Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China (29 page)

The hospital had a small amount of American medicine for TB.  Mrs. Ting charged in and got hold of the whole lot for my mother.  When my father found out he asked Mrs.  Ting to take at least half of it back, but she snapped at him: "What sense does that make?  As it is, this is not enough for one person.  If you don't believe me, you can go and ask the doctor.  Besides, your wife works under me and I am making the decisions about her."  My mother was enormously grateful to Mrs.  Ting for standing up to my father.  He did not insist.  He was obviously torn between concern for my mother's health and his principles, according to which his wife's interest must not override that of the ordinary people, and at least some of the medicine ought to be saved for others.

Because of my huge size and the way I grew upward, the cavities in her lungs were compressed and started to close.  The doctors told her this was a compliment to her baby, but my mother thought the credit should probably go to the American medicine she had been able to take, thanks to Mrs.  Ting.  My mother stayed in the hospital three months, until February 1952, when she was eight months pregnant.  One day she was suddenly asked to leave, 'for her own safety."  A friend told her that some guns had been found in the residence of a foreign priest in Peking, and all foreign priests and nuns had fallen under extreme suspicion.

She did not want to leave.  The hospital was set in a pretty garden with beautiful water lilies, and she found the professional care and the clean environment, which were rare in China at that time, extremely soothing.  But she had no choice, and was moved to the Number One People's Hospital.  The director of this hospital had never delivered a baby before.  He had been a doctor with the Kuomintang army until his unit had mutinied and gone over to the Communists.  He was worried that if my mother died giving birth, he would be in dire trouble because of his background and because my father was a high official.

Near the date when I was due to appear, the director suggested to my father that my mother should be moved to a hospital in a larger city, where there were better facilities and specialist obstetricians.  He was afraid that when I emerged, the sudden removal of pressure might cause the cavities in my mother's lung to reopen and produce a hemorrhage.  But my father refused; he said his wife had to be treated like anyone else, as the Communists had pledged themselves to combat privilege.  When my mother heard this she thought bitterly that he always seemed to act against her interest and that he did not care whether she lived or died.

I was born on 25 March 1952.  Because of the complexitty' of the case, a second surgeon was invited in from another hospital.  Several other doctors were present, along with staff with extra oxygen and blood transfusion equipment, and Mrs.  Ting.  Chinese men traditionally did not attend births, but the director asked my father to stand by outside the delivery room because it was a special case and to protect himself in case anything went wrong.  It was a very difficult delivery.  When my head came out, my shoulders, which were unusually broad, got caught. And I was too fat.

The nurses pulled my head with their hands, and I came out squeezed blue and purple, and half strangled.  The doctors placed me first in hot water, then in cold water, and lifted me up by my feet and smacked me hard.  Eventually I started crying, very loudly, too.  They all laughed with relief.

I weighed just over ten pounds.  My mother's lungs were undamaged.

A woman doctor picked me up and showed me to my father, whose first words were: "Oh dear, this child has bulging eyes!"  My mother was very upset at this remark.

Aunt Jun-ying said, "No, she just has beautiful big eyes!"

As for every occasion and condition in China, there was a particular dish considered just right for a woman immediately after she had given birth: poached eggs in raw sugar juice with fermented glutinous rice. My grandmother prepared these in the hospital, which, like all hospitals, had kitchens where patients and their families could cook their own food, and had them ready the minute my mother was able to eat.

When the news of my birth reached Dr.  Xia, he said:

"All, another wild swan is born."  I was given the name Er-hong, which means "Second Wild Swan."

Giving me my name was almost the last act in Dr.  Xia's long life. Four days after I was born he died, at the age of eighty-two.  He was leaning back in bed drinking a glass of milk.  My grandmother went out of the room for a minute and when she came back to get the glass she saw the milk had spilled and the glass had fallen to the floor.  He had died instantly and painlessly.

Funerals were very important events in China.  Ordinary people would often bankrupt themselves to lay on a grand ceremony and my grandmother loved Dr.  Xia and wanted to do him proud.  There were three things she absolutely insisted on: first, a good coffin; second, that the coffin must be carried by pallbearers and not pulled on a cart; and third, to have Buddhist monks to chant the sutras for the dead and musicians to play the mona, a piercing woodwind ins manent traditionally used at funerals.  My father agreed to the first and second requests, but vetoed the third.  The Communists regarded any extravagant ceremony as wasteful and 'feudal."  Traditionally, only very lowly people were buried quietly.  Noise-making was considered important at a funeral to make it a public affair:, this brought 'face' and also showed respect for the dead.  My father insisted there could be no suona or monks.  My grandmother had a blazing row with him.  For her, these were essentials which she just had to have.  In the middle of the altercation she fainted from anger and grief.  She was also wrought up because she was all alone at the saddest moment of her life.  She had not told my mother what had happened, for fear of upsetting her, and the fact that my mother was in the hospital meant that my grandmother had to deal directly with my father.  After the funeral she had a nervous breakdown and had to be hospitalized for almost two months.

Dr.  Xia was buried in a cemetery on top of a hill on the edge of Yibin, overlooking the Yangtze.  His grave was shaded by pines, cypresses, and camphor trees.  In his short time in Yibin Dr.  Xia had won the love and respect of all who knew him.  When he died, the manager of the guesthouse where he had been living arranged everything for my grandmother and led his staff in the silent tuner al procession.

Dr.  Xia had been happy in his old age.  He loved Yibin and took tremendous pleasure in all the exotic flowers which flourished in the subtropical climate, so different from Manchuria.  Right up until the very end he enjoyed extraordinarily good health.  He had had a good life in Yibin, with his own house and courtyard rent free; he and my grandmother were well looked after, with abundant supplies of food delivered to their home.  It was the dream of every Chinese, in a society without any social security, to be cared for in old age.  Dr. Xia was able to enjoy this, and it was no small thing.

Dr.  Xia had got on very well with everybody, including my father, who respected him enormously as a man of principle.  Dr.  Xia considered my father a very knowledgeable man.  He used to say he had seen many officials in the past, but never one like my father.  Common wisdom had it that 'there is no official who is not corrupt," but my father never abused his position, not even to look after the interests of his own family.

The two men would talk together for hours.  They shared many ethical values, but whereas my father's were dressed in the garb of an ideology, Dr.  Xia's rested on a humanitarian foundation.  Once Dr. Xia said to my father: "I think the Communists have done many good things. But you have killed too many people.  People who should not have been killed."

"Like who?"  my father asked.

"Those masters in the Society of Reason," which was the quasi-religious sect to which Dr.  Xia had belonged.  Its leaders had been executed as part of the campaign to 'suppress counterrevolution ari  The new regime suppressed all secret societies, because they commanded loyalties, and the Communists did not want divided loyalties.

"They were not bad people, and you should have let the Society be," Dr. Xia said.  There was a long pause.

My father tried to defend the Communists, saying that the struggle with the Kuomintang was a matter of life and death.

Dr.  Xia could tell that my father was not fully convinced himself, but felt he had to defend the Party.

When my grandmother left the hospital she came to live with my parents. My sister and her wet-nurse also moved in.  I shared a room with my wet-nurse, who had had her own baby twelve days before I was born and had taken the job because she desperately needed money.  Her husband, a manual worker, was in jail for gambling and dealing in opium, both of which had been outlawed by the Communists.  Yibin had been a major center of the opium trade, with an estimated 25,000 addicts, and opium had previously circulated as money.  Opium dealing had been closely linked to gangsters and provided a substantial portion of the Kuomintang's budget.  Within two years of coming to Yibin the Communists wiped out opium smoking.

There was no social security or unemployment benefit for someone in the position of my wet-nurse.  But when she came to us the state paid her salary, which she sent to her mother-in-law, who was looking after her baby.  My nurse was a tiny woman with fine skin, unusually big round eyes, and long exuberant hair, which she kept in a bun.

She was a very kind woman, and treated me like her own daughter.

Traditionally, square shoulders were regarded as unbecoming for girls, so my shoulders were bound tightly to make them grow into the required sloppy shape.  This made me bawl so loudly that my nurse would release my arms and shoulders, allowing me to wave at people who came to the house, and clutch them, which I liked doing from an early age.  My mother always attributed my outgoing character to the fact that she was happy when she was pregnant with me.

We were living in the old landlord's mansion where my father had his office; it had a big garden with Chinese pepper trees, banana groves, and lots of sweet-smelling flowers and subtropical plants, which were looked after by a gardener provided by the government.  My father grew his own tomatoes and chillies.  He enjoyed this work, but it was also one of his principles that a Communist official should perform physical labor, which had traditionally been looked down on by mandarins.

My father was very affectionate to me.  When I began to crawl, he would lie on his stomach to be my 'mountains," and I would climb up and down him.

Soon after I was born my father was promoted to become the governor of the Yibin region, the number-two man in the area, below only the first secretary of the Party.  (The Party and the government were formally distinct, but actually inseparable.)

When he had first returned to Yibin, his family and old friends all expected him to help them.  In China it was assumed that anyone in a powerful position would look after their relatives.  There was a well-known saying: "When a man gets power, even his chickens and dogs rise to heaven."  But my father felt that nepotism and favoritism were the slippery slope to corruption, which was the root of all the evils of the old China.  He also knew that the local people were watching him to see how the Communism would behave, and that what he did would influence how they regarded communism.

His strictness had already estranged him from his family.

One of his cousins had asked him for a recommendation for a job in the box office at a local cinema.  My father told him to go through the official channels.  Such behavior was unheard of, and after this no one ever asked him for a favor again.  Then something else happened soon after he was appointed governor.  One of his older brothers was a tea expert who worked in a tea marketing office.  The economy was doing well in the early 195os, production was expanding, and the local tea board wanted to promote him to manager.  All promotions above a certain level had to be cleared by my father.  When the recommendation landed on his desk, he vetoed it.  His family was incensed, and so was my mother.

"It's not you who is promoting him, it's his management!"  she exploded.

"You don't have to help him, but you don't have to block him either!" My father said that his brother was not capable enough and that he would not have been put forward for promotion if he had not been the governor's brother.  There was a long tradition of anticipating the wishes of one's superiors, he pointed out.

The tea management board was indignant because my father's action implied that their recommendation had ulterior motives.  My father ended up offending everyone, and his brother never spoke to him again.

But my father was unrepentant.  He was fighting his own crusade against the old ways, and he insisted on treating everyone by the same criteria.  But there was no objective standard for fairness, so he relied on his own instincts, bending over backward to be fair.  He did not consult his colleagues, partly because he knew that none of them would ever tell him that a relative of his was undeserving.

His personal moral crusade reached its zenith in 1953 when a civil service ranking system was instituted.  All officials and government employees were divided into twenty-six grades.  The pay of the lowest grade, Grade 26, was one-twentieth of that of the highest grade.  But the real difference lay in the subsidies and perks.  The system determined almost everything: from whether one's coat was made of expensive wool or cheap cotton to the size of one's apariment and whether it had an indoor toilet or not.

The grading also determined every official's access to information.  A very important part of the Chinese Communist system was that all information was not only very tightly controlled, but highly compartmentalized and rationed, not only to the general public who were told very little but also within the Party.