Authors: Tracy Brown
Tags: #Fiction, #General, #Sagas, #Coming of Age, #Urban, #African American, #Contemporary Women
Sunny and Jada’s friendship was fast becoming a blur of white lines laid out like a feast before them. Getting high together was something the two of them did almost daily. Their friendship was strengthened by the secret addiction they both dealt with. Their conversation on this evening was a long one, since they were both in extremely talkative moods. They hadn’t eaten a thing all day. And despite the fact that they had par-tied the night before until the wee hours of the morning, neither of them was sleepy.
Dorian and Born were working harder than ever, and spending more
time away from the women who loved them. Dorian had taken Born under his wing as a protege, and spent lots of time grooming him for the next level. And Born was an eager student, soaking up what Dorian taught him eagerly. So in the absence of the men they loved, Sunny and Jada had discovered the allure of New York City’s nightlife, and more often than not, they were out in the clubs together. They threw on designer outfits and their most beautiful jewelry, and painted the town red, night after night. They got high together, sharing what Sunny managed to take from Dorian on a regular basis.
Jada’s initial apprehension and regret over getting high appeared to be gone, and she indulged more and more often. Since he was with her less and less, Born didn’t notice the fact that Jada was sliding back to her old self, inch by inch.
At first she only got high when she was with Sunny. That was more than enough, since she saw Sunny several times a week. Born would be gone, and Dorian would be MIA, and the women would snort themselves into Utopia. But soon Jada was damn near fiendin’ to see her friend, knowing that she came with goodies in her bag of tricks. Not only would they get high whenever they got a chance to be away from their men, but Sunny always gave her some to take home with her. Jada had been humble, and modest, and respectfully declined at first. But as time wore on, she had caved in. She would bring it home and hide it. When the morning came, and Born was asleep, Jada would go into the bathroom and snort. She’d shower, change, and snort some more. By the time she finished making Born a big breakfast, he would be waking up, and she would be sobering up. He was none the wiser.
But when she crashed, she would be overcome with the blues. She would think about her mother during these times, how unimportant she felt that she and Ava were to their mother. She thought about how her mother had thrown her out in the streets and never looked back. Jada felt guilty about how she had betrayed her mother, guilty for fucking Mr. Charlie. She also felt guilty for sneaking and using behind Born’s back. She knew that he loved her, and that getting high again would be a deal breaker. When the pain of her past and the reality of her current state
got to be too much for Jada, she would disappear and get high once more. Then she felt better. So much better. Born noticed her mood swings, that she would be happy and upbeat one minute, and irritable the next. He attributed this to PMS, and ignored her when she got like that. He figured she just needed to see more of him.
This day the women got zooted, and had an animated conversation about love. They were “up” in every sense of the word, as they hung the expensive curtains and decorated Jada’s living room. They were fresh off a shopping spree, and they had some beautiful things to turn Jada’s new house into a home.
“Shit, Sunny!” Jada was way more energetic than usual. “I can’t believe I live in this house!” She looked around her, excited that Born was making moves on this level. The four-bedroom house in Randall Manor was everything Jada had ever hoped for. It had a full dining room, a huge living room, a patio, and a kitchen that was larger than any Jada could have dreamed of. The backyard was huge, and the thought of all the barbecues they’d have back there made Jada’s heart race.
Sunny smiled. “This house is gorgeous, Jada. You two are gonna be so happy here.” Sunny kept fixing her already perfect clothes.
Jada was swirling around in the middle of the floor, holding a plum-colored organza curtain panel. The fabric was exquisite, and Jada loved the feel of it. She finally stopped spinning, and was giddy from the dizziness she felt. She laughed and looked at Sunny. “We’re two lucky bitches,” she said. “We got some good men in our corner.”
Sunny nodded, but her expression was uninspired. “Yeah, we are. But don’t think shit is sweet, just because it looks that way.”
“Well, it seems like Dorian loves you a whole lot, and he’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy, am I wrong?” Jada was growing weary of Sunny’s cryptic complaints about life as a hustler’s wife.
Sunny shook her head no. “No. You’re not wrong. Dorian does love me. I love him, too. But I never get to see him. Being his lady means spending most of my time alone. That’s why he buys me nice things and beautiful homes. All I have, day in and day out, are all the things he buys me. He’s hardly ever around.” Sunny sniffed, a habit she picked up from
snorting blow so much. She took the curtain out of Jada’s hand, fearing that her friend would crumple the material before she got a chance to hang it up. “That shit gets hard after a while, and no amount of money can make up for that feeling. Hopefully, you never have to know what that’s like.”
Jada danced around to a song playing on the radio. She heard what Sunny was saying, but she was too happy to think about that now. Born was spending a lot of time away from her lately, but that was so that he could buy this house, the clothes, the cars. He was trying to keep Jada happy, and he was doing a great job. Sunny smiled, seeing her friend enjoy her high, for she, too, was feeling on top of the world. She liked Jada so much. It felt like she was her twin, who had been separated from her at birth, and she wanted to look out for her always. Sunny saw Jada as a little girl who thought she knew it all, but really had so very much to learn.
“You know Dorian swept me off my feet,” Sunny said, her legs crossed and her foot bobbing steadily. She had a sly smile gracing her face. “He swept my whole family right the fuck off their feet, too.”
Jada laughed, a little too loud, still being very extra. Sunny continued.
“I was seventeen when I met him. He was twenty-two. I loved him from the second I saw him. He was everything I wanted in a man. He was handsome, smart, funny. He had a nice car, his own place, and he dressed like a male model. He molded me into the woman he wanted me to be. He taught me how to live my life, how to think, how to make love to him and satisfy him. I became the perfect woman that he envisioned for himself. At first, it was me and him against the world, just like it is now for you and Born.” Sunny looked at Jada, meaningfully. “Then I got pushed aside like yesterday’s newspaper so that he could make even more money. Now I feel like we have all the money in the world, but I never see my baby anymore.”
Jada finally sat down. She was out of breath from dancing and moving around. “But Dorian loves you so much, Sunny. You can tell he does. When he’s around you—”
“Exactly!” Sunny interrupted.
“When
he’s around. That’s becoming
less and less often nowadays.” She listened to herself, and thought that she sounded ungrateful. “I mean, I really can’t complain, you know what I’m saying? The man takes damn good care of me.” Sunny lit a cigarette. “But, you know, I got some money of my own put away just in case.”
“Just in case what?” Jada asked, naively.
Sunny looked at her as if she’d asked a stupid question. “Just in case the muthafucka leaves, Jada. What you think?” She shook her head at how green Jada was. “What if the nigga would have fallen in love with Raquel? What if he kicked me to the curb for her? Don’t think for a second I don’t have my ‘just in case’ money ready for something like that. You can’t be too careful.” Sunny looked at Jada seriously. “You better have some change put away for a rainy day, too.” Sunny sounded like an older aunt, telling a young lady how to handle her new husband. “Always have your own, girl. I wish I would have went to modeling school, or went out to L.A. to try to get into acting. But I chose to be with Dorian because he took care of me. I was content to spend his money instead of making my own. He loved me, and he made me happy. Now I wish that this wasn’t all
his
shit that he can take away from me whenever he wants to. Nothing is worse than getting used to living the high life, and then being forced to go back to nothing. I’ve seen many females in this game get fucked over by the men they loved. They thought shit was always gonna be sweet. And when it happened, they weren’t prepared. They failed to plan. And when you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
Jada smiled at that. “So you got your plan all mapped out, huh?”
Sunny nodded. “Yup. I got my whole shit all figured out. I’m telling you, Jada. Look out for you first. You’ll be sorry if you don’t.”
Jada realized that she had never thought about it this way. She still couldn’t bring herself to believe that Born would ever leave her with nothing. Not Born. Not ever.
Sunny sighed. “But at the end of the day, whether it’s my money or his money, Dorian treats me like a queen. I realize that I’m a lucky woman. He takes care of everything.”
Jada looked at the ice on her fingers and at the expensive clothes Sunny wore, and nodded in agreement as Sunny continued.
“He takes care of all of us. He helped my parents keep their house when it was being foreclosed. Dorian paid for everything. He gave my brother a job working for him, and Reuben makes a lot of money with Dorian. My other brother, Ronny, he disagrees with the whole thing, and he always preaches about how Dorian is selling poison to people. But when his son—my nephew, Eddie—got arrested, it was Dorian’s drug money that got him out of jail. He’s bailed my family out of trouble on lots of occasions.”
Jada thought about what Sunny said. “Do you feel obligated to him because he helped your family out as much as he did?”
Sunny looked at her. “I’m not sure it’s that I feel obligated. I feel like I would do anything for him, because of all the things he’s done for me.” She paused. “I love him so much that sometimes it scares me, Jada.”
Jada listened, understanding love that fierce and powerful. She loved Born with all her heart and soul, and there wasn’t much that she wouldn’t do for him.
Sunny smiled, a pained, injured smile. “Raquel doesn’t know how much she gets to me.”
Jada frowned. “How has she been acting since the party?”
Sunny told Jada how Dorian had confronted Raquel at the apartment in Park Slope he kept her in. He had nearly choked the life out of Raquel, and had smacked her around something terrible for shooting at Sunny. Raquel swore that she had only fired into the air, but Dorian didn’t care. He wanted her to stay the hell away from Sunny from then on, and Raquel had been complying so far. She wasn’t allowed to come near the house that he and Sunny shared. He picked his son up and dropped him off, and kept the two women as far apart as possible.
“She’s putting on this act now.” Sunny’s face looked twisted, like she’d sucked on a lemon. “Lately, she’s been sweet as pie. All she’s doing is trying to win him over by being obedient. She hasn’t argued with him since that night, and he argued with her every damn day before that.” Sunny shook her head. “He thinks I’m overreacting. I told him that I know she ain’t changed, because she be giving me these evil faces when he ain’t looking. Then when I tell him about it, he says, ‘The bitch ain’t
doing shit to you, Sunny!’ He thinks I’m just exaggerating, or looking for something to be mad at. It gets to the point that sometimes I think I be hallucinating or paranoid. I wonder if it’s the coke or what?”
Jada laughed, and reluctantly Sunny did, too. They finished hanging the curtains and had a drink or two to celebrate the new digs. When Born was still not home at eleven o’clock, they decided to hit the club. Jada showered and changed into a pair of black jeans, a black cashmere turtleneck, and her brown Moschino fox fur jacket. She grabbed her new stiletto boots, and was ready to go. They headed to Brooklyn in Sunny’s midnight blue Jaguar. When they arrived at the house on Bergen Street in Cobble Hill, Jada entered Sunny’s home and sat downstairs in the living room while Sunny went upstairs and got dressed to go out. Jada watched
In Living Color
while Sunny took a steamy shower in her luxurious bathroom. She emerged in a pair of D&G jeans, a tight cream-colored sweater with matching boots, and the most beautiful fur that Jada had ever seen.
“Oh my God!” Jada yelled. “When did you get that coat? What kind of fur is that?” Jada stared at the beautiful fur jacket with a leather-looking material around the sleeve cuffs and the borders.
Sunny spun around to show Jada the detail. The waist-length jacket was the centerpiece of the whole outfit, accentuated by Sunny’s short, slicked-back hair and very little makeup. She wore gold feather earrings and a black coral choker on a gold chain. It looked incredible. “It’s a lynx with crocodile around the edges. Dorian bought it for me when we went up to Canada last January. The shit cost twenty grand! I’ve been waiting for the perfect night to wear it. Girl, I thought Dorian would take me out to show me off in it. Please! If I keep waiting for that, I’ll be fifty before I get to wear this jacket.” Jada saw the hurt Sunny felt behind that statement, but her friend quickly brushed it off. “I can’t wait to see them bitches at the club tonight hating on us. We’re both fabulous tonight!”
They knew they looked good as they left and drove to The Coco Lounge, one of Brooklyn’s best gathering places for the ghetto fabulous. After they arrived, and had parked the car, every man on the scene turned to look at the two stunning ladies strutting through in all their finery.
“Hey, sweet thang. Come let me holla at ya for a minute.”
“Look at all that ass in them jeans.”
“Yo, shorty!”
“Hey, light skin!”
“Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Can I walk with y’all?”
By the time they made it to the velvet rope, and Sunny had slithered up to the guy at the door, it seemed every eye was focused on them. Sunny approached the tall black man standing guard, and asked for P.J., the nigga who ran the joint, and who also happened to be one of Dorian’s peoples. A trio of sisters with long weaves and too-tight outfits started mouthing off.