What it Takes (2 page)

Her head tilted slightly. “I thought we could take care of it,” she said, “like a family.”

“Kelsey,” he said as he pushed his untouched pie away, “why would I need to go down to the clinic with you? I’ll pay for half, but I’ll give you the money up front.” He stood and walked to the narrow wall beside the kitchen door.

“What?” She could hardly believe what she was hearing. “Go to the clinic?”

“For the procedure.” He raised his eyebrows and nodded his head in a way that stated his meaning should be obvious.

Kelsey’s heart sank and she started to feel nauseous, and not from morning sickness.

“Procedure,” she breathed. “Tim, I can’t do that. You know how I feel about abortion.”

“Kelsey, we can’t have a baby now. We’re still in college,” he argued.

“We’ll have graduated by the time the baby’s born.” Her legs felt weak and she was glad to still be sitting. He took three steps toward the door.

“We’ve gotta find jobs and a place to live. We’ve gotta get settled. And what about going to Hollywood? You can’t take a baby to California,” he said, his eyes narrowing even more.

He’d blindsided her with that argument. While he supported her work on the stage, her dream of acting on the big screen was one that Tim almost always dismissed. Moving to Hollywood had never been an option for him. Until now, apparently.

“Then we’ll stay here and raise it,” she stated. “We’ll have four months between graduation and the due date, that’s plenty—”

“No,” he snapped. “Kelsey, we’re not ready for this. I’m not ready to be a father, not yet, not for a few more years.” He picked up his coat and opened the door. “I’ve gotta go.” He stepped out and a cool breeze slapped her in the face as the door closed behind him.

Numbly, she cleaned up the dinner dishes and put the food in the refrigerator. She replayed their conversation over and over again in her mind, trying to figure out where it had gone wrong. She’d expected him to be a little upset about the pregnancy; she had been. He had a point. They were still in school and had a lot to do before their baby was born. Although the abortion suggestion had been a shock, him walking out on her had been a bigger one.

When everything was put away, she crawled into her bed and stayed there for all of the next day.

Kelsey got to their Monday morning class early and saved him a seat next to her. Tim came in just as the lecture started and sat at the back of the room. He wouldn’t look at her and, when class ended, was gone before she could collect her books.

Tuesday was much the same. Tim arrived late and sat beside one of his friends. When the friend saw Kelsey looking at them, he elbowed Tim and pointed in her direction, but Tim ignored him. At the end of class, he disappeared before Kelsey stood up.

On Wednesday, after he’d made a point of ignoring her again, she was surprised to see Tim approaching her when class was over.

“Can I come over later?” he asked.

“Sure,” she said with a smile. “Do you want me to fix something?”

“No,” he firmly replied, and she knew things weren’t going to go well. “I’ll be there around four.” He was gone before she could speak.

When her last class let out at two fifty, she raced home and paced the living room for the next hour. Tim arrived right on time and came into her apartment like a stranger. He didn’t even take his coat off.

“Okay, so I’ve reconsidered,” he said and for a moment her heart floated with hope. “I’ll pay for the whole procedure.”

Just as quickly, hope sank.

“Tim, I’m not getting an abortion,” she said.

“Damn it, Kelsey,” he snapped. “Why do you have to be so stubborn?” He paced in front of her. “We’re not ready for this.”

“We’ll have time to get ready.”

“Are you trying to make me marry you?” His normally soft hazel eyes were dark, almost black.

Ice began to form in her veins. “It’s not like we haven’t talked about it,” she replied meekly. “We don’t have to get married before the baby—”

“We’re not having a baby, Kelsey!” his voice boomed.

She took a step back, speechless.

“We were safe. We used condoms every time. I even brought them with me so I’d know you didn’t—”

“Didn’t what?” Kelsey saw red. “So you’d know I didn’t tamper with them? Didn’t poke holes in them? They aren’t a hundred percent safe, Tim. Do you think I did this on purpose?”

“Didn’t you? You’ve been talking about marriage for a year now.”

“
We’ve
been talking about it, Tim. It wasn’t a one-sided conversation. You were an active part of it.” Her heart raced with anger and hurt as betrayal started to flex its fingers.

“I was always saying ‘if,’ Kelsey. You were always saying ‘when.’ There’s a big difference.”

She stopped breathing. Was he right? She’d never noticed before.

“I don’t even know this baby’s mine. Maybe you should find its real daddy and trap him.”

Her legs gave out and she plopped onto the couch. “Tim, you are the baby’s father,” she said quietly, tears pooling in her eyes. “I’ve never been with anyone else. You know that.”

“Don’t give me that shit, Kelsey,” he snapped. “You don’t think I believe it, do you?” Her eyes rounded with pain. “I’ve seen the way other men look at you.” He paused in his pacing to glare at her. “They flirt with you everywhere we go. And you . . .” he sneered at her and resumed his pacing, “you priss around, pretending not to notice as you bat your eyelashes at them.”

She’d never acted like that and he knew it. Yes, she’d noticed other men looking at her, but she’d never encouraged them or flirted with them in return. “Tim, you’re imagining th—”

“I am not!” he roared as he walked toward her, hatred written on his face. “You’re a fucking slut.”

Tears trickled down Kelsey’s cheeks and her body weakened under his misguided accusations.

“All of my friends notice it. Hell, you even flirt with them.”

“Tim,” she sobbed, “no. I’m not like that.”

“Save it,” he snapped and backed away. “You’re nothing but a whore, Kelsey. You should do real well in Hollywood. I’m sure you’ll get a lot of good-paying jobs that way.”

She bit her lip, stunned into silence.

“You know, there is one thing I regret.”

“What’s that?” she asked quietly, feeling defeated and small as she studied the coffee table.

“I wish I’d known sooner,” he growled. “Then I could’ve pimped you out and we both could’ve gotten something out of it.”

Wide-eyed, she looked up at him, tears streaming, mouth open. How could he be so cruel? Tim narrowed his eyes one last time before turning and walking out the door and Kelsey crumpled on the couch.

Kelsey didn’t move from the couch for two days, not until her sister, Janelle, showed up at her apartment.

“Kelsey, why haven’t you been answering your phone?” Janelle asked after she opened the door with her key. When she saw Kelsey curled in a ball on the couch, she rushed to her side, her blue eyes filled with concern. “What happened?”

“Tim and I had a fight,” Kelsey sobbed.

“Just a fight?” Janelle questioned.

“He’s just a little upset with me.” A tear slid down Kelsey’s cheek. “He’ll calm down and it’ll be okay.”

“Sweetie, what was the fight about?”

Kelsey went through half a box of tissues as she told her sister everything. Janelle hugged Kelsey tightly, stroking her long hair as she listened, taking a few tissues for herself.

“What do you want to do?” Janelle asked softly after a few minutes of silence had passed.

“He’ll be back,” Kelsey murmured. She knew in her heart that he loved her, he’d simply been taken by surprise.

“Kels,” Janelle whispered as she released her sister. She put her hands on Kelsey’s upper arms and looked into her eyes. “We both know that’s not true.”

“Yes, it is. He has to come back. We’re having a baby,” Kelsey argued assuredly.

Janelle shook her wavy blonde head, the ends dusted her shoulders. “He’s not.”

Kelsey stared at her older sister’s rosy, tear-streaked cheeks, into her pained blue eyes, and knew she was telling the truth. Her shoulders drooped with the realization. “Maybe if I give him what he wants, if I get the abortion, maybe he’ll change his mind.” She couldn’t believe the words were coming out of her mouth. But she couldn’t raise a baby alone, and she knew the pain in her heart would go away if only she could get Tim back.

“I’m not sure that’d help,” Janelle disagreed quietly then slowly exhaled. “Are you really sure you want him back?”

Kelsey nodded. “I love him, Janelle. He’s the one for me, I know it.”

“Kelsey—”

“No, listen. I know he has his faults.” Kelsey pulled away from her sister. “All men do. Our brother, your husband, even Dad, they all do. But, Mom always says to accept your man’s faults and work with them. As long as he’s happy, that’s all that matters.”

Janelle rolled her eyes.

“I want to have a future with him. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that happens,” Kelsey stated emphatically.

“He called you a whore.” Janelle’s calm voice was betrayed by the anger Kelsey saw on her face. “He said he wished he’d pimped you out. Do you really want a future with someone who’d say that to you?”

Kelsey’s answering nod slowly changed to a shake of her head.

“I didn’t think so. You deserve better.” Janelle wrapped her arms around her sister. “You need some therapy. You can’t have liquid, so retail or frozen?”

Kelsey chuckled into her sister’s shoulder. “I haven’t had a shower in two days.”

“Frozen it is,” Janelle said and stood. “Do you have some in the freezer?”

Kelsey nodded. “Just not the vanilla, okay?” That had been for Tim.

“Pshaw,” Janelle scoffed as she rolled her eyes. “Everyone knows chocolate is better for a broken heart.”

As Janelle went to the kitchen, Kelsey noticed a photo album on the bookcase across the room. She walked over, retrieved it, and returned to sit on the floor between the couch and coffee table. She automatically turned to the middle, where the pictures of her and Tim began. Most of them had been taken at bars with their friends. Tim’s smile was wide and his eyes were dancing with joy. As she looked at the pictures, Kelsey’s eyes stung with new tears.

“What’s that?” Janelle asked, holding out a small bowl of chocolate ice cream to her sister as she sat on the couch. Kelsey glanced over her shoulder and lifted the book as she took the bowl. Janelle scrunched her nose. “Maybe you shouldn’t be looking at those.”

Kelsey put a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth as she shrugged her shoulder. She flipped a page and studied the pictures. “Can’t hurt,” she mumbled around the spoon. She turned to the next page.

“Were you happy?” Janelle questioned, still looking over Kelsey’s shoulder.

“Yes, why?” Kelsey replied and ate another spoonful.

“Because you don’t look it.” Janelle stood and left the room, quickly returning with a photo in her hand. “Look.” She laid the picture on the open book. Kelsey looked away from the smiling faces at the sushi bar. “Kels, look at it.”

Kelsey sighed deeply and did as she was told. Her gaze bounced back and forth, between the photo taken at the sushi restaurant, when it was just the two of them, and the three photos on the page, that had been taken at bars or with Tim’s friends. Kelsey was getting frustrated when she finally noticed it. It was in their expressions.

“Oh my,” she murmured.

Tim was miserable. In the picture taken at the sushi restaurant, yes, he was smiling, but compared to the other pictures, it was obvious he wasn’t happy. Her grins were exactly the opposite. She’d been truly happy at the sushi restaurant, not so much at the bars. She studied the bar pictures.

“I hate that beer.” Kelsey pointed to the bottle sitting in front of her in each picture. “Tim never asked what I wanted. He always bought what he was drinking.” She flipped the page. “I hate that bar too.” She pointed to four of the six pictures on the pages. On the next page, she saw a picture in which she looked particularly unhappy. “I wanted to go to a concert that night,” she muttered under her breath. She turned to another page, glanced at the pictures, then quickly slammed the book shut. “Damn it!”

Janelle knelt beside the coffee table.

“I’m such an idiot! Tim never wanted me to be happy. He never cared,” Kelsey said as she stood and began to pace, the bowl of ice cream still in her hand. She ate another spoonful as she collected her thoughts. “I never cared that I was unhappy. I did what I had to do to keep us together.” She wondered, had she been like that the whole relationship? No, it was only after she’d decided that she loved him and wanted to marry him that she’d become so accommodating. “Keep him happy,” Kelsey mocked her mother in a shrill voice. “Never mind that I was miserable. Never mind that I hated going to the damn bars almost every night. Never mind that we never saw the movies I wanted to see, only those shoot-’em-up action adventures that he loved. God, Janelle, I’m so stupid!”

“No,” Janelle said as she stood and came to Kelsey’s side. “No, you thought you were doing the right thing.”

“Did I?” Kelsey scoffed. She wasn’t sure who to be most angry with, herself or Tim. She’d had an older brother. He’d had friends. She’d never have allowed any of them to walk all over her the way she’d let Tim. And he’d done it too. If he’d ever really loved her, he wouldn’t have taken advantage of her. “Damn it!” she muttered again as she threw the spoon across the room.