she doing out there with Trevor?
 

I continued to watch them, laughing together, her slapping his arm in a flirtatious manner, him placing his hand repeatedly on her leg and her batting it away.
 

My hand contracted into a fist crushing my cup and spraying beer everywhere. I needed Summer. I wanted Summer. There was no way in hell she should be with Trevor and not me.
 

“What are you going to do?" Nate asked. I knew what I had to do. A deep breath to steel my nerves and then I handed my crushed cup to Nate.

My hands shook as I opened the door to step outside. I held onto the door handle taking a minute to close it while trying to find my nerve to confront her.

All or nothing.

Kyle was first to see me walk up and smiled. "Hey man glad you made it," he said, "Where’s everyone else."

“Inside getting drinks," I said wiping the beer that spilled on my hands onto my pants.
 

At the sound of my voice Summer’s attention snapped to me. I didn’t look at her face just the jacket around her shoulders and Trevor’s hand slapping her knee. Summer squirmed a bit but Trevor didn’t.
 

“Glad you guys made it, didn’t think you would," he said and smirked. He tried to settle his hand on Summer’s knee.

She slapped his hand away.

“Hey Summer,” I said ignoring everyone else.

“Hey,” she mumbled back scooting away slightly from Trevor. Trevor didn’t allow it and scooted over too. "Why don’t you join us," he said patting an empty spot next to him.

“Can we talk?" I asked ignoring Trevor’s offer. Son of a bitch, I’m gonna kick your ass, I thought but maintained my focus on Summer.
 

She bit her lip and looked at her feet for a moment then at me, “I-I don’t think so."

“James you should go back inside," came Emily’s voice from beside me.
 

I ignored her. "Please," I said still looking at Summer.
 

Her lips were saying no, but her eyes, oh those eyes were saying something else entirely. This would be the moment where I usually folded, acted unaffected and walked away. Not this time, not with liquid courage flowing through me. In one impulsive move, I leaned over, slipped my arms around Summer, and picked her up and put her over my shoulder.
 

“Excuse us," I said to the group.

Trevor jumped up to intercept I’m sure but Nate chose that minute to appear and put a hand to Trevor’s chest, "Give them a minute."

“This doesn’t involve you," Trevor spat.

“It might not, but …"

Kyle jumped in between us too, "I could use a beer how about you guys?"
 

"Put me down you Neanderthal!” Summer slapped and kicked in my arms, but I ignored her and carried her around to the side of the house. At a small patio a far enough distance away from everyone I put her down.
 

 
She slapped me hard across the face. It sounds sick but it turned me on. “I probably deserved that," I said and rubbed my cheek. Thankfully, she slapped the side of my face that hadn’t been bruised already so it didn’t hurt—much.

"Probably! You deserve a lot worse."

"Relationships take more than one person to exist and to fall apart."

The fire was in her eyes. “Shut up,” she spat and crossed her arms over her chest, but she didn't walk away.
 

"Are we over? Are you with him now?" Summer didn’t answer and looked away, “Because what the hell was going on back there? Why the fuck were his hands anywhere near you?”

She tapped her foot furiously, “You can knock off the pretense. I know you don’t give a shit.”

“Stop tossing accusations and answer me."

“No.”

“No what? No, we are together? No, you won’t answer me? Or no, you two aren’t together?"

“All the above," she said in a snotty tone.
 

We were getting nowhere, except angrier. I sighed and took a step towards her, “You’ve been ignoring me at school, blowing off my calls, and then I get hurt and instead of being with me, you accuse me of cheating."

“You noticed." She crossed her arms, “Take a hint."

“I’m trying but your hints aren’t very clear?"

She chewed on the inside of her cheek and stared down at the ground. "I just want your attention, that’s all," she sighed and looked up at me, “but it seems like nothing I do gets it."

I reached out and took her hands in mine pulling her closer to me, “You always have my attention, but I’m not going to play games."

"I’m not playing," she pulled away and sat down on a chaise lounge near the edge of the patio.
 
"It’s hard to be intimate with someone who isn’t intimate in return. You, you—" she put her hands on her knees and started tapping her feet furiously as she stared at the ground, "—it’s like nothing ruffles you. You know I hate Trevor. I’ve told him to leave me alone—a lot, but he’s persistent. I hoped if he did it in front of you, you’d put him in his place … you didn’t. End of story."

“I figured if I went all territorial you’d get angry, say I was too possessive or too jealous."

"Maybe, but at least it’d be action. It’s all these little things, they start to add up. All of the intimate moments between us are initiated by me, never you. We haven’t even gone all the way, and it doesn’t seem like you want to, which is weird, and when I saw you with Claudia, you looked so, so … happy.”

I took a wary breath. We were back to Claudia. I grabbed at my forehead seeking the words, trying to find the right way to put it.
 

I sat down next to her. “First, I don’t like her like that at all, like at all at all, and second Dean’s her type, not me."

“But you look so comfortable around her."
 

I didn’t like the pain I saw in her eyes when she said it. I could lie. Spare her feelings, because I knew she wouldn’t like the truth of what I had to say, but after the way I felt seeing Summer and Trevor so—chummy, I decided to be honest.

 
“Don’t mistake my silence for not caring because that’s not how it is. And don’t take me keeping my hands off of you as meaning I don’t want them on you. Believe me, they want to be on you, but …" here goes, "… it scares me, you scare me what if it doesn’t mean to you what it means to me? I feel all this pressure on me and I can’t breathe. There are things I don’t talk about, to you or anyone else. I’m sorry but that’s the way it is.”

“But you can talk to her?"

“Sometimes … I mean I don’t care what she thinks of me. You on the other hand––I damn near have panic attacks thinking about what you’re thinking. I don’t want to lose you.”
 

I remembered Trevor’s hand on Summer’s knee. My anger flared again. "The way I’ve behaved—I know it’s not acceptable. But that doesn’t give you permission to seek comfort in his arms without giving me the courtesy of a phone call. I deserve at least that.”

She was looking at me again, "I didn’t dump you," she mumbled.
 

"Then that makes it worse. I hate Trevor. It’s taking everything in me not to go find him right now and break his nose," I rubbed her cheek, "I never sought Claudia out. I wasn’t trying to use her as a weapon of jealousy against you."

She looked away again, "I know but, but sometimes it feels like that’s the only way to get your attention."

I ran my thumb down the side of her face turning her to look at me. I moved closer until there was only a finger space between us, "You are the only one who always has my attention." I ran my hand down her neck—god her skin was soft and warm—where it came to rest over her chest. Her heart beat quick beneath my touch, my own heart sped up.
 

"Always," I whispered and placed a delicate kiss along the curve of her neck.
 

She placed her hands over mine, using her thumb to caress the top of my hand.
 

"I’m sorry," she said when I pulled away.

"Me too," I whispered.

She leaned in and kissed me lightly on the lips. I wrapped my arms around her pulling her closer until I felt the curves of her chest meld into mine. I wanted her. Wanted to lose myself in her forever. Desperate to taste her, feel her fingers in my hair, her nails digging into my back.