Winter Howl (Sanctuary) (29 page)

“In that way,” Kelly added, “you’re almost lucky. You don’t need a normal lifestyle. Not with your sanctuary. But I was an office assistant at a newspaper. It required a certain amount of normalcy. Which I couldn’t have as long as all this was just happening to me with no rhyme, reason, or control. I couldn’t even have peace in my own home. I kept blowing out lights, and I didn’t trust myself with candles in case they decided to fly about on their own and something caught fire.”

“I’m not lucky,” Renee said.

“I said ‘almost’.”

“Why are you telling me?”

“When David found me, I was a mess, but I had begun to control it. Once I stopped trying to get it all to stop, I was able to learn how it felt to move with it, then manoeuvre within it. But only after David turned me was I able to find the strength to control it fully. And I didn’t even know that magic existed and that magic was what was happening to me. Once I knew that werewolves were real, I was able to find other people like me. Not here in the packs, but in other places.

“The reason why I’m telling you this is because David found me when I was out of control. And he and Grant are not as different as they would like, at least when it comes to the company they want to keep. When David saw me, he saw an opportunity to change my world. Maybe thinking that it would buy him my undying devotion. It’s tempting to give in to that kind of personality, the kind that’s overwhelming and charismatic and unyielding. They’re like one of those waves on a beach, the one that doesn’t look as big as it is, then it hits you until you’re drowning and can’t reach the surface again because the tide’s going out. I got my control, Renee Chambers. But now I play cards with creatures who think I’m a parlour trick and who would eat me in seconds if I didn’t smell like them, since I don’t eat with them.”

“You don’t eat humans?” That made Renee a little less nervous about being alone with Kelly.

“You should worry more about being alone with Grant,” Kelly said. “I don’t hate what I am, but if I could function without being a werewolf…I would. Look, Grant’s good for a while. When you spend your life like you do, without any chances, taking a chance can be addictive. And maybe you think that if you keep him around, you’ll always get better. But let me let you in on a secret.” Kelly bent down and cradled Renee’s cheek in her hand. “Grant’s not giving you anything you didn’t already have. He’s not your key. He’s simply the catalyst.”

Renee jerked her head back. Kelly pulled away as though burned, even though it was her body that was hot. “I’m sorry,” Kelly said. “Did I say something?”

“You don’t know,” Renee said, standing. “It’s not the same. You don’t know.”

“I can see it, Renee,” Kelly said, with an earnest expression. “I can see you in my head. The way you go about your life. The way you need someone there. It doesn’t have to be him.”

“But you
aren’t
me,” Renee said. “I don’t need him, maybe. But I… I don’t believe in magic, anyway.”

Kelly’s chin rose as she took a deep breath. She guided Renee’s hand to her hair. “But you want him. For a while. You think you’ll be able to let go when that time comes. But that’s the difference between desire and addiction. I know that you like sex rough with him. I know about the scratches on your thighs. I know that Grant wants to turn you and that you’re considering his offer. I know that you have a malamute, not a Siberian husky, and that the dog turns into a woman who loves you. And I know that you like my hair.”

Renee leaned in angrily. “I’m not convinced,” she said.

“Then look at where we’re not standing,” Kelly replied.

Renee looked down and saw that she and Kelly were floating three feet off the ground. She snapped her mouth shut before she could scream, but she did fall backwards when she pulled her hand away from Kelly’s hair. Her arm broke the fall.

“Sorry,” Kelly said as she floated down to the ground. “I didn’t know you’d pull away so quickly or I would have made that fall softer.” She pulled her robes back so that she could kneel on the ground with Renee.

“Sometimes I use words, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I use potions and wands and herbs and whatever. Sometimes I don’t. I’m not all-powerful, but…” If anything, Kelly looked paler. “There’s no way for this to end well. Not with him.”

Kelly sounded like Britt. Too much like Britt. Renee knew this part already. Being careful on her arm, she stood up.

“I’m fine,” she said. “It’ll end when it ends. But right now—
now
—he’s helping.”

“Being a werewolf doesn’t make you normal,” Kelly muttered. Her bright green eyes were fixed on Renee’s hip, and it was only when Renee knew where Kelly was looking that she realised the fall had forced part of the knife into her hip. It began stinging the moment she knew. Kelly licked her lips and curled a hand around the back of Renee’s thigh.

“I’ll settle for half-normal,” Renee replied, with a slight tremor in her voice. As Kelly drew her open mouth closer to the wound, Renee added, “The knife is silver and might have poisoned the wound for you.”

Kelly did not pull away, but she did close her mouth. She closed her eyes tightly, and Renee could actually feel the skin re-stitch itself and the blood completely disappear from around the wound. Kelly’s teeth clenched, but then she forced herself to stand, using Renee’s leg as leverage. But she did not immediately let go, and ran her fingers up the back of Renee’s thigh to her spine.

“Think about what I said.” Kelly brushed her lips against Renee’s cheek before stepping back. “Maybe you would prefer a half-normal life where the smell of human blood doesn’t make you go a little crazy. Honestly,” she said, a little louder, “I think you both bit off more than you can chew.”

Renee felt Grant wrap his arms around her, his teeth on her ear. There were fresh claw marks on his arms.

“Don’t you two stop on my account. It looked like you were getting more than acquainted,” Grant said.

“You would think that,” Kelly replied. “I suppose you’ll take her to a vampire next. Then it’ll all sound like a bad joke.”

“I don’t know any,” Grant said. “It’s not on my agenda. I think you’ve effectively proven to her that magic exists.”

“Don’t bet on it,” Kelly said wryly. “I’m a bit unremarkable these days—I don’t even give a satisfactory light show out here. Besides, she’s already couched everything in pseudoscientific terms in her mind. When the supernatural is natural, it is hard to convince the jaded of the existence of magic, Grant. And what you now want of me can probably be explained as pharmaceutical.” The door of her truck squeaked as she climbed in for something in the passenger seat. She came out with four small three-ounce bottles filled with a brownish liquid. “This is what you wanted, yes?”

“You’re a goddess,” Grant answered, taking two of the bottles.

“Make sure she knows what it is before she drinks it,” Kelly warned.

“She won’t drink it
unless
I tell her what it is.” Grant held the bottles up into the sunset light. The brown became a dark cognac colour with the light shining through it.

Kelly cocked her head.

“Come on,” Grant said, still staring at the bottles. “The best things happen when the sun goes down.”

“Most people know that,” Kelly said. She held up the other two bottles and said to Renee, “I’ll put one of these in your truck, but you should take one now.”

“What is it?” Renee asked, accepting one of the bottles. She held it up to the light.

“One of my potions. It’ll keep you from conceiving for about six months,” Kelly said.

Confused, Renee said, “But Grant said he can’t…”

“It’s not for Grant,” Kelly replied, ignoring the way Grant glared at her. “Just a precaution. Just in case.”

Renee was not sure whether it was safe or whether she should trust anything Kelly gave to her. However, whatever she thought about magic, she
did
trust that Kelly cared about her welfare, even though Renee did not agree with her conclusions. She did not think Kelly would give her or Grant anything that would hurt her.

She opened the bottle. The contents smelt faintly of cucumber. Kelly nodded encouragingly, and she swallowed it down. It tasted the way it smelt.

Kelly smiled. “You’ll thank me later.”

“Renee,” Grant snapped. His sharpness was not directed at her. “We have to go.” He tucked his bottles in his jeans pocket.

Kelly touched Renee’s shoulder before Renee left.

“I’ll see you again,” she said. There was complete conviction in her voice, and her eyes seemed brighter in the shadows than they should be.

* * * *

“How do you know Kelly?” Renee asked.

“Are you asking whether I slept with her?” Grant replied.

“No.”

“I did.”

“I don’t care,” Renee said.

“She was David’s bitch. She’s got power beyond what David could ever hope to have. And she had a spark of interest for me, too. He was furious. Not so much that she was with another wolf, but that she was with me. God, I loved it.”

“Is that why you got thrown out of the pack?” Renee asked.

Grant snorted. “Hardly. I got thrown out because I had one too many fights with the alpha, and they knew I was stronger than he was. They always get so nervous when I come back. It’s part of the reason I come back at all. And they only let me come back because I don’t do it often enough to piss them off too much.”

Grant was leading her into the thick of the pack. She pressed herself against his side, trying to get as far away from the rest of the crowd as possible. If she could have crawled into Grant, she would have done it. Her fingers were tightly clenched, one into his side and the other on his arm. He pretended that she was not hurting him, but he flinched now and then if she squeezed a little harder.

The other humans were in the centre of the pack, wide-eyed and naked, while the pack was hungry-eyed and naked. Grant tried to disengage himself from Renee’s hands to shuck off his own pants, but she wouldn’t let go. It was as though her hands were stuck that way.

“Renee, I’ll give you something to calm you down in a minute, but you’re going to let go of me now.”

“I can’t move my hands,” Renee said.

“Let me try, then.”

He prised her fingers off him, one at a time, and her stomach clenched for every finger that released. They ached when she flexed them.

Grant pulled his pants off and took the vials from the pocket before kicking the denim to the side.

“They won’t eat you,” Grant said, letting her come close again, pulling her in to press her cheek to his chest. His heartbeat was strong and a little fast. “You know I won’t let them.”

“They’re people. You know,” Renee said.

Grant laughed. “You’re the only woman I know who would be more concerned about the crowd than the werewolves about to turn.”

“Yeah,” she muttered. “I’m unique.”

Grant found one of her hands and slipped a vial into it. “Drink this. Things are going to get interesting as the moon rises, and I think you’ll enjoy being a part of it. With me. Not with them.”

“Does everyone start humping or something like that?” Renee asked.

“Or something like that,” Grant said.

“You won’t be able to scratch me or bite me,” Renee murmured.

“At least, nothing that breaks the skin,” Grant said. He leant down and whispered in her ear, “But you can scratch and bite me all you want. And I think you’ll want to.”

Renee looked up at him, pushing her hair behind her ears. “In front of them?”

“You won’t care,” Grant said. “And they’ll be distracted by their own activities. We can leave when they start to run, run our own path. The potion will have worn off by then.”

“I can’t run with you.”

“Then ride me,” Grant said. His cock was beginning to rise, in spite of the cold in which Renee could see her breath.

“The potion’s an aphrodisiac,” Renee said. It was not a question.

“Naturally.” Grant’s smile was sharp, and he opened his own vial. “We don’t need it, but it’s fun. It’s out of control. It’s better than drugs.”

“Does it make
me
hump anything that moves?” Renee asked.

“Only if you want to,” Grant answered. And he downed his vial.

It smelt like maple syrup, and when he licked his lips, she was compelled to try it there. At first, he just let her lick—it tasted like maple syrup, too, although the taste was so faint that it could have been nothing. But then a shudder went through his body, and he shoved her coat off her shoulders, pulling it down until it fell around her feet. His tongue plundered her mouth and stole her breath. The low growl was back, rumbling through his chest and into her until she was gasping.

“God, woman, drink that potion now if you’re going to do it.” His eyes were glowing a dark red, and the pupils were dilated almost to the edge of the expanded irises. Fur crawled over his skin, but he was not changing—his teeth and nails were still human. It was as though he was trying to let something of his other nature manifest if he couldn’t release the sharper parts, for her own safety.

Her tongue tingled from where she had tasted the potion on Grant, and she could feel herself growing warm even as the night got quickly colder. She opened the top of the vial and swallowed the entire contents down, barely aware of the urgency of Grant’s fingers on the fastenings of her jeans or of the way that the wolves were transforming around them. As she dropped the vial, Grant whipped her around so that she could see the melee in front of her. The first scream of the night pierced through the wind rustling leaves and grass. But instead of horrifying her, the sound made her bones themselves sing. Every nerve thrummed with each minute stimulation.