White Chocolate Moments (33 page)

The timer sounded again, and wordlessly Arcineh took the cookies out. She put them in a container and cleaned up the mess. It felt good to put her hands in warm water as she was suddenly cold.

Her work done, she told her grandfather goodnight. She could tell he wanted to talk, but right now her heart was too confused to take anything in. She climbed into bed but didn't sleep for a long time. She lay looking at the ceiling, trying to understand what God wanted from her.

Please help me,
Gage prayed in his bed.
I want You in my life. I know now that I've been searching for You for a long time. Always restless, always searching, always thinking I just had to pour more of myself into

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Rugby. And Arcie,
Gage broke off, his heart so hurt he didn't know if he could handle it.
Please show Yourself to her. She needs You as I do. Don't take Sam and me and leave her, please, Lord God. Please.

Gage cried out to God until exhaustion swept over him. He didn't set the alarm, knowing he didn't have to be in early, but he still had a plan. As soon as he woke, he'd go see Arcineh. With the cell phone off, he would tell her everything Simon had said.

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Chapter Twenty-Two

"How about we run away today?" Sam was in Arcineh's room before 7:00, inviting her out.

"Where to?"

"I was thinking Galena. Quinn's house is on the way. We could stop and see the baby then and take back roads that eventually land in Galena'

"You don't have anything going on?"

"No, we'll just take off and come back when we're ready"

Arcineh was not going to pass that up. She showered and put herself together, ate a quick bowl of cereal, and went out the door with her grandfather 45 minutes later. She stared at Gage's house as they drove away, unaware that he was calling to talk to her not five minutes later.

"She's so much bigger:' Arcineh said, looking down at Megan in her grandfather's arms.

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"Eleven pounds at the doctor's office last Friday:' Quinn said, her eyes filled with adoration as she looked at her daughter.

"Did she cry when they weighed her?" Sam asked, remembering a long-ago session when Tiffany was a few months old.

"Like they were trying to kill her:' Quinn laughed. "Then she slept through the rest of it, completely worn out."

"Does she sleep at night?" Arcineh asked.

"Six hours is the longest she's made it. But it used to be four, so that's an improvement."

"Is she still crying before bed?" Sam asked, shifting her so Arcineh could take her.

"No. Whatever was bothering her is gone now:'

"She's smiling:' Arcineh said, staring down at the baby's adorable face.

"It's so fun when she does that:' Quinn said, seeing it all day these days.

"How are you?" Sam suddenly asked Quinn.

"I'm all right. Tayte doesn't want much to do with either of us, and that suits me fine right now. He just makes me cry when he comes anyway."

"He doesn't want to see Megan?" Arcineh asked.

"No:' Quinn's face was very sober. "His new girlfriend doesn't know about him having a baby, so he has to be careful:'

"I'm sorry, Quinn. You deserve better than that."

"I wish I had known then what I know now:' Quinn said. "Which is what?"

"That God had a plan. I never even gave God a thought. I was just trapped in my own shell of misery, fueled by my mother's misery, and never thought to look up."

"When did you realize?"

"When Grandpa changed. When he began to pray out loud at meals and was a different person. By then I was engaged to Tayte, a dream come true at the time, and I would never have broken it off, but

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we hadn't been married a month when I knew it was a mistake. Then Megan was on the way, and I caught him cheating and fell apart.

"Grandpa bought me the house here, but he told me in plain terms that I was destined to be miserable until I humbled myself before God:'

Arcineh looked at her grandfather. "Why have you never said that to me?"

"You're a different person. All Quinn could say was 'why me?' That's not the way you think or act. Your need to humble yourself to Christ is just as real, but the process is going to be different:'

"What would you say to me if you could say anything?"

"I'd say let yourself be loved by God. Stop fearing His rejection and being alone, and let Him be with you forever:"

Arcineh pulled the baby close and laid her cheek on Megan's tiny, soft head.

"You still love God, Quinn, even after all He's let you go through?"

"That's the reason I love Him. I was thinking about killing myself during the pregnancy--that's how much I thought I needed Tayte. I now know better."

Arcineh and Sam did not stay much longer, but something had softened in Arcineh's heart She kissed Megan's tiny head before giving her back and even hugged her cousin goodbye. She stayed dry-eyed but would not have managed that if she'd known that Quinn sobbed over the hug the minute they were out the door.

"Did God make white chocolate?" Arcineh asked when she'd let a few pieces melt in her mouth. They had found a place to lunch, and then Sam had spotted a chocolate shop.

"Well, He made whatever plant it comes from, and the minds that dreamed it up, so I think that qualifies as a yes:'

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"At times I think I could trust Him, and at other times I think I hate Him:'

"I'm sure He's used to that:'

Arcineh didn't comment, but Sam had more to say.

"I need you to know something, Arcie. This is all part of God's plan. Just like with Quinn and Tayte when the timing seemed to be all wrong, it's not a mistake that just when you and Gage were getting close, he understood his need for salvation:'

Arcineh looked at him.

"I've seen the way the two of you look at each other. You're falling in love with Gage, and I think he loves you in return, but you would both be miserable together in such disunity:'

Arcineh didn't comment, but she was thinking. They passed a sign for a rest stop just then, and Arcineh realized she needed to stop. Sam called home while Arcineh was inside.

"Gage has called here three times," Violet told him. "He wants to talk to both of you, but especially Arcie."

"I'll call him, and if you don't see us tonight, don't worry:' "All right, Sam. Take care of that girl:'

"Will do:'

Sam had Gage on the phone a moment later.

"Have you had your cell phone off?" Gage asked.

"Yes, and I don't think Arcie even brought hers. Listen, Gage, I had to do this. I want to hear your story, and I don't want to keep Arcie from you, but this girl's heart is so hurt. I have to make sure she knows I'm going to be here. You can't make that promise anymore:'

"I don't know when my heart has been so torn," Gage said. "I have peace for the first time in my life, Sam, real peace, but I might have to leave Arcineh behind, and that just about kills me:'

"I'm sure it does:'

"Don't let her get away, Sam:" Gage's voice dropped to a whisper. "Don't let her run from you again. Keep her close:'

"Pray for us," Sam said, not sure the younger man even knew how

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to do that at this point, but he had no time for more. Arcineh was returning to the car.

Arcineh woke in a hotel room she barely remembered noticing the night before. Sam was in the room next door. She lay looking around, wondering how many people had stayed in the room and how many more would stay.

"You know," she said quietly to God, wondering at this new awareness of Him. She knew she didn't understand exactly what had happened to Sam or Gage, but having God in her thoughts was turning out to be special. Pastor Simon's words slowly came back to her. "Do what Sam does. Listen to Sam."

"I'm doing that:' she said to God now, not feeling hateful or angry with Him at the moment.

The phone rang in the midst of this, and of course it was Sam. "Are you going to sleep all day?"

"I was awake," she said, but her voice still had a morning sound to it.

"Oh, you sound awake."

"Are you going to feed me?"

"I'm dressed and ready for breakfast. Well:' he amended, "I'm ready for breakfast."

"I need about 30 minutes. I'll meet you in the lobby."

Arcineh asking questions all the while, they made their way slowly toward home. Sam sensed a difference in her from the day before and asked her about it as they drove.

"I don't feel so angry right now. I keep realizing God is involved in things, and it's special, not threatening like it was."

"How so?"

"Well, I know that He knows all the names of everyone who stayed in my hotel room."

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"He knows their hearts and needs too: Sam added.

Arcineh looked at him. "He does, doesn't He?"

"Yes:'

"So He knows mine:'

"Yes."

"Then why can't I believe like you do, and Gage?"

"Who says you can't?"

Arcineh had to think about this. She had been under the impression that God was standing in her way, but maybe she was the one. "How humble would you say you are?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. I don't think I'm completely full of pride. Does that matter?"

"It takes humility to ask for help. It takes humility to admit you sin and need a Savior. Maybe that's where you need to start, by asking God to humble you so you can see your need for Him:'

To Sam's surprise, Arcineh bowed her head. His heart clenched with love and tenderness for her, his own heart praying.

"Grandpa: Arcineh suddenly said, her voice thick with tears. "I think I see what you mean:'

"About what?"

"I'm not humble:' She sniffed back tears. "I don't think I'm that bad, so why would I need a Savior? But I don't think God would agree with me:'

Just as soon as Sam could get off the road, he did. Sitting to the side of a quiet gas station, he shut off the engine and turned to Arcineh.

"Listen to me, Arcie. You're heart is overwhelmed right now. I will be honest and tell you that once you moved home, I had resigned myself to your not coming to church with me for a year or so, and here you came the second week, and again the third. You're learning so much right now, and it can be a lot to take in. God is patient, He'll be there for you:'

"But what if I'm not?" Arcineh asked, not even knowing where that came from. "My parents weren't planning to die, and suddenly they were gone:'

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Sam looked into her eyes and quietly agreed. "You're right. God is sovereign, though. This trip will go just as He has planned. If you know to settle this with God right now, you'd better do it:'

"How do I do that?" Arcineh asked, ready to sit there until she got this right.

"You repent. Agree with Him that your sin is separating you from Him and that you want that sin gone. You must believe that can only happen through the death of His Son and accept His gift of salvation. And you must give Him your life. You will no longer be your own. You must understand that. He'll help you through the difficulties, but you cannot come to God on your terms, only His:'

"Can I really go from not believing in God at all to seeing that He's everywhere? I mean, I don't know where this came from. I gave Jalaina such a hard time when she talked about God because it seemed that all He ever did was make her feel guilty."

"Your lack of belief, and rejecting Him from your life, are just two of the many sins He's willing to forgive:'

"Those
are
sins:' Arcineh suddenly said. "All this time my not believing was a

"As was mine:'

That aspect was clear to her for the first time. They didn't move the car for more than an hour, but for the first time the things Sam said made sense. Arcineh, overwhelmed by the change in her heart, prayed, her eyes wide open, looking up to tell God how much she needed Him and wanted to be saved.

The relief in saying this, in accepting God's Son and seeing her grandfather's tears, was more than she could handle. She could not stop crying and found relief only when she fell asleep. Sam didn't hurry them out of the gas station parking lot. He had to dry his own tears. But they were still far down the road before Arcineh woke up.

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"You've both been through a lot of changes this week:' Simon said to Gage and Arcineh at the same time. Sam was also in the pastor's office. "Sam can be a lot of help to you. Listen to him and keep track of your questions. Do you both have Bibles?"

Both Gage and Arcineh nodded; Sam had bought one for her that very day.

"I have some reading I want you to do, and did you tell me that the trial involving your business starts on Monday, Gage?" "Yes."