Where The Sidewalk Ends (6 page)

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Authors: Shel Silverstein

Tags: #Young Adult, #Humor, #Classic, #Poetry, #Fantasy, #Children

BOOK: Where The Sidewalk Ends
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With the wind in his hair

And the sun in his eyes.

We saw him swoop and bank and rise.

He brushed the treetops

And skimmed the grass

On Yerbey’s lawn and almost crashed

Right into Hansen’s silo-but

Zoomed up in time and almost hit

The courthouse. Old Man Cooley bit

Right through his napkin when he saw

A kid fly through the diner door-

And out of the window, tipping the ladder-

Where Smokey was painting, he almost had a

Heart attack-he clung to a rafter.

The kid flew on-

Us runnin’ after,

Cheering and sweating

And screaming, “Hooray!”

Mayor Lowry shouted, “Hey-

Come down here, kid. We’d like to say

How proud of you we are today.

Who ever thought our little

Town would have a hero in it?

So I’d like to proclaim this day-hey, kid!

Will you please come down for just a minute?”

But the flying kid did not come down.

He treaded air above the town.

Sort of cryin’ and looking down

At all of us here on the ground.

Then up he flew, up into the clouds.

Flapping and flying so far and high.

Out past the hills and into the sky

Until a tiny speck against the sun

Was all we could see of him … then he was gone.

BAND-AIDS

I have a Band-Aid on my finger.

One on my knee, and one on my nose.

One on my heel, and two on my shoulder.

Three on my elbow, and nine on my toes.

Two on my wrist, and one on my ankle.

One on my chin, and one on my thigh.

Four on my belly, and five on my bottom.

One on my forehead, and one on my eye.

One on my neck, and in case I might need ‘em

I have a box full of thirty-five more.

But oh! I do think it’s sort of a pity

I don’t have a cut or a sore!

DREADFUL

Someone ate the baby,

It’s rather sad to say.

Someone ate the baby

So she won’t be out to play.

We’ll never hear her whiney cry

Or have to feel if she is dry.

We’ll never hear her asking “Why?”

Someone ate the baby.

Someone ate the baby.

It’s absolutely clear

Someone ate the baby

‘Cause the baby isn’t here.

We’ll give away her toys and clothes.

We’ll never have to wipe her nose.

Dad says, “That’s the way it goes.”

Someone ate the baby.

Someone ate the baby.

What a frightful thing to eat!

Someone ate the baby

Though she wasn’t very sweet.

It was a heartless thing to do.

The policemen haven’t got a clue.

I simply can’t imagine who

Would go and (burp) eat the baby.

SKINNY

Skinny McGuinn

was so terribly thin

that while taking his bath

Sunday night,

out popped the plug

and sloosh-swoosh

and glug-glug

it washed Skinny

right down the drain

out of sight.

And where is our dear Skinny

bathing tonight?

In some underground pool

down below?

Or up there so high

in that tub in the sky

where all of the clean people go?

THE
LAND
OF
HAPPY

Have you been to The Land of Happy,

Where everyone’s happy all day,

Where they joke and they sing

Of the happiest things.

And everything’s jolly and gay?

There’s no one unhappy in Happy,

There’s laughter and smiles galore.

I have been to The Land of Happy-

What a bore!

PIRATE
CAPTAIN
JIM

“Walk the plank,” says Pirate Jim.

“But Captain Jim, I cannot swim.”

“Then you must steer us through the gale.”

“But Captain Jim, I cannot sail.”

“Then down with the galley slaves you go.”

“But Captain Jim, I cannot row.”

“Then you must be the pirate’s clerk.”

“But Captain Jim, I cannot work.”

“Then a pirate captain you must be.”

“Thank you, Jim,” says Captain Me.

FISH?

The little fish eats the tiny fish,

The big fish eats the little fish-

So only the biggest fish get fat.

Do you know any folks like that?

IF
THE
WORLD
WAS
CRAZY

If the world was crazy, you know what I’d eat?

A big slice of soup and a whole quart of meat,

A lemonade sandwich, and then I might try

Some roasted ice cream or a bicycle pie,

A nice notebook salad, an underwear roast,

An omelet of hats and some crisp cardboard toast,

A thick malted milk made from pencils and daisies.

And that’s what I’d eat if the world was crazy.

If the world was crazy, you know what I’d wear?

A chocolate suit and a tie of eclair,

Some marshmallow earmuffs, some licorice shoes.

And I’d read a paper of peppermint news.

I’d call the boys “Suzy” and I’d call the girls “Harry,”

I’d talk through my ears, and I always would carry

A paper umbrella for when it grew hazy

To keep in the rain, if the world was crazy.

If the world was crazy, you know what I’d do?

I’d walk on the ocean and swim in my shoe,

I’d fly through the ground and I’d skip through the air,

I’d run down the bathtub and bathe on the stair.

When I met somebody I’d say “G’bye, Joe,”

And when I was leaving-then I’d say “Hello.”

And the greatest of men would be silly and lazy

So I would be king … if the world was crazy.

STONE
TELLING

How do we tell if a window is open?

Just throw a stone at it.

Does it make a noise?

It doesn’t?

Well, it was open.

Now let’s try another…

CRASH!

It wasn’t!

CHESTER

Chester come to school and said,

“Durn, I growed another head.”

Teacher said,”It’s time you knowed

The word is ‘grew’ instead of ‘growed.’ ”

THE
SILVER
FISH

While fishing in the blue lagoon

I caught a lovely silver fish.

And he spoke to me. “My boy,” quoth he,

“Please set me free and I’ll grant your wish …

A kingdom of wisdom? A palace of gold?

Or all the goodies your fancies can hold?”

So I said, “OK,” and I threw him free.

And he swam away and he laughed at me

Whispering my foolish wish

Into a silent sea,

Today I caught that fish again.

That lovely silver prince of fishes,

And once again he offered me-

If I would only set him free-

Any one of a number of wonderful wishes….

He was delicious!

FORGOTTEN
LANGUAGE

Once I spoke the language of the flowers.

Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,

Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,

And shared a conversation with the housefly

in my bed.

Once I heard and answered all the questions

of the crickets.

And joined the crying of each falling dying

flake of snow.

Once I spoke the language of the flowers ….

How did it go?

How did it go?

THE
GENERALS

Said General Clay to General Gore,

“Oh must we fight this silly war?

To kill and die is such a bore.”

“I quite agree,” said General Gore.

Said General Gore to General Clay,

“We could go to the beach today

And have some ice cream on the way.”

“A grand idea,” said General Clay.

Said General Clay to General Gore,

“We’ll build sand castles on the shore.”

Said General Gore, “We’ll splash and play.

“Let’s leave right now,” said General Clay.

Said General Gore to General Clay,

“But what if the sea is closed today?

And what if the sand’s been blown away?”

“A dreadful thought,” said General Clay.

Said General Gore to General Clay,

“I’ve always feared the ocean’s spray,

And we may drown!” “It’s true, we may.

It chills my blood,” said General Clay.

Said General Clay to General Gore,

“My bathing suit is slightly tore.

We’d better go on with our war.”

“I quite agree,” said General Gore.

Then General Clay charged General Gore

As bullets flew and cannons roared.

And now, alas! there is no more

Of General Clay or General Gore.

JUST
ME,
JUST
ME

Sweet Marie, she loves just me

(She also loves Maurice McGhee).

No she don’t, she loves just me

(She also loves Louise Dupree).

No she don’t, she loves just me

(She also loves the willow tree).

No she don’t, she loves just me!

(Poor, poor fool, why can’t you see

She can love others and still love thee.)

STANDING

Standing on my elbow

With my finger in my ear,

Biting on a dandelion.

And humming kind of queer

While I watched a yellow caterpillar

Creeping up my wrist,

I leaned on a tree

And I said to me,

“Why am I doing this?”

THE
ONE
WHO
STAYED

You should have heard the old men cry.

You should have heard the biddies

When that sad stranger raised his flute

And piped away the kiddies.

Katy, Tommy,Meg and Bob

Followed, skipping gaily.

Red-haired Ruth, my brother Rob,

And little crippled Bailey,

John and Nils and Cousin Claire,

Dancin’, spinnin’, turnin’

‘Cross the hills to God knows where-

They never came returnin’.

‘Cross the hills to God knows where

The piper pranced, a leadin’

Each child in Hamlin Town but me.

And I stayed home unheedin’.

My papa says that I was blest

For if that music found me,

I’d be witch-cast like all the rest.

This town grows old around me.

I cannot say I did not hear

That sound so haunting hollow-

I heard, I heard, I heard it clear …

I was afraid to follow.

MELINDA
MAE

Have you heard of tiny Melinda Mae,

Who ate a monstrous whale?

She thought she could,

She said she would.

So she started in right at the tail.

And everyone said, “You’re much too small,”

But that didn’t bother Melinda at all.

She took little bites and she chewed very slow,

Just like a good girl should …

…And in eighty-nine years she ate that whale

Because she said she would!

THE
LITTLE
BLUE
ENGINE

The little blue engine looked up at the hill.

His light was weak, his whistle was shrill.

He was tired and small, and the hill was tall,

And his face blushed red as he softly said,

“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”

So he started up with a chug and a strain,

And he puffed and pulled with might and main.

And slowly he climbed, a foot at a time.

And his engine coughed as he whispered soft,

“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”

With a squeak and a creak and a toot and a sigh.

With an extra hope and an extra try.

He would not stop-now he neared the top-

And strong and proud he cried out loud,

“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!”

He was almost there, when-
CRASH! SMASH! BASH!

He slid down and mashed into engine hash

On the rocks below … which goes to show

If the track is tough and the hill is rough,

THINKING
you can just ain’t enough!

AFRAID
OF
THE
DARK

I’m Reginald Clark, I’m afraid of the dark

So I always insist on the light on,

And my teddy to hug.

And my blanket to rub.

And my thumby to suck or to bite on.

And three bedtime stories.

Two trips to the toilet.

Two prayers, and five hugs from my mommy,

I’m Reginald Clark, I’m afraid of the dark

So please do not close this book on me.

HUNGRY
MUNGRY

Hungry Mungry sat at supper.

Took his knife and spoon and fork,

Ate a bowl of mushroom soup, ate a slice of roasted pork,

Ate a dozen stewed tomatoes, twenty-seven deviled eggs,

Fifteen shrimps, nine baked potatoes.

Thirty-two fried chicken legs,

A shank of lamb, a boiled ham,

Two bowls of grits, some black-eye peas,

Four chocolate shakes, eight angel cakes,

Nine custard pies with Muenster cheese,

Ten pots of tea, and after he

Had eaten all that he was able.

He poured some broth on the tablecloth

And ate the kitchen table.

His parents said, “Oh Hungry Mungry, stop these silly jokes.”

Mungry opened up his mouth, and “Gulp,” he ate his folks.

And then he went and ate his house, all the bricks and wood,

And then he ate up all the people in the neighborhood.

Up came twenty angry policemen shouting, “Stop and cease.”

Mungry opened up his mouth and “Gulp,” he ate the police.

Soldiers came with tanks and guns.

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