Who Do I Lean On? (43 page)

I laid a hand on Philip's leg covered by the thin blankets. “Philip? I'm still here. But I can't answer you right now. I need time to think . . . and pray.”

He turned his head toward me and his tortured eyes met mine. He nodded slowly. “I know.”

I finally left the hospital late that afternoon, after Philip's parents arrived. They hadn't been able to get a direct flight to Chicago and had to wait for a connecting flight in New York. Marlene Fairbanks had rushed into the room crying, “Oh, my poor baby. Who did this to you?!” ignoring me completely.

I'd greeted Mike Fairbanks briefly, gathered up my things, and slipped out as unobtrusively as possible. As I walked to my car in the parking garage, I felt as if someone pulled a plug from the bottom of my feet and all my energy drained out. I couldn't wait to get home, crawl into my bed, and take a long nap.

Except . . . I'd promised P.J. and Paul I'd bring them back to the hospital this evening after their grandparents arrived. They'd called that morning, wanting to spend the day hanging out at the hospital, but I'd told them their dad had been taken to radiology for some tests and I didn't know how long it would be. “You can come this evening, I promise.”

Paul had seemed alarmed. “Nana and Grandad are coming all the way from Virginia? Dad's not going to die, is he?”

“No, no. Didn't you hear the doctor? Once his injuries heal, he'll be fine.”

“So why are they coming?”

“Because he's their son and they love him.” I thought about this and realized it was true. “If
you
lived in another city and got hurt, I'd come to see you in a heartbeat.”

“Oh.” I could almost hear Paul smile. “Okay. But I miss you, Mom. When are you coming home?”

Now, buddy. I'm on my way
.

Turning south on Sheridan Road after pulling out of the parking garage, my mind drifted to the way God's Spirit had spoken to me in that hospital room. And I realized I'd been right to tell Lee that my relationship with God and my decision to become a member of SouledOut did have everything to do with my relationship with him—and with Philip too. The second part of that promise in Proverbs was that if I kept on putting God
first
in the decisions I had to make, He
would
lead me in the right path.

That was His promise.

As tired as I was, a smile crept onto my face as I turned into my new neighborhood. In the thirty-five hours since I'd rushed out of the apartment Saturday morning, the six-flat had surely gone through a transformation. Josh and Edesa and little Gracie would be settling in on the third floor . . . Precious and Tanya and their children would be right across the hall . . . and when Sabrina delivered, there'd be a new baby to fuss over!

And that was only the beginning. In the next several months, the other tenants would move out and more Manna House moms would be assigned to the House of Hope so they could create a home for their children . . .

“Oh, Jesus,” I murmured aloud. “What have we started here?” I knew I was in over my head—waaay over—but a sense of excitement and expectancy pushed my weariness aside and I hiked up my speed a few notches, eager to get home and see the beginning of the dream come true.

As I turned the corner onto my street, I saw a cluster of people gathered outside the six-flat, some standing or sitting on the steps, others on the flat concrete “arms” that hugged the steps leading up to the front door. What was going on?

I pulled the Subaru into a parking space along the curb, sorting out faces. Jodi and Denny Baxter sat on the steps, holding their granddaughter Gracie . . . Josh and Edesa Baxter had their arms around each other, laughing about something with P.J. . . . oh my goodness, there was Harry Bentley and his grandson . . . couldn't miss Estelle, sitting on the “arm” in her latest homemade caftan, braiding Sabrina's hair . . . and Mabel Turner, of all people, talking with Precious and Tanya . . . and was that Lucy Tucker?! The elderly woman sat like a boulder in the middle of the steps while Paul and Tanya's Sammy chased a yellow dog in circles around her . . .

Paul spotted me first. “There she is!” he yelled, galloping toward the car, Dandy fast on his heels, tongue lolling.

I climbed out of the Subaru laughing as Paul grabbed my hand and started pulling me up the walk toward the building, while the rest of the crowd started clapping and cheering. “Look up, Mom! Look up!”

“Look up where?” I said . . . and then I saw it.

A large, curved wooden sign had been fitted over the stone arch above the doorway of the six-flat. In twelve-inch high wooden letters, it said . . .

HOUSE OF HOPE

Tears sprang to my eyes. “Who . . . ? How . . . ?” I gasped.

Jodi Baxter came to my side and slipped her arm through mine as I stood looking up. “Denny and Josh made it—been working on it a couple of weeks. I tried to get them to call it The Yada Yada House of Hope—to remind the moms who come to live here that God knows everything about them, like Psalm 139 says—but I was voted down. ‘Three words is enough!' Denny told me.” She shrugged and laughed. “That's okay.
We
know it's a ‘yada yada' thing, don't we, Gabby?”

“Hey!” Lucy yelled from the steps. “Ya gonna stand there all day? Some of us got stuff to do, places to go!”

The people around her cracked up. “She's right!” Precious waved me in. “Come on! See what the House of Hope looks like from the inside, now that some of us be livin' in hope again!”

With Paul hanging on one hand and Jodi on the other, I moved through the grinning crowd of friends and family, up the broad steps and through the front door that Harry Bentley— ex-doorman but never ex-friend—held open for me.

And I knew I was coming home.

reading group guide

1. In chapter 6, Gabby's lawyer, Lee Boyer, tells her the House of Hope idea, while noble, doesn't seem like a wise use of her inheritance money while she's in the middle of a custody case and possible divorce. What do you think—is she being impetuous? Acting in faith? How can we tell the difference in our own lives?

2. In the same chapter, Mabel Turner says, “If this [House of Hope] is God's idea, then it's going to happen. God's timing is perfect. You don't have to rush it.” How do we know when something is “God's idea”? If we run into roadblocks, how do we know when that's the work of Satan trying to stop it and we should press on—or God allowing circumstances to show us it's
our
idea, not His?

3. In chapter 17, what did Mabel mean when she says it's not enough to “believe in God,” you have to
“believe God
”? What would it mean for you to
believe God
for something in your life situation today?

4. Do you think Gabby contributed to the downfall of her marriage as Mabel suggested in chapter 18? Why or why not? Why does Gabby have such a difficult time hearing what Mabel said? How do you understand Mabel's apology in chapter 23? Do you think “taking responsibility” for mutual problems in a marriage helps or hinders when one is dealing with emotional abuse?

5. In chapter 27, Gabby offered one of the available apartments in the House of Hope to Josh and Edesa Baxter before talking it over with Precious and Tanya (to whom she'd already promised the two apartments). In what way was she “leaning on her own understanding” (see Prov. 3:5–6)? Now she's in a bind! . . . What are the implications for Josh and Edesa if she tells them they can't move in after all? For Tanya and Precious if they do? For Gabby either way?

6. Are you sometimes tempted to “run ahead of God” with
your
good ideas? What kind of pitfalls have you fallen into?

7. Gabby's solution to the above fiasco: “Suddenly it seemed simple: Just own up to my mistake. Start over.” How would Gabby's solution help in
your
situation?

8. Why do you think Gabby held back from telling her sons the stark, bald truth when P.J. implied that his mom was the one who “moved out” (chapter 28)? Do you agree with her reasoning for not vilifying Philip? How would you have responded in that instance?

9. Do you think Gabby did the right thing not making “a big honking deal” out of P.J.'s negative attitude toward Jermaine (chapter 32)? What is she hoping to accomplish? How would you handle a similar situation?

10. Gabby gradually changed her prayers from praying
about
Philip to praying
for
him. In chapter 33, she said, “It was hard to be angry with someone I was praying for.” Is there someone you're angry with right now? Have you thought about praying
for
this person (not just
about
him or her)? What would your prayer be for this person?

11. On her date with Lee Boyer in chapter 34, Gabby was starting to “sense God everywhere.” Has that happened to you? Where or when was the last time an experience or place made you actively aware of God or spiritual reality (outside of church or reading your Bible)?

12. When Gabby attended the Yada Yada Prayer Group in chapter 37, Chanda challenged her about her relationship with Lee while still married to Philip. What do you think about the way Avis handled the awkward situation? How would you have handled that situation? What do
you
think about Gabby's relationship with Lee?

13. After Philip is mugged and ends up in the hospital, do you believe he is sincere when he asks Gabby to forgive him? Why or why not? If you were Gabby, how would you have responded to the choice Lee presented to her at the hospital?

14. Do you think there is any hope for Gabby and Philip's marriage in the future? What would you like to see happen with Philip? With Lee? Why?

15. What are your thoughts and feelings about emotional abuse in marriage? How can sisters support one another when some form of emotional abuse takes place in a marriage? How can the church be more active in addressing this often hidden problem?

reading in 3-D

In this and the previous House of Hope novels, Gabby Fairbanks often depended on her friend Harry Bentley, but you've seen Harry only through Gabby's eyes and may not realize he is a retired Chicago cop who put himself on the line by blowing the whistle on a corrupt and dangerous colleague.

He and Estelle are “an item,” but have you been on a date with them?

He's raising his grandson, but why?

He saves Gabby's estranged husband from being shot, but how?

He's found faith through the Yada Yada Brothers' Bible study group, but can it carry him through the most frightening experience of his life?

The Yada Yada Brothers novels by Dave Jackson parallel Neta's House of Hope novels and represent a different kind of reading enjoyment, three-dimensional literature, if you will. It's something that only a husband and wife writing team could pull off. Each novel stands alone but takes place in the same time frame, same neighborhood, involving some of the same characters living through their own dramas and crises but interacting with and affecting one another . . . just the way it happens in real life.

This is why readers of
Harry Bentley's Second Chance
, the first Yada Yada Brothers novel say . . .

• “Got it, read it, loved it, will recommend it! Can't wait for the next book.”

• “I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the idea of parallel novels! This is absolutely amazing!”

• “
Harry Bentley's Second Chance
was just as exceptional as
Where Do I Go?
and the whole Yada Yada series.”

Enjoy the following Prologue to the second Yada Yada Brothers novel,
Harry Bentley's Second Sight
. It corresponds primarily to events in
Who Do I Lean On
? Neta's third book in her House of Hope series (the book you're holding in your hands), with a tiny peek ahead into Neta's fourth book,
Who Is My Shelter
?

An excerpt from
Harry Bentley's Second Sight