What Now? (20 page)

Nick
met her half-way, bending his head to taste her lips, still giving her time to
change her mind. Shari shivered and battled with herself over whether to pull
away or let him go further. The battle didn’t last long as she gave in and
silently gave Nick permission to deepen the kiss. Perfectly in tune with her,
he quickly obliged, holding the back of her head gently in his hands as he
angled it to the best advantage to explore her mouth. The surge of pleasure
made Shari’s feet almost buckle and she quickly grasped Nick’s shoulders for
support.

Nick
took the opportunity to pull her closer, molding her softness to him. Kissing
her was like coming home after being on the road for months. How could she feel
so familiar when he had only kissed her once before? His body leapt in response
to her. If only her kiss was threatening to put him over the edge, he didn’t
know how he would handle anything else with the necessary restraint.

Nick’s
kiss was devastating, but Shari knew that she had to stop before it was too
late. She should never have started this in the first place. Pulling her head
back, she broke the contact between them. Without missing a beat, Nick
unerringly found that sensitive spot on her neck and nibbled it with just
enough pressure to cause goose bumps to break out over her arms. Her legs would
have given way if Nick was not holding her firmly against him.

“Stop,
Nick. I’m sorry, but we need to stop.” She sounded weak and breathless.

Nick
nuzzled her neck again before reluctantly pulling away to rest his forehead
against hers. He was breathing fast. Kissing Shari affected him more than being
in bed with many other women. He didn’t quite understand what was happening
here. She wasn’t the most beautiful woman he knew, but whatever it was that she
had – maybe it was pheromones – was beginning to possess him. He had to have
her, but it was obviously not going to be tonight.

She
moved out of his arms and stumbled to the couch as if her legs were still
unstable. He felt pretty shaky too, not to mention unsatisfied. He dropped down
next to her, keeping a safe distance between them so that he wouldn’t be
tempted to pull her back into his arms and overcome her resistance.

“Tell
me about this vow of chastity you’ve taken that’s going to be the death of me,”
he demanded.

Shari
smiled at Nick’s dramatic pronouncement.

“No
one has ever died from chastity,” she insisted. “Besides, you have a constant
supply of women who would be happy to supply all your needs, so you won’t die.”

“They
pale in significance compared to you.”

Shari
rolled her eyes. “That line will get you nowhere with me, Nick Badley.” She was
not taking him seriously, but he was telling the truth. He couldn’t imagine
going back to taking what was offered to him so freely after only kissing
Shari.

“Besides,
I’m working on breaking my habit. Now tell me how this started.”

“How
much time have you got?” She threw the question back at him that he had asked
her at Estes Park. That seemed so long ago and so much had happened since then.

“All
night, if you’ll put me up.” It was already after midnight and, although Shari
knew that he could call a cab to pick him up, she wanted him to stay. She hoped
that none of her neighbors saw him in the morning; they would definitely jump
to the wrong conclusion.

“I
came up in the church. My parents always took me along, whether I wanted to go
or not. Well, it paid off because the seeds that got planted grew and,
eventually, I began to live my life according to God’s ways. When I went off to
college it was the first time I was on my own and I wasn’t prepared for the
freedom I had. In my second year, I met a guy called Robert Levin and he
pursued me relentlessly. He was a couple years older than me, very street wise
and very cute. I was completely in love with him, or so I thought.”

Nick
felt unaccountably jealous of the “very cute” Robert Levin who Shari had been
in love with.

“I
gave myself to him, believing that we would get married anyway, but a year or
so later, after he had graduated and started to work, he told me that he’d outgrown
the relationship and that he was moving on.”

“Aah.”
He now realized why she had disliked his song so much.

“I
was devastated, of course, and I went back home, broken and depressed. My mum
dragged me off to church once again and I found healing there. But the
experience made me more cautious about relationships and definitely more
resilient. I also vowed to do things God’s way and not to have that kind of
intimate relationship again outside of marriage.”

Nick
was silent for a long time as he digested what Shari told him and then began to
look at his life through her eyes. No wonder she believed him to be depraved.
Well actually, he was.

“I
was a church boy as well.”

Shari
sat up in amazement. “What?”

“I
told you that my parents are churchgoers. Well, they used to take us along with
them and, like you, I started to follow Jesus. It was after a youth camp I went
to when I was fourteen.”

She
could not believe it.

“What
happened?”

“Teenage
years, rebellion, the music industry, the desire for fame and fortune. Any and
all of the above. I became a ‘lover of pleasures more than a lover of God’,” he
quoted. “It’s hard to stay on the path in this industry, especially if you have
no positive influences.”

No
wonder he could quote scripture. “I would never have guessed.”

“When
I do something, I do it all the way.” He laughed mirthlessly. “It didn’t help
when Jo lost the baby. I felt as if God was punishing me for walking away from
him and it was my fault that it happened.”

“Oh
Nick, no! God isn’t like that, he’s redemptive. Bad things happen to good
people all the time. The important thing is to learn the lessons from them. I
think you learned yours.”

“How
so?”

“Well
when you remarried you made a commitment to be faithful to Patti. You were determined
not to make the same mistakes you made with Jo.”

“Yeah.
Unfortunately between the two marriages I was pretty wild. I guess I felt that
if I was going to be punished I might as well have something to be punished
for. That’s how I got my nickname. It was women, drugs, wild parties, you name
it. I was on a self-destruct mission. Thank God my eyes opened as I matured,
although you might dispute that. I began to see a lot of musicians going down
that road and it made me get serious about my music and clean up my act, although
the nickname has stuck. That’s when things really took off. I’ve been very fortunate.”

“So,
what are you doing with your fortune?”

“What
do you mean?”

“I
believe that we’re blessed so that we can bless others. So who is benefitting
from your blessings?”

“Well
Jo, who gets a fat alimony check every month; my parents, who I bought a house
for; the people who I employ…”

“What
about other people who need help? Are you involved in any philanthropic stuff?
Do you support any causes?”

That
made Nick think and he realized that he had only been helping those people he
knew, but he could do so much more.

“No. You’re
right. I could do more. I’ll give it some thought.”

“If
you want something to think about, I recently did a documentary about how music
changed the lives of at-risk kids.”

“Tell
me about it.”

“I
discovered that when kids in inner city schools were given the opportunity to learn
to play instruments and create music, while being mentored, they started going
to school more, they were more motivated to learn and their test scores went
up. I was told that their self-confidence increased and their teachers said
that they collaborated better in class and generally had better attitudes.
Because of their mentors, they also began to create visions for their lives.
After the documentary aired, the station had a lot of calls from people who
wanted to be mentors.”

“Great!
That sounds like something I’d like to get involved in. I could definitely
donate instruments to some schools but I’m not sure about the mentoring part.
I’m far from being a good role model.”

“Then
maybe it’s time to change,” she challenged.

“Maybe
it is.” Nick agreed thoughtfully. “Thanks for that, Shari. I’ll definitely
investigate it some more.”

“Glad
to be of service,” Shari teased.

“You
really love your job, don’t you? At least when you’re working on stories with
depth and meaning,” he reminded her of their first conversation. Shari laughed.

“Oh,
this one is turning out to be deeper than I thought. And yes, I love my job.  I
love telling stories that motivate people to get involved with what’s happening
around them and even globally.  That’s why I so wanted to do a piece on how micro-financing
can impact the lives of women in developing countries.”

“So
why didn’t you?”

“I
don’t get to choose what I work on. You were hotter news that women in Africa.”

“I’m
sorry about that Shari.”

“It’s
not your fault and anyway I got the chance to meet you and I’m discovering that
you’re not as bad as I thought,” she admitted.

“Care
to repeat that? Where’s your recorder?  We need to include this in the
documentary,” Nick teased, but he was pleased.

“Don’t
let it go to your head, Nick Badley,” she replied, smothering a yawn.

“You’re
tired,” Nick observed. “Better go to bed. I’ll be up for a while. This is still
early for me.”

“I
should make you sleep on the couch for being presumptuous in turning up with a
bag, but you can use the spare room. It’s at the end of the hall. Would you
like anything before I go to bed?”

“Yes,
there’s something I’d like,” he leered at her teasingly before dodging a throw
cushion that she tried to slap him with.

“Ha!”

“Can’t
blame a man for trying.”

Shari
shook her head and stood up to go to her room.

“I
see that I have to step up my prayers for you.”

He
laughed.

Before
she could leave, Nick caught her hand and brought the palm to his lips for a
warm kiss, making it tingle and she felt as if Nick Badley had put his stamp on
her. When she got to her room it was still tingling.

A
persistent knocking on the door woke Nick up. He vaguely wondered who would be
knocking at his hotel room so early in the morning. He cracked an eye open to
look at his watch on the bedside table to discover that it was nearly half past
seven and that he was not in a hotel. The night came flooding back to him and
he smiled as he remembered that he was at Shari’s house and in her spare room.
He’d slept like the dead. The only thing that would have made his night perfect
was if Shari had been with him. He better put a stop to those thoughts. After
what she’d told him about the walk she’d chosen, he had to respect her decision
and stop trying to seduce her. It would not be easy, but he could do it. In
theory.

He
swung himself off the bed and sat for a minute, getting a last snatch of rest
before he forced himself to get up. He could easily have slept for three more
hours, but Shari had to go to work. He could never do a nine to five; that was
torture. Give him seven to four any day. Grabbing the backpack he’d brought, he
headed for the small bathroom across the hall to get ready for the day.

Shari
was flitting around the kitchen taking down mugs and plates to set the table.
Coffee was already bubbling in the percolator and she had a frying pan on the
stove and batter in a bowl. There were already two large pancakes on a plate
and the box of pancake mix on the counter told him that she wasn’t always a
“make it from scratch” woman. She turned back to the frying pan and tipped some
batter into it.

“Good
morning, my love.” In spite of the early hour, Nick felt on top of the world. 
He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept so well without five or more
drinks to help him.

Shari
pretended to look around to see who he was referring to.

“I
mean you, Shari Goodwin.” He came up and hugged her from behind, nuzzling the
sensitive spot below her ear. She squirmed away.

“Nick
Badley. Did nothing I said last night register with you?”

“Yes,
but that doesn’t make it any easier to resist you.”

Shari
swatted him away and instructed him to get the coffee.

“Did
you sleep well?”

“I
haven’t slept so well in a long time. I don’t know if it was the bed or the
thought of you sleeping down the hall, although that would have kept me up.”

Tell
me about it, thought Shari, who had not slept very well.

“You
made pancakes for me? I’m touched.”

“It’s
not a big deal.” Shari piled a pancake on the other two that were stacked on
the plate, put some fruit that she’d already cut up on the side and poured on
some strawberry compote which she’d bought at the supermarket yesterday. She
paused. Had she expected Nick to spend the night when she bought it? That was a
disturbing thought. She hurriedly gestured for Nick to eat while his pancakes
were still warm.