When We Meet Again (32 page)

The response was low and muttered, and Pamela was grateful she could not make it out. Valentina laughed. "That does sound like fun."

Pamela ignored the outrageous ideas that popped into her head about Petrov's unheard comment and what the princess's laugh implied.

"About Nikolai?" Pamela prompted.

"Ah, yes. " Valentina thought for a moment. "No doubt he simply wanted to see his brother. " She shrugged and started to close the door.

"Your Highness, " Pamela said quickly. "Alexei and the count were both pensive and preoccupied after they talked to Nikolai, and, quite frankly, their manner has me concerned."

"Pamela, you may well be seeing trouble where none exists. I daresay—"

"Your Highness, please."

"In truth I do not know what to say. I would suspect Nikolai has not accepted the changes in our world as Alexei has or, for that matter, as I now have. I can well understand his feelings. " She paused for a moment, then blew a resigned breath. "I have come to one inescapable conclusion in recent months, and if you breathe a word of this, I shall quite cheerfully slit your throat. Or have it slit, it scarcely matters."

"You needn't threaten me. I don't find you the least bit frightening, you know."

"Not even a little?"

"No, " Pamela said firmly, although in truth the princess was more than a little intimidating.

"I have changed more than I thought, " Valentina murmured.

"I shall keep your confidence. You have my word."

"Really? Very well then. " Valentina paused. "Alexei was right."

"About?"

"His decision not to oppose the Russians. " The princess sighed. "I did not realize it at the time, of course, but then in some ways I have always let my passions overrule my head." Pamela snorted.

Valentina ignored her. "In truth, Alexei had no choice, and fortunately for Avalonia, the wisdom to accept it. Again, if you dare to mention—"

"I won't say a word. What about Nikolai?"

"Nikolai is young, and we are all rather stupid when we are young."

"We certainly can be, " Pamela said under her breath.

"I have no idea what Nikolai's intentions are. We shall have to wait until tomorrow. Or rather later today to be accurate. Now then, if there is nothing else?"

"No. " Pamela shook her head. "Nothing."

Valentina studied her for a moment. "I am sorry that I was not of more help. You must realize my cousins and I have always been, well, natural enemies as it were. Therefore, I do not know them as well as other people might know members of their family. They do not trust me yet, and there is every chance they never will. It is my burden to bear, and even I can admit I well deserve it. As much as it pains me to confess it, I now truly believe Alexei chose the wisest course for our people and that he will continue to do what is in their best interest. I believe as well, God help me"—she heaved a heartfelt sigh—"he would have made a wise and good, possibly even great, king."

Pamela stared.

"I know, it is all very shocking, " Valentina said wryly. "I can scarcely accept it myself." Pamela nodded slowly. "Good evening, Your Highness, and thank you."

"Yes, yes. " Valentina grimaced, stepped back, and closed the door. Pamela stared at the closed door. She certainly hadn't expected any of that. Oh, not Petrov in Valentina's bed, although that was something Pamela would never have imagined, but Valentina's comments about Alexei. The princess really had changed if she thought her cousin would have made a great king.

Pamela started back toward her room although she doubted even now she'd be able to sleep. She toyed with knocking on Aunt Millicent's door, but she rather feared what she would find there as well. Besides, Aunt Millicent might well try to calm Pamela's fears, but she knew nothing of the situation and could not provide any insight.

There was nothing to be done for it then. She would have to wait until tomorrow. Or later today. Or... her step slowed.

She could go directly to Alexei. She would never be able to sleep until she had an answer. Admittedly presenting herself at Alexei's door at this late hour, dressed in nothing but her nightclothes, carried a definite risk.

Was it a risk she was willing to take? She had no particular intention of ending the night in his bed, but she had no particular aversion to it either. Her heart thudded in her chest. She turned on her heel and started toward the far end of the passage. His rooms were at the very end of the corridor, as far away from hers as one could get.

She had had two rather cursory, and unsatisfactory, intimate encounters with George. And one night of bliss and magic with Alexei. If things did not end well between them, or if Nikolai's presence did indeed lead to disaster, it was entirely possible she would have no other chance to be with him again. She knew now respectability was not as important to her as he was. And knew as well if she did not marry him, she would not marry at all.

Once she had chosen him as the man to start her on the path to a life of experience. Now he was the man who held her heart.

And, whether he wished it or not, always would.

Fourteen

If ever I meet a man who can make me feel as my husband did, as if I am the only woman in the
world, I shall abandon all sense of propriety and follow my heart wherever it may lead. Right orwrong.

Clarissa, Lady Overton

"What is it?" Alexei yanked the door open and stared. "What are you doing here?" Pamela stood in the doorway illuminated by the light behind him. She was scandalously clad in some sort of flimsy robe, her hair rumpled, her eyes dark and shadowed.

"I couldn't sleep, and I saw the light under your door."

"Yes, well. " He ran his hand through his hair, acutely aware that all he wore was a dressing gown and silk trousers. "That seems to be my trouble as well."

"May I come in?"

"I do not think that would be wise."

"Perhaps not. " She shrugged. "However, unless you intend to leave me in the corridor, where I warn you I shall pound on your door, no doubt rousing anyone who may yet be asleep, and as—"

"Come in, " he snapped and stepped aside to let her pass. She slipped into the room, the scent that was hers and hers alone drifting in her wake. He shut the door behind her and wondered how grave a mistake it was to allow her in his room and anywhere near his bed. The very same bed where he had dreamed about her, indeed where he had envisioned her, ever since they had first met. Or rather, met again. She wandered around the room, lit but dimly by the single lamp. "I see your rooms are not substantially better cared for than mine."

"They are sufficient for my needs."

"Still, it's not the luxury that you are used to. " She ran her hand along the fringed edge of the window drapes.

"One accustoms oneself to what one must. Besides, it is all of good quality, if a bit worn, and the maids are thorough. In truth, I have scarcely noticed. " He narrowed his eyes. "Surely you are not here to check on the suitability of my accommodations?"

"It would seem rather absurd at this hour. " She glanced around the room, her gaze settling for just a moment on the bed. Very large, with carved posts and an upper frame for bed hangings long since vanished, it was the kind of bed that fairly invited the partaking of pleasure. A blush swept up her face, and she quickly looked away. "Still, it is my house, at least in part; therefore, you are my guest." He snorted. "And paying for the privilege."

"Is it so bad then? Staying here with us."

"It is indeed a"—he smiled—"privilege."

She returned his smile.

"What do you want, Pamela?" he said softly.

"First?" Her gaze met his, her dark eyes simmered. His stomached lurched. He drew a deep breath and nodded. "First."

"I want to know why your brother is here."

He shook his head. "I do apologize, Pamela, but that is really none of your concern."

"Isn't it?" She settled into a chair near the fireplace and studied him. "It seems to me it is indeed my concern as long as we are in this masquerade."

"Well said. Although I have never especially enjoyed having my words thrown back in my face."

"It wasn't really throwing. It was more in the manner of, oh, gently tossing. " She grinned. "But with unerring accuracy."

"Very well, then, I dislike having my words tossed at me, gently or otherwise, with unerring accuracy."

"And I dislike avoidance of a simple question, " she said coolly.

"A simple question? I would have thought you of all people would have well understood the avoidance of a simple question. A question like oh, let me think. What was it again?" He paused thoughtfully. "Ah yes. Questions such as where have we met before? Or even where have we kissed?"

"I thought you had decided you were mistaken?"

"That is one of the problems with admitting one's mistakes. " He shook his head forlornly. "When you do so once, you may well open the doors to doing so again."

"What?" She shook her head in confusion.

"In admitting I was wrong about having met you before I allowed the possibility that the admission of my mistake was a mistake in and of itself."

"That is most confusing, and you well know it. " She frowned in annoyance. "You are simply trying to change the subject."

"I am not trying to do anything. " He crossed his arms and leaned against the carved post of the bed. "I have already done it."

She narrowed her eyes. "Why is your brother here?"

"He is my brother. We have not seen one another for some time. Indeed, it has been far too long. " He paused. "You did not see your brothers for many years. No doubt you missed them."

"Well, yes—"

"I made the acquaintance of both of them tonight. They were pleasant enough although they did seem to view me with a certain lack of trust and a definite touch of suspicion." She waved away his comment. "They are brothers. They do not trust any men who express interest in my sister or myself."

"And yet they also greeted me with a distinct air of relief and possibly even gratitude, " he said thoughtfully. "I wonder why that was?"

She stared at him for a moment, then laughed. "They shall be quite disappointed when you and I do not marry. They probably see you as the answer to their prayers."

He chuckled. "As the plan is for me to be at fault for the unhappy ending of our engagement, I shall make it a point to avoid them afterward."

"Avoiding my brothers is an excellent idea. As for your brother—"

"I do not, in truth, know why Nikolai is here. " Alexei sighed in surrender and ignored the fact that he could well guess Nikolai's intentions even if his brother had not yet stated them aloud. "And until I do—"

"You will know today, though, won't you?" she pressed.

"If indeed there is anything to know, and that is yet to be determined. " He stared at her. "Why are you so intent upon knowing why my brother is here? Is it that unusual for one brother to visit another?"

"Not at all. I just... " She got to her feet and paced the room. "It will sound ridiculous."

"I expect it to."

She ignored him. "From the moment I saw him, I had, well, an odd sort of feeling about him." He raised a brow. "A feeling?"

"Yes. And you needn't look at me like that."

"Like you were just a bit mad?" he said pleasantly.

"Yes, " she snapped, then drew a deep breath. "I assure you I am quite sane."

"I do not know. " He shook his head in a solemn manner. "I have always heard that the insane routinely declare themselves to be sane. How do I know that you—"

"Alexei."

"Any moment you could begin batting at invisible flies."

"Alexei!"

"Sorry. " He grinned. He did so love it when she was indignant. "Do go on."

"I have a feeling something is going to happen. " She paused and stared at him. "Something dreadful."

"Well, " he said slowly, "we are engaged. Many might say something dreadful has already—"

"I am quite serious about this. " Indignation fairly rang in her voice. He bit back a grin.

"I would prefer that nothing dreadful, indeed, nothing fatal, happen to you."

"That is very kind of you, but if something did indeed happen to me of a fatal nature—"

"Death?" she snapped, as if the idea of his death no longer bothered her but, at the moment at least, was somewhat appealing.

"It would neatly end our engagement, and I would not have to behave in a despicable manner, which I must say I am not looking forward to. Indeed, with my demise you would garner no end of sympathy and, no doubt, many a masculine shoulder to cry on."

"Do be serious. " She folded her arms over her chest and glared.

"I am serious. It would be a perfect ending to it all."

She glared at him.

"Very well, I shall try to take this all seriously. " He resisted the urge-no-the need to move to her and put his arms around her. "But it will be extremely difficult."