What To Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection Part Two (191 page)

I felt Garrett give my hand a little squeeze and he lowered his head to my ear. “Babe, it’s okay, we are going to get through this together. I promise. You remember what I told you the other day? I meant what I said.”

I truly wanted to believe him, but there was still doubt in the back of my mind. He had left me before. Even though he vows he won’t do it again, I still can’t shake the feeling he will.

“So. . . Who would like to go first?” Helen asked.

Garrett and I sat there silent.

“Well, someone is going to need to talk or this is a complete waste of your time,” Helen said in an annoyed tone. “Would you like me to ask you questions or would you like to just talk?”

I looked at Garrett and then at Helen. “Questions.”

“Questions are fine with me too,” Garrett replied.

“Okay, so let’s get this started. My first question to both of you is if you could do everything all over again would you? Leila, why don’t you start?”

I could feel my palms begin to sweat. I let go of Garrett’s hand and wiped it on my jeans. “Yes, I would.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Garrett run his hands over his head. This was a sign of nerves and aggravation. I was just unsure of what he was feeling.

“Would you like to expand on your answer?” Helen asked.

“I think both of you know how I feel about this. We were too young to have a baby. We had our whole lives ahead of us and a baby would have destroyed that. Did I go about it the wrong way? Absolutely, but nothing I say or do can change that now.”

The three of us sat in silence for about a minute. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Garrett, I was afraid to see the look of disappointment in his eyes.

“Garrett? How do you feel about what Leila just said?”

Garrett cleared his throat and shifted his weight away from me. “I’m not going to lie, Helen, it hurts to hear her say that. I was hoping that she would have more remorse.”

I closed my eyes, hoping this was all a bad dream. I could tell by the tone in his voice, he was angry with me.

I interrupted him, “Garrett, I’m sorry how I handled things. I know I should have told you. I felt like if I told you, you would have tried to talk me out of it.” I shifted myself on the couch turning my body towards his. “Do you honestly think it was an easy decision for me to make? I’ve had to live with my decision every day of my life for four years.”

“No, I don’t think it was an easy decision, but I don’t think you should have made my decision for me. I feel like I should have had a choice in the matter. We certainly made that baby together.”

His words stung, and I was ready to jump up and run out of here. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. I knew it was going to hurt. What if he actually listened to what he was saying and realized that he didn’t forgive me.

“I need some water,” I said abruptly. I stood up to walk to the water cooler that was sitting in the corner of Helen’s office.

“Garrett?” Helen asked.

I stood with my back to Garrett and Helen waiting for his response. There was a pause before he responded.

“Yes, I regret everything I did and said,” he said remorsefully.

I looked over my shoulder looking in his direction.

Turning in my direction, he said softly, “I shouldn’t have made you feel guilty for your decision. I know that now. But I have to say it still hurts.” He paused for a moment. “That first year was really hard on me. I would see couples with a baby, and my heart would break. I couldn’t help but think that could’ve been our baby.”

His words were killing me inside. I never stopped and really thought about how he had felt. I had only thought about me and my future, never taking into consideration how much he wanted me to have his baby. There was nothing I could do or say to change what I had done. At that moment I finally realized he was hurting just as much as I was.

“Garrett I am so sorry,” I said walking toward him. “I should have told you. I should have listened to your feelings.” I began to sob.

Garrett quickly stood up and put his arms around me. “Shhh. It’s okay. We are going to get through this.” He pulled his body away from mine and wiped my tears. “I love you and I don’t want to live without you,” he said kissing my cheeks lightly.

“Leila, please come sit, I know this is difficult for you to discuss in front of Garrett, but I feel it is necessary.” Helen said.

Shaking my head, I wiped my tears and sat back down.

Helen looked at both of us. “I think you two still have a lot to work on but if you can keep the lines of communication open you are going to be just fine,” she said with a reassuring smile. “I would like to see you two again next week.”

Garrett and I looked at each other, and both nodded our heads in agreement. Both of us left Helen’s office feeling hopeful about our future, and I knew I was going to do everything in my power to keep Garrett in my life. I was not going to hide anything else from him.

On our next appointment, I was much more at ease and very optimistic. Helen was already waiting for us when we arrived and we immediately went into her office.

“So, how have things between you two been since our last session?” Helen asked.

Garrett and I looked and at one another and smiled. “Great,” I replied. “Things have been really great.”

“Good, I am glad to hear it. I have a few questions for you Garrett. I’d love for you to tell me how you and Leila met?” Helen asked inquisitively.

My eyes shifted in Leila’s direction and she was staring at me. I gently ran my hand over her thigh, flashing her a quick smile then turning my attention back to Helen.

“We met through a friend,” I responded emphasizing the word friend.

Helen quickly picked up on that. “Why do you say friend that way?” She asked giving me a half smile.

“Leila, has never told you this story?”

Helen’s head turned slightly towards Leila. Her entire body tensed up. Running my hands through my hair I laughed. “Leila dated one of my friends before we started dating.”

“And your friend didn’t mind that you started dating his ex-girlfriend?” Helen asked surprised.

I smiled at Leila. “Nah. She wasn’t his type.”

“His type?” Leila blurted out.

“Come on Babe, you have to admit you were too good for him.” I couldn’t help but smile at her.

“Well now you really have me intrigued,” Helen said, crossing her legs.

“You want to tell the story?” I asked.

“No. By all means have at it.” Leila exhaled heavily rolling her eyes.

I knew she was annoyed at me for bringing this up, but I didn’t understand why. She never liked talking about how we met. A huge smile appeared across my face as I began to relive our first meeting.

“Hey Ma, I’m home,” I yelled into the living room as I passed through the kitchen throwing my lunch box onto the island that was in the middle of the room.

“Garrett? Is that you?”

“Yeah Ma. It’s me. Who else would it be?”

“Shawn and some girl stopped by about a half hour ago. He said to call him when you got home.”

“Okay Ma. I’ll call him when I get out of the shower,” I said as I stepped into the bathroom.

Fuck! I totally forgot Shawn wanted to set me up with his ex.

Shawn and I had two totally different tastes in girls. Shawn liked the cheap looking girls who tried really hard to look good but fell short. I was into the more natural beauty. One who didn’t need to try to look good, one that was just beautiful.

How the hell was I going to get myself out of this one?

I stood under the showerhead letting the hot water beat down on me. Today had been a long day at work. Our busy season was over, so it was a lot of standing around. I began racking my brain on how the hell I was going to get out of meeting this chick. Shawn only lived a few streets over and he would show up if I told him no. He had been talking about this for over a week. I’m not sure why he was hell bent on setting us up.

Turning off the water, I grabbed a towel from the hook on the back of the door wrapping the towel around my waist. Opening the bathroom door, I quietly snuck into my room. The last thing I needed was my little brother realizing I was home. He was only nine and always wanted me to play video games with him. That kid was a video game junkie. When I was his age, my mother forced me to go outside and play with my friends. I guess that’s what happens when you have three children. You kind of just give up after the third one.

I ever so carefully shut my door behind me, no sooner had I pulled on my jeans my cell was going off. I could tell by the ring tone it was Shawn. This kid was relentless.

“What Up?” I said answering my phone.

“What hell man. Where have you been?”

“Shawn, I just got out of work. It’s only 3:30,” I said annoyed.

Completely ignoring the irritation in my voice, Shawn asked, “So are you coming over or what?”

“Or What?” I replied laughing. “I don’t know, Man. You and I don’t have the same taste in girls. I think I’m going to pass.”

Shawn’s voice went to whisper, “Dude, you gotta get over here. She’s totally into you. She saw the picture of you.”

“Picture?” I repeated.

“Yeah, the one that’s on your fridge. She’s not like the other girls I have dated. She’s definitely more your type.”

Letting out a huge sigh. “Alright! I’ll come over. But, I swear to God if she’s some cheap floozy that you dated I’m going to kick your ass right in front of her,” I said laughing, hanging up the phone.

I put my new Drop Kick Murphy’s shirt on then dried my hair with a towel. I ran my fingers through my hair to get it out of my eyes and I headed back downstairs.

I peered into the living room. Like usual my mother was watching her soaps as she liked to call them. “Ma, I’m going over to Shawn’s for a while. I probably won’t be back until around eleven.” I reached for my jacket that was hanging on the coat rack by the door.

“Okay. Have fun and don’t get into any trouble,” she called to me as I walked out the back door.

My poor mother, I had given her a run for her money when I was younger. I was an unruly teenager that skipped school and snuck out of my room at night to go party. There were even a few times the cops brought me home. I think I single handily aged her twenty years.

Since turning eighteen, I had definitely tamed my ways. I was now working a full-time job and if I didn’t show up, I didn’t get paid. So, I made sure I was there every day. I had just bought a car and had to pay for car insurance.

It was a cool November day and as I walked to Shawn’s I stopped at the corner store for a pack of cigarettes. Yet another thing that drove my mother crazy. She was always bitching at me to quit. My father had smoked for years until he finally gave it up. To be completely honest I don’t even know why I started smoking, and I have tried to quit on several occasions but I just keep going back.

I was now standing at the end of Shawn’s driveway. I took one final drag of my cigarette then flicked it into a puddle on the side of the road. Feeling myself getting nervous, I ran my hand through my hair and began walking towards the house. I didn’t want tonight to end up a disaster. There is nothin
g
worse than being set up with someone you can’t stand. I slowly walked up the steps and hesitantly walked through Shawn’s door.

Shawn and I had been friends since we were kids and I didn’t even bother knocking anymore. I was told by his mother just to walk right in. As soon as I stepped into the kitchen I was hit by a wall of smoke. Shawn’s parents were heavy smokers as well as heavy drinkers. His mom, dad, and uncle were sitting at the kitchen table playing cards.

“Hey Garrett,” they all said in unison barely even looking my way.

“Hey everyone,” I said smiling. “Where’s Shawn?”

“I think he’s on the back porch,” Shawn’s uncle answered.

“Oh okay,” I said turning around to go back out the door I just walked in.

“Garrett,” Shawnn’s mother said to me in a whisper motioning with her hand to come over to her. “He’s with a girl out there,” she said smiling. “This is the first girl he has ever brought home.”

“Well, I hate to break your heart Mrs. T but they are not dating. That is why I am here. Shawn wants to set me up with her.”

I could see the disappointment in her face as I broke the news to her. Shawn had told me in confidence that he would never bring home any girl that he dated. He was embarrassed by his parents. They were alcoholics and he never knew what he was walking into when he got home.

“Well Garrett she is very, very pretty,” she smiled at me. I could smell the cheap whiskey on her breath. “I think you two would make a beautiful couple.”

“Don’t get carried away, Mrs. T. I’m only meeting her, not marrying her,” I laughed.

“You say that now Garrett, but I met Shawn’s father when I was fourteen years old. And look at us now,” she said grinning ear to ear.

“That’s right Kathy. You are the love of my life. I knew it the first time I laid eyes on you,” Shawn’s father said.

Awkwardly, I began backing out of the kitchen before things got really weird. “It was really good to see you guys. I’m going to find Shawn.”

“It was good to see you too, Garrett.”

I shut the door quickly and shook my head. I really did feel bad for Shawn having to deal with his parents who were drunk all the time. It was a miracle he actually had his head on straight.

As I made my way around to the back of the house I heard Shawn’s laugh. “No you are doing it wrong. You gotta do it like this.”

I froze dead in my tracks. Shawn was right. She was definitely my type. Her hair was brown and wavy falling to the middle of her back. She wore very little makeup, and she was on the petite side but everything about her was proportionate. The jeans she was wearing hugged her body in all the right places. She had a black hoodie on and pink Chuck Taylors on her feet. I stood there quietly watching her for a moment, taking her in.