Read Wild Heat (Northern Fire) Online
Authors: Lucy Monroe
Okay, that made no sense and flew in the face of what he’d been saying. Only the absolute certainty in his voice brought her spiraling thoughts to a screeching halt. Not only did he believe what he said, but also he was right.
That sex had not been the result of pity; it hadn’t been
medicinal
. It had been earth-shattering.
And it was something else only she could give him right now. His rules meant no other locals could and he was going to be too busy with MacKinnon Bros. Tours to go into Anchorage anytime soon.
“So, what was the shower?” she mocked, wanting to push and reveling in the fact that with this man she
could
. “Payment on account so I’m obligated to eat dinner tonight?”
“The shower was a fantasy lived out in three-D Technicolor.”
Yeah, she’d kind of gotten that impression. “You liked it.”
“Not sure
like
is the right word for something that burned every rational thought from my mind and turned my legs into jelly.”
Okay, so she was a project. But she was also a woman who could give him pleasure he didn’t expect or know how to control.
Caitlin could work with that.
He moved in until she was pressed between him and the counter. “Look at me.”
He waited until she met his gaze.
All she saw in his chocolate brown depths was sincerity.
“I’m going to take care of you, Kitty. You can trust me not to lie to you, not to promise things I can’t or won’t give, and I make this promise: I won’t break you like he did.”
“O—” She cleared her throat and tried again. “Okay, but just so you know. I wouldn’t let you.”
His smile was almost too bright to look at. “Good.” He turned to go back into the bedroom, but stopped. “Kitty?”
“Yes?”
“You’ll eat tonight because you’re hungry, but if thinking about what we’re going to do later helps, then fantasize away.”
She threw the towel on the counter at him. “Arrogant jerk comes to mind.”
“If it makes you feel better, I’ll be thinking about it too. Don’t make me have to come home and jack off.”
Sexy
arrogant jerk.
* * *
Tack watched Kitty greet Gran MacKinnon, thanking her for the invitation to dinner. Though the invite had come from his mom via Tack, the Homestead was still technically Gran and Granddad MacKinnon’s. Kitty’s recognition of his gran’s status was just the right thing to do.
She fit in Cailkirn better than she thought she did. Always had.
When she turned and hugged his Inuit grandmother and greeted her with equal deference, something dormant came to life inside of Tack.
He turned away from the tableau that caused the strange feelings, determined not to let them take root.
It didn’t help that when Kitty had changed, she’d put on a pretty, figure-hugging blue dress. And her shoes were a good two inches higher than the more sensible heels she’d worn earlier, making her legs look about a mile long.
She’d done something with her eyes, too, making them seem bigger and the blue even brighter than usual. Her freckles weren’t as pronounced, like she’d put powder over them or something. Having her hair back in a braid enhanced the perfect oval of her face but took her from Kitty-sweet to Caitlin-chic.
He preferred her natural beauty, wild red hair, freckles, and all.
His fingers itched to undo her hair, letting the wild mass fluff around her face. If he could, he’d strip the dress off and reveal his wildcat underneath too. He was sure she hadn’t done anything to disguise the sweet cinnamon sprinkles over the upper swell of her breasts.
Contemplating her nakedness and what he’d like to do with it sent a montage of X-rated images through his mind.
“She looks better than she did at lunch,”
Aana
observed.
Tack nodded, trying not to choke on his thoughts. “She was a little stressed.”
Aana
frowned, concern darkening her eyes. “I didn’t mean to upset her.”
“I know,
Aana
, and so does she.” He reached down and put his arm around his diminutive mom’s shoulders. “Kitty’s just adjusting to being home. Cailkirn doesn’t offer the anonymity of the big city.”
“But surely that helps her to feel more protected and cared for.”
“Or smothered.” Hell, sometimes even he felt smothered and he loved their small town.
Aana
looked unconvinced. “Considering how badly that anonymous life in LA went for her, I’d think she would be glad to be home, surrounded by people who know and love her.”
“I am,” Kitty said, having heard at least part of their conversation.
She gave his mom a more genuine smile than anything she’d offered earlier.
As long as he didn’t let himself start thinking about things better left in the broken dreams of the past, having a casual sexual relationship with Kitty could be good for both of them.
He craved her body with an intensity he would have found impossible to ignore forever. Better to give into the desire while he still had some level of control. He would work through longings that needed to be relegated to the past and she could reconnect to the feisty, sensual woman who lived inside her.
Kitty pulled his
aana
from him and into a full body hug. “I’m so sorry for behaving like an idiot at lunch today. You are and have always been one of my very favorite people.”
Aana
blushed with pleasure. “Thank you, Caitlin. The feeling is mutual.”
Kitty let his mom go but didn’t try to establish a city-sized bubble of personal space around her. “Even after today?”
“Of course. Tack has reminded me that you need to get used to having people around who care about you.”
“I’m sure he’s right.” Kitty’s tone wasn’t as confident as her words.
She’d never really enjoyed the intrusive nature of small-town life, but she’d been more resigned to it in the past. She’d get there again. It was an adjustment for anyone used to the anonymity of city life. While the benefits of living in Cailkirn outweighed the faults, they still existed.
His mom didn’t seem to notice Kitty’s iffy sincerity. “I would like time to catch up with you away from all this hubbub.”
“I’d like that too.” Kitty didn’t even wince when she agreed.
Had her attitude changed so much, or was she hiding her real reaction?
“Good.”
Aana
was all smiles and motherly approval.
Kitty took a step back, an unconscious bid for distance he doubted
Aana
noticed either. “Gran and my aunts would be delighted if you’d join us for lunch Friday.”
That explained Kitty’s change of heart about sharing a meal with his mom. The Grant sisters would make a good buffer, more than willing to answer questions Kitty found difficult. Not only that, but they would also stop his mom from grilling her too intensely.
They were a wily group of women. And though they might not completely understand Kitty’s recovery needs, they were fiercely loyal and protective of their chick.
“I told Gran how poorly I’d behaved and that I wanted to invite you over to make up for it.”
Tack had chalked the half hour Kitty had taken to change her clothes up to her extra efforts with makeup and such. Apparently, she’d taken some time to speak with her gran, who had not joined him and Miss Elspeth in the parlor until just before Kitty came downstairs.
When Kitty had taken Miss Elspeth aside to talk quietly to before leaving with Tack, he’d assumed she was reminding the elderly woman about the dinner plans with his family.
A completely irrational urge to horn in on Friday’s lunch hit Tack. What if her family didn’t notice how stressed his mother’s probing made Kitty? What if they didn’t run interference like she so clearly believed they would?
He realized he’d gotten lost in his head when both
Aana
and Kitty stared at him expectantly.
“Sorry I missed that. What did you ask?” he directed his inquiry in their general direction, not knowing which woman had done the asking.
“I wondered if we should just invite you to join us right off, rather than have you come up with some excuse to stop by the Knit and Pearl at lunchtime on Friday.” His mother’s expression was too knowing.
The question was way too close to the thoughts running through his head. And there could be only one reason for that.
No
. No way in hell was she going to start thinking he and Kitty were headed toward being a couple. He had to nip this line of hopeful speculation in the bud.
“No,” he said louder than he’d meant to. “That won’t be necessary. I don’t usually forget my lunch.”
Both women appeared taken aback at his vehemence.
“I thought you’d jump at a chance to have Miss Elspeth’s cooking,” his mom said with a perplexed frown.
Oh. Oh shit. She hadn’t been thinking about him and Kitty at all.
“Even her cooking isn’t worth sitting through one of your gabfests.” He winked at Kitty. “I’m warning you, once those three get started solving the town’s problems, both real and imagined, even Miz Alma takes herself off. If
Aana
brings
Emaa
, it’ll be even worse.”
“I’ll take that under consideration.” Kitty’s joking tone and smile was more forced than before.
His mom slapped his arm. “That’s enough out of you.”
“You know it’s true.”
“Just for that I’m going to call Miss Elspeth tonight and ask if she won’t defrost some of her venison stew for our lunch,”
Aana
threatened.
“That’s fighting dirty.”
His mom put on her most innocent face. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Kitty laughed at them both, the sound too natural not to be sincere. “I’m sorry to mess with your revenge plans, Miss Malina, but I already asked Aunt Elspeth to make her summer vegetable soup.”
“It’s not summer yet.”
“Frozen vegetables work almost as well, though she won’t approve of me telling you that.” Kitty winked at his mom.
She was going to be just fine on Friday.
W
hen it came time to sit down to the table, Tack avoided the open spot beside Kitty. He was illogically sensitive to how things looked after his mix-up about what his mom might be thinking about him and Kitty. So, Tack elected to sit to the right of his cousin Cian.
Then Tack spent all of dinner regretting his cowardly move.
Him sitting next to the woman who used to be his best friend wouldn’t make his family start wondering if something was going on between them.
If he was going to manage a secret casual sexual relationship with Kitty Grant, he would have to work on the paranoid.
Thankfully, his
emaa’s
grilled salmon was perfect. Flaky and moist with the hint of the special herb rub she used and the smoke from the fire, it teased his appetite despite his frustrating thoughts.
Tack was happy to note that Kitty had divided her food and was eating steadily between bouts of conversation. She sat between his uncle, who didn’t add much more than a grunt here and there, and Shila.
Tack’s sister kept up a steady stream of conversation and Kitty didn’t seem to mind.
“Why aren’t you eating your dinner?” his mom asked Kitty when there was a lull in the competing voices at the table.
Wishing again that he’d taken that seat beside Kitty, Tack frowned at his mother warningly. “She’s eating just fine.”
Hadn’t his
aana
learned anything at lunch today?
“But she’s barely touched her food.”
“That will be enough, Malina. I’m sure your mother raised you better than to embarrass a guest at our table.” His gran nodded toward
Emaa
while chastising her daughter-in-law in a tone Tack had never had the courage to ignore.
“I did,”
Emaa
backed Gran up with a gently chiding look for his mom.
“I didn’t mean…”
Aana’s
voice trailed off.
He felt bad for her, but sometimes she took her fussing too far. She just always thought she knew what was best for everyone and had a tendency to act on that belief.
He’d been told he shared that particular trait.
“I just took too much food,” Kitty offered, and Tack hated that she felt the need to lie.
Gran winked at Kitty and exaggerated her Scots accent. “Dinna worry yourself, lass. We’ll put up your leftovers and you can have them for lunch tomorrow.”
Now that was his practical gran.
“Oh, that would be so kind,” Kitty said, sounding more emotional than the offer warranted.
Gran nodded as if that was the end of it, and Tack had no doubts it would be. There wasn’t a person at the table who would defy his gran when she had that expression on her face, not even Tack’s mom.
They had strawberry shortcake for dessert, made with his gran’s scones and berries frozen last summer. It had always been one of Kitty’s favorites.
Tack wondered which of the women who shared the Homestead’s kitchen had remembered that. He wasn’t surprised when he learned it had been his mother.
Her concern tilted toward consideration more often than intrusiveness.
Shila offered to split one of the desserts with Kitty, claiming she was too full for a whole one. Considering that his teenaged sister was self-conscious about her body, the offer might even have been genuine. Tack was pretty sure she’d made it for Kitty’s sake, too, though.
“You don’t mind sharing?” Kitty asked.
“No way. It’ll keep me out of trouble with Gran.” Shila gave Gran a suitably cowed expression, which earned her a mock glower. “She hates when the food from her garden goes to waste, much less her scones.”
Kitty smiled and accepted.
Shila allowed Kitty to divide the dessert in the bowl without comment and Tack knew his sister had seen Kitty’s food ritual for what it was. He wasn’t surprised. Not after what he’d learned about eating disorders.
A whopping eighty percent of people suffering from an eating disorder were teens. His sister had probably witnessed behavior like Kitty’s firsthand.
Tack’s eyes skimmed around the table to see how the rest of his family was taking the additional evidence that Kitty had a compulsive need to divide her food.
Most of the clan were too busy with their own dessert and conversation to even notice, but he saw a look of comprehension dawn over his mother’s sweet face. His gran didn’t appear surprised or critical.
Emaa
was nodding with approval.
Tack wasn’t sure of what, whether it was her granddaughter’s obvious sensitivity, her daughter’s belated discretion, or even Kitty’s food ritual.
* * *
When it came time to leave, Cian stepped up to Kitty. “You came in with Tack, yeah?”
“Yes?” Kitty asked rather than stated.
“I’ve got a mended nightstand to return to Miz Alma for the B and B,” Cian said like that was all that needed saying.
Used to his cousin’s more taciturn nature, Tack explained to Kitty, “He’s offering you a ride home so I don’t have to drive the opposite direction before heading home.”
“Oh, I…” Kitty looked up at Tack, uncertainty in her expression.
He shrugged. “Thanks, Cian. I appreciate it.”
Kitty’s eyes darkened with disappointment before she masked it, but there was nothing Tack could do about that. He didn’t see any way of going ahead with their plans to go back to his place without causing speculation among his family.
And if he took her aside to talk when they’d be seeing each other at work tomorrow morning, it would be just as suspect. He only hoped she realized that.
“Yes, thank you, Cian,” Kitty said in soft tones. “I didn’t mean to be an inconvenience for Tack. If I’d brought my tennis shoes, I could have walked back to the B and B. It’s only a few miles. I probably should have driven myself in the first place.”
Well, crap.
From anyone else, he’d know she was being overly polite and expected to be contradicted. Kitty, however, had always been stubborn. She
would
have walked the six miles between the MacKinnon Homestead and the Knit & Pearl rather than put anyone out.
Her claim she should have just driven herself was a direct reprimand to Tack. He knew her well enough to know she was implying that if it was so inconvenient to take her back to her home after they had sex, he shouldn’t have made plans to do it in the first place.
He spit an epithet out under his breath.
Kitty ignored him.
“My truck’s the dark blue F150 with a hard-shell.” Cian turned and went out the front door.
The fact that he’d given Tack and Kitty a minute alone indicated Cian had felt the underlying tension in Kitty’s words, even if he didn’t know what it meant. He’d probably heard his cousin swear too.
“I’d better get my leftovers. See you tomorrow, Tack.” Kitty pivoted and headed toward the kitchen without another word.
And then she was gone, leaving Tack standing there feeling like an idiot for more than one reason.
First, he’d pissed Kitty off, which meant he’d hurt her. That made him feel like a pile of steaming moose dung. Second, he craved her body with the desperation of an addict. He’d been sporting wood all night because of what he knew was coming later. He’d never been so grateful for the cover of a table.
And he’d given up his chance for satisfaction without a second thought.
Before
accepting Cian’s offer on Kitty’s behalf.
He
was
an idiot.
“Something wrong, brother dear?” Shila smirked up at him knowingly.
He frowned down at her. “Why would you ask that?”
“Um, because you look like a grizzly with a sore paw.”
“What is it with my family always comparing me to a bear?” So his name meant grizzly bear; they didn’t need to harp on it all the time.
“Maybe because you act like one?” Shila asked sweetly.
And there was only one way his mood was going to improve. Making a decision that had nothing to do with his sister’s teasing, Tack spun on his heel and headed out the front door.
He didn’t bother saying good-bye to Shila or take time to wish his family good night. He’d catch hell from his mom and grandmothers for it later, maybe even his da, but Tack had something he needed to do.
* * *
Caitlin went out the back door in search of Cian’s truck, equal parts irritated and hurt. She’d thought Tack was looking forward to making love again later as much as she was.
Discovering he couldn’t even be bothered to turn down his cousin’s offer of a ride for Caitlin was more than a little demoralizing. Seriously, how hard could that have been?
She came to a stop in the leveled gravel parking area next to the old family home; no sign of a dark blue truck with a hard-shell was in evidence. While the sky was cloudy as usual, the sun wouldn’t set until after ten. So there was plenty of light to see by.
The F150 and Cian were both gone.
Nonplussed, Caitlin turned in a circle as if that would somehow reveal her ride home. Had he pulled around to the front of the house, thinking she’d leave through the “company” door?
“I sent him on his way,” Tack said as he stepped out from behind his truck, his dark gaze fixed on her.
She kept her distance, not taking anything for granted. “Why?”
“We had plans.”
“They didn’t seem all that important to you inside.”
“Cian’s offer blindsided me.”
“He wasn’t asking for your left kidney. He didn’t even actually offer me the ride home. You did that for him.” She did nothing to hide her irritation at that fact.
“He told you he was taking a delivery to your aunt.”
“So?”
Tack sighed. “If I turned him down, everyone would wonder why.”
“They didn’t used to.” Tack and she had been inseparable right up until she pushed him away. “No one cared.”
Neither of their families had made a big deal of it back then. But then, they’d been best friends for a long time.
“You really believe that?”
She frowned. “Yes.”
He shook his head. Like she was deluded.
Maybe she had been.
“My family, and yours, too, thought you’d get your wanderlust out of your system going to college in California. They figured we’d come back to Cailkirn, get married, and have lots of Grant-MacKinnon babies.”
“They did?” Her gran and aunts had never even hinted at that. “No, they couldn’t have.”
She’d been so adamant she wasn’t spending the rest of her life in the small backwater town of Cailkirn, Alaska.
He nodded with a harsh jerk of his head. “We all had dreams we had to let go of, Kitty. The loss of that dream hurt my family. It hurt your gran and your aunts, though I’m not sure Miss Elspeth ever gave up hope of you coming home.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You weren’t responsible for the hopes of other people. It wasn’t your fault you didn’t love me. It took me a while to realize that, but you can’t dictate feelings.”
He’d be surprised how false his belief was. Caitlin had refused to let herself love Tack and she’d managed to marry another man.
“You don’t want to build up their hopes again,” she surmised, realizing at the same time that neither did she.
The knowledge she’d hurt others more than she’d ever been aware didn’t sit well with Caitlin and she had no desire to do so again.
“There’s no reason to allow false expectations to develop. They will only end up hurting the ones who indulge in them.”
Was he warning her? Telling her if she got her hopes up, they were bound to be dashed?
“But you sent Cian away.”
“He’s not just my cousin. Cian’s one of my closest friends. I trust him.”
Like Tack no longer trusted Caitlin.
“You don’t think he’ll mention that he didn’t end up driving me home after all?”
“I asked him not to.”
“Oh.” Which meant what?
“I explained about our arrangement.”
“You told him you’re having sex with me so I’ll eat?” Did Cian find that as strange as Caitlin did?
“Of course not.”
Relief coursed through Caitlin. She hadn’t really liked the idea of Tack telling Cian about that. She was healing, darn it. She’d like to be seen as the competent woman she’d worked so hard to become again. “What
did
you tell him?”
“That we’re both adults. You’re divorced, not some innocent. He knows I’m not ready to settle down. The sexual attraction between us isn’t going anywhere. For right now we’re enjoying it.”
“He was okay with that?”
“Why wouldn’t he be? This may be small-town Alaska, but casual sex happens here too.”
“So you told me.” And she didn’t like thinking about that in relation to Taqukaq MacKinnon.
“Cian was worried I was setting myself up for a fall like eight years ago,” Tack added in a tone that said how ludicrous such a concern was.
“I’m sure you set him straight.”
“Yeah.”
“So, you’re taking me home?”
“After.”
The banked embers of desire burst into flame inside her just like that. “After.”
* * *
Caitlin pulled up in front of Nik Vasov’s restored Victorian home at the north of town. She’d come to Cailkirn determined to get her own life together and avoid complications, even friendship.
After accepting that she wanted to be Tack’s friend again, Caitlin had recognized the truth that avoiding relationships wasn’t going to get her where she wanted to be anyway.
A strong and healthy woman with a normal life.
It hadn’t taken her long to realize someone else needed a friend and that was Savannah Vasov. Whatever was going on between her and Nik, she could do with a friendly face.
And Caitlin was going to offer that.
She climbed out of her gran’s ten-year-old Subaru, the dark green paint as pristine as when it had been driven off the lot. Of course, gran kept the little hatchback garaged and had had it repainted twice.
Caitlin rang the doorbell and waited on the veranda for someone to answer.
Someone fumbled with the lock and then the door swung wide. Joey grinned up at her, his eyes round with surprise. “Hi, Miss Grant.” He yelled over his shoulder. “Mama, it’s the nice lady from the plane.”
Savannah came rushing up, a look of panic on her face. “Joey! You know you aren’t supposed to answer the door.”