WISHBONE (22 page)

“Rachael, do you not see what is happening?”

“I see that we can have anything our hearts’ desire. I see that you don’t like that you can’t control what
I
wish for
.” Rachael got up.

“Where are you going?” Julien followed her with his eyes.

She laughed mockingly. “I’m making bottles, calm down.” She snickered. “
Geez
.”

“Rachael, we need to wish the baby gone. We need to make everything right again. Even the pool…my bike…”

She swung around in an instant. It was Rachael’s turn to slam her hands down onto the table directly in front of him; Julien flinched and baby bottles scattered like bowling pins, one spilling its contents. She glared at him, her face so close to his he had to pull back.

She gritted her teeth. “You will
not
send that baby away,” she spat through gritted teeth.  “…over my dead body…
or yours
!”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Julien lifted his head from the pillow with an immediate feeling he was being watched.  He opened his eyes and looked back over his shoulder. In the doorway, a swift blur of movement was all he saw before sleep wore off and he came fully awake.

Sarah? 

He lay there for several moments feeling every blow delivered by his father the previous night. He could smell chicken cooking in the kitchen below. He left the bed and entered the bathroom, keeping his eyes down and refusing to meet himself in the mirror. He grabbed a bottle of Ibuprofen and swallowed several before leaving the room. 

In the hallway, he paused at the nursery. Baby Jessica was kicking and cooing in her crib. He entered quietly and walked around examining the contents of the room.

They thought of everything.

The baby, now aware of his presence and the possibility of potential rescue, broke into frustrated huffing. He went to the crib. She stared up at him, her tiny fists jerking in the air, heels kicking—she was a carbon copy of him. The thought of Rachael’s ire was more than he could bear today and he knew there was only one choice if he wanted to correct their misdoings.

Find a way to regain her trust.

Am I tricking her?

I don’t want to trick her. 

I want to remind her who we are.

The baby’s fussing amplified and Julien’s eyes fell upon the humming monitor attached to the crib bars. He awkwardly scooped her into his hands and up to his chest. He stood rigid and fearful, fully expecting to feel something
other
than what a real baby might feel like. He allowed himself to breathe again and she stopped squirming; her tiny body relaxing against his own in an instant. He left the bedroom, bouncing her lightly along the way. He was afraid to hurt her; he was afraid
of her
.

“Let’s go see Mama,” he whispered.

At the bottom of the stairs, he turned into the kitchen where Rachael was chopping carrots. She saw him, dropped the knife to the cutting board and rushed for the baby with outstretched arms. Julien twisted his torso to move the baby out of her reach.

“What? What I do?” he asked.

Rachael stopped for fear the baby would be hurt in the struggle. She watched him suspiciously, her body spring-loaded and prepared for anything. 

“You said Jessica, no?” he asked and moved past her to the counter where he single-handedly poured some coffee.

Rachael kept her eyes locked on them. The baby fussed and she moved toward them once more but stopped, mesmerized when Julien spoke softly to their daughter. He bounced her, becoming more accustomed to the feel of her and gaining confidence. Rachael’s expression softened and she hoped Julien had realized how wrong he had been. She stepped closer and placed a hand on the small of his back while running the other gently over the baby.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” She smiled, letting her guard down only slightly.

Julien smiled back uneasily. He did see she was beautiful. She was fragile, feminine, and innocent, regardless of how she arrived into the world.

“Do you want to feed her?” Rachael asked on her way to the refrigerator for a bottle.

“No.” He suddenly panicked. “You should do that.” He was both inexperienced and unwilling to do anything that would ensure his attachment to the baby. He leaned toward Rachael transferring Jessica into her arms then found a seat at the table where he carelessly reached for his cigarettes yet again.

“Uh, no.”  Rachael shook her head disapprovingly.

Julien returned the cigarette to its pack and watched Rachael feed the baby. He sat in silence taking in the scene and having to remind himself of all the reasons the baby shouldn’t remain in their lives. If nothing more, he had managed to reduce Rachael’s anger toward him, while inadvertently increasing his own confusion.

Julien was making an effort and Rachael felt the need to return the attempt. “How do you feel?” she asked.

You don’t really care anymore, so why ask?

He nodded;
whatever that means
, Rachael thought.

She briefly broke her loving gaze from the baby. “You look terrible,” she said.

He passed on the topic. “Rach, will you promise me that you will never play the game with anyone other than me again?” 

She looked down at the nursing baby. “I don’t see what the problem is? All we did was provided a nursery for your daughter.”
Nothing’s changed
, she thought.
He has to find something to complain about.

“I think Sarah had something to do with this,” he stated, motioning to his battle scars.

Rachael kept her tone easy, not wanting to upset the baby, but laughed, “You think our wish somehow manifested your father? I mean, you’re still trying to say that your dad…” she paused and looked away, her demeanor riddled with sarcasm, “…your
dead dad
beat the shit out of you?”

His first instinct was one of bravado, and he wanted to defend himself, let her know he had won the fight, but he quickly pulled back...

It isn’t important…

“I think Sarah had something to do with this, yes,” he added sarcastically, “…and I don’t think it should be so farfetched when we are able to crack the chickens bones and
pfff…
in the ground, heated swimming pools, no?”

“Jules…”  She paused to choose her words. “Sarah loves you.
She worships you
. You don’t get it because she runs away and you
never
get to see her in action, but she walks around here lovesick over your photos and blushing at the mere mention of your name. She would never hurt you.”

His cell phone rang.

Not now
.

He reached into his shirt pocket and glanced at the screen.

“It’s Matt,” he announced.

They wanted to visit…

He looked at the phone again.

Friday, June 26.

He rushed to answer, but it was too late. “I think they’re coming to see us.”

“I know. Lily’s been calling and I haven’t called her back…”

“No, Rachael…I think they’re already driving up now. He left me many messages and…” Julien tried to remember what Matt had said.

Rachael’s mind began to race. “Why would they just come up without talking to us first?” she wondered aloud.

Three beeps sounded and Julien dialed his voicemail; a sick feeling came over him. 

“Okay Julien…We’ll be there in probably… about an hour.  I don’t know what’s going on, but Lily’s freaking out. I’m a little worried myself…up here in the fucking boondocks and not calling anyone back. Guess you’re planning not to answer—again—so whatever’s been going on, we’ll be there shortly and you can calm our frenzied nerves face to face. Hope you guys are alright. You’ve got some ‘splainin to do, Jules.”

Julien disconnected the call and sat there stunned. While he understood that Matt and Lily were concerned, he could not deal with a visit from them right now. The baby…his bruises…the tension between Rachael and himself...even Sarah’s presence. 

This is not the time for guests.

“Do you see, Rach? This is what I am talking about. What do we say when they arrive? How do we explain
any
of this?”

Rachael got to her feet and hurriedly handed the baby to Julien. She opened the oven and pulled the half-cooked bird from its racks. She dropped it to the stovetop and let the pot holders fall away. She winced as the meat’s juices scorched her fingertips, but picked at the bird’s breast with a pinching motion until the wishbone was exposed. She removed the bone and began to blow on it, transferring it from hand to hand.

“No…”  Julien shook his head resolutely. “Rachael, no! I’m not involving them.”

“Shhh…You don’t know my wish.” She held the bone out between them. She motioned to the baby. “So help me God, Julien Grenier, if you dare…I promise you I will have Sarah in here with another chicken in a heartbeat, and Jessica’ll be right back in my arms by morning.”

Julien looked into her threatening eyes. He had no doubt she would keep that promise.

You allow her to threaten you?

 I need to think. I need time to think.

If I don’t break the wishbone, she’ll break it with Sarah and the outcome could be anything.

“This is wrong, Rachael! Why don’t you see it?” He shook his head again. The baby fussed and Rachael took her from him, smudging her pristine sleeper with grease. 

“Don’t! Don’t say it,” she warned and pointed an accusing finger at him, “…or the wish won’t come true.”

“I know what you’re going to wish,” he said earnestly.

“What do you know, Julien? Where I’m standing, you haven’t had an answer for
anything
since we moved to Kings Hollow.” She fought back laughter. “Now you think you know something?” 

Julien stared at her blankly. He could not believe what he was hearing.  “You aren’t even Rachael anymore. I don’t know what is happening to you, but you are becoming a stranger to me.” He turned away from the table, grabbed his cigarettes and stormed off. 

Rachael rushed past him and out the front door. He knew immediately that she would go straight to Sarah.

“Stop! Wait…” he called and moved ahead to block her from the steps. “Just promise me… I want you to promise me you will not play the game with Sarah ever again.”

“That all depends…” she said coyly. She leaned onto one hip, cocking her head and squinting at him in the sunlight.

“Depends? Depends on what?” he asked.

She changed her mind, deciding not to answer. “Julien, we don’t have time for this.  Make a wish!” She stepped closer with the bone.

“Depends on what?”  He demanded.

Rachael thought,
fuck you!
She attempted to move past him and toward the barn.

Julien grabbed her arm. “I’ll do it.” He reached for the bone.

Safer me than Sarah.

Rachael held the bone back and out to her side. “You understand, right?” she asked. Glaring at him, she nodded slowly, reminding him of her warning about the baby.

“Yes, yes!” He reached for the bone again and closed his eyes. His paranoia suddenly peaked and he felt sure Matt and Lily would be pulling through the trees at any moment. He had not a clue what to wish for...

I wish she was my Rachael again…

Rachael took hold of the bone and with little time to perfect her phrasing wished for Matt and Lily not to arrive. She didn’t bother to ask if Julien was ready, but impatiently yanked at the bone.

Tink!
 

The bone snapped and they both opened their eyes. Rachael beamed at the much larger half gripped tightly in her fingers. 

“There, that simple,” she stated, as she tossed the piece of bone over her shoulder to the grass and turned back into the house. “She’s asleep. I’m taking her up for her nap.”

Julien stared at the empty space where Rachael had been. Everything was out of control and it was happening too quickly for him to fix one problem before the next would arise. He backed up and, for the first time since they purchased the home, sat down on the porch swing. He buried his face in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. The swing inched back and forth slowly beneath his weight. He slid his fingers through his hair and rubbed at the back of his neck. He drew a deep breath and sat back. His peripheral vision registered, and beside him sat his grandfather; apple-scented smoke billowing into the air. 

Julien leapt from the swing, turning in mid-air to face him—
he was gone
.

P’tain!

I am crazy.

I’m losing it.

Fuck me!

Julien backed away from the porch watching the shifting swing closely then turning to the driveway where his motorcycle sat parked beside their Lexus.

I have to get out of here.

I can’t be here.

 On his bike, dressed in only jeans and a pair of sneakers, he revved the engine and gunned it down the driveway unsure of where he would end up.

* * * *

It wasn’t long before Julien was in town. He parked his bike beside the curb. He kicked the bike stand and left his keys in the ignition, entering an old Colonial, a placard dangling above its door—
Kings Hollow Town Hall
. He had no plan.

Inside, he walked past an open office door where a man sat talking on the phone; he nodded, then scanned Julien’s shirtless and battered frame. There were no door signs anywhere, only open rooms, but Julien continued down the hallway. At the far end, he found a woman in her late sixties, thoroughly engrossed in a soap opera. After standing there unnoticed for some time, he knocked on the counter between them.

 “Oh!”  She jumped up. “You startled me.” Her welcoming smile dissolved into dismay as she scanned him from head to toe. He could have been one of her favorite soap stars, if not for the remnants of Jerome’s beating.

Julien realized he was standing there only half clothed and looking like hell warmed over, “Forgive me,” he said.