Authors: Barbara Winkes
Tags: #Eternal Press, #winter, #Relationship, #Barbara Winkes, #GLBT, #Contemporary, #Romance, #women, #Coming out, #Autumn Leaves, #Lesbian, #Lesbian Romance, #womens fiction
Winter Storm
By
Barbara Winkes
Eternal Press
A division of Damnation Books, LLC.
P.O. Box 3931
Santa Rosa, CA 95402-9998
Winter Storm
by Barbara Winkes
Digital ISBN: 978-1-61572-874-9
Print ISBN: 978-1-61572-875-6
Cover art by: Dawné Dominique
Edited by: Carolyn Crow
Copyright 2013 Barbara Winkes
Printed in the United States of America
Worldwide Electronic & Digital Rights
1st North American, Australian and UK Print Rights
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any form, including digital and electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the prior written consent of the Publisher, except for brief quotes for use in reviews.
This book is a work of fiction. Characters, names, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
For Dominique
I’d like to thank Carrie Kimbrough for her input in the early stages of the story,
Mathieu Lachance for the beautiful trailer, Erin Lale, Kim Richards, Sally
Franklin Christie, Dawne Dominique, Carolyn Crow and everyone at Eternal Press for their expertise.
Chapter One
The wind picked up overnight, together with the heavy snowfall, leaving the town a fairytale landscape in the early morning. Rebecca Lowman found comfort in her familiar rituals, having the first coffee by herself even though the times when she had to be up at five thirty were long gone. She found the winter spectacle outside soothing, even with the lack of Christmas lights and decoration. The safety of home came with a new meaning these days, a safety she had to rebuild.
The past year brought drastic changes. Rebecca always loved the holidays, but Christmas had come and gone with some stressful times. Only recently, she’d found the way back into a blessed routine, the life in a new home, with a new lover and one of her children living in another town. The thought never failed to make her throat tight. She missed Dina. It didn’t matter that everyone agreed this was the best solution. She took a sip of her coffee, frowning when she realized it had become lukewarm. She’d been too lost in thought.
Maybe, if she was lucky, the storm would last and flights would be cancelled. Rebecca liked the idea of hiding away with Callie and Maggie. As far as her work was concerned, all she needed was a working computer and an internet connection. It was a nice fantasy. The weather forecast predicted warmer temperatures though. After all, this wasn’t just about her.
There was the sound of bare feet on the floor, and a moment later, Callie embraced her from behind.
“What are you doing up?” she whispered. “It’s the middle of the night.”
Rebecca turned to her, the corners of her mouth turning up into a smile. Callie did that easily.
“No, it’s not. It’s early morning.” Callie’s expression clearly said that she didn’t see much of a difference between the two. Rebecca reached out to tug a strand of hair behind her ear. For the moment, she could push her worries aside. Maybe the upcoming trip wouldn’t be so bad after all.
“Is everything okay?” There was a hint of anxiousness. Rebecca couldn’t blame her, because this moment, the two of them together, in their home, wasn’t something self-evident. They had worked hard to achieve this.
“I guess old habits die hard.” Maybe she’d just been kidding herself into thinking that the girls had needed her around, all of the time. Besides, the days had seemed so long, with so much to do. Rebecca thought she was living in a good solid marriage. She’d only recently begun to realize how much of a difference it made to have a partner who was actually present.
“What about you? Are you nervous yet?” Rebecca couldn’t deny that she was nervous about going back to New York, meeting some of Callie’s friends and work-related acquaintances, but it was Callie who was nominated for the book prize.
“No.” Callie shook her head as if for emphasis. “I’ve been nominated twice, never won anything. This time won’t be different, except I’m bringing my gorgeous girlfriend.”
Callie would say things like that casually, knowing well the effect it had on Rebecca who was pleased and flustered at the same time. Callie raised herself up on her tiptoes for a kiss, her hand cool on Rebecca’s flushed face. Rebecca couldn’t help her reaction. She was madly in love, had been long before she was able to admit it to herself. It was just one evening, one party. If it made Callie happy to present Rebecca to her business contacts, who was she to argue?
She cast a look at Maggie’s door. In all likelihood, her younger daughter would still be fast asleep. She would have had a half day in school, but it had been cancelled altogether due to the storm.
“You’re right,” she said. “It is too early to be up.”
Callie’s smile was sweet and full of promise.
* * * *
Normally, Callie would have been stressed about going back to New York even for a few days. The short vacation they had taken earlier—her, Rebecca, and the girls—had helped her relax. On the bright side, the ghosts she associated with the city were gone. On the less bright side, bad things could happen everywhere, even in the small town of Autumn Leaves where she’d come to hide last year.
Everything was organized perfectly, if not much better with Rebecca by her side. She was good at these things, making lists, checking every single point of them. Callie had let her, knowing that a little control would go a long way to ease Rebecca’s mind.
Maggie would spend some time with her father and older sister in the meantime. Everyone had needed a period of adjustment. David Lowman wasn’t mean or hurtful at all.
Still, visits will never completely cease to be awkward,
Callie thought with a sigh. A part of him would always blame her, disregarding the fact that he had found a new partner as well.
The phone rang, and she went to pick it up. Rebecca was working in the guest bedroom they had for now set up as her office. She had a couple of contracts to work on. The people in Autumn Leaves weren’t that unforgiving, although maybe some of them were just curious.
“Hi, Callie, it’s Dina. Can I talk to Mom?”
“Yes, sure. How are you?”
“Fine. Is Mom there?”
Okay, okay.
Dina had chosen to live with her father instead of joining the all-girls house. Sometimes, Callie was secretly relieved about that. Maggie seemed fine with seeing David every few weeks. He’d always spent a lot of time working outside of Autumn Leaves, so nothing much had changed for her. A teenager was in a whole different league.
“I’ll get her,” she said, already on the way. At the door, she knocked lightly and entered the room. “Dina for you.”
“Thank you.”
Callie went back into the kitchen, hoping the girl didn’t have any bad news. The day had started too beautifully. She allowed herself a moment to drift and lose herself in the pleasant memory. Maybe she was just jealous, with Rebecca on the phone with her daughter literally in a zone, having to realize that this was a space that would never be hers. At a moment like this, she had to remind herself what they had, what Rebecca had given up for her.
No, she would not go and try to listen in on the conversation.
* * * *
“Maggie said you’re going to New York again.”
Rebecca didn’t like the accusatory tone of Dina’s voice.
“Yes, but it’s work. Callie has to attend meetings, and a signing session, things like that. It’s just for a few days.”
“I’d like to come with you,” Dina said. “I know what you’ll say, but school will be fine. I study a lot more now, since Susan…anyway. What do you say, Mom?”
Rebecca took a deep breath, stalling as she tried to come up with the most diplomatic way to explain the situation. Never mind the pang of jealousy at the reminder just how well Dina got along with David’s girlfriend.
“See, honey, it’s quite expensive. I don’t have that many contracts yet.” During her marriage, she always been working part-time, but it had been an option rather than a necessity. Trying to get more clients in a town where everyone literally knew her name proved to be tricky at times.
“So what? Callie has money.”
“Dina!” Rebecca was speechless for a moment. “Not that much. It’s not the point, anyway.”
“I don’t get it. What’s different? Dad used to pay for things.”
He sure did.
More and more Rebecca felt like she’d been living in a treachery illusion of safety for the past years. She didn’t have all the answers for her daughter. In any case, she wanted to make the best contribution she could to her new relationship, which did not include asking Callie for money all the time. The vacation in New York had been a Christmas gift she hadn’t accepted easily.
Rebecca hoped that after she had found a few more clients, after the sale of the house she’d once shared with her family, she would feel differently.
“I’m sorry, Dina, not this time. You’d be bored anyway.”
“Don’t worry, I can entertain myself, Mom. Is it really just about the money?”
The sting was intended and didn’t miss its mark.
“I love having you around, all of the time. Just for this trip, I can’t afford it. Next time, I promise.”
“Grandma gave me some money for Christmas,” Dina said. “Maybe if—”
“Please. Don’t.”
Rebecca had reached a tentative cease-fire with her mother-in-law. She didn’t want to risk this progress.
“Oh well. We don’t even know if there was another seat on the plane.”
“That’s right. I’ll make it up to you.”
“It’s all right. Say hello to Maggie. Bye, Mom.”
Rebecca leaned back in her chair, wondering what to make of this conversation, and if she had completely screwed it up. In the kitchen, she could hear Callie and Maggie talking. They were practically best friends, bonding over a shared love for books and stories. If only everything was so easy. She tried to get back to her work, the website for a Mediterranean restaurant in town that had reopened after a renovation. It was either that or to complete her new contract with the church. Rebecca wasn’t so sure if Father Langdon hadn’t given her that project because he pitied her. In any case, it was very generous given the passionate speech she had held in church just a few weeks ago. It had been unplanned, but at some point the ridicule and bigotry of some townspeople had gotten to her. She still believed in every word she’d said. She still believed in the same God she’d been talking about and people’s ability to change for the better.
On the other hand, there was no denying that she had exposed herself. It was liberating and terrifying at the same time. She still had to make a living, and two contracts just weren’t enough. Rebecca closed the lid of her laptop, in need of company.
Maggie and Callie were ready to go out, all dressed up wearing winter coats, gloves, and scarves.