What To Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection Part Two (193 page)

“Why do you think you didn’t love her? Was it her? Or was it you?”

I felt Garrett’s entire body stiffen up at Helen’s question.

“I couldn’t put my heart out there again. I wasn’t ready. I was still. . .” He looked over at me. “I was still grieving.”

A single tear ran down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away before either of them could see it.

“What were you grieving?”

He ran his hand through his hair. “Everything. . . My leg, combat, the life I once had, the life I almost had.” He paused. “The life of our baby.”

“And now?” Helen asked softly.

“Now. . . I got my Babe back,” he said smiling at me. “I am ready to start my life with her.” He raised my hand to his mouth kissing it softly.

“Leila, how does what Garrett just shared with us make you feel?” Helen asked.

“It breaks my heart to know he spent time with someone else, someone that loved him,” I said softly. “But I don’t have anyone to blame but myself.”

“Leila you and Garrett are not here to blame one another and that is not what he just did. You two are here to heal and work through these things together. I already told you it wasn’t going to be easy.”

“I know,” I said, hanging my head.

“Leila you need to let go of the guilt. Garrett has already said he has forgiven you, now it is time for you to forgive yourself. I want to see you both back in two weeks.”

As we left Helen’s office, I felt like my head was spinning. I wasn’t exactly sure what just happened and again, I was feeling broken hearted by his words. I was beginning to really question if we were going to be able to move on from all of this.

“Leila? What’s the matter?” He asked with concern in his voice.

I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

He stopped me in the hallway of Helen’s office building. “It’s obviously something, Leila. Please tell me.”

“Can we talk when we get home? I really don’t want to do this here,” I pleaded.

He sighed. “Sure but I’m not letting this go you remember what Helen said. We need to keep communicating to each other and right now you are shutting me out.”

I sat silent in the car the entire ride back to my apartment rehearsing exactly what I was going to say. I knew he was going to grill me as soon as we set foot in my apartment. To be completely honest, I didn’t even know what was wrong. I was feeling jealous because some girl fell in love with him. I was angry that I fucked everything up between us. Then it dawned on me. I was upset and angry because what if he would have fallen in love with her too? My stomach began to turn, and I immediately rolled down the window for some fresh air.

“You need me to pull over? You don’t look too good.”

“No. I’m fine. Just get me home.”

I felt the car accelerate as he took my hand in his gently rubbing his thumb in my palm. Just the touch of his hand on mine made the butterflies in my stomach flutter. I couldn’t help but wonder if she had the same feeling when he touched her. I shifted around in my seat trying to stay calm, but I could feel my anger building inside. I had no one to be angry at but myself, but I couldn’t help it.

Garrett pulled into the parking lot, and I shot out of the car and raced up the stairs to my apartment. The only thing I could think about was him with her. Holding her hand, kissing her, touching her. How far did he go with her?
Fucking Helen!
I stepped through my door and immediately hit up the cabinet that held my vodka bottle. As I poured myself a shot Garrett walked in.

“What the fuck, Leila?”

“What?” I said as I raised the glass to my mouth.

“Is this how you are going to solve all your problems? By taking a shot every time something is bothering you?” His voice was getting louder.

“I don’t solve all my problems with drinking,” I snapped back.

“Oh really?” He said taking the shot glass from my hand. He leaned in close to me and led me to the couch. “Will you please talk to me? I can’t fix it or make you feel better if you shut me out.”

I let out a huge sigh and followed his lead to the couch. He sat down and pulled me onto his lap leaning his head into mine. “Spill it.”

I shook my head. “You are going to think it is the stupidest thing in the world.”

“How do you know that?” He smiled.

“Because it is the stupidest thing in the world.” I said rolling my eyes trying to get away from him.

“Let me be the judge of that,” he said pulling me into him then pushing my hair behind my ear. “Tell me, Babe.”

“I’m jealous.”

“You’re what?” He laughed.

“I’m jealous,” I repeated pushing myself off his lap.

He began to laugh even harder and pulled me back onto him.

“What the fuck are you jealous about? I’m sorry I’m laughing but you really have me confused.”

“You and that girl. . . I can’t stand the thought of her loving you.” I snapped.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. I am serious. The thought of her touching and kissing you. UGH!”

“Babe, she was nothing. She meant nothing. I told you in Helen’s office I couldn’t give my heart to her, it was still with you. Please let this go.” He moved his head closer to mine and slowly and gently kissed my cheek. “I love you,” he whispered in my ear. “I always have and I always will.”

I slowly closed my eyes and exhaled, it felt like the weight of the world was just lifted off my shoulders by hearing him say those words. “I love you too.

G
arrett and I were having a lazy Saturday afternoon lying on the couch watching what he called
chick flicks
on Lifetime when my phone buzzed. I glanced over at my phone on the end table.

“Oh it’s Nicole,” I said excitedly. I hadn’t talked to her in ages. Garrett had been taking up most of my free time.

“Oh Yeah? What’s she up to?” Garrett said with his head resting on my legs.

Nicole—

Sup beoytche. You guys wanna go out tonight? I really want you to meet Michael. Dinner and then to a club?

Me—

Yah! I wanna go. Let’s see what baby bitch over here says . . .
I may have to entice him.

Nicole—

You better take one for the team and get your ass out with me tonight.

Me—

OK. Here goes nothing. BRB.

I looked back at Garrett. “She wants to know if we want to go out tonight with her and Michael. Dinner and dancing. . .” I said holding my breath. I knew this was going to over like a lead balloon. Garrett hated dancing. I looked down at him giving him my best pouty face. “Please. . .”

He let out a huge gasp and rolled his eyes. “Fine. . . I’ll go. You’re going to owe me,” he said, giving me a wink.

Me—

We’re in! What time and where?

Nicole—

How about that new steak place Texas Rodeo? 7ish.

Me—

Hell Yes! That’s the place with the mechanical bull? We are so there! I can’t wait to meet Michael. We’ll see you @ 7.

Looking down at Garrett, I gave him a huge smile. “Thanks Baby.” I leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. “I’m really excited to finally meet Michael. She really likes him. He’s all she talks about.”

“Anyone is better than that dude she dated when you guys were in high school. That guy was a fucking douche bag. What was his name?”

“Matt. Ugh, you had to bring him up,” I sneered.

Matt was Nicole’s first love and he treated her like shit and things with Garrett and Matt didn’t end well.

I never really knew Matt that well. He had transferred to our school our junior year. I can remember so clearly Nicole’s reaction the first time she saw him in the hallway.

“Who . . . Is . . . That,” she said nearly drooling.

I turned in the direction she was looking. “Oh, that’s the new kid. He’s in my Bio class. I think his name is Matt.”

“And why didn’t you tell me about him?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking hmmmm. . . He would be perfect for Nicole, right before I took my Bio test,” I said jokingly.

I could tell by the look in her eyes, she was interested. If Nicole was anything, she was determined. When she had her sights set on something or someone she was bound and determined to get it. She pursued him for over a month until she finally got him to ask her out. It didn’t take Nicole too long to start wearing his football jacket and class ring. The more she saw Matt the less I saw of her. He began to become very possessive of her, and he almost seemed jealous of our friendship. He wouldn’t let her hang out with me and Garrett because he didn’t like the fact that Garrett was older than us and that his friends hung out with us.

On the few occasions that the four of us did go out, Matt made no attempts to even get to know us. I tried my best to strike up conversations with him, but he would reply with one or two word answers. After a while, I just gave up and would act like he wasn’t even there. Needless to say, our double dates ended rather quickly.

I was glad to see Nicole so happy, but on the other hand, I really missed seeing and talking to her all of the time. We had been inseparable for so many years we were more like sisters than friends. Neither of us had the heart to mention going out on any more double date. We both made up excuses on why we couldn’t go to spare the other’s feelings.

Matt was one of the star players on our high school football team, and Nicole managed to drag me to all the home games to watch him play. One Friday night I even convinced Garrett to come to the game with us, he was less than thrilled, but he went anyway.

After the game, there was a huge party in the woods celebrating the upcoming playoff game. If our team won the next game, they would be headed to the state championships. After the game ended the three of us headed to the woods. Matt texted Nicole after the game telling her he would meet up with her at the party. He told her the coaches wanted to go over the game with the team.

By the time we arrived at the party the majority of the junior and senior classes were already there. By the looks of it some of them had skipped the game and came straight here. We walked up to one of my classmates who was collecting $7.00 a head to drink. Somehow someone managed to get five kegs of beer. Garrett paid for the three of us, and we headed for the kegs.

“Hey, I see some of the player’s girlfriends over there, I’m going to say hi,” Nicole said to me.

“Okay.” I turned to Garrett and rolled my eyes.

“What’s the matter?”

“Oh nothing, they’re a bunch of stuck up bitches. If I knew she was going to ditch us as soon as we got here I wouldn’t have come.”

“Well, we’re here now so let’s have some drinks.” Garrett pulled me close to him hugging me tightly.

We mingled through the crowd and talked to some of my classmates. We ran into Howie and Joe, a couple of guys Garrett had become friendly with after attending other parties and school events, I had dragged him to. We hung around with them for about an hour before we both started to get bored.

I looked around the party and noticed Nicole hanging with her new friends, and I was pissed. I watched her from a distance she kept checking her watch and anxiously looking around. Matt and the other players still hadn’t shown up yet. Apparently, their football meeting was pretty damn important. This party was being held in honor of the football team.

Garrett leaned into me and asked me if I wanted to go. I felt relieved. I was so ready to go. I took him by the hand and led him to the opening in the woods. He pulled me to him. “Don’t you want to say bye to Nicole?”

I rolled my eyes. “She seems to be getting along just fine without me.”

“Leila, don’t be like that, you need to tell her we are leaving so she isn’t looking for us. Come on let’s go over and say goodbye,” he said leading me towards Nicole and her new friends.

We heard all sorts of cheering and we turned our heads to where the sound was coming from. It was Matt and the rest of the football players headed our way.

“Who the fuck is with Matt?” I said staring in shock.

I quickly glanced at Nicole hoping she wasn’t seeing what I was seeing. Matt had arrived with some girl. Both of her arms wrapped around his waist, and she was kissing his neck. Matt and the rest of the team where high fiving everyone in celebration of their victory. Matt especially seemed to be enjoying himself laughing and having a great ole time with his teammates. By the look on Nicole’s face, it was obvious she saw what was going on and took off into the dark woods.

“What the fuck!” Garrett said. “I knew I didn’t like that guy for a reason.”

Matt walked right past us with a smug look on his face. “What the fuck, Matt,” I shouted at him. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. There was no way this dickhead was going to break my best friend’s heart.