When Solomon Sings (10 page)
Read When Solomon Sings Online
Authors: Kendra Norman-Bellamy
NINE
Four days. That's how long Neil had allowed the madness to continue. Four days of not seeing or speaking to Shaylynn, and four days of only having short exchanges during school hours with his favorite little guy, Chase. If the notion of “three strikes and you're out” applied to his situation, Neil had already been sent back to the dugout, defeated.
What on earth was I thinking?
By now, the word had spread, and he'd been duly reprimanded from all sides. CJ, Theresa, Ella Mae; even his younger sister, Val, had called from New Jersey to weigh in on the issue after their mother telephoned her and blabbed. Neil had grown weary of hearing his friends and family members tell him how disappointed in him they were, but he understood, because none could come close to matching his disappointment in himself. They each had different suggestions about what he should do next, but the one thing they all agreed on was that he needed to make it right. Neil was beginning to feel like God Himself was talking through his closest confidants, and time was running out for him to take heed. That was especially true when Homer Burgess miraculously retreated from the edge of insanity long enough to offer sound, almost fatherly-like advice. As deteriorated as his mind had become in recent months, that was about as big a miracle as God speaking to Moses through that burning bush.
It was just six o'clock in the morning on Saturday, and Neil had already surpassed mile three on the treadmill he was using for this weekend's exercise routine. A steady stream of up-tempo music from his MP3 player helped to keep him energized and the pace of his steps on beat.
Today, he'd chosen to work out at the LA Fitness Center on Peachtree Road in the Buckhead district of metropolitan Atlanta. This wasn't the location that he normally visited for his weekly cardio blasts. Neil chose it today for one major reason: he needed some solitude. Not that he was there alone. The gym opened its doors somewhere around five o'clock each morning, so there were people all around him, working toward achieving better health and fitness, but he didn't know any of them, and they didn't know him. The Northlake/ Tucker facility that he normally frequented was much more convenient to home, but had he gone to that one today, not only would it have been jam-packed with its normal swarm of Saturday patrons, but Neil also would have been sure to run into Adam Schmitz, his unofficial, yet self-proclaimed, trainer.
Adam was the carrot-top fitness fanatic who had encouraged Neil to take up the sport of running in the first place. He was a great kid, a genius when it came to technology, but sometimes Neil wondered if the computer programmer forgot that in their relationship, the mentee was nearly twice the age of the mentor. Adam had been running religiously for thirteen years, and since he was only twenty-five, that was more than half his life. Neil, on the other hand, had been at this for less than two years. He was in commendable health, but at the end of the day, he was still forty-six, and sometimes Adam's endless energy, and his constant peps of “Come on, Neil ... don't give up ... you can do it!” could get downright annoying.
Funny thing was the personality trait of Adam's that annoyed Neil the most was also the one that he appreciated most. He owed Adam much of the credit for his improved health and more toned physique. Neil felt stronger and looked better now than he did ten, maybe even fifteen years ago, and that had become of particular importance to him since entering into this May-December romance with Shaylynn. There were as many years between them as there were between Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore ... only in Neil's equation, the script was flipped. He didn't know if Demi ever felt the need to work harder than other women just because she had a younger man, but Neil sure felt the need to do so for the sake of his younger woman.
He came from good genes on both sides of his family, so despite the premature graying of the hairs on his temples, people had always told Neil that he looked about ten years younger than his age. Each of his siblings received the same compliment on a regular basis. Their bodies, however, aged just like everyone else's, and Neil knew that if he was going to be in a relationship with a woman fifteen years his junior, he needed a physique that could compete with those of men closer to her age. Because of Adam's pushing, Neil's confidence about his body image had tripled over the past year. But all those positives notwithstanding, he still didn't feel like entering any fitness challenges today. Neil wasn't in the mood to try to keep up with the man who would be running on the belt beside him. He didn't feel like playing the psychological game of pushing beyond the pain and the fatigue so that he would beat his personal best. Today, Neil was running to clear his head. He needed to come up with a strategy to save his relationship. He needed to think. And he needed to think
fast.
fast.
All of the lectures and scolding that had come by way of his family and friends had really been unnecessary. By the time Neil ended his call with Deacon Burgess on Thursday, he had been convinced that he needed to make things right with Shaylynn; he just didn't know exactly how to go about doing it. In his procrastination, two additional days had passed, and he couldn't help but wonder if whatever he did at this point would be too little too late. Neil's initial plan had been to answer the phone the next time Shaylynn called, and the two of them could talk about it and begin to mend. But the opportunity never came. The success of his plan was depending on that “next time” phone call, but it never happened. Shaylynn's name and photo image hadn't lit up on his cell screen since Thursday afternoon, and Neil could only imagine what was going through her head. She was probably wondering what was going through
his
head. Sometimes Neil wondered about that one himself.
his
head. Sometimes Neil wondered about that one himself.
Shaylynn made him crazy. Plain and simple. Love had lived in Neil's heart before, but it had never occupied every nook and cranny like this. Women had rented his heart in the past, even leased it, but Shaylynn was the first to own it outright. Yes, this one had changed the drapes, painted the walls, and put her name on the mailbox, and Neil knew that it would be insane of him to let her go over something as silly as her lingering attachment to her deceased husband. But as childish as it might seem to others, Neil couldn't totally shake the urge to do something to cut the heart-string that remained adhered to Emmett all these years later. As much as everyone tried to convince him that it shouldn't be such a sore spot for him, Neil still found it disheartening to know that the woman he defined as his soul mate already had a soul mate ... and it wasn't him. The fact that Emmett was deceased didn't make it any easier to accept.
At four miles, Neil's favorite Nike shirt was clinging to his hairless chest, and in his ear, Jennifer Lopez was singing a song that said love didn't cost a thing. Neil disagreed. If that were true, he wouldn't be in the predicament that he was in right now. Love may not cost money, but it definitely came with a price, and if a person wasn't willing to pay it, they ended up alone. There was a time in Neil's life when he thought lifelong bachelorhood was the order of the day, but not anymore. Shaylynn had changed all that, and being alone was no longer appealing. He had to get their relationship back on course.
Sweat seemed to be oozing from every pore of his upper body, but he could still breathe without struggling. He remembered a time, not too long ago, when he couldn't do that. At five feet seven, Neil stood at a modest height for a man. Glancing to his right, he noted that the stride of his jog was in perfect sync with that of the man on the treadmill beside him. Had that been Adam, it would have been a different story. Adam was six feet tall and had longer legs. When he ran, it was as though he had lungs in his chest, and then an extra pair in his feet. He seemed to never get winded.
Neil glimpsed at the man beside him once again. He was an Asian gentleman who appeared to be in his mid to late thirties, and he wore a wedding band. As desperate as Neil was at this point, he seriously contemplated pulling the earphones from his ear and asking the guy's opinion on what he would do if he were in his situation. This fellow was married, so it was safe to assume that at one time he and his wife had to be in the dating stage. Relationship problems weren't exclusive to black folks, so he should know a little something, right? Neil decided against disrupting the stranger's workout. It wouldn't do any good. CJ was married too, and Homer Burgess had been married twice, but neither of them owned a crystal ball with any magic answers. Neil knew that the man running beside him wouldn't have the answers either.
Homer indicated that Neil was acting like a coward. Neil still thought that was far too strong a word. True, he had some apprehensions, but he wasn't scared. It was
apprehension
that had tied that knot in his stomach and made him too sick to end Tuesday night's date on a good note. It was
apprehension
that had him making a rash decision to jump in his car on Wednesday afternoon and return the engagement ring he'd purchased. It was
apprehension
that stopped him from answering Shaylynn's last call on Thursday. And it was
apprehension
that had him tossing and turning on Friday night, up at such an early hour on Saturday morning, and now jogging for the past hour.
Apprehension. . .
not fear.
apprehension
that had tied that knot in his stomach and made him too sick to end Tuesday night's date on a good note. It was
apprehension
that had him making a rash decision to jump in his car on Wednesday afternoon and return the engagement ring he'd purchased. It was
apprehension
that stopped him from answering Shaylynn's last call on Thursday. And it was
apprehension
that had him tossing and turning on Friday night, up at such an early hour on Saturday morning, and now jogging for the past hour.
Apprehension. . .
not fear.
Neil snapped from his rampant thoughts when his treadmill began to slow down on its own accord. He had preset it for five miles and couldn't believe he was already there. Fatigue had caught up with him somewhere along the way, but he hadn't noticed it until now. As the fog of thoughts cleared from his head, Neil gripped the handlebar in front of him while he caught his breath. The guy who had earlier been jogging beside him had, at some point, left the scene, and had been replaced by a leggy black chick who didn't look a day over twenty-one. She was scantily clad in a red sports bra and matching spandex shorts, and her shoulder-length ponytail swung from side to side as she ran at an impressive speed. In his mind, Neil wondered how long she could keep up that relay runner's pace, but he wouldn't be sticking around to find out. His treadmill's belt slowed to a stop, and he paused long enough to turn off his MP
3
player, and then used a hand towel to wipe his face. When he stepped off the apparatus and made eye contact, the girl flashed a grin and winked her right eye.
Is she flirting?
Neil was too flattered not to return the smile. She was pretty. Too tall, too thin, and too young for his taste, but pretty just the same.
3
player, and then used a hand towel to wipe his face. When he stepped off the apparatus and made eye contact, the girl flashed a grin and winked her right eye.
Is she flirting?
Neil was too flattered not to return the smile. She was pretty. Too tall, too thin, and too young for his taste, but pretty just the same.
Once he was in the locker room and inside the shower stall, Neil's mind was consumed once again. “You can't let this go another day,” he whispered into the waterfall that beat directly on his face. “Come on, Neil ... make it right ... you can do it!” He shook his head at his own pep talk. “I can't believe it,” he muttered as he turned his face to the wall and allowed the water to rinse the lather off of his back. “I'm turning into Adam Schmitz.”
By the time he stepped out of the shower, he had devised a tentative plan. Neil dried his head and his body, and then took his time getting dressed. He knew what he had to do, but he was in no big hurry to do it. Neil had waited so long to do something that anything that he tried to do at this point could backfire. Taking ownership of his error in judgment was way overdue, and he wasn't at all sure that Shaylynn would be so quick to accept his apology;
if
she accepted it at all.
if
she accepted it at all.
“It's easier to reach the heavens ... than for us to work this out ... I haven't prayed in so long ... but if it brings you back somehow ... then I guess I need a miracle, right now...”
Neil stopped at his locker door and listened to the lyrics that were streaming from the gym's speakers. It was the voice of Abraham McDonald, the man whose amazing voice virtually blew the competition out of the water when Oprah held that karaoke challenge on her show a couple of years ago. The song was so befitting because Neil felt like he needed a major miracle if he was going to win back Shaylynn. Not that they had broken up. At least he hoped not.
Dressed in the grey sweatshirt and blue jeans that he had rolled inside his gym bag before leaving home this morning, Neil sat on the bench in front of his locker door and bent to tie his shoes. His head remained lowered even after his task was complete. He had failed to pray this morning, and the song had just reminded him of it. Now was as good a time as any, because Neil had a feeling it was going to take more than his youthful looks and toned body to get him back in Shaylynn's good graces after four days of silence. After a whispered, “Amen,” he grabbed his coat, pulled the strap of his gym bag over his shoulder, and headed for the exit door.
The windchill that met him on the outside of the gym energized Neil to rush to his SUV despite his fatigue. He'd forgotten his hat, and on top of all the other misery he was dealing with, the last thing he needed was a head cold. He climbed inside the vehicle, but the temperatures there didn't seem to be much better. Neil quickly started the engine, pulled a peppermint candy from his ashtray and popped it in his mouth, and waited impatiently for the air coming from his vents to turn warm.
“One heaven ... one forever ... there's just one eternity. One heaven ... one everlasting ... and one chance for me to go. I don't wanna miss my chance ...”
Neil shook his head. Was God trying to talk to him through music today? The harmonizing voices of gospel legends The Williams Brothers streamed from Praise 102.5 radio station and filled the space inside Neil's Toyota Highlander. He pressed his back against the seat and exhaled. The inside temperature was so cold that he could see his breath. Neil knew that the group was singing about actual heaven and how they didn't want to do anything that would cause them to miss the opportunity to spend eternity there with Jesus, but somehow the song made Neil think of Shaylynn. He hoped to God that one chance to spend a lifetime with her wasn't all he had. If so, he'd blown it big time.
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