When Smiles Fade (17 page)

About to leave the dressing room, Alessa called out to the girls. “Come on, I’ll take you back upstairs.” When they reached the bar, she said to them, “Well, nice to have met you,” and moved toward the stage for her next performance.

It was at that moment that Emma noticed Alessa’s “manager,” Harlin, watching her. Although not a single word was exchanged between him and Alessa, it was clear to Emma from the way they glanced at each other that this was Alessa’s “pimp” and she was afraid of him.

Harlin was looking at Alessa with pure contempt and Emma had to fight back her impulse to run over and rake her fingernails down his face. Alessa was a nice person and it made Emma’s senses flare to see her being bullied by a thug like Harlin. She felt the blood rush to her head as her desire to protect Alessa nearly overtook her. Then she thought of Gracie and forced herself to calm down. This was no time for hate, she told herself, willing herself to get up and leave the bar.

As the two girls walked to Pam’s car, Emma asked, “Why do you think people are mean? What makes someone prey on people who can’t protect themselves?

“I don’t know, Em. I guess they’re just born that way. Maybe something bad happened to them and they just can’t help themselves from being an asshole.”

Emma wondered if that was what happened to her. She had killed her father and then Jake. Then she thought about what she did to her mother. “Bri, do you think someone who hurts people is evil if they do it to protect someone else?”

Her friend put her arm around waist. “No, those people are brave, Em. They risk their own ass to save someone they love,” she assured her, knowing that Emma was feeling guilt over protecting Gracie.

When the two girls reached the car they found Gracie fast asleep.

“Well, what do you think?” Emma asked her friend.

“I think it’s something I can do,” Brianna replied. “Look, it’s not like I haven’t been exposed to this kind of stuff. My mom’s a whore, remember? All we’re doing is dancing; we won’t have to have sex with anyone. Did you see all the dollar bills Alessa got when she walked around the bar? That was fucking awesome! I say we come back and see if we can win this contest. It’s a one-time thing and no big deal. Besides, we need money and we need it now.”

“Yep, I agree,” Emma conceded. “It can’t be any worse than being beat all the time. Let’s do this!”

The girls stayed in the parking lot, talking until two in the morning, when the bar closed. They discussed the kind of costumes they could make out of the clothes they had with them.

Then Brianna came up with an idea. “Why don’t we drive back and park somewhere close to my house so I can get us some slut clothes from my mom? We’ll go one night this week, when she’s out.”

“Great idea, Bri!” Emma said excitedly. “You can get us some of her shoes too. We’ll need to be careful, though. We’re in and out, you got it?”

Brianna agreed. “I’m so tired,” she said, yawning. “I can’t wait to go to sleep. You know, since we’re here, why don’t we check out the area and see if there’s somewhere we can park the car and crash for the night. I hate it in Kensington! It really freaks me out.”

“Fine with me.”

They drove about twenty minutes west of Double Visions to a little town called Ambler. They parked the car for the night on West Maple Avenue and slept peacefully, not knowing what waited for them in the small town.

The next morning, the girls woke up and checked out the area around them. They found themselves in another sketchy neighborhood similar to Chain Street, but still a whole lot better than Kensington.

When Gracie woke up she started asking the girls a million questions. “How was it? Do you have to dance naked? What were the men like? Are you going to enter the contest?”

“Holy shit! Slow down, girl,” Brianna joked.

Emma looked into the backseat. “It seemed reasonable. We met this very cool dancer and she showed us around and gave us some advice. We decided to go back for amateur night.”

“Will you have to dance naked?” Gracie persisted.

“No. We don’t even have to take our bras off if we don’t want to,” Emma assured her.

Gracie, now aware that they were no longer in Kensington, took in the neighborhood from the car. “Where are we?”

“We’re not sure,” Brianna giggled. “We drove around looking for somewhere different to stay last night. We didn’t feel like going back to Kensington.”

“Good,” Gracie echoed. “I hate Kensington. Are we going to stay here then?”

“I don’t see why not,” Brianna said without conviction, hoping that Emma agreed.

“Yep, I think we should stay here,” Emma pointed out. “Being back out in the ’burbs, we’ll have more places to park overnight. We’ll just have to be more careful during the day, because we risk standing out in the crowd.”

At its center, Ambler was a quaint little town. Main Street was lined with small shops and restaurants. The town’s east side, its better part, was primarily Italian. The west side, where the girls had parked, was a multi-cultural neighborhood. The only common factor that seemed to unite the people living there was their poverty.

It was Saturday and Emma and Brianna had four more days to go before amateur night at Double Visions. They had just enough money left to buy a few groceries and fill the car up with gas. That night, they drove over to Norristown. They parked on Main Street near Norristown Tattoo, a small local place known for its unique piercings and tattoos. Most of the locals went there and bikers came from all over the area to get their tattoos done by the parlor’s talented artists.

Gracie was fidgeting in the back of the car once they parked. “Emma, I don’t like being here. What if someone sees us and they try to make us go back and live with Mom?” she asked, remembering the shallow grave.

“Nothing is going to happen. Just relax. We’ll be out of here in no time,” her older sister assured her, prepared to do whatever she needed in order to keep Gracie out of harm’s way.

Brianna went up to her house alone, leaving Emma and Gracie in the car. Twenty-five minutes later she was back, carrying a large tote and two grocery bags. She got back into the car and yelled, “Wahoo! I got each of us an outfit and shoes. And I picked up some groceries that my mom will never miss.”

She pulled the outfits out of the tote. The first was a pair of denim cut-off shorts. From the size, Emma guessed they must have belonged to Brianna.

“They’re mine,” her friend said brightly. “I used to wear them about four years ago. I think they’ll still fit, but they’ll be really short for me, since I’m a little taller now.”

“Yeah, like a half inch taller than you were before,” Gracie joked as she laughed.

Brianna gave her a scornful look while Emma giggled along with her sister. Then for Emma, Brianna pulled out a black spandex miniskirt.

Emma laughed. “Oh, and I guess that’s mine? This skirt is barely going to cover my ass. I’m a lot taller than your mom, ya know.”

“That’s exactly the point,” Brianna shot back jovially. “Now, let’s see. I got you a leopard-print bra and thong to go with your outfit and a pair of my mom’s over-the-knee stiletto boots. I, on the other hand, have a red bra and thong. And these.” From the bag, she pulled out a pair of four-inch heels covered in red glitter. “What do ya think?” she asked.

“I think you make a damn good shopper!” Emma told her with pride. She turned to the backseat to look at Gracie, who was slumped down and sulking. “What’s wrong, Gracie?” she asked.

“Well, Brianna didn’t bring me anything,” she said, looking miserable. “So now you two have new stuff and I don’t.”

Brianna leaned over the backseat. “You didn’t think I’d forget our little sister, did you?” she said in an appeasing tone. From the bottom of the bag, she pulled out a fleece jacket, a pair of jeans, and a tee shirt that had a smiley face with a bullet wound through the forehead. The caption read: “Shit Happens.” She gave them to Gracie, who was delighted to have the second-hand clothes.

“Thanks, Brianna,” Gracie said shyly, almost snatching the “new” garments out of her hands in her eagerness.

With all of them satisfied and a bit happier, Brianna drove back toward Ambler. On the way the girls stopped at McDonald’s on Butler Avenue. Fast food was now a luxury they couldn’t afford, but they all thought they deserved a hot meal. It had been a rough two weeks for them, and Emma figured if they were eventually going to starve to death, they might as well enjoy one good meal before they died.

Their tolerance of living in a car was weakening. Everything was much more difficult, and the cramped space tested the girls’ nerves. Over time, the car that had once provided them their only shelter had become a prison. The interior now smelled like putrid meat with a hint of sweetness. Emma knew they all smelled as badly as the car itself. One time in a grocery store, waiting to buy a few things they’d picked up, a woman and her small child stood in line behind them. The woman watched them intently, her nose scrunched and her eyes unblinking. Finally Emma overheard the small child ask, “Mommy, what’s that smell? Did someone go poop in their diaper? It stinks in here.” It was clear to the girls how much they smelled. They all felt a little embarrassed as they paid for their groceries and quickly left the market.

They spent the next four nights moving from parking lots to street parking all over Ambler. On Thursday, the three of them snuck into the gym at Wissahickon High School and took showers. Again, they felt wonderful as days of living in a car washed off them and disappeared down the drain. The three of them had quickly learned that for people who didn’t have a home or money, the two greatest things in the world were eating and showering. It was a lesson that none of them would soon forget.

That night, they drove back to Double Visions. As the older girls got out of the car, Gracie poked her head out from under the sheet. “Break a leg and make us some money. I really need more burgers,” she teased.

Once inside the bar, they were escorted down to the dressing room. Alessa was there and greeted them warmly. “I’m so happy you two came back!” she exclaimed.

She stood talking to them as they got into their outfits, which would now be considered their “costumes.” When they were done, she brought them over to her station and pulled up two extra chairs. She dumped out a large bag filled with makeup and hair products. “You guys can use whatever you want,” she beamed, feeling good about helping them. When the time came for them to go on stage, Alessa walked them up to the bar. She herself was in costume under a silk robe that she planned to remove very slowly once she was up on stage. Jay had put Emma and Brianna on together at their request, and right before they went on stage, Alessa whispered to them, “If you two kiss up there, you’ll get big points with the crowd.”

“We can kiss, right?” Emma asked Brianna.

“Yeah, we can totally kiss. Just try not to give me too much tongue,” she joked.

Emma and Brianna entered the bar, and each took one of the stages. When the music began playing, they swayed the way they recalled some of the other girls doing. Now sure that they definitely had the crowd’s attention, Emma reached back and unhooked her bra. As she slid it off and her perfectly round breasts shot out, she rolled her head so that her beautiful long blond hair fanned across her face and finally settled down her back. The men erupted in a frenzy of yelling and hooting.

Brianna followed Emma’s lead and did the same. To her delight, the reaction was similar, although not quite as enthusiastic as the response Emma’s moves had gotten. Emma stepped down from the stage, walked over to Brianna, and took her hand. She pulled her friend down to her and they kissed. Emma was shocked that the kiss gave her such a wonderful feeling. Was it because she had, for the first time, kissed someone she actually loved? She did it again and liked it even better the second time.

By the time the music stopped, the girls were topless, their asses were hanging out, and they were completely electrified by the whole experience. They walked around the bar, squeezing their boobs together and collecting dollars from the men. From the way the crowd had cheered, they were both convinced they would win the contest. The girls didn’t know that after all the contestants had performed, the winner would be determined by the strength of the applause their performances received. They didn’t know either that every performer shrewdly brought along her own friends to cheer her so that the applause would tilt the verdict in her favor. In the end, it was a girl in her early twenties who was declared the winner. It seemed to Emma and Brianna that she was friends with half of the men in the bar. Clearly disappointed, the two girls started down the stairs to the dressing room to get changed before they left.

While they were on their way down, Shiver called out to them. “Girls! Hold up a minute, will you? Jay wants to talk to you.”

Confused, they followed her into the manager’s office.

“Soooo, did you guys have fun tonight?” he asked.

“It would have been a hell of a lot more fun if we had won,” Emma responded, “but we did collect a decent amount in tips. So that’s pretty cool.”

“Well, you did a really good job. The guys really liked you. If you’re interested, I can bring you on as a regular to dance. You work for tips. It’s your call.”

Brianna started to say something, but Emma cut her short. “Yes, we’d love to dance here,” she said. “When can we start?”