Where Did It All Go Right? (39 page)

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Authors: Andrew Collins

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Tuesday, 29 January

Got my two ordered
Mad
back issues back. No. 179 = ‘Moronic Woman’. No. 182 = ‘The Shootiest’. Ace stuff.

Went up Pete’s tonight. Been trying out our Undertones ‘remix’. Rhythm guitar = Pete. Lead guitar = Pete. Vocals and Undertone knowledge = moi. Drums? = me if poss.

Friday, 1 February

2 much h/w. Went up Pete’s for another nearly-recording session. We’ve ditched copying the Undertones and we’re writing our own stuff. I’ve gotta come up with the lyrix. Pete’s gotta come up with the muzic. I’m on vocals, Pete’s on guitar. Name? Dunno. The Tramps? Alcatraz? The Beakys? The Comatose Villains?

Tuesday, 7 February

What the hell can we call our group (me + Pete)? Got it … Frenzy?

fren’zy n. fury, delirious excitement. – frenzied a.

Yes! Must be. What say Pete? I’ll ask him tomorrow. Did another recording-nearly session. Working on a number ritt by me, ‘Past Tense’. Good I tell you. Frenzy?

Wednesday, 8 February

Pete don’t fully agree with Frenzy. A few we thought up today: The Zips (hmm); The Outlaws (oh dear); Riot Control (like much); The Stereotypes (hmm); Psycho (oh dear); Enforcer (like much); The Bit-Parts (hmm).

2 much homework. Had shitty ‘glamour’ careers video.
3
Got Stiff Little Fingers’ new new new release, ‘At The Edge’. Jolly good it is too. Went up Craig’s. Saw
Coronation St, Benny Hill
(rather norty). Had hare wash. Listening to John Peel, whose wife’s having a baby and Mikey Read is doing de show for him. Clash etc.

Thursday, 7 February

I’m just writing some rather interesting lyrics for a coupla new songs for us … me and Pete. Yes, our actual, agreed-on-for-the-time-being name is D.D.T.

Yes … D.D.T. Well, we like it. Erm … dichloro diphenyl trichloroethane (insecticide).

Craig came roond. A bitov h/w. Specials no. 1. Melissa got ‘Captain Beaky Freaky’. Badminton in games. Pricey and Ager had a great larf scrap. Had hair cut/spike.

Sunday, 10 February

Did my
Smash Hits
Specials album competition entry. Rather hopeful. Only six winners. Had to design 2-Tone man for record of choice. I did ‘Smash It Up’. You never know …

Saw
Airport
. Rather good film actually. First two thirds not so good; last third = excito.

Thursday, 14 February

Went to see
Invasion of the Bodysnatchers
with Paul Garner, Pete
and
Brian at the Film Society up College of FE.
4
Only a quid to get in, not many people, good enough screen, no strict age restrictions – obviously, as it was a very worthy ‘X’. Only made last year. Not an old film at all. Don Sutherland, Brooke Adams, Len Nimoy, Veronica Cartwright etc. Really good’n’gory. Nice pod scenes, rather horrific, creepy and ace. Birds Eye peas, sweet as the moment when the pod went POP!

Tuesday, 26 February

Paul came down.
5
We have compiled the 100 Best People in the World. Gene H is friggin’ well in there.

Saturday, 1 March

Yes it’s nearly my birthday. So as a birthday treat Dad paid for me, Craig and Paul to go to the ABC to see
Nightwing
‘AA’ with Dave Warner etc. and nasty vampire bats and bitten-up people and blood and big caves and Indian territories and a lady run over by a jeep and great s. effects and blood and teeth and bats squeaking and good. Plus
Billion Dollar Threat
which was good for a larf.

And Simon is in a real much-sulko mood. He has laid there on his bed since 8.30 and it’s now 9.30. What a queer. Nan and Pap baby-sattedified. Saw
Tales of the Unexzzpected
about people turning into bees. Zzzzz.

Tuesday, 4 March

Yes it wuz my birthday. For a start I got £8.50 – because Nan’s fiver went towards a book …
The Illustrated Encyclopedia of the World’s Great Movie Stars and Their Films
(£7.95). Really ace. Melissa got me a great, bolus-shaped rubber and an ace ruler. Si got me the
Rocky/Rocky II
fotonovel. Too ace for words. And Mum’n’Dad got me an
x
quid Hitachi radio/cassette avec aerial, cassette player and recorder, FM, bass, treble, volume, four channels, earpiece, mains socket or batteries etc. It is tooo good.

Went up Paul’s. Going to buy blank cassette,
Nightwing
and
Heaven Can Wait
fotonovels, a Dickies single,
Alien
movie book?, two
Mad
mags.

Wednesday, 5 March

Dad didn’t get home till late last night but I found out dis morning that he had bought me the Dickies single ‘Fan Mail’ yesterday. It’s in red vinyl and with a spesh fold-out free colour 21"×14" poster. The single und the poster are rather goodo.

Still a loada anticlimax-type trouble brewin’ between WFUS, NSB, NSG, Lings, Trinity, Thom A Beckett etc. Everyone gangs up and goes home. But it gets the teachers and cops out. Never anythink happens. Know what I mean?

I tell yoo this radio wot I got too ace. I’m listenin’ to Jonathan Peel now. Had nice supper. Coffee and cow sandwich. Did you know I can’t draw Robert Redford? Jacqueline Bisset is nice enough to put a poster up of her today. I can draw my mate Gene.

Craig come down. Did our intriguing Jane Austen h/w. Who is Jane Austen to inconvenience us?

Friday, 7 March

Went up Creeeegie’s house. He was up the Centre with Andy Bonner.
6
I sat and watched TV with his mum till 8.00, then us three had a larf in his room when they came back. Craig bought
Smash Hits
for me because I have come in the top six in the 2-Tone competition. My entry’s bin printed. It’s really good to see
my
name in the mag in print. I’ll be getting a Specials album. Goodo. Got
Bodysnatchers
fotonovel. Ace.

Saturday, 8 March

Paul und me went town. He got a magic
M*A*S*H
poster and some pencils and I got three black pens, drawing book, blank cassette, Siouxsie and the Banshees LP from r. library.

Chron & Echo
sent a coupla blokes down art skool this morning because our classes have got one week to live. Bleedin’ education cuts. Took photos of our class and just me.

Matish Neil lent me lods of
Mads
inc.
French Connection, Cuckoo’s Nest
. Watching
Tales of the Unexplainable
.

Tuesday, 11 March

Craig is still going out wiv Sarah. Paul and me did our mafs h/w. My photo and Dad’s ed cuts letter waz in the
Chronic & Eccho
. Ace photo of moi. Paul’s Dad got me the original to keep. Ace. Also Tony, Dave and Louis. (Paul, Neil, Jeff, Simon cut off!)

Saw
Grollywood
about directors. Went oop Paul’s.

Thursday, 13 March

Had some cheese on toast tonight. ‘March 13th and all’s well.’ 10.12 and John Peel is playing ‘You’ by Delta 5. It is so ace, ace, ace. I am listening to John Peel. I
did
go up Paul’s and we
did
have a laugh. They
are
playing ‘Going Underground’ by Jam on John Peel. At this moment in time.

I
can’t
draw Hackeline Bisset. They
are
now playing the Slits on JP. I
haven’t
read
Alien
completely yet. My old diareary
does
make Paul crack. Tucker Jenkins
is
a bottom lip.

Mum n Dad
did
go to parunts evening tonight. 10.00 and all’s well. I say, this Slits record ‘In The Beginning There Was Rhythm’ is rather goodo. But now JP’s playin’ Flexys Midway Bummers (Dexys Midnight Runners). My toe isn’t swollen. It was last year though. Bed = 10.00-ish. What does ish mean?

Friday, 21 March

Boring day. (Got my biology book wot I paid for at school.) But
it
waz a gud laugh tonight. I rode up Pete’s. Pete and me rode up Craig’s. Craig, Pete and me nackered ourselves riding up Dave’s. Dave, Craig, Pete and me went round Howkins’.
7
Howkins, Dave, Craig, Pete and me then went round Matt’s.
8
Later we went round Howkins’ again and ended up back at Dave’s till 9.00. Ace.

Thursday, 3 April

Went up Craig’s s’morning. Went up Craig’s s’afternoon and tonight. Where … did … you … get … that … blank expression … on your face.

Craig, Pete, Andy and me went off to the Girl Guides (don’t let that put you off) + Fanciers FC Disco at the Fanciers Club. It was a real good place. Also went: Cindy, Sarah, Jo Gosling, Lisa … They played mostly good music (Specials, Beat, Madness) but too much disco. But whoo cares. There was no proper slow dance at the end, but I’m probably seeing Lisa again.
9
I know her number. We didn’t get the chance to dance, but me and Howkins sat with her for 45% of the night (7.30– 10.30). Craig made it up with Sarah. Howkins really
likes
me for being slightly luckier with Lisa than him. Shit, I’m sorry Howkins.

Sunday, 6 April

Nan got me my Easter present – a pack of Matchmakers. Pretty appropriate. Lisa came down this afternoon. Great. She came down at 2.30. We went up Craig’s later and I walked her home to the Arbours.

Recorded ‘Gangsters’, UB40, Selecter, ‘Echo Beach’, ‘Poison
Ivy
’. All ace. God, Lisa is nice. Did some to my
Poseidon Adventure
picture. What record reminds me of Lisa? ‘Nite Club’? ‘Teenage Kicks’?

Tales of Unexplainable
= ‘Fat Chance’.

Saturday, 12 April

Leeds 0–1 to Crystal Palace. Oh bum. Me + Paul rode all the way up Neil’s and Neil wasn’t at Neil’s. So we returned. It killed us that bloody ride.

Last
Tiswas:
John Peel, Beat, Specials, Bodysnatchers. Led Zep. Rainbow, Al Minter etc.

Lisa’s this afternoon. Got ace photocopy of our ‘Top 100 People’ off Paul. It is so big. And goodo. Lisa, Dave, me, Andy all went round Craig’s tonight. Did a few
Smash Hits
crosswords and Howkins nearly jumped out of the window. And we listened to records and I walked Lisa home. Romantic Interlude. Got 2 Pentels.

Monday, 14 April

Shit I’ve been spelling Liza’s name wrong for the last 11 days. Disgusting! Liza with a ‘Z’. OK? Seen Liza tonight. Went round Craig’s + Pete + Dave + Andy. Walked Liza home. Romantic Interlude. Saw Liza at school as well. No h/w. Saw
Halls of Anger
+ Jeff Bridges. Blax + whites school movie. Ace. And
Film 80

Tom Horn, Empire Strikes Blecch, Starting Over
etc.

Friday, 18 April

Andy 4 Liza. Seen Liza at school. Did self blood tests in biology. Jab. I’m blood group ‘O’. What an average-o kid. And tonight Mr Merrick took 15 of us to Solihull
10
ice-skating, inc. me, Liza, Pete, Craig, Mick, Paul Smith etc. It was a really good larf even though me + Liza were not quite ace on skates. The ice got really wet later on. We went in the minibus. Also had chips at 9.45. Got back in the minibus (Romantic Interlude) at 11.35. Ace.

Wednesday, 30 April

I’m writing this at about 12.00 as I’ve just watched a tribute to Sir Alfred Hitchcock (RIP). He died yesterday. Ace film clips were on it. Woshed my hare. Went up Liza’s tonight. Shit this torch is running out. (I’m writing this under the bed covers by the way.) The Undertones are at no. 11 in the charts. Great. Liza 4 Andy.

Saturday, 3 May

Sports Report … Last day of season: Liverpool beat Aston Villa 4–1 (Cohen, Kennedy, Johnson × 2), clinching the League Championship. Man Utd lost to Leeds 2–0 (Hird [pen.] 76th min, Parlane 14th min) –
Match Of Day
. Ace. So Man Utd are 2nd, Ipswich 3rd. Watford beat Burnley 4–0 (four goals 1st half) and end up two from bottom three in Division 2. Bye bye to Bolton + Derby + somebody else from Div 1. And up come Leicester City from 2 to 1. Grimsby come back up into 2 from 3.

Aberdeen won the Scottish League. Celtic 2nd, St Mirren 3rd. Where were Rangers? Portsmouth beat Cobblers 2–0 here and so the fans left our peaceful little town alone as their win means they rise into Div 3. Liverpool still got one game in hand as well (Middlesboro’).

BBC1 Goal of the Season: (results next Sat.)

My choice:

  1. (H) Justin Fashanu
  2. (J) Terry McDermott
  3. (K) Ray Kennedy

(You are a witness to the fact that I’m right.) Leeds (no order): Lukic, Hird, Stevenson, Flynn, Greenhoff, Madeley, Parlane, Cherry, Graham, Harris, Connor (sub). No more ‘bring me the head of Jimmy Adamson’.

Saturday, 10 May

AM went down town with Dave, Craig, Andy and Pete. Pete bought ‘Living on an Island’, Andy got some disco 12", Dave and Craig went clothes shopping, I got
Smash Hits
and got two LPs from the record library,
At the Chelsea Nightclub
by Members
and
The Biggest Prize in Sport
by 999. That album is really good. 999 are ace. Pete agrees entirely. Me + Pete’ve ordered
Separates
by 999 from the libry.

This afternoon me and Pete went up Craig’s to watch the greatest Cockney rip-off ie. the 1980 FA Cup Final: Arsenal + West Ham. There was only one fucking goal. Devonshire through Pat Jennings’ big hands, shot by Cross, rebound, and goal by Brooking headed off Pearson’s shot. John Lyle was happy. 1–0.

Shit Celtic beat Rangers 1–0. Craig says that Jimmy Hill talks through his arse.

All of us (eg. moi, Liza, Pete, Craig, Dave, Andy, Howkins, Matt) went to the Colts Preservation Disco at Lodge Farm. Also there: Cindy, Fiona Brown, Liz H, Davenports etc.

Monday, 16 June

Well. Now, for me and Paul it’s ‘crap yourself time’. We’re going on telly
live
on Friday. On
Look East
, all about drawing, cartoons, caricatures etc. Dad, Paul’s Dad + us are driving to BBC Norwich on Friday midday. We’ve got to collect loads of drawings together. Live? Worry. Went Paul’s tonight.

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