Whatever It Takes (Second Chances #2) (2 page)

I would know her anywhere.

The breath left my body.

Tess. She was standing right there in front of me. I’d thought about this moment, about seeing her again, but nothing could have prepared me for the way the ground tilted. Or when a giant invisible vacuum sucked all the sound and light from around me and left me in some black void.

“Candy?” the boy asked again.

“No candy today, Noah.” Her voice rasped against my skin, and I clenched my fingers around the handle of the basket. Her gaze barely skirted higher than my chin, but I still waited for her to recognize me. For a smile. Or a glare. Something that told me she knew who I was.

She didn’t actually look at me, but I couldn’t look away from her. It had been seven years since I’d seen her. She’d moved to Granite Estates to live with her grandmother when she was eight. Three trailers down from me. I couldn’t remember how many summers I spent sitting on her porch sipping sweet lemonade. She was the first girl Seth and I let hang out with us, and she was the first girl I fell in love with when I was fifteen and she was fourteen.

Friendship had turned into love over the years, and I was convinced that we were it. We were going to be the ones who were together forever. Then her grandma got sick and she told me she was going to live with her father. She promised that wouldn’t change anything.

The day she drove off with him, the day after freshman year ended, I believed her with all my heart. And for a while, it seemed like nothing had changed. We still talked every day. She came back to see me, and I took her out on the weekends.

When school started back up, she went to the fancy private academy where her father was a teacher. She stopped calling every day because the coursework was ten times harder than it had been at our public school.

But I still believed her when she said she loved me.

Then something changed. We barely ever saw each other, and when I would call, her father said she was out with friends. It took me six months to figure out the obvious. Six fucking months to stop believing what she had promised me the day she left Granite Estates.

I looked at the kid, Noah, to distract the direction of my thoughts. He had dark brown eyes, the same shade as Tess’s. It hit me in the gut and I almost dropped the basket. This had to be her son.

Questions burned on my tongue. I stared at the back of her head, willing her to turn around again and look at me.

“That’ll be sixty-two fifty-five,” the cashier interrupted.

From behind I saw her shoulders drop. She looked at the belt where the bagger had put almost everything away. “Could you put back the face wipes, please?” she asked quietly.

The cashier looked at the bagger, who exhaled and started digging through the bags. The person behind me groaned. Tess must have heard, because the back of her neck turned fiery red. I wanted to turn around and tell that person to go the fuck right to hell. I might not know what Tess was doing here, but I knew what it felt like to be belittled.

The bagger finally found the face wipes and the cashier swiped them, then set them under the register. “Fifty-seven twenty-two.”

Tess handed her three twenties. As soon as she got her receipt, she ducked her head and pushed the cart away. She didn’t look back at me, didn’t look anywhere but at her hands as she and Noah disappeared out the door. Again the feeling struck me that this was all wrong. She was not the Tess I remembered.

This Tess seemed tired. Defeated.

I stared after her until the cashier cleared her throat. I’d been standing there holding my basket full of stuff like a dumb-ass. I set my things on the conveyor belt and tucked the basket underneath it.

“Forty-eight eighty-two,” the cashier said. I don’t know what the hell made me do it, but before I could decide otherwise, I opened my mouth. “Add those face wipes on too, will you?”

“The ones that girl left?” the cashier asked. I could see the confusion on her face.

“Yep. And one more candy bar.” I grabbed another peanut butter cup as the woman dressed in a hideous pink velour tracksuit behind me sighed. I looked over my shoulder and smiled the most insincere fucking smile I could manage. “So sorry. Am I keeping you from your hair appointment?”

Her derisive return snort made my day.

The cashier dug the wipes out from under the counter, scanned them and the candy bar, and then gave me my new total. I paid the girl and grabbed my bags, then walked as fast as I could to the doors. I thought I caught a glimpse of a green jacket a little farther down and headed in that direction.

It was like fifteen-year-old Ryan had climbed inside my skin and was driving me toward where Tess loaded her things into a shitty white Honda. I was surprised. I’d expected her to be driving some fancy Mercedes SUV by now.

By the time adult Ryan realized what a crap-assed mistake this was, teenage Ryan had stopped just behind Tess. She slammed the trunk shut and turned to reach for Noah.

That’s when she saw me. And took a step in front of Noah and reached into her purse. I was pretty sure I was about five seconds away from getting maced. I held up my hands, with grocery bags dangling from them, and gave her a half smile.

“Hey, Tess.”

Her hand froze and her eyebrows dipped down. For the first time, she looked straight into my eyes. I waited for the flicker of recognition. My heart thundered against my ribs. It was pretty obvious I’d made a huge mistake.

“I, ah, got these. For you.” I moved the bags to one hand, reached into one and pulled out the wipes and candy bar. Noah immediately reached for the candy and pulled it from my hand. I barely noticed. Tess was looking at me, and I couldn’t look away. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen when we were young, but now?

Now she was the most beautiful woman on the planet.

When she saw the wipes her lips turned down but her chin shot up. “We don’t need charity.”

“It was just an excuse to talk to you. A dumb mistake obviously.” I shook my head. “Enjoy the candy bar, buddy,” I said to Noah. I allowed myself one last look at Tess. I guess seven years is long enough to forget someone who never really mattered much. That burn of not being good enough, one that I had put behind me until right this second, filled my chest. “Good to see you again, Tess.”

Then I turned and started to walk away.

“Ryan?” Her voice was so low that I thought I imagined it. “Ryan.” Louder now and impossible to resist, I stopped. “It is you, isn’t it?” Her voice shook, but still I didn’t turn around. From the moment I saw her in that line, I hadn’t been thinking straight.

What had I expected when I came over?

That she would be glad to see me? That she might tell me she was sorry she stopped calling me without any kind of explanation as to why? What kind of asshole was I to hold on to a broken heart for so long?

She told me a week before she left that her father had money, and even though she never really knew him growing up, he had promised her the best education and a real house in a nice neighborhood and a private school.

That if she lived with him she could really be someone, go places, do things. Things that didn’t include me, apparently. She hadn’t said as much, but I could see it written all over her face—Tess wanted out of her trailer-park life more than she wanted me, and this was her ticket.

Despite her promises.

I didn’t ever tell her that I was afraid I was going to lose her. And then I did. For seven years I wondered if she had done all the things she’d wanted to.

I had the chance to ask her now, but it didn’t even seem important. Resentment burned in my gut as I finished crossing the distance to my truck without looking back and threw my bags into the bed. I knew she was still watching me, because I could feel her gaze like a physical touch.

I jammed the key in the ignition and lowered the window as soon as it started.

Don’t look back
.

And then I heard it.

Ticktickticktick
.

I knew that sound. Someone’s starter was shot. The back of my neck prickled. No way. But I knew the sound had to be coming from the white Honda. Because that was my fucking luck today.

Ticktickticktick.

Tess could crank the key all she wanted, but there was no way in hell the car was going to start. I banged my head on the steering wheel. What kind of fucked-up universe does something like this?

I could just drive away. She could call whomever she had in her life now and I wouldn’t have to get my hands dirty again. Except I already knew what I was going to do. I turned my key and the engine went quiet.

There was a damsel in distress, and me, I was the fucking knight in shining armor.

CHAPTER THREE

tess

I
was shaking so badly I didn’t know if it was my car or my hands giving me the problem.

I could have handled running into anyone from my past except for him. Anyone but Ryan in a discount grocery store. I still hadn’t reconciled the fact that he had been standing close enough to touch only a few minutes ago. Close enough to see the hurt in his eyes when I didn’t recognize him.

It wasn’t my fault. Not really. He’d changed so much from the scrawny kid I grew up with in that run-down trailer park. His shoulders were broad and the T-shirt he had on stretched taut over muscles that had not been there before. The angles of his chin were covered in a shadow of stubble and his dirty-blond hair curled out from under his ball cap.

I thought he was just some guy being a guy. It wasn’t until he lifted his chin up enough and I could see his deep brown eyes that the flicker of recognition shook me to the bone.

I would have known it was him in an instant if I’d gotten more than three hours of sleep last night. When he stood right in front of me, close enough that I could see the flecks of green and gold mixed in with the deep chocolate color, I remembered.

And it felt like someone kicked me in the gut.

It had been seven years, yet it felt like only yesterday now. As I stared into the eyes of the first boy I loved, the one I had planned my forever with, the pain of leaving him in that godforsaken trailer park for what I’d thought was the faraway castle that held all my dreams shot straight into my heart. It hadn’t been my choice, not really; when my father had come for me, I wasn’t in a place to say no. But I’d be lying if I said a small part of me hadn’t been excited to see what was waiting outside the tiny trailer park where I’d lived with Gran—I would miss Ryan, but nothing would really change, and I’d finally live the life I’d always dreamed of.

What a fucking joke.

By the time I realized all that, it was too late. Years had passed and I’d given up the best thing in my life pursuing my father’s dreams, never my own. And the irony was that it had been my father who had ruined my chances at that bright future. Everything was gone in a blink. College. Scholarships. Freedom.

So of course life had to kick me when I was down and send the boy who made my fourteen-year-old heart race back into my life at its lowest point.

I took a deep breath and focused on the situation at hand: getting the hell out of this parking lot.

I turned the key. All I heard was a ticking sound. I tried again. The same.

I’d just spent my last sixty on groceries, and I didn’t work again until Wednesday.

I lowered my head to my crossed arms.

Shit.

One break. Why couldn’t I catch just one break?

Tears burned my eyes.

“Is the car broked again?” Noah asked innocently.

I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw him with chocolate smeared all over his face. From the candy bar Ryan brought him because I didn’t even have enough for a goddamned piece of chocolate. The tears splashed free and streamed down my face.

I had no one to call for help. No money to pay for a cab, and definitely no money to pay for more repairs. I took a ragged breath in. We lived about four blocks away. Could I walk it with the groceries
and
Noah?

Before I could decide, someone tapped on the window.

I looked over to see Ryan leaning down, peering in at me. I guess the universe hadn’t had its fill of screwing with me today. There was something in his eyes that looked too much like concern, so I quickly wiped my face and rolled down the window.

Ryan leaned in and put his hand on my shoulder. It was bigger now, and warm, and for one second I basked in the feelings his touch ignited. I had the sudden urge to move my own hand up to cover his, but panic, exhaustion, desperation, and hopelessness kept my hands immobile in my lap. How long had it been since anyone had touched me?

I tried to convince myself it was worth the sacrifice, but right at this moment, I wished more than anything I
did
have time for me, for my needs. At least for someone to lean on for thirty seconds.

“Pop the hood, Tess,” Ryan said slowly. “I’ll take a look.”

So I did, because Ryan always had a way of taking control of the situation, and he had only gotten better at it with time. It was just a few words, but they made me feel safe. Which made no sense at all, considering that he probably couldn’t care less about me anymore.

Our past was in the past.

He sauntered to the front of the car and flipped his cap around before pulling up the hood and ducking under it.

Let it be a loose wire.

God, please let it be a loose wire, because after I pay Louisa I’ve got only enough left for gas and the electric bill this week.

Ryan was back way too soon. “Just like I thought. Your starter is shot.”

My stomach sank. I had no idea what that was, but it sounded like an expensive repair. “Is that something that costs a lot?”

“Looking at over three hundred with labor, probably. If nothing else is wrong.”

I crossed my arms over the steering wheel and dropped my head again. Three hundred dollars? Fresh tears burned the backs of my eyes. I could not get ahead. Every time I managed to eke out a tiny bit of savings, something happened and it was gone; the problems never stopped.

My father’s words echoed in my head.
Show me something worth looking at or I’ll make the hard decisions for you
. How the hell was I supposed to pull things together when they kept falling apart?

“Tess?” His voice had gone lower, more gravelly, and it was all I could do not to burst into ugly tears. Why now? Why here? Because yes, I had dreamed about seeing Ryan again one day. About what I’d say to him.

None of this was part of that dream.

I took a wobbly breath in and blinked a few times.

“It’s fine,” I said hoarsely. “I’ll just call a cab and a tow truck.” I tried to smile, but my lips trembled. My gaze skirted past his. I could do neither, not without money. But he didn’t need to know that.

I needed him to walk away.

Right now.

“I can get a starter for about fifty bucks,” he said. “And it would take me about an hour to put it in. Save you some aggravation trying to find a place open on the weekend that can get you in fast. I could fix it in your own driveway if you want.”

It took a moment for his words to sink in. Fifty dollars? If I pushed back the electric bill by a week, I could manage that. But why?

He had to hate me, because I hated me too, for what I did. For letting him slip out of my life without much of an effort to hold on to him.

I lifted my head. His gaze was steady and I saw no judgment in his eyes. “You’re a mechanic?” It would stand to reason. He was always very good with his hands. I dropped my gaze to them without meaning to, remembering . . .

“Nope, I work construction.” His voice pulled my attention back to his face. “But I know my way around these older-model cars.”

“Why?” I asked. “Why would
you
help
me
?” I met his eyes, defiant. I wouldn’t let anyone take pity on me, not even Ryan.

“Jesus, Tess.” He took his cap off and scrubbed his fingers through his hair. It stuck up in all directions before he slid his hat back on. “You looked like you could use a break today. That’s all.”

I’d spent years taking care of myself and prided myself on being independent. Cinderella I was not, but somehow Prince Charming had appeared in the parking lot of a discount grocery store on a Friday. In the form of Ryan. The last person I ever expected to see again.

I wanted to tell him thanks but no thanks, because being this close to him made my chest ache, but I couldn’t. He was offering me a lifeline and I was adrift in the middle of the ocean. Something had to give soon, and I was pretty sure it was going to be my sanity.

“You going to fix our car, mister?” Noah asked before I could answer. He kicked his feet into the back of my seat, and when I peered into the rearview mirror, I saw his messy face grinning back at me.

Ryan chuckled. “Still waiting on the answer to that one.” He met my gaze and gave me this questioning lopsided grin that made my pulse leap. Why didn’t he hate me? It would be so much easier to turn down his invitation and pretend I never even ran into him. Because after years of wondering about the man he would turn into, he stood right there next to my car and I could not deny he had it all going for him.

I swallowed and drew in a quick breath to steady the thumping in my chest.

Think of Noah
, I admonished myself. Was pushing Ryan away still going to feel good when we didn’t have a way to get around, or couldn’t make one of the bills piling up on our table? Was I really going to torture myself in the name of survival?

“Yeah, he’s going to fix our car.” I could handle one afternoon of being around him. When he was done, he’d leave, and that would be it.

Ryan smiled that stupid smile again. “Do you have Triple A?” he asked.

I almost laughed. That was a luxury I couldn’t afford. Along with dozens of other things I once had but didn’t anymore. “No.”

Something passed over his face. Some emotion that I couldn’t quite figure out. Working at the club made me pretty good at reading people, but I didn’t get that one.

“I have a buddy with a tow truck who owes me a favor. Let me give him a call, and then I can take you guys home. That way I’ll know where to come by to fix it. If that’s okay?”

I nodded and opened the door. He reached in to help me out of the car.

His hand was warm and calloused, and I ignored the way my arm tingled from just a touch. It had been so long since I’d felt anything other than exhaustion that it took me a second to pull my hand away.

God, how long had it been since . . . I shook my head. Too long. That had to be why my body was running hot. I took a shaky breath in and hoped he didn’t notice. As I got Noah and his seat from my car, Ryan grabbed the groceries from the trunk.

“Leave the keys under the visor,” he said. “And if there’s anything valuable, you might want to grab it just in case. Not the best neighborhood.”

I almost laughed again. Unless my Taylor Swift CD counted, I had nothing worth anything.

“I’m good.” I tucked the keys where he said and then took Noah’s sticky hand. I followed Ryan across the parking lot to a black jacked-up truck that had to have cost a fortune. Obviously he’d done well for himself. It made me strangely happy that he had.

Especially because it meant my father had been so wrong.

Soon after I’d moved in with my dad, my father asked what Ryan’s plans for the future were. I didn’t have an answer, because Ryan still wasn’t sure. I knew he could do anything he set his mind to, but my father questioned how he would even afford college.

The next time I saw Ryan I asked him. He didn’t know and I told him it was important to make a decision. High school wouldn’t last forever. I’d already taken on extra coursework to pad my transcripts, at my father’s urging. He said if I applied myself 100 percent, I could aim for the Ivy Leagues.

That was something I never even dared to dream about.

He encouraged me to join after-school clubs that would look good on an application. Community service. Student council. Before I knew it, my schedule was full. Something had to give and somehow, my father managed to convince me it was Ryan.

The worse part about all of it was that he never expressly forbade me from seeing Ryan. The choice to move on with my life had been all mine when I got too busy with everything else in my new life. My father had convinced me that Ryan was not part of my future without ever saying those words.

Seeing Ryan now, the confident, successful man standing in front of me, made me strangely proud of him. My father was so wrong.

But then, he’d been wrong about a lot of things. And I was the one paying the price.