Wild Bear (10 page)

No one else could ever give her pleasure like this.

She was sure of it.

But she still needed to know if he could give her more than pleasure. She needed to know if he could return her love.

A
s they cleaned
up and got into bed to snuggle, Maverick thought about what Harmony had said.

Love.

He supposed it was normal for humans to say that, but it still struck him straight to the core. He’d always thought he was immune to such things.

He felt a little bad that he couldn’t say it back to her.

But he couldn’t.

Bears didn’t feel love like that. His mom had proved that. Bears only felt anything for their mates. Their fated mates. And that was how he felt about Harmony, and that would never change.

He hoped that could be enough.

She cuddled against him, warm and thrumming with pleasure. He smoothed a hand over her middle, loving the soft feel of it, wondering how she’d look with young in her belly.

She’d surprised him tonight. Watching her sucking him had been hot as hell, but the thought of coming in her mouth wasn’t nearly as sexy as the thought of coming inside her.

He wanted to be respectful. And he wanted her to come first. It was his job as a male to keep the female happy. Still, he wouldn’t protest if she wanted to do that again. He’d gotten an amazing view of her body, her breasts, and it really had felt incredible.

He just liked pleasuring her best.

Sucking at her wet heat had been amazing. So amazing he was still replaying it all in his mind. The hot sex, the way she felt beneath him, the look in her eyes as she came.

He growled with contentment, and she rolled over to look at him.

“You okay?” she asked.

“Better than okay,” he said. “I’m great.”

“Good,” she said, stroking a finger over his chest. “Um, are you okay with what I said?”

He was quiet while he thought about it. “I guess so. I wouldn’t tell you how to feel.”

She smoothed her hand over his skin, making him light up inside. He almost wished he was ready for a round two, but he knew both of them were exhausted.

“I just… I don’t know. When I was out on the trail with you today, it felt like something had changed,” she said hesitantly.

“What do you mean?” he asked, sitting up. “What changed?”

She sat up with him, her eyes looking confused and slightly hurt. “I mean our arrangement.”

“Oh,” he said. He had the feeling he needed to tread carefully, but he didn’t know what to do. He felt like they were right where he wanted them to be. She cared for him, and he doubted she could leave if she said she loved him. And the sex was amazing.

Maybe she meant their arrangement had changed in a good way?

“I’m not sure what you mean,” he admitted, hoping she would take the lead on this one.

She pulled away from him slightly and put a hand up to tuck a few wayward curls back into their pins. “I mean your feelings. Have your feelings changed? Like mine?”

It clicked. She loved him. Now she wanted to hear he loved her. But that wasn’t possible. Not for a bear.

What he felt for her was better than love. It was the highest feeling a shifter could have. He’d give his life for her without a second thought.

But somehow, he felt that wouldn’t do. Somehow, he felt she would run if he couldn’t give her that feeling she wanted. Love.

But to admit that would be to admit his mother, or someone, should have loved him and didn’t. Otherwise, it wasn’t normal to be left in a forest to fend for oneself.

He’d always told himself it was fine. Bears didn’t feel that way. Shifters didn’t feel that way. He didn’t feel that way.

He couldn’t change that now, even if she was looking at him like their future depended on it.

He had to help her see it didn’t matter what they called it. She was his mate.

“You’re my mate,” he said hesitantly. “I… that hasn’t changed.”

Her eyes blinked, and to his shock, he saw tears glittering in their dark depths. She looked surprised by them as well and let out a soft, “Oh,” as she touched her cheeks.

Then she gave him a small, fake smile as she wiped them away, turning to give him her back. “I see. Well, that’s fine.”

“It is?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said. “It’s what I need to go back to New York.”

He lunged forward on the bed. “You aren’t leaving.” He gently took her shoulders and turned her to face him. For some reason, his sassy, strong mate looked vulnerable. Sad. He hated that.

He hated even more the idea that she’d leave him.

“I don’t know why you’d want me to change,” he said. “I wanted to mate you then, and I want to mate you now. I told you I couldn’t do anything else.”

She shrugged and wiped away tears angrily. “I know. I’m so stupid. I thought if I was going to fall in love with you, maybe you’d fall in love with me too. Now I see I’m an idiot.”

Now Maverick was just really confused. “This is who I am. This is the only way I know how to care.”

“I get it,” she said, shoving him away with one hand. “Now go.”

“It’s my cabin,” he protested, more because he wanted to stay with her than anything.

“Fine, I’ll go,” she said, getting up off the bed despite his attempts to stop her and angrily gathering up her clothes.

“So I couldn’t be what you wanted, and you’re just going to leave me,” he said, feeling cold wash over him as a familiar feeling of terror flooded his system. It was just like before. He’d done everything he could and he was still going to be left.

Adrenaline flooded him, and he sat back on the bed, nearly in shock.

“I think it’s for the best,” she said, but she was still gasping back sobs. “I think if I stayed, we’d only hurt each other. We aren’t on the same page. We aren’t even in the same world.”

Maverick knew that. But he’d wanted to reach across, join her in hers. He should have known he couldn’t do it all the way. That he’d never be enough.

He felt his heart closing up even as his bear roared for his mate. He looked up at her as she was nearly dressed and made one last plea. “Stay,” he said. “Just tonight. Stay. We’ll talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” she said. “I can’t live with a man who doesn’t love me. Not when I love him. And you’re saying you never will.”

“I’m saying I don’t see why it’s important!” he said. “You’re my mate. You’re the one for me.”

“Then why can’t you love me?” she asked, pausing in the doorway, giving him one last chance to say what she needed him to say.

He tried, opened his mouth and closed it in frustration. He put his hands in his hair and pulled at it painfully as he lowered his head.

“I just can’t,” he said in a defeated voice.

She walked forward, gave him a soft kiss on the forehead, wet with tears, and then walked to the door before turning back. “I do love you, Maverick. That won’t change. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep to our agreement. I’m sorry it all got awkward. But I won’t forget this. It was amazing.”

“Wait—” he said, feeling desperate.

“Good-bye, Maverick,” she said. “Please leave me alone until I go. I don’t want to see you.”

Then she was gone, out the door, and the house felt unbearably empty. Maverick lunged for his clothes, throwing them on and running for the door. But she was already jogging away, her back to him as she headed for the lodge.

He was alone. Again.

He let out a howl of pain into the night as his bear tore out of his skin.

Then he ran up into the mountains to grieve.

T
he next morning
, Harmony was still reeling from Maverick’s confession. Or rather, his lack thereof. She teetered between emotionally crushed and vehemently angry with the stubborn man that rocked her world but continued to insist he was somehow not a part of it. 

An hour or so ago, her friends had stopped by to say hi and see what was up, inviting her to a picnic brunch they’d planned while their husbands were working, but she hadn’t been in the mood to tell them everything about Maverick just yet. It was still all too raw, too soon. And even though it wasn’t their fault, it was hard to be the odd one out in their little group. 

Bonnie and Ruby, happily married to responsible, loving McAllister men. And then there was Harmony, falling in love with a man who could never reciprocate those feelings. A man as untamed as the wilderness surrounding the ranch itself.

Having declined the brunch invite, Harmony had spent the morning pacing furiously along the small paths winding around the lodge. She hadn’t seen nor heard from Maverick last night, and though part of her still wished he would come around, mostly she was just grateful to not have to worry about getting her heart broken all over again. 

As her angry walk made a curve onto the front porch of the main entrance to the lodge, she almost bumped into a tall man wearing a black felt Stetson who presumably was on his way into the building.

“Morning. Where are you off to… Harmony, was it?” 

Harmony stopped abruptly to look up from her reverie, annoyed at the interruption, and was greeted by a pair of striking gold eyes belonging to a large, classically handsome man. He was cleanly shaven, and under the hat, she could see medium-length locks of golden-blond hair. 

“I’m sorry. Have we met?” she asked.

“I guess we haven’t. My apologies. The name’s Wyatt. I’m the owner of the Star Fifty Ranch a few miles from here. The McAllisters and I go way back, but I was just stopping in to talk shop with Shane,” he said. His voice was cool and refined, more akin to someone from the city than the kind of folks Harmony had come across out here.

So this was Wyatt? Harmony gave him a quick handshake, but her anger at the mention of the McAllister name only called Maverick into memory.

“Something bothering you? It doesn’t have to do with Mav, does it?” Wyatt asked, folding his arms and raising an eyebrow at the fuming Harmony.

She didn’t know how to respond. Earlier this morning, she’d been persistent enough to blow off her best friends because she wasn’t in the mood to discuss it. She knew they meant well, but at the same time, she wasn’t sure they really knew the same Mav she’d come to know. So their advice, though hopeful, would probably have only made her more lonely and sad.

Whereas Wyatt, from the mention of his name here and there, had presumably known Maverick a long time and had dealt with the frustration of being around him as well, albeit not romantically. 

While she stood there thinking, Wyatt spoke up. “You have the look of someone that could use a drink,” he said, eyeing her with sympathy.

A drink sounded better than anything else did at the moment. Right now, she needed something to calm her nerves a bit or she’d go crazy thinking about her failed attempt at a relationship with Maverick. 

“Sure,” she said coyly, assuming if the McAllisters trusted this man, then she probably could too.

“Great, I’ll take you back to the lodge. We have a bar there. Drinks are on me,” he offered cordially.

“Okay,” she said, pulling out her phone to text her girlfriends where she was going and then sticking in back in the pocket of her dark skinny jeans.

“I’ll let them know where you’ll be so they won’t think I’ve gone abducting you,” he said with a chuckle to himself. Wyatt rapped on the front door, opened it, and then called inside. “Hey, Shane, Harmony’s coming over to the Fifty Star for a drink. She’ll be back in a while.”

Inside, Harmony heard Shane call “All right,” and then Wyatt walked down the wooden step of the lodge toward what was likely his truck, a large black vehicle that stood intimidatingly high. He came to the passenger door and opened it for her, showing her where to grab so she could climb inside, then got in himself and pulled away from Bear Haven’s lodge.

She felt conflicted about leaving, even if only for an hour or two. It was a relief to be away from everyone else for a while, but her mind still wandered to Maverick, wondering what he was doing at the moment. 

To pass the time on the way down, Wyatt regaled Harmony with funny stories of when he and Mav were younger and the untold mischief they got into out in the woods. Once or twice, Harmony even laughed at the ridiculousness, amused at how feral he seemed to be as a kid, further supporting her experiences thus far with him and his struggle with being civilized. It was clear Wyatt was as classy as he was successful in the way he spoke and his demeanor, but it only made Harmony long deeper inside her soul for the wild man that had somehow claimed her heart.

When they pulled up to what was presumably the main lodge at the Fifty Star, Harmony was feeling a touch less angry. But in its place, sadness was creeping in. 

Wyatt led her into the main lobby, which was lavishly decorated with an almost overpowering western motif, and down a few hallways to a cozy bar nestled in the corner of the building. He turned on the lights and motioned for Harmony to sit while he lifted the swinging bar door to grab a bottle of something that looked strong. He came back around as Harmony had just found a stool and pulled a seat up near to her. Close enough for a friendly chat, but not awkwardly close.

“So you and Maverick, huh? I guess it was some weird kind of fate that brought the three of you out to the McAllister ranch,” he said curiously while he popped open the bottle and poured a shot for her and a double for himself.

“Don’t you have a ranch to run?” Harmony poked, eyeing the liquor. 

“It’s getting pretty slow this time of year, and the ranch almost runs itself these days,” he said, tipping the small glass and downing it in one gulp. “Plus, it takes a whole lot more than a couple shots to get me drunk. Just ask Mav.”

Harmony sighed and took a sip. It was strong but also sweet, with a hint of something burnt that reminded her of toffee. 

“Well, if it was fate, fate has a weird way of doing things,” Harmony said to herself.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean he doesn’t want me,” she said a little louder, the words stinging even as they left her own lips.

Wyatt turned to her and raised one dark eyebrow questioningly, as if he knew some sort of intimate detail but wasn’t going to say it out loud. 

“Is that so?” he mused.

“Yes,” she said. Now that it was coming out, she didn’t want to stop, even if this man was more or a less a stranger. Maybe
because
he was a stranger, it was easier to admit, like telling a secret to a random person in a bar or at a party. “I didn’t think I’d do it. Didn’t think I’d fall for that stupid man. But then I did. And when I told him I loved him, he didn’t say it back.” Tiny tears of anger welled in the corners of her eyes.