What Caroline Wants (3 page)

“We’re not swingers.” Piper lifted her head, cracking a small smile. “Not in the technical sense anyway.” She sat up and ran her hands through her long hair, bringing it behind her ears as she turned on her stool to face Caroline. “And, just so you understand, we’ve only done it a handful of times—eight or ten at the most. And only with two other couples—but not two at once,” she amended quickly. “Good grief, this is not coming out as planned.” She looked miserable again. “We actually stick to some pretty steadfast rules, or I’d never be able to live with myself.”

“What kind of rules?” Caroline asked. The question had come out on its own, which surprised her. Digging into another person’s intimacy was not in her comfort zone. But, she had to admit, while she’d been shocked by the news last night, seeing Piper being her normal, funny self now, right here in her own kitchen, made her lifestyle choice seem much less outrageous.

That, and she honestly wanted to know how her friend handled it.

Piper raised an eyebrow, but began, “Well, for one, you can’t kiss anyone else’s spouse on the lips.” She spread her palms on the counter and took a deep breath, seeming to gather herself. “You can’t be alone with another partner. All sexual acts have to be within view of the other participants, all the time. Actually, in the beginning, there was no penetration of any kind allowed, only foreplay. We worked our way up to penetration. But, that said, having sex with someone else is always optional. But the biggest rule we have is no intimidation or pressure of any kind. You can leave or stop whenever you want to. It has to be completely mutual for everyone.”

“So have you…done the
penetration
part? Have you slept with someone else?” Caroline had to ask. Michael hadn’t specified last night.

“I wouldn’t exactly call it ‘slept with someone,’ but yes.” She held up a single finger. “But only once, and it took me a long time to get over it. I might’ve even had a little, teensy breakdown after, so I don’t think I’ll ever do it again. It was fairly traumatizing.”

“Has Michael…penetrated someone else?”

“Yes, a few times, but only with my permission.”

Caroline tried not to look totally aghast, but judging from the look on Piper’s face, she wasn’t succeeding.

“You don’t have to look like I just killed your dog,” Piper said, her voice dejected.

Caroline tried to make her expression impassive, but the news was just so shocking.

“Caroline, to be honest, this has been a very long road for Michael and me. I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that it turns me on to see him with another woman. I used to think something was wrong with me. But over time, Michael has helped me see that I’m not broken. What I like just doesn’t fit into what society thinks is normal. Therefore, I’m labeled a sexual freak.” She shrugged. “That’s really the bottom line.”

Caroline nodded along. It made sense on some level.

Piper continued, “Michael is connected to me during the entire…episode, for lack of a better word. And afterward we go home and have explosive sex—like, the best ever. It lasts for weeks. It’s kind of hard to explain, but it’s satisfying on so many levels. Obviously, it’s satisfying”—she made a funny face—“or we wouldn’t keep doing it. The sexual stimulation I get from it is…mind-blowing. Like hyper orgasms, three or four in a row. There’s nothing like it.”

Caroline tried not to act shocked about Piper’s blatant confessions. Instead, she straightened and focused on the countertop as she asked, “How do you cope with the guilt?” Piper had to feel guilty. “We’re not exactly trained to be okay with sharing our partners, like you said. How do you rationalize it in your mind, so you can get through the second-guessing?” She wasn’t going to confess to Piper that it had taken her much too long to shake the guilt after watching a single porn movie.

“I’m not going to lie. The guilt was extremely brutal at first. I thought for sure we were going to get divorced. There were a lot of tears, agonizing, and hand-wringing.”

That’s exactly how Caroline would’ve reacted. She nodded. “How’d you finally get over it?”

“We just kept talking about it, kept the conversation open. The simplest answer I have is because we love each other very deeply. And what it all boils down to in the end is it’s just sex. It’s not love.” Piper rested her elbow on the island, a slightly amused expression on her face. “About a year after the very first time, and all the angst was behind me, I was ready to try it again. And the second time—
lemme tell you
—was much better than the first. I knew what to expect, and the experience was greatly improved. Michael and I have since learned to make our own rules on the way over, and we always stick to them. With the couples we interact with, we can only do it once or twice a year. It takes a lot out of us to be with them. But, like I said, the payoff is fantastic. When I watch him with someone else, it’s hard to describe it accurately, but it’s like the biggest vibrator in the world is in my pants. It’s
that
hot.”

Caroline didn’t want to admit to herself that she was turned on by Piper’s confession, but she was. She wasn’t interested in having a liaison with Piper and Michael, but hearing her friend talk about voyeuristic sex was stimulating. You’d have to be dead not to feel anything. “Why is it hard to be with the other couple more than once or twice a year?”

Piper shook her head. “Because they’re much more adventurous than we are, especially one couple. They’ve been doing it a lot longer and have very few inhibitions. Even though there’s never any pressure to perform, sometimes it still feels like there is. If I could change one thing about our entire experience, it would be that we would’ve entered into this lifestyle more slowly. We could have used a little more patience. But I can’t argue with the outcome. It’s been nine years.”

“Wow. That is a long time.” She tried not to feel hurt that Piper had never mentioned anything about this throughout their friendship. These things were very private in nature. She’d been friends with Piper for the last five years, but like any friendship, it had taken time to build. They were closer now than they’d been a few years ago. “But I don’t understand how you could’ve gone slower.”

Piper smiled. “There are ways, grasshopper. You can have sex with your spouse in front of another couple, never touching anyone else. That’s a soft way to enter the lifestyle. That alone can be explosive, the pleasure intense.”

Caroline shivered.

“Or you can just have heavy foreplay with your spouse in bed with another couple who are doing the same thing. That can be erotic, still with no touching beyond your own partner. The guilt is lessened that way. You can actually do it that way for years. Or you can do the foreplay thing with someone else’s spouse, which is not sex, and is also easier to handle.”

Caroline politely coughed into her fist. The things Piper described so casually with other couples was
so
intimate. It made her blush. “I see.”

“You think I’m a total slut,” Piper said, a small accusation behind her words. “I can see it in your eyes. We’re never going to get through this, are we?” Piper dropped her head back into her hands. “I wish I could go back in time and snatch the words back from Michael’s loud, over-sharing mouth and erase them.”

“No, we’re going to be fine,” Caroline assured her friend. Then she hesitated. “I have something to admit to you, though, and I think it might help.”

Piper raised her head, a hopeful look on her face. “Like what? That you and Jason are actually swingers?” Piper gave out a choke of laughter. “That would totally make my day.”

“No, but I’m not the prude you think I am.” At Piper’s skeptical expression, she continued, feeling more confident. “Yes, I’m from the South, and I generally dress a little more conservatively than you do, but I’m not as innocent as you think. I do enjoy a little…kink on occasion.”

Piper leaned in, sputtering, “
Kink
? Oh, really? Do tell. What kind of perversions have you and Jason been getting yourself into?”

“Well, I’m particularly fond of anal beads.”

Piper almost fell off her stool. She had to right herself before she could speak, her palms hitting the countertop with a loud slap. “
Whaaat
did you just say?” She followed that with a bellow of laughter. “You didn’t just say what I thought you did.”

Caroline crossed her arms. “For your information, when your partner pulls them out slowly, during a climax, it adds to the pleasure exponentially. It’s quite nice, actually.”

Piper was laughing so hard she couldn’t respond.

“You don’t have to act so dumbfounded,” Caroline huffed. “I’m a little adventurous, so what? You just told me you had sex with other people. Anal beads are in a tame fifth or sixth place compared to your revelation.”

“Once.” Piper held up her index finger. “I had sex with another person one time. But I can truly say I’ve never had the balls to try anal beads. I thought only hookers used toys like that.”

Caroline arched a look at her friend, and then burst out laughing. “Yes, because hookers are taking the time to find ultimate pleasure with their johns.” She shook her head at her friend. “Anal beads are not the only shocking things in my bedside drawer, either. But after that hilarity, I might refuse to share any more juicy gossip.”

“No, no, you have to spill the goods now,” Piper urged. “This is making me feel
so
much better. Almost like I’m a normal person again and not some kind of crazed sex addict.” When Caroline didn’t readily reply, she continued, “Please tell me! I can’t stand it. What can be dirtier than anal beads? I must know.”

“Nipple clamps.” Caroline had a chance to look smug. “And Jace has used a cock ring.”

Piper looked incredulous.

“What? We watch a lot of porn—and I enjoy it. Most of the time. Especially one girl with two guys. Double penetration is a total turn-on for me.”

“Oh. My. Goodness!” Piper chortled. “This is like reality TV when the neighbors you least expect have the same shocking secret as you do! This might be the best day of my life. I’m so relieved to find out you have a sexy bedroom life.”

Caroline got off her stool and walked over to the cupboard and plucked out two wine glasses. “I don’t care if it’s only noon. We both deserve a drink.”

“Amen, sister,” Piper agreed, automatically heading toward the wine rack, which was mounted on the wall beneath a cabinet, where she chose a bottle of Cabernet. With the bottle in hand, she walked over, opened a drawer by the sink and retrieved an opener. Caroline set two extra-large glasses on the island, and after Piper muscled the cork out, she poured them each a hefty shot. They picked up their goblets.

“To friends,” Piper said.

“To sex.” Caroline laughed. “And lots of it.”

* * *

Jace opened the back door, and the first thing he heard was tinkling laughter. It was four in the afternoon and he was home early, hoping to surprise his wife. Jace had grown up on a farm an hour away, but his parents had moved to Madison eight years ago. Once Jace and Caroline had finished college and gotten married, they’d moved here so he could go into business with his father, buying and selling farming equipment. He enjoyed it, and it was extremely lucrative. His office was less than ten minutes away, and he was eager to see his beautiful wife. Their morning escapades had stuck with him all day, and he was hoping to coax her into a repeat performance.

He walked into the kitchen to find his wife sitting at the kitchen table with Piper. There were more than a few empty bottles of wine strewn in front of them, along with some empty plates of food.

They were both clearly drunk, and very happy.

“Is this why you didn’t answer your phone?” Jace chided as he strode over and gave his wife a kiss on the top of her head.

“I’m sorry,” Caroline said with a polite slur. “Time must’ve gotten away from us.” They both burst out laughing, Caroline hitting her thigh in delight. “I was getting all these texts from the website maintenance people, so I turned my phone to vibrate.” More laughter. “And then I left it in my office. What time is it anyway?” She turned to glance out the window. “It’s still light out.” She looked back at him. “Why are you home?”

“I came home to see you,” he said, winking. “I wasn’t expecting you to have company.”

Piper began to giggle in earnest. “No doubt he wants a repeat of this morning, you little sex kitten you.”

Jace’s gaze whipped to Piper, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. Then he glanced back at his wife.

Caroline had never talked to anyone about their sex life, which he knew for a fact because she’d told him on numerous occasions it was no one’s business what they did in their bedroom.

He realized they were both staring at him, waiting for some kind of response. “Ah, yes. That’s a correct assumption. You were…amazing…and I…came home early to see you,” he finished lamely.

This was awkward.

“Oh, that’s so sweet,” Piper said, clapping her hands. “You weren’t lying when you told me you were a good lay, Caroline. Good for you!” Piper slurred the last bit as she put her hand up for a rocky high-five, which Caroline leaned over and smacked with the force of a wet noodle.

Because they were so blitzed, Jace didn’t take as much offense as maybe he should have. “So, I take it you two have been drinking?” He glanced at the table. “Was it three bottles of wine? Or four?”