Wherever the Dandelion Falls (48 page)

I picked up my purse to go out and grab lunch in the middle of my workday. I usually treated myself to a sandwich and smoothie on Fridays, while the rest of the week I brought lunch from home and ate quietly in my office while reading a book.

I generally avoided walking by Turner's office unless I had to, but several times a day, I had to. I rarely looked in, and it was even more rare that he looked up to see who was passing by. But on that day, the two rare events collided, and I was caught in a conversation I didn't want to have.

"Montgomery!" he called after me as I made a beeline for the door.

Cringing, I turned back and put on a polite smile for my boss. "Yes?"

"Come sit down for a minute," he said, flipping a page over on the document he was reading and adjusting himself in his swiveling chair.

Annoyed that he was cutting into my lunch break, I took a breath and let out an inaudible sigh. I adjusted my skirt and sat down, not getting too comfortable.

"I don't know if I've taken the time to tell you that we appreciate your work here," he said, getting up and walking toward me, slow and intent like an animal stalking his prey. He towered over me and I regretted sitting down. Thankfully, he turned and took a seat in the chair adjacent to mine. "I've been mulling something over for a few days, and I wanted to get your input on it."

"Okay," I said, confused as to why he had chosen today to decide a woman's opinion mattered.

"We've been selected to be the recipients of a very prestigious grant. The Fordling Company; you've heard of them?"

Bluffing, I gave a subtle nod.

"Then you know how much emphasis they put into their diversity programs and ensuring all their projects have representative research teams."

Biting the inside of my lip, I raised my eyebrows in a neutral acknowledgement that Dr. Turner was boring me with his preamble.

"We're using the money they've allotted us to begin a two-year study of neurological stress in commuters. We're going to be looking at all variables of course, gender being one of them. We're hoping to start screening people in the coming months. The boys and I were shooting some ideas around, and we thought that maybe you'd like to be involved."

"In the study?" I asked. As soon as I said it, I felt stupid. Obviously I would be involved in the study. I worked at Turner Research. Turner Research was conducting the study.

Dr. Turner gave a belittling chuckle. "We were hoping you'd consider being a full author and take charge of screening potential participants. A friendly face people can associate with the project."

Surprised, I cleared my throat. "What would that entail?"

"A raise of thirty-thousand dollars a year and subsequent increase in your 401k matching plus an additional week's vacation. Maybe an assistant. Intern, at least."

The way he said it was so blunt and serious, I was stunned. I had been asking about the work, not the benefits.

But he was offering to almost double my salary and increase my benefits. I had never been more surprised by him.

Worried he was offering me a trojan horse, I started asking questions. "When would it start?"

"Few months," he said, giving a casual shrug.

"And who would I be working with?"

"Mostly myself and Novack. Harper is in too, but he's in charge of data review."

I swallowed. Did I want to work closer with Turner in exchange for more money?

"It'll look great on your résumé," Dr. Turner offered, smiling to entice me. "Not that we want you to be looking elsewhere," he said with a grin that was trying to be coy but fell short because he was so slimy.

He was offering me a real scientist job. He was offering me money and a title and my name as a full co-author of a study that would be printed in neuroscience journals and studied by students like I had been only eighteen months before. I wouldn't be crunching numbers in a stuffy little office anymore.

He must have sensed that I was hesitant, because he leaned back and said, "We can make you a formal offer if you'd be more comfortable with that."

Tucking my hands under my legs, I leaned forward and nodded. "I would," I said. "But it does sound like a great offer."

He gave a sudden clap, then rubbed his hands together. "Fabulous," he said, a bit too loud. "I'll draft it today and have it on your desk before you leave. And take an extra thirty for lunch if you like. Think it over." He rose and went back to his desk, sinking into his swiveling chair. "Good chat, Montgomery."

Nodding blankly as I rose, I echoed, "Good chat," and walked out of the office.

I wasn't sure why I didn't feel anything about being offered such a big promotion. Maybe it hadn't sunk in yet. Maybe telling someone would make it feel real. I decided to call Kimi and tell her. She had a great career she'd worked hard for, and last time we'd talked, she'd given me good advice. So I pulled out my phone and called her.

Given the time difference and the fact that she usually didn't answer her phone while she was at work, I was surprised when she answered, but also relieved.

"If it isn't my favorite bridesmaid," she said with a smile. "How are you?"

"Good," I said, trying to sound happy and excited. "Getting excited for the wedding?"

"I already have a planning binder," she said, giggling. That giggle made me adore my big sister more. She wasn't a giggly person, she was just happy to be marrying John.

"I'm surprised you haven't sent me a copy yet," I teased.

"Oh I will," she joked back. "What's up?"

"I have news," I said, knowing she'd be proud of me for being offered a promotion.

"Oh?"

"I was just heading out for lunch and my boss stopped me. He told me about a new project the company is taking on and asked me to be a full co-author of the study."

"Riley, that's amazing!" Kimi crowed. "I'm so proud of you!"

Her excitement only served to highlight my own lack of enthusiasm.

"Yeah," I said, noticing how dull my voice sounded.

There was a pause.

"You don't sound excited about it," Kimi said. I could almost hear the crease in her forehead as she frowned.

"I am," I said. But knowing Kimi didn't believe me, I decided I could tell her a little of what was bothering me. I couldn't outright say I hated my job, because Kimi wouldn't understand. So I said, "It's just not a perfect place to work. There are a lot of things I would change if I could."

Kimi hummed in understanding. "It's not easy, being a successful woman. All achievement comes with some sacrifice. Keep your eye on the prize, you know?"

Kimi had a point. Women often had to make sacrifices men didn't to make it in the workplace. It sucked, but it was a reality I couldn't change. "You're right," I said.

"Does the job come with a raise?" Kimi asked.

"Yeah, a big one," I said. "And an extra week's vacation and increased 401k matching."

"Good! You deserve it."

Feeling built up by Kimi's enthusiasm, I found myself smiling into the phone. I'd made my big sister proud, and that felt good. "Thanks," I said.

"How are you going to celebrate?" Kimi asked with a sense of urgency. "Women especially need to celebrate advances in their careers."

"I don't know. I have a date tonight, so I guess that will be my celebration."

"With Faye?" Kimi asked.

"Yeah," I said. "We talked to her and everything is good."

"Are you excited to be dating her?" Kimi asked.

I felt a smile spread through my whole chest at that. "I am," I said, feeling the truth of the words ground me. "She's a keeper."

"I'm so happy to hear that," Kimi cooed. "Are you bringing her to the wedding?"

I stumbled at that. I hadn't thought about who I would bring to my sister's wedding. That was far away. "I mean, it’s a year away, right?" I asked, buying myself time.

"Yeah," Kimi said. "I guess you haven't been dating her long enough to know."

I thought about what could happen over the course of the year I'd be helping Kimi plan her wedding. What would change? What would stay the same? Would I still be living with Justine? Still dating Faye? Still working for Turner?

As I thought about where I could be in a year, I realized that the idea of taking Faye to my sister's wedding was less scary than the possibility of still working for Turner.

"Anyway, congratulations," Kimi said, smile returning to her voice. "I've gotta go, but have fun with Faye tonight! Let me know how it goes."

Uplifted by the reminder that I'd be seeing Faye in just a few hours, I smiled. "I will. Love you!"

"Love you too."

Hanging up after receiving more praise and recognition than I ever had from my big sister, I should have felt overjoyed. But I felt no different. It was Friday afternoon and I was going to get my normal sandwich.

The only thing that wasn't normal was my date that night with Faye.

Faye and I met in the same coffee shop where she'd first interviewed me. I wondered if it was her way of having a fresh start after the debacle of our last encounter. I was a bundle of nerves waiting for, wondering why she'd called me after two months of silence and why she wanted to meet in person. It was unnerving to have so little control.

When I saw her walk in, she looked different. Still just as beautiful, but her feet didn't second-guess their steps and she didn't duck her head. There was still some skittishness in her eyes, like a loud noise could make her jump out of her skin, but there was a bravery shining through that looked good on her. Maybe getting engaged had given her a sense of security that gave her confidence.

The first thing I did was look at her hands. Was there a ring there? I spotted something silver, but I couldn't tell if it was an engagement ring. Which was her left hand and which her right? Before I could sort it out, she was too close, and I had to greet her.

I stood up from where I was sitting at the rickety table and smiled as she approached. I stepped toward her, not sure if a hug would be welcome. She seemed unsure, but we ended up hugging, giving each other a few awkward pats on the back. I was glad to see her again, glad to feel the way she strained up on her heels to perch her head on my shoulder, glad to know she wasn't completely done with me.

"How've you been?" she asked, her anxiety seeping into the furniture around us.

"I've been okay," I lied. "A little sluggish, but I'm alive. How are you?" I asked, eager to take myself out of the spotlight. I glanced at her hands once again and was relieved to see that neither hand had a ring on its ring finger. My stomach unclenched.

"Good," she said, brow creasing as she studied the grain of the table, as though she had to think about how she was for a moment, but the outcome was decidedly positive. "All things considered... I'd say I'm better than I ever imagined."

My heart sank, and I remembered she'd said yes to the proposal. My eyes flitted to her hand again, double-checking to make sure I'd seen correctly and she wasn't wearing a ring. She still wasn't, but maybe it was being resized.

Faye took a deep breath. "I made some substantial changes to my life," she said.

"Oh?" I asked, growing curious.

Faye nodded, biting her lip. "Isaiah and I broke up," she said, as though she knew I was desperate to hear. "He was pretty upset, but you were right. He saw it coming."

Even though I felt something flare up in my chest, I gave a brief pout of sympathy. "I'm sorry. That must have been hard."

She gave a little shrug. "He was my best friend, but..." She paused, sentence hanging in midair. "I wasn't in love with him."

Something released in my torso, and I realized I'd been clenching my stomach since she walked in. I didn't want to smile too bright or express happiness for Isaiah's loss.

"I could never be in love with him because…" She paused, lowering her voice to a whisper. "Because I'm pretty sure I'm gay."

I was stunned that she had said it out loud. My mind flashed back to our first meeting, how unsteady and unprepared she'd been for even the smallest unexpected thing, how deeply she relied on things familiar. And here she was, telling me she liked girls. Clearly I'd underestimated the courage she possessed. My jaw would have been on the floor if my smile hadn't been holding it up.