Where Did It All Go Right? (18 page)

Sunday, 18 April

This morning Simon and I went down the field and Pap was at his allotment so we went up and he has got a bird’s nest with a baby bird in. Simon got soaked when he fell in the stream so he is banned from the field. This afternoon I played with Carl with a load of old sheets. We had great fun. I had a lovely homemade milk shake. Dad has finished our new patio.

Thursday, 22 April

Dean came. We went down the field in the morning and found a great den and we got loads of sticks for guns. Trouble is … between 2.30 and 6.00 somebody (we think) raided our den and all guns (except two) were gone. So we found a load more and we’ve hidden them better. And we found a load of Mini-Warlord guns (they are special). We’ve hidden them in our wellies ready for tomorrow. I had a postcard from Milner.

Wednesday, 5 May

Last night Liverpool clinched the League Championship by beating Wolves 3–1. Toshack, Kennedy and Keegan scored. YAHOOOO. Cobblers are in the third division next season. DITTO!!!! We had Mrs Peck this afternoon and OOOH! The Queen Mother landed in a helicopter in Abington Park. All our school went. It was a great helicopter. I got Melissa a Paddington book and Simon got a pad and three felt tips and I’m going to make a card now.

Thursday, 3 June

Dean stayed all morning and till 3.00. We played down the field
all
the time in our new tree den. Simon and I made up Warlord Badges.
¹⁹
You can get them if you do a good thing.

Tuesday, 8 June

14/20 in the French test. In history a girl, we think, pressed the fire alarm and everyone went out but it was a false alarm. After tea I went down the field with Gibby
²⁰
(Simon went to Cubs) and we found a brill tree/bush which we made into a den with one secret entrance.

Saturday, 26 June

It was boiling and I got all sunburnt. We played with Jonathan and Peter
²¹
most of the day. We had the paddling pool out. We went down Pap’s allotment and picked some strawbs. I wrote my letter to Milner. I got some brill flip-flops.

Tuesday, 29 June

There was no choir today. At dinner time the ice cream man gave away free broken lollies. I got one. A lemon one. 94/100 in French (joint first with Julie Sharp). Dad got me a folder for my
MFC
s.
²²
Kev,
²³
Gibbs and Kev Jnr came to play. Watched
Angels
.

Wednesday, 30 June

Maths 138/200 … er … hmmm … blush … oh well, I got 92/100
for
geog. though. Hooray!! No cooking BOO HISS YAH BOO. We did (don’t read this next word)
theory
. It was hot, too hot for cooking. The trip to Whipsnade tomorrow. Wahay!! My partner’s Angus.

Thursday, 1 July
TRIP TO WHIPSNADE ZOO

My partner was Jes after all. I was in Mrs D Jones’ group. She brought her two children. The hippos had their backs to us. BOO! We had a questionnaire. My packed lunch was with an ice cold drink, chicken sams, an apple pie, two yogurts and some crisps. We went on the playground. We went in the dolphinarium.

Wednesday, 7 July

Jes, Angus and I made up F.A.G.I.C. (we call it Fagit), the Field, Adventure, Good-fun and Interest Club. We made fresh fruit salad with Mrs Hooton. We went to Nan Collins’ after tea, we got a £ for our holidays. Nan got me a
Monster Fun
hol special.

Saturday, 10 July
OFF ON OUR HOLS!!!

We arrived at Llithfaen near Pwllheli. We are staying at Mr and Mrs Williams’ farmhouse. There is a big farm. We arrived at 9–10 o’clock. We had a fish and chip takeaway dinner (I had chips and beans). We went on Pwllheli beach. I got my trousers wet when a big wave splashed up. We had a lovely tea. We walked round the fields. There is a dog, cow and calf (we have only just seen them). It wasn’t particularly hot but it was not really cold.

Monday, 12 July

We went to Pwllheli for the day. Dad got the book
Rommel? Gunner Who?
and I got a postcard for Form 2-1, a
Frankie Stein
hol special and an Asterix paperback. I played in the sea. We discovered a little shrew over the road from our farmhouse. We named him ‘Vernon the Short’. We went for a ride in Mr Williams’ hay cart with two other men. We went to a pub, past Nefyn. Just now, Simon, Dad and I saw a frog in the front garden.

Tuesday, 10 August

Dean came to Nan’s. We played Action Man in the sink. They got soaked. I came home from Nan’s. Simon’s got friendly with Suttle.
²⁴
Melissa’s got a new hairstyle. Simon and I are gonna play Bugsy
²⁵
now.

Tuesday, 31 August

I made a Lego house for my Devlins
²⁶
tonight. Dad took Simon and I to Wellingborough Golf Club. We did nine holes. It didn’t rain. Simon and I couldn’t hit many balls really. Then we went in the bar in the clubhouse. We had a Coke on draught. We watched TV.

Sunday, 5 September

Simon and I played with Mossy and Suttle on bikes down the field. Mossy and I can climb a great new tree. We played Herbies
²⁷
on bikes. When Mossy’s glider went over the stream, Mossy and I went over and on the way back I put my foot right in the stream. I changed then. We had a HAIR WASH.

Monday, 13 September

We had art – woodwork. B for my pencil box. Kev and Jes came round and we were bored for a bit. Angus, Jes and I have started
A.K.C.
(the Anti-Kim Campaign). We hate Kim. Stupid isn’t he? We sent him to Coventry.
²⁸

Tuesday, 14 September

We’ve stopped calling Kim a loony and all that but we still can’t stand the sight of him. Normal lessons. Simon went to Cubs. Kev bought a load of crisps.

Wednesday, 15 September

I trod on a drawing pin this morning. Kim was acting stupid as usual. Soardsy gave me a Corona Fizzical sticker. Kev came and we watched
Carry On Nurse
.

Friday, 17 September

It was brilliant, absolutely fab. It was great. It was the best games lesson I’ve ever had. We had cross-country. (One lap round the park. I came 28th. Credit. I went with Busho.
²⁹
) Then some of us played rugby with too many people and there weren’t many rules. Kev and I got killed.

Saturday, 18 September

I got my
War Paper
(a poster of Hitler in it). In the afternoon Angus, Jes and I played on bikes all the time. We lost Jes up Weston Way. We changed the poster board. We’ve got the Dr Who, Hitler,
³⁰
Keep Mum She’s Not So Dumb and Tommy Gun posters up. We can’t watch
Two Ronnies
. BOOOO!

Friday, 1 October

Homework from maths and science. 18/20 for French test. Rugby in games. Showers. Kev came and we played over Billing Road by the stream in the sinking mud.

Sunday, 3 October

To Nan Collins’ for the day. I made a boat/gun-emplacement for my Action Man. Lovely dinner. Lovely tea. Simon gave me a brill James Bond gun with a bullet. WOW! But I’ve given it back. I don’t want it.

Monday, 4 October

I’ve finished my rattle in woodwork. Kev didn’t come. We started copper foil pictures. Kim was acting loony as usual. Kim is a twit. The world would be a better place without the big pouff. He escaped from some loony bin.

Wednesday, 6 October

Jes, Kev, Angus and I have started the Ultimate Gang. Only us four are in it. Nothing happened at the doctor’s – it was about my enlarged tonsils. Hockey. Kim was being a pouff as usual.
Carry On Regardless
and
Benny Hill
. Melissa is still off school.

Thursday, 7 October

Did more to our copper pictures in woodwork. That was our last lesson of woodwork. French test: 12/12 = credit. Kim was being loonyish as usual. Kev came. We went to the sinking sand kingdom and over and under the bridge. Shower. I got an ulcer.

Sunday, 10 October

Did drawing in the morning. Simon went to church parade. In the afternoon Wyn,
³¹
Robert and I went to Wilson’s party. We went to the Brayfield Stock Car Racing. Two overturned and one smashed into the post next to us. His wheel got caught on the fence. We had a hot dog. Tea: chips, beans, fish fingers and a rum’n’raisin chocolate ice cream thing. We played cards and Frustration. Auntie Gladys, Pap and Nan Collins came all afternoon while I was at Wilson’s. I watched
Fawlty Towers
.

Tuesday, 12 October

It’s a wonder it’s not the 13th today (unlucky) because: Kev’s away with rheumatism, Mum couldn’t get my
Krazy
comic, I couldn’t get it when I went to the shops either and I’ve just gone and had a bath when I was supposed to have a hands and face. OH WELL! Nan C is baby-sitting. We can go on the climbing frame at school now. Sandwiches. Choir.

Friday, 22 October
HOLS

We got to Ilfracombe (after six hours driving) but the bungalow was cold and damp. So we came home (12 hours over, in all). Melissa was sick there and back. We didn’t have dinner, just tea at a Wimpy. I had two whole Wimpys. Simon had egg’n’chips (so did Melissa). Dad had a Wimpy and so did Mum. We got home about 10.00. We were tired. Nan and Pap were here waiting for us.

Saturday, 23 October

We started our hols in Northampton (it’s half term you see). Dad and Mum didn’t need to do much shopping in the morning.
In
the afternoon we bought – Simon: landing craft, lorry, little truck (for soldiers), Andrew: three jokes and tricks (dummy lit cigs, puff puff cigs, plate lifter), two Tempos, blue and mauve. Got Jasper Carrott record.

Sunday, 24 October

Carl gave me some wonder plastic. In the afternoon I went with Carl to Irchester Park. Just had a Dubonnet and lime. Played Nan’s De Luxe Scrabble.

Tuesday, 26 October

Cleared garage out in the morning (Dad, Melissa and I that is). I’ve got my own special painting bench. We went to the Model Shop, Tesco and Bodley’s. Simon got pontoon bridge for titch soldiers and I got desert outpost for 8th Army. I’ve just painted that, complete with vulture, Grecian urns, bench and ladder. Simon went to Colesey’s.

Wednesday, 27 October

We went to Twycross Zoo (for the day). There were orang-utans, gorillas, loads of monkeys, lions, tigers, leopards, cheetahs, pets corner, otters, reptile house, camels, llamas, birds, tapirs, crocs, vultures, pigs, elephants, tortoises (giant ones), porcupines, giraffes, more monkeys, snakes, penguins, chimps, baby orang-utans, baby chimp, wallabies, kangaroos and more. NO HIPPOS. Had chip shop chips for tea. I had chicken (and beans). Got a rubber spider from zoo. The baby chimp kept whacking the glass when I leaned against it. I took a photo of a parrot. There was a mynah bird. The lion was roaring and Simon took a photo of it. Melissa got a zebra (called Benjy Friendy Smiley!!). My spider is called Dudley.

Tuesday, 2 November

Got choir badge. Jes got 100 lines for shouting at me in history. We (Angus and I) were mucking about, acting hard and he shouted. Hence: 100 lines. 19/20 in French test. Music test. Mum put blue covers on our beds.

Wednesday, 3 November

Hockey. Jes got all snotty because Angus and I tried to run away from him. Only a joke. But he’s got so snotty Angus and I got him out the Ultimate Gang. Had conversation in French with Mademoiselle Olvonkablblblbl (Mademoiselle Olivier or something).
Goldfinger
(on TV).

Wednesday, 24 November

Did indoor games instead of hockey. No homework. Mrs Moxham said that I should go to her on Monday instead of cookery.
³²
Just now Simon jumped on my bed and hit my head. I called him a pouff and he kept booting my face and then I hit my head on the radiator. What a loony he is. Pam Ayres on
This Is Your Life
.

Wednesday, 1 December

It got a bit frosty this morning, hence: skiddy playground. Soardsy, Angus and I went to Mrs Hooton at din-dins to do more to the carpeting.
³³
Had to move all the stuff. Mrs Dennison is still away, had Miss Sabin instead. Did Xmas card for Mum’s squash coach. Si did cookery (milk shake and Angel Delight). Parents could come again (Mum didn’t). Kev Keegan bashed up his back in the bike race in
Superstars
.

Thursday, 2 December

Had Miss Lindsay for art. Homework. Mr Walman wants me to do a poster for the end-of-term film,
The Shakiest Gun in the West
. I’ve done it. Mr Hanna’s science lesson carried on till 25 past 12 and I was late! Angus and I moved the old carpet from the flat.
After
assembly Mr Jones gave a talk to the boys about: no spitting, no practical jokes, no mud, no wasting paper towels and no pea-shooters.
³⁴

Wednesday, 8 December

Mrs Dennison still away. Had Miss Sabin. Si got a diary. Had pirates in PE. No homework. Went to Mrs Moxham for another test instead of RE. Emery
³⁵
came off his bike ’cos of a wet track in cycling in
Superstars
.

Saturday, 25 December
CHRISTMAS DAY

I got: Monopoly, big (giant) drawing book, felt tips, 1977 diary, inks, big soldiers, loads of Britains,
³⁶
paints, stamps, stamp album, Press-Ups (a game), brushes, Tempos,
MFC
annual,
Frankie
annual,
Cor! Book of Gags
, glue, model, darts, £1, Pam Ayres book, slippers and more. Lovely dinner. I got some fab presents. Played Monopoly. Went to bed at 9.10. Also I got: Quality Streets, Roses and a Terry’s Chocolate Orange and a selection box.