What To Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection Part Two (177 page)

“Well, when you stop acting like a child, I will!” Nicole said raising her voice.

She glared over at my dance partner who was now dancing with Hillary. Nicole’s eyes then met mine again. I gave her a small smirk.

“Ugh!” she exhaled loudly and stormed off. I shrugged my shoulders as I watched her walk out the front door. and I danced my way back over to where they were.

The music stopped, and he asked me to come back to his table, and I was happy to oblige. As he ordered us a couple of drinks, I sat on his lap, kissing his neck. He told me his name was Adam and how he was the star quarterback at WSU.

“Oh really? I just graduated from WSU last spring. I can’t believe we never ran into each other before,” I slurred while playing with his hair seductively.

“Yeah, you should come see me play next weekend.” His eyes lit up.

I put my mouth to his ear and whispered, “I’m really not into football but if you want to come back to my place, we can play something else.”

With a look of surprised delight on his face, he grabbed his jacket without hesitation. He said goodbye to his friends, taking him by the hand I led him out the back door.

He had his arms wrapped around me tightly, kissing my neck as we made our way up the stairs to my apartment. I unlocked my door and tossed my purse on the kitchen counter.

I spun around whispering in his ear. “I’m so hot for you,” I slurred.

He could barely catch his breath. I kissed his neck, and I pushed my hand down the front of his pants. “You’re hard for me already,” I giggled in his ear.

He tried to slow me down, but there was no stopping me. I was self-destructing by the second. This wasn’t anything new. It was how I’d coped after Garrett left. All four years at WSU consisted of my bedding as many men as I could. I used alcohol and sex to soothe my pain.

As we made it into my bedroom, I had him practically naked, except for his boxers. I pushed him down on the bed, crawled up on him and straddled his hips. I ripped my sweatshirt and bra off, grabbed his hands and put them on my breasts. He started playing with my nipples. I began writhing on him as I unbuttoned my jeans and put his hand down the front of my pants.

“Can you feel how wet I am for you?” I moaned.

He moved his fingers further down into my pants and began rubbing my clit. Moving his hand lower he dipped his fingers into my pussy. I arched my back to give him better access.

“Oh Adam,” I slurred. “I am so hot right now. Fuck me, please.”

“Do you have any condoms?” He panted.

That comment stopped me dead in my tracks. I rolled my eyes at him. “Aren’t you the star quarterback? Shouldn’t you have an unlimited supply of them?”

“Well, I wasn’t expecting to get laid tonight.”

I rolled off him and staggered into my bathroom. I came out waving a condom in my hand. “You’re lucky my friend. I’m not getting knocked up by a one night stand,” I slurred with a half smile on my face. I knew deep down inside I would have fucked his brains out even if I didn’t have a condom. I actually wasn’t afraid of getting pregnant. I’d been on the pill since I started college. I preferred having sex with no condom, but I did try to be doubly safe when it came to sex. This certainly wouldn’t have been the first time I overlooked using a condom.

I tossed the condom on the bed and lay down next to him. I yanked off his boxers and his cock sprung free. I began kissing his chest and stroking him causing his body to quiver. I slowly ran my tongue down his chest. His body tasted of salt and cologne. I continued down his body past his stomach and teasing his cock with my mouth, licking the head. He thrust his hips into the air as I ran my tongue up one side of his cock and down the other. I lowered myself and began licking his balls. He grabbed my hair and led me up to him.

“Ah . . . You’re driving me insane,” he cried in ecstasy.

He tried to kiss me, but I turned my head.

“Come on, let me kiss you. I need to feel your tongue in my mouth.”

“I will do anything but kiss,” I said. I never kissed any of the men I slept with. Kissing to me was an intimate act. This was just sex. I kept myself guarded from any emotional connection. This was purely physical.

He ripped off my jeans and then slowly removed my underwear. Moving down my body he put his hand in between my legs rubbing my clit again. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. I wanted him to fuck me. I needed to feel him inside me.

“Lay down,” I whispered to him.

Grabbing the condom from my bed, I ripped open the package quickly sliding the condom down his shaft. Positioning myself on top of him I slowly began working him into me. Once I’d taken all of him, I started moving my hips in a circular motion.

“Yeah, baby like that. That feels so good,” he moaned with his eyes closed.

I took his hands and put them back on my breasts. I loved the feeling of my nipples being touched. Just that alone could bring me to an orgasm. But with the amount of alcohol I had in my system, I’d need all the help I could get to get off tonight.

Adam suddenly flipped me over. I was on all fours. My ass was in the air and my weight down on my forearms. He rubbed his hands all over my body. “You’re so fucking hot.”

My head started to spin. I closed my eyes for a second and fought back tears. Thoughts of Garrett at the wedding sprung into my head. Him hanging all over
her
on the dance floor. His eyes staring at me. I felt my anger and jealousy building inside me.
That fucking bitch didn’t deserve him.
I reached behind me grabbing his dick, and I forcefully shoved him back into me. I wanted Garrett out of my head.

With Adam’s cock deep inside me, I hoped it would erase any thoughts of Garrett. I pushed forcefully against his hips ramming myself into him. I was desperate to fill the hole in my heart. Empty meaningless sex was the only way I knew how to comfort myself… Well that and drinking.

He started pumping into me fast and hard. I took his hand and put it on my clit. He began rubbing it in small circular motions as I moaned. I threw my head back. “Ahhhhh . . . Adam, make me come . . . Please . . . Make me come.”

I could feel my orgasm building. This was exactly what I was looking for, that moment of release and the feeling of complete euphoria where nothing else mattered around me. All my hurt and heartache would disappear for a quick moment in time, and I would feel whole again.

“Harder, faster,” I demanded.

“Geez, baby, take it easy. We have all night,” he said back.

I start pushing back at him again.

“Ahhhh. . . Yeah. . . . I’m gonna come,” his voice now a deep growl.

We were both reaching climax at the same time. I started to pant.

“Come on fuck me hard. Harder, Garrett, harder,” I cried.

Suddenly, he stopped. He pulled out of me fast. “Who did you just call me?”

“What? What did I say?” I panted, still dazed.

“You just called me Garrett,” he said angrily.

I flipped over onto my back. “No! I didn’t,” my voice defensive.

“Yes! You did.” His voice was now raised to a yell… “Fuck, I knew you were loaded but I didn’t think you were actually thinking about another guy while you were fucking me!”

“No! Don’t worry about it. It’s . . . He’s my ex. . . . I ran into him tonight, I wasn’t thinking about him. . . . Please . . .come back to bed,” I whimpered.

He was already putting his clothes back on. He was pissed. “Fuck Off!” He said as he stormed out of my room and a moment later I heard my apartment door slam.

I threw my hands over my face and screamed at the top of my lungs, “Fuck! Mother fucking shit!” I pounded the mattress with the bottom of my fists.

I woke up to the sound of Molly purring in my face and my phone buzzing. I reached for my phone to see a text message from Nicole:

Nicole—

So. . . How was your football star? Did he score a touchdown?

Me—

Not funny!!!!

Nicole—

Aww. . . Come on, it’s a little funny.

I tossed my phone down, rolled over and closed my eyes. I became aware of what felt like a photograph on my bed. I grabbed the object, opened my eyes and lifted it to my face. It was a picture of Garrett and me at my junior prom. I realized my entire bed was covered with pictures, letters and cards. “What the. . .” Everything started rushing back. After Adam stormed out, my self-destructive behavior had continued. I’d grabbed some vodka from the cupboard and kept drinking. I’d searched under my bed for the box that contained all of my memories of Garrett. Every card, note, picture, even the heart he made for our first Valentine’s Day was stored in there. This was all I had of him now and of course, my broken heart.

The next picture I lifted up was Garrett and me kissing. He had his acoustic guitar in his hand. The picture was taken one night when a bunch of us had partied at Wales Park.

All the guys had built a fire, and the girls had brought stuff to make S’mores. It was a pretty October evening and all of us were wrapped in blankets, sitting close to the fire to keep warm.

Garrett had thought it would be fun to bring his acoustic guitar. He said we could sing around the campfire like he had done at camp when he was a kid. We were all having a great time. We sang corny 80’s songs and drank cheap beer. Once we had finished singing “Living on a Prayer,” Garrett got very serious and everyone quieted down. He stood up and said, “I want to dedicate this song to the love of my life.” He strummed the guitar and started to sing, “Leila, you’ve got me on my knees. Leila, I’m begging, darling please, Leila.” I looked up at him and smiled from ear to ear. Since the first day we’d met, he’d always sung that song to me. He said he didn’t care if my name was spelled differently from the song it was still my song.

I was sitting on my bed with my knees pulled up to my chest and my head resting on my knees. My mind was racing. What the fuck was I doing? Why do I keep doing this? This is not helping.

My cell phone buzzed again and snapped me from my thoughts. I could feel tears falling down my cheeks again.

The text was from Nicole:

Nicole—

I’m coming over. You are in need of another invention.

Me—

I’m Fine! You don’t need to come over.

Nicole—

Too late. I’m at your door, let me in.

I quickly made my way to the door, remembering the last time she threatened an intervention and how she almost kicked my door in. As I opened the door, Nicole was standing against the door jam with her arms across her chest. It seriously was a déjà vu.

“Well, good morning or should I say good afternoon.” I could tell by the tone of her voice she was not impressed with my behavior.

She pushed her way through my door and headed for the couch. “Sooo. . . How was Mr. Football star . . . Was he everything you had hoped for? When are you going to realize that what you’re doing to yourself is not helping, it is only making it worse?”

I looked at her and let out a big sigh. “I know, I know. . .”

My stomach began to growl, and I realized I hadn’t eaten in almost twenty-four hours.

“Can we finish this downstairs at Danny’s? I’m starving.”

Nicole looked at me, her eyes scanning my body up and down. “Yes, we can but you better get your ass in the shower first because you look like shit.”

After a long hot shower, I was feeling better. I threw some comfortable sweats on and we headed downstairs. Danny, who was standing behind the bar, gave me a smile. “How was your night last night, Kid?” He laughed.

“Ha, ha, ha, very funny, Danny,” I said sarcastically with a fake smile on my face.

Nicole and I grabbed the booth in the corner. We each took a menu and looked it over. There was an awkward silence between us.

“Alright, you’re right,” I said with a long sigh. “I feel like I am drowning.” I began to tear up. “When I saw Garrett yesterday it felt like I’d gotten punched in the stomach. All those feelings from four years ago came rushing back.”

Nicole got up and came around to my side of the booth and slid in beside me. She put her arm around me. “You’re not going to like what I have to say. I think you should talk to someone.”

“I am talking to someone. I am talking to you.” I knew full well what she meant by “talking to someone.”

“Leila, I’m serious. I think you need therapy. You said yourself you feel like you are drowning. How much longer do you think you can keep going this way? I’m beginning to think you’re a functioning sex addict and alcoholic.” She said this with such sorrow in her eyes.

“Oh please!” I said laughingly. I tried to laugh it off but deep down inside, I was beginning to think the same exact thing.

“Have you talked to your mom lately? I know she’s worried about you. She’s texted me a dozen times this week.”

I shook my head. “I know she’s been calling like crazy. I just can’t deal with her right now. She wants too much from me. Sometimes I feel like she’s smothering me.”