Wine and Whiskey (Surviving Absolution #1) (17 page)

Her mouth waters at his description of the ultimate breakfast
dessert buffet. “It sounds like heaven.”

“It was. Until we met the owner.”

“Why? What happened?”

“I’m expecting this sweet, old lady baking goodies in the back.”
He gives a small shudder. “May turns out to be this sixty-year-old tattooed
biker guy with a goatee and ponytail wearing a greasy, tie-dyed T-shirt. I’ve
never been so disgusted in my life.”

She bursts out laughing, while Nick rolls his eyes at Max’s
disappointment. Her earlier embarrassment fades a bit with the easy-going
banter between them. Too much of a gentleman to say anything, Max never
mentions what happened upstairs. But being caught naked in Nick’s bed stings a
bit. Her cheeks grow hotter. Or, maybe her own guilt flusters her. She’s no
longer the person her mother wanted her to be, yet she can’t go back. And
doesn’t really want to.

As they eat, Max glances at his buzzing phone and nods to Nick.
“Carter’s here.”

Nick squeezes her hand before standing up. “We’ll be back in a
few minutes.”

The pitiful look on Max’s face about leaving his plate makes her
laugh again. “Don’t worry. I’ll save some bacon for you.”

“What about the pancakes?”

“Sorry, I can’t make any guarantees with those.”

With a mischievous smirk, he scoops up the platter, syrup
bottle, and a fork before walking backward out of the kitchen.

“You fight dirty.”

He points at the food and then at her. “That’s how it works.
Find your enemy’s weakness, and use it against them.”

While she giggles, his smile disappears and his eyes widen, as
if he suddenly realizes something. All his playfulness evaporates. “I’d better
go.”

Not wanting to be wasteful, she picks at her food. Max’s worry
is contagious, a reminder of the threats, even amidst their lightheartedness.

“Excuse me? Do you know where Nick is?”

Her head flies up at the unfamiliar voice. A man, maybe
twenty-one or twenty-two, stands in the doorway. He brushes thick, black hair
from his forehead, but it falls back into the same place, almost covering one
eye. “He told me to let him know when the truck was ready.”

“He’s in his office with Carter and Max.”

He glances over his shoulder at the closed door. “Oh, okay.”
Turning back to her, he wipes his hand on his black and red skater T-shirt
before extending it to her. “I’m Spencer, by the way.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Shae.”

His face hardens for a split second as his hand painfully
squeezes hers. “I know who you are.” The ominous look is gone as fast as it
came, replaced with an enormous smile. “I mean, I’m a huge fan. I love your
music.”

A feather of fear tickles the hair on the back of her neck
before floating away. The stress of last night must be making her imagine
things. She smiles and shifts into professional mode. “Thank you. I’m very
flattered.”

His head bobs with enthusiasm, shaking his bangs over his eye
again. “My girlfriend loves to work out to your music. We listen to it every
day.”

“Oh no, you’re going to get tired of it at that rate.”

He shrugs his shoulders and puts his hands up. “Nah, it’s good.
It makes her happy, so what can you do?”

Nick walks in as they talk and rests his hand on her shoulder.
She wraps her fingers around his, trying to eradicate her fear, fighting her
irrational apprehension. “Spencer majors in facilities management at CSU and
works here part-time, taking care of the house and property. He’s going to help
us move your things.”

“I appreciate the help. I’ll try not to load you up with too
much stuff.”

“No worries. There’s plenty of room in the truck, and I’ve got
lots of empty boxes in the back in case we need them.”

Nick nods and glances at his watch. “Okay, I need to make one
more phone call. Let’s plan to leave in about an hour.”

Spencer smiles again. “Ready whenever you are, boss.”

After the garage door closes, Nick sits down next to her, his
frown conveying another worry. She takes a deep breath. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for Carrie to stay at your house
by herself.”

Her shoulders droop against the guilt weighing on them. The
threat extends to her friends, another painful reminder of the cruelty of
Nick’s life. “Juan could hurt Carrie.”

“I can’t be sure. I don’t want to take any chances, and there’s
no reason she can’t stay here.”

She rubs her fingers across his shirt sleeve, tugging the ribbed
fabric on the edge. His bicep flexes as he lifts his arm to stroke her cheek,
warming under his gentle touch, stirring her desire to return to his bedroom
and let their troubles fade away. “I would love it, but I don’t know if she’ll
agree.”

“All we can do is try.”

He starts to stand up, but she grasps his hand. “Can I ask you
something?”

“Anything.”

“It’s about Spencer.”

His grip tightens around her fingers, his body tense. “What
about him?”

Now, she has him worried for no real reason. A look that gives
her a weird vibe? She sounds like an egotistical diva saying a fan gives her
the creeps. She has to let it go. “Do you think he minds working on a Sunday?
He probably has stuff for school.”

He smiles and pulls her up, his fingers gliding around her
waist. “From what he’s told me, he can use the money. But I’ll send him home
right after we’re finished.”

* * * *

Carrie’s stretched out on her bed flipping through wedding
magazines when they arrive at the house. Orange sticky notes with scribbled
comments mark several pages. She winks at Nick before smiling. “Sorry, you two.
I’m out of condoms, and I… ” She tilts her head and squints at Shae. “What’s
wrong?”

Curling her dress around her fingers, Shae purses her lips
before speaking. “You might be in danger here by yourself. We want you to stay
at Nick’s house too.”

His chest burns at her straightforward explanation. So matter–of-fact
about the worry she carries. Almost as if she accepts a life with him
guarantees fear and violence. A little bit more of her sweet innocence stolen.

Carrie frowns before shrugging her shoulders. “I’ll be fine.
What does Juan care about me?”

“He wants to hurt Nick. Getting to you or me would do that.”

“This is too weird.” Her eyes widen. “Shit! I haven’t even told
Nathan yet about what happened. He’s going to freak out about you, let alone me
moving in with you guys.” She shakes her head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do it.”

Shae sits down next to her on the bed, smoothing her skirt over
her knees. “I’m sorry to pull you into this, but I’m scared for you. Please
come with us. We’ll talk to Nathan and convince him
it’s
okay.”

“I don’t know. Won’t it be awkward?”

“I promise it won’t be. Please, Carrie? I want you to stay with
us. I don’t know what I’ll do if something happens to you.” Shae’s voice
cracks, fear strangling her plea.

He takes over, nodding in agreement. Carrie has to know he means
it as much as she does. “We both want you there. I would feel better knowing
you’re safe, and you and Shae can keep living together until the wedding.”

She looks from him to Shae, her mouth downturned as her brow
furrows. “Okay, let me talk to Nathan. If he doesn’t go too ballistic, I’ll do
it.”

Shae wraps her arm around her friend and lays her head against
her shoulder. “Thank you. I know this is unfair to you, but it will be good, I
swear.”

“Yes, living at a gorgeous house on the beach with a huge pool
is awful. You’re really asking too much, but somehow I’ll power through.”

“Let me get my stuff, and then I’ll help you pack.”

He rubs Shae’s back, nodding toward the hallway. “I’ll be
there in just minute, sweetness.” Once she walks out of the room, he turns to
Carrie. “Thanks for doing this. I know you don’t really want to, but she needs
you.”

“Listen, I don’t mean to be a bitch, but this is fucked up.” She
rubs her crossed arms, as if trying to calm her anxiety. “I’ll do anything for
Shae, and I can’t let her go through this alone. But all of this scares the
shit out of me, and it’s really going to piss off Jason and Nathan. I keep
having to defend you to them. If anything else happens, I don’t know if I can
keep doing it.”

At least she’s honest and confirms what he suspects. Her support
is precarious at best. He can’t mess this up. “I’m sorry you’ve had to do
that.”

She bends over and gathers up the magazines, putting them into a
neat stack and setting them on the bedside table. The only order in a seemingly
tornado-ravaged room, signaling her worry. “Yeah, well, I do it for her because
I love her, and she loves you. That’s what best friends do.”

His heart races. Carrie holds the answer to the mystery he’s
never been able to figure out. “How do you know?”

“How do I know what?”

“That she loves me. She never says it.”

Carrie blows out a long breath. “Shit. I shouldn’t be talking
about this with you.”

“Please tell me. I have to know.”

She coils her hair around the back of her neck, shaking her
head, fighting with herself. He forces himself to keep quiet, not say anything
to make himself the loser of her internal battle. “Her mom…had some issues.
She’s the reason Shae and Evan broke up. Right after she told Evan she loved
him, Jackie went berserk and gave her an ultimatum. Her or Evan. Of course, she
chose her mom. When she told Evan it was over, he was really hurt and said some
things he shouldn’t have.”

Fucking bastard
. Heat creeps up his neck and face, his jaw aching from his
clenching teeth. “What did he say?”

“That her mom was crazy, and if Shae really loved him, she would
choose him. He threw it back in her face she said she loved him and then broke
up with him.”

The image of her being talked to like that
makes
his chest pound, providing a concrete reason to despise Evan beyond just his
jealousy of him being Shae’s first love. “Son of a bitch.”

She shakes her head. “Evan’s a good guy. He was devastated. He
wanted to marry her, and she broke his heart. He tried to make it up to her,
begged her to forgive him, called tons of times, sent flowers, but she never
got over it.”

He drives his hand through his hair, trying to keep his temper
in check. This bastard’s vindictiveness stands between him and Shae, keeping
her from letting him in completely. “If she doesn’t tell me she loves me, then
she thinks she can’t hurt me.”

“Something like that. All this with her mom and Evan really
messed with her head. She doesn’t trust herself, or anyone else.”

“Except you.”

Her eyes widen as she meets his. “I’ll never make her choose. I
wouldn’t do that to her, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“No, I wasn’t. But, if you did, I would step aside. She’d be
better off with you than me, anyway.” A commitment to himself as well as to
Carrie. After what he’s put Shae through, he’ll always do what’s best for her,
even if it kills him.

“You really love her, don’t you?”

More than anything or anyone, including himself. “Yes.”

“Then make sure nothing else happens, or I won’t be able to stop
Jason and Nathan from trying to get her to end things with you.” She picks up
her phone. “I’d better call Nathan.”

Chapter Nine

“I’m going to miss this bed.”

Her heart flip-flops at Nick winking at her, sprawled across her
yellow patchwork quilt, his hands behind his head, while she folds clothes and
tucks them into her suitcase. With the outline of his stomach muscles pressed
against his taut shirt and broad shoulders spread over her pillow, he still exudes
the sexy confidence that attracted her to him in the first place.

The only difference is—now she loves him.

“How can you miss it? You’ve hardly been in it.”

“This is where we made love for the first time. You finally let
me into your heart a little.”

A huge smile crosses her face. Carrie’s affinity for the naughty
rubs off on her when she least expects it.

“What?”

She shakes her head. Telling him can only lead to trouble. “It’s
nothing.”

“Now you have to say it.”

Unable to stop smiling, she covers her mouth with her hand. “I
can’t. It’s too embarrassing.”

He props up on his elbow, the bed creaking from his shifting
weight. Her cheeks heat at his relentless gaze. “Tell me.”

“Fine.” She shrugs her shoulders before dropping her favorite
bracelet into its velvet bag. “I must be tired because I thought you were going
to say it was the first time I let you into my panties.”

“What? Here I was trying to be romantic and you’re being dirty?”
He rolls off the bed and stalks toward her, lust darkening his eyes. A quiver
rolls through her as he pulls her to him, one hand gliding from her waist to
the bottom of her dress. “So, you want me to get into your panties, huh?”

“No, no, no.” She pushes on his chest and gives him her most
serious look, which only eggs him on as he slides his fingertips up her thigh,
brushing against the lacy fabric. “Spencer and Max are just down the hall.”

Ignoring her protests, he slips a finger inside and strokes her
soft folds, holding her tight against him as her knees dip, succumbing to his
touch. His mouth trails kisses up her neck before his husky voice fills her
ear. “Is this what you like?”

Her eyes drift shut as her lips part, releasing a small gasp at
his finger curling inside her. Clutching his shirt, she leans her head against
him, the growl in his chest rumbling under her cheek. “Carrie could come any
minute.”

“So could you, if you let me take these things off.”

“You’re terrible.”

“Just following your lead.”

A knock sounds on the bedroom door. “What are you guys doing in
there?” Carrie’s singsong voice echoes from the other side.

She almost whimpers from his hand falling away. “I told you.”

He kisses her neck again before tugging on the fabric. “This
isn’t over.”

Stepping back, she
smoothes
down her
dress and opens the door. Carrie looks from her to Nick. “God! Again? Please
stop fucking him. It makes me so jealous. I wish I never promised Nathan we
would hold off until the wedding.”

Nick’s eyebrows fly up as he laughs. “He’s the one who asked to
wait?”

“Of course! Why in the hell would I want to stop having sex?”
She holds up her makeup bag. “I’m all finished except for the honey-avocado
conditioner I bought last week. Do you have it?”

“I think so. Let me check.” Shae looks back over her shoulder as
she walks into the bathroom. “What did Nathan say?”

“He was pretty upset, but we didn’t get to talk for long. A big
turf war broke out, and the injured gang bangers were starting to roll in. From
the background noise, it sounded pretty hectic.”

“But he must have said yes if you packed.”

“Not exactly. He said I should do what was safest for now, and
we would talk about it tonight. I guess going to Nick’s is the safest, so here
I am.”

Nick runs his hand through his hair. “Invite him to come over
after he gets off work. He can see where you’re staying, and we can talk.”

Carrie frowns as she drops the bottle Shae hands her into her
bag and zips it closed. “I can’t wait.”

Her stomach clenches at Nick’s guilt and her friend’s worry. The
three of them combined still may not be enough to persuade Nathan to let Carrie
stay, or not blame Nick for the danger.

* * * *

As soon as Nathan walks into Nick’s house, he wraps his arms
around Carrie. “Are you okay?”

Shae’s stomach aches at his sweet gesture. Nathan works more
than seventy hours a week in an adrenaline-surging environment taking care of
the sick and injured. He doesn’t need the added worry of Carrie’s safety on top
of his other stress.

“Yes, I’m fine. Everything’s good.”

He pulls back and looks at Shae, shaking his head. “What about
you?”

Shame fills her chest at the disappointment clouding his eyes, as
if he really asks why she got them into this, why she’s turned into a
troublemaker. It’s not a role she normally plays, a title she’s never worn.
“I’m fine too. We’ve just been unpacking and getting settled.”

Nathan nods and looks around, his gaze scanning the immaculate
house filled with expensive furniture and priceless paintings. Taking in the
money and the guards and the vastness, but not seeing the love behind the
things, the warmth beyond the luxury. “You have a really nice house, Nick.”

“Thank you. You look like you could use a drink. Do you want a
beer?”

“That’d be great, thanks.”

After Nick walks into the kitchen, Carrie tugs on Nathan’s
sleeve. “Where’s Jason? I thought he was coming with you.”

“He’s too upset.” He frowns at Shae, and her heart drops at the
frustration she generates in both her friends. “He said you won’t listen to
anyone, so he isn’t going to bother.”

The truth hurts. He warned her, and she didn’t listen. She can’t
blame him for avoiding her, yet never thinking he would give up on her, not
realizing their friendship is so insignificant to him.

Nathan takes a long swallow from the bottle Nick hands him
before sitting down on the sofa. “So, tell me what happened again.”

Carrie reaches for his hand. “There’s been some trouble and—”

“Please, Carrie.” Nathan shakes his head, his eyes moving from
Shae to Nick. “I want to hear it from Nick.”

Carrie’s cheeks burn red, and she bites her lip, preventing the
anger flaming in her eyes from spilling out of her mouth. Shae hangs her head.
Now, she’s causing problems between her best friends. Her selfishness hurts
everyone she loves.

Nick rubs his thumb over her fingers, a comforting reminder
they’re in this together, as he meets Nathan’s eye. “I have a business
acquaintance who’s out of control. I didn’t realize to what extent until he
shot my driver and threatened Shae. I won’t make that mistake again. But, to
ensure Shae and Carrie’s safety, I want them to live here until everything is resolved.”

Nathan’s eyes grow wide, his face flushing. “Resolved how?”

“I’ll make sure he’s no longer a threat.”

“That’s what I thought.” Both Nathan’s body and his voice rise,
and he points at Nick. “You’re involved with God knows what, and now my fiancée
and her best friend are in the middle of it. Don’t expect me to say all of this
is okay.”

“I don’t expect anything.” Nick shakes his head, his voice
steady but tight, restraining his irritation.

“You and your associates shouldn’t suck innocent people into
your fight.”

The injustice of Nathan’s accusations boils in her. She jumps up
off the sofa, losing the comfort of Nick’s touch, yet adamant Nathan knows the
truth. “Nick can’t control what other people do. You can’t blame him for this.”

Nick’s hand slides around her fingers again, pulling her down
next to him. “It’s okay, sweetness. I’ll take what I deserve. You don’t have to
defend me.”

“If you really love her, you wouldn’t put her in the situation
to have to defend you at all. It’s time to end this. Let her be with a nice guy
who can take care of her without putting her in danger.”

Humiliation heats through her at Nathan’s words, at the
realization of how they see her. Someone who can’t take care of herself, who
needs others to decide what’s best for her.

“You mean like Evan?” Now low and hard, all the restraint
vanishes from Nick’s voice. His anger speeds toward the level reserved for Juan
unless she stops it. She entwines their fingers, putting her other hand on top
of his.

Nathan shrugs his shoulders, feigning indifference to Nick’s
fury, only the twitch of his right eye giving him away. “At least with Evan
she’s safe.”

“Yeah, a man who punishes her when he doesn’t get his way and
berates her when she’s already heartbroken. That’s what she fucking deserves?”

Carrie’s mouth falls open. “Nick! That was between us!”

They fight over her as if she’s a child, treating her like she’s
four instead of twenty-four. She shakes her head. Because she always lets them,
goes along with what everyone else wants. But, not this time. Not anymore.
“Please stop. I don’t need all of you
to decide what I do with my life. I’m the only one who can make that decision.”

Her reprimand quiets the conversation. Nathan takes another
drink while Carrie glares at Nick as he stands up.

“You’re right.” Nick rubs his knuckles across her cheek, making
her stomach drop at the doubt in his eyes. “Do what you have to do.”

No one says a word as he walks out of the living room and jogs
up the stairs. Shae turns back to Nathan. “I know you’re upset, but he is too.
No one feels worse about what happened than him.”

“I realize that, but if he wants to feel better, he needs to get
you two out of the middle of this.”

“He’s trying the only way he can.”

“Listen to what I’m telling you. A man was shot. You could have
been killed.” He speaks slowly, emphasizing each word to drive home his point,
hurting her more with each stab. “I see this stuff every day. Can you imagine,
if God forbid, Carrie or you showed up in the ER with—” He picks up Carrie’s
hand. “I know you think you love him, but he’s not worth dying for.”

“I do love him.” Shae stands up and walks outside to the deck.
The cool breeze is ineffective at calming the emotions battling between her
head and her heart. Everyone thinks they know what she should do, but she has
no idea. Rational thought overridden by love.

“Hey,” Carrie’s soft voice murmurs behind her. “You okay?”

“No.” Her shoulders sag under the weight of the truth. “Nathan’s
right, isn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“So, what should I do?”

Carrie spreads her arms out in front of her. “Stay here with
Nick and let him keep you safe. That’s what’s most important right now.”

“But being with him is wrong. Isn’t it?”

“Who knows? How does anyone really know what’s right?”

The faint light from the house dances on the black water as the
waves ebb and flow across the sand, matching the argument in her head to stay
or to go. Trying to find her own voice, stifled by ones from the past and
present.

“All I can think about is my mom. She’d want me to leave Nick
too. But, the scary thing is, I don’t know if it would be for my safety or just
because she never wanted me to be happy since she never could be.” She rubs her
hand across the railing. “Evan was right about her.”

“Are we being honest with each other?”

She lets out a small laugh, the absurdity of the situation
almost comical if it wasn’t so bleak. “At this point, what else can we be?”

“She was crazy. But she loved you and wanted you to be happy.
She just didn’t know how to do it without trying to protect you from getting
your heart broken.”

Wrapping her arms around herself, Shae blows out a deep breath.
Everyone blames Nick, judging him for the burdens she bears from being with
him. Yet she comes with issues too, alienating him with her irrational behavior
even though he never admits it. “I just don’t want to end up like her, alone
and bitter.”

Carrie shakes her head, a small smile brightening her face.
“Nah. It’s too late for that. You’re in love. You just need to admit it to
him.”

“I’m too scared.”

“I know.” Carrie pulls her hair into a pony tail, a nervous
habit she doesn’t even realize she has. “Do you know why I love Nathan?”

Friends since kindergarten, Shae knows, but shakes her head
anyway, wanting to hear again what makes her best friend truly happy.

“Everyone always thinks of me as wild Carrie, which I am most of
the time. But, sometimes I feel like laying low. Not always having to be ‘on,’
you know? And he loves me anyway. I think it’s the part he likes best actually.
He puts up with the crazy because he knows the real me underneath.”

She wraps her arm around Carrie’s waist and leans her head on
her friend’s shoulder. “Me too.”