When Love Hurts and Ghosts Linger (18 page)

“Roooooooobbbbbyyyyyyynnnnn” a voice whispers my name.

My heart starts to pound and the table starts shaking, this seems scarier than before.

“Speak to me, I am your voice” she calls out.

But I don’t think whatever it was needed her, the room goes cold, freezing almost and for the first time I can see that Levi feels the cold too. He looks at me, terrified, as if to say 
‘is this what you have to put up with’
  I just nod yes to him and grip his hand.

“Robyn, he has your son in the darkness he dwells, he awaits you, he wants you”

I look around, I see no-one but I feel the coldness like its cutting through me like a knife. Levi is looking around; he’s shivering as he holds my hand.

“Where is he?” I say loudly but not shouting.

“He is in the darkness, where the land is grey and misty, where the pain and torture is inflicted on those he has stolen”

I break the circle, fuck this!

“ROBYN NO” the psychic screams.

The wind picks up; it’s fierce and raging through the flat like and angry storm set out to kill anyone in its path.

“WHERE IS MY SON” I shout over the sounds of the gustily wind.

I look and things are flying everywhere, Levi is suddenly picked up by something that I cannot quite see.

“LEVI” I scream out.

I try to make my way over to him but things in this fucking hurricane are forcing me back. I use every part of me that I have to push through it and finally I reach him.

“LET HIM GO”

I try to pull on him but this thing has too much of a tight grip, I want to cry and beg and scream and shout but I need to save Levi, how is all this fucking happening right now.

“I COMMAND YOU TO RETURN FROM WHENCE YOU CAME AND LEAD US TO THAT WHICH WE SEEK” the psychic screams out with her hands in the air.

There is a sudden burst and the windows smash causing everyone to duck down to protect themselves. I look up and this thing is taking Levi, before I can save him he’s gone too.

The storm inside the flat calms and things are a complete mess, paper, furniture and god knows what all over the floor. 

“WHAT DID YOU DO” I scream at the woman.

“You broke the circle Robyn, I told you before not to do that….” She says harshly.

I breakdown, my son and m partner, both gone, if they are trying to break me it’s beginning to work, I don’t know how I can do this, what if I have to choose? I will choose my son all day long of course I will but letting go of Levi will break my heart.

“I have to get to them” I panic.

The psychic grabs me “Yes my dear you do but you’re a mess right now and you need to calm, going into the darkness like that will only make you weaker, he will play on your emotions, your mind and your fears.”

I take a deep breath “Ok, I can do this, I know I can do this, I think I can do this”

“There is no room for doubt, believe in yourself, like your son and Levi do” she looks at me with warm eyes.

Levi has always said how much he believes and Jack dotes on me, I know this, I feel it when I’m with him, I know I can do this, I don’t know how exactly but I can do this.

My Nans words echo through my head 
‘you’re stronger than he is, he has them to make him stronger on this side but he’s not of the living, you are, you will figure this out.’

Once I am there I’m sure it will all come to me, well I hope it will, I won’t let him hurt my little boy and I won’t let him hurt Levi, I’d die for them.

Maybe that’s what he wants, he wants me to die so he can have my son, I won’t give him what he wants, I will fight until I know Jack is safe and I will try my hardest to get Levi out. I’m going in with the intention of saving them both, not one or the other.

“Now we have to call out to them and they have to take you, that's how to get there”

“Ok” I nod.

My body is slightly shaking, from fear or the cold I don’t know.

“I’ll take her” a voice speaks behind me.

I turn and there he is, Jay, looking just as minging as the last time I saw him. He floats towards me.

“I told you Robyn….” His voice is sad.

“Yes, yes I know I don’t need a lecture from you right now, I need to save my son and I need to save Levi now are you going to help me or just float there having a go at me?” I snap back.

He looks shocked “Of course I will help you, I learnt a lot travelling back and forth, that’s why I came here, now before we go, it’s different there, it’s cold, it’s dark, I never wanted you to go there you know that”

“I know, but I don’t have a choice” I look at him pleading for his help.

“Ok, I’m only here because of you, I snuck out as he is, well, occupied, so I want you to take my hand” he holds out his disintegrating hand.

I go to take it but my hand falls straight through, he’s a ghost silly of course I can’t grab his hand.

“I can’t you’re a ghost, you’re just nothing” I state frustrated.

“Robyn concentrate, if you can’t take my hand how do you suppose I get you there or you defend yourself if you believe you can’t touch us? You have to believe you can touch us!” He looks serious.

He’s right, they’ve all been able to touch me somehow, I’ve never worked out how but I have always felt their cold chill whenever they touched me and they have been able to move things and Ivan has even attacked me.

I take a deep breath and think of my Nan’s words, I reach out once more to grasp him, I feel his hand close around mine and I feel my hand in his as if he was alive.

I look at him pleased with myself and he gives me an approving look, a sort of 
‘well done I’m proud’  
look in only the way he can.

“Before we go, once we are there, you are on your own, as soon as I step back there I will be pulled to the darkness, it's like he sucks us back to him, to where he needs us, it takes so much strength to get here but I do it for you, remember Robyn, you are strong” he says encouragingly and warning me.

I will be in this place all on my own, with no help, just me, I have to do this, I have to do this for my boys.

“Remember you are strong” the psychic repeats behind me.

“You ready?” Jay asks.

I nod in agreement and feel the hurricane once again, the wind swirling around fiercely that it takes my breath away. Jay is looking at me, I try to keep my eyes open but the wind is strong, I close my eyes and it goes black.

I feel cold but I’m ok, I feel slightly weird, I open my eyes, its grey and misty all around, like a fog has fallen, the trees are black and the place seems ghostly, empty almost.

I know I'm where I am meant to be, I look around observing my surroundings, behind me is road that seems to go on forever, I think that is the way I came in, in-front of me is what appears to be an old town leading up to a black castle on top of icy mountains.

Mist surrounds me with the distance sounds of screams, it isn’t loud, they sound really far away, must be coming from the castle.

Above me is nothing, just blackness, not a sky, not a star just pure blackness. I cannot see Jay anywhere but then again he did say I would be on my own for this and I don’t know how long I have been lying on the floor.

Even I look grey here, I look at myself, my clothes are dull, no colour, my skin is pale grey, it is as if this place, this world, whatever it is, has an effect on you, it makes you feel like you are nothing, I feel like I shouldn’t move from this spot, like I should just give up, where the fuck have those feelings come from? It’s here in this miserable place.

I shake of this feeling, this thing that is trying to make me give up, why would it want to do that, they need my soul. I walk through the ghostly town, I see grey/blue images in the corners crying, they all have one arm missing and that neck wound.

Ivan is keeping them here against their will, how can they become his army when it is clear that they just don’t want to, does he force them to do his bidding because he has some sort of control? I don’t know and to be honest I don’t want to stop and ask.

I walk slowly through the mist, I can see the lights flickering inside the castle but it’s hard to see anything at eye level, it's just too foggy, I can see but not very much.

A dog runs passed me, it stumps me for a moment, why would there be a dog down here? Maybe he is just trying to play with my mind, 
‘this isn’t real’ 
I tell myself in my head 
‘it’s just an illusion’  
but the thing is, this place, it is real, it’s a ghostly world I have been dragged into because some fucking ghost can’t accept the fact he is dead.

This town is long, boarded up houses on either side of me, ghosts floating all around with such sadness on their faces. Something catches my attention, a woman in the window of one of the houses, I don’t know why but I’m drawn to her. I make my way towards the house, the door opens easily, go figure!

Entering I see furniture, it’s all covered up with black sheets, they could have been white at one point who knows, this town isn’t exactly what you would expect to go wandering in on a daily basis is it?

There is what appears to be dust everywhere on everything and the floor boards’ creek as you walk over them. I make my way up the stairs to the room I saw the woman in. As I approach the landing I hear heavy breathing and a sigh.

Why am I doing this? I need to find my boys! But for some reason I keep walking towards this room.

There by the window is a woman, she is dressed in what can only be described as her pyjamas and she is missing an arm, of course she is otherwise she wouldn’t be stuck here. She is old from what I can see behind her and her hair is a mess, like she was sleeping and then brought here.

“You have come finally” she whispers.

“Uhhh yeah, I’m here” I reply cautiously.

“Jay said you would come”

I frown confused “You know Jay?”

The woman turns, to my horror it’s his mum, “Oh my god, Ruth?”

I didn’t even know she had died; I’m such a bad person for not going to visit her but so many things were happening, tears fill up in my eyes and I push my lips together to stop from screaming in shock.

She smiles at me softly, “Don’t be sad my darling, you need to be strong, I have seen who they have brought and you will get them back, I know what happened to Jay and I know you did what you could, I’m not mad at you, please my darling, don’t cry.”

Her words are sort of soothing, of course at the time I couldn’t tell her how her son died no matter how much I wanted to.

“I should have been there for you, I’m so sorry” my voice low.

She lifts my head “Shhh, it’s ok; I know you will free us all.”

Well that’s just added to the amount of pressure, am I meant to free all these ghosts too? I didn’t even think of what would happen to those he already captured and those who had asked me for help, then again I was told once I will free them.

I give her a soft smile and leave, I have to make my way through this shithole and get to that fucking castle. Many obstacles are in my way, floating ghosts, things running past and then things seem to come to life and if people are relieving how they died. It’s awful but I cannot let it distract me anymore. 

Finally I reach the bottom of the mountain, it looks a long way up, there are what appears to be steps to climb all the way up to the main entrance.

“Fuck me” I state to myself.

I can’t remember the last time I went to the gym and now I have to climb all these steps, I take a deep breath, I’m doing this for Jack and Levi, I’ve made it this far without so much as a peep from Ivan or that hooded figure yet, I’m not giving up now.

I make my way up the steps, it’s exhausting, they seem to go on forever and ever, maybe it’s just my mind, maybe they don’t and here it just appears like they do.

I move a little faster, thinking of Jack and Levi is giving me the strength to do this. I hear something behind me, I don’t know what it is but it’s some weird sound. 

I turn and to my horror behind me are what appears to be thousands of black spiders heading fast towards me, I fucking hate spiders, I start running up the stairs as fast as my legs will take me but these little critters out run me and before I know it they are all over my feet and then up my legs.

I’m screaming and shaking trying to get them off me but they don’t seem to be shifting, my heart is pounding and I feel like they are crawling inside of me.

“GET OFF, STOP IT” I scream as loud as I can.

I shake my body and tell myself it isn’t real and with that they disappear. I’m breathing so heavy I need to calm down before I begin to hyperventilate. This place, wherever I am, it plays tricks on your mind.

‘Think of Jack, think of Levi and get up’  
I think to myself. I get up and look around, I can’t believe it, I’m almost there!

I hear the sounds of screams and crying getting louder as I get closer to the top, I don’t know what is waiting for me beyond those walls but I can’t show them my fear, even though right now I am fucking terrified.

After what feels like forever of climbing I reach the top, I catch my breath, I don’t want to be out of breath when I walk in there. I hear someone call my name from behind me.

As I turn there are dead heads surrounding me on spikes, suddenly I’m in the middle of them all and I cannot see a way out.

They are covered on blood, their eyes closed and guts and god knows what is dripping from their neck wounds.

“AHHHHHHHHH GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!” I scream in fear.

They are gone! Another illusion to frighten me, I am scared, in-fact I am beyond terrified but I am not letting them take my fucking son.

I get to the castle, it’s huge, I’m by the door, these big tall brown cast iron doors. I’m going in, in my mind I wish right now I had help but I don’t, I’m alone, just me, I hope I make it out of this.

As I enter I am in a grand hallway, it goes on with a red carpet underneath, candles burning all the way down the walls and yet it still seems dark, the walls are black that’s why, black and running with blood.