We Go On (THE DELL) (14 page)

I haven't had a lot of time to write over the last month and
a half. I've gone to bed dog-tired nearly every night since we started the move
from the Lebanon compound to the Dell. There have been many more problems with
the move and the aftermath than I ever expected. Most of the problems have been
minor, concerning the breakdown of equipment and running out of certain
supplies but a few of the problems have been serious. And the source of the
problems has left me disillusioned.

We started the move around the first week of September and
the evacuation of the Lebanon compound went smoother than I had anticipated. I
expected there to be problems with that part. I wasn't prepared for there to be
problems with the moving into The Dell part. As soon as the part of our group
that had remained in Lebanon started showing up we ran into trouble. There were
issues with supplies that we had never had before.

We don't use money or a barter system. So far, the way we
have done things eliminates the need for money. If we need something, we go and
scavenge it. If we have something, it is shared equally with the whole group.
Food is dispersed by weight or volume and is based on how many people in your
family group that you’re trying to feed. Everybody gets the same amount. If we
have it, it gets dispensed. There is no hoarding and the theft of food is taken
very serious. As a matter of fact, stealing food gets you kicked out of the
group. I made that clear from the start. I won't tolerate it and I'm not about
to watch kids go hungry because someone is used to more food than we can spare.

All of our other supplies are handed out in much the same
way. You come to Jim and explain your need and if we have it on hand you get
your fair share of whatever it is. Just because someone else might not want a
part of whatever it is does not mean you can have two shares. I've found that
the only way to make a group like ours work is to be ruthlessly fair about
things and for everything to be as transparent as possible. I don't allow
supplies to be hidden and I explain every decision made concerning the
distribution of food and other items. That way no one can say that the
leadership, Jim, Dave, and me, keep more for ourselves or that we are taking
care of certain individuals. So far, that system has worked well. Not so much
now, though.

As soon as the rest of the group started showing up, we
experienced arguments and hurt feelings. We've managed to squash most of it but
there are still a few arguments that we haven't been able to resolve. It all
started over the choice of housing. When Jim, Dave, and I discuss issues like
housing we try and base the decision on need, the size of the family and so on,
and then once the decision is made we inform everybody involved. If the
decision is sure to be unpopular, then I make it and I am the one that takes
the heat for it. Before the move, Jim and I talked about the how the houses
would be assigned and thought we had come up with a fair system.

The largest houses were set aside to be used as dorms for
the single folks we have in the group. The big houses have the most rooms and
allow anyone living there to have some privacy. The smaller houses would then
be assigned based on the number of people in the family with a few houses set
aside for any new comers that might show up and want to stay. I thought this
was a fair system. Unfortunately, not everyone agreed with that assessment.

We had arguments right from the start.

 "My house isn't big enough."

"My house is too big."

"Can't I have the house next door?"

"Why do the singles get the big house?"

Kat pointed out that she had warned me this would happen and
she was surprised that I wasn't prepared for it. I pointed out that I thought
we had this part under control. That's why we’d spent so much time working out
the details. She said that was part of the problem, we’d taken all the decision
making out of it and people resented not having any control over their own
lives. I had to agree with her but I also had to point out that we didn't have
room or the ability to cater to everyone’s personal needs. We had to do what
was right for the entire group and not base our decisions on personal wants,
likes, or dislikes. She nodded her understanding. "Welcome to the
government," she said.

I pointed out that her and I had been in government most of
our adult lives.

"Yea, but now you're Big Brother telling people where
they can live and how they have to live. Not a popular concept,” she said.

"I get it but it's no different than what we've been
doing for the last five years," I answered.

She shook her head. "It's a lot different. People
thought by coming here they'd be secure and secure means that all the personal
freedoms they lost would be restored. They were expecting things to be more
like they used to be. Not more of the same in a new location."

"Well that's just silly. Of course, things are still
the same. We still have the Stinkies and the Road Gangs to worry about. That's
why that big wall is out there," I said, pointing in the general direction
of the wall. "We’re still about a heartbeat away from starvation and I
don't have time to listen to somebody whine about the fact they have to pack
water from the spring farther than their neighbor does."

She laughed and nodded. "I know it’s silly, dear, but
you’re going to have to find a way to balance all of this or this place isn’t
going to work." I asked what she meant. "Yes, I agree the needs of
the group should be your main concern but if you don't try to accommodate some
of needs of the individuals there won't be a group. People will become
disillusioned, some will rebel and most will eventually leave whether it’s in
their best interest or not,” she explained.

I wanted to tell her if leaving was what they wanted, they
were welcome to it. That’s not the right way to look at it but all this
controversy over what I considered to be such a trivial matter really pissed me
off.

I’m smart enough to realize that if people started leaving
that some of the skills we depended on here for survival would go with them.
That hurt the chances of the rest of us to survive. I couldn't let that happen.
Kat was right; I had to find a way to balance the group against the individual.
I told her I understood what she meant and would try to find a way to appease
people.

When the final move to The Dell was made not all of the
projects were completed. We were still finishing the guard towers. They were up
and functional but not all of them had a roof and some were still missing
sandbags for protection.

Another project that wasn't complete yet was our electrical
system. The valley had electrical power in the time before the Event and power
lines ran alongside the road down the valleys center. We had the two large
generators but deciding how best to use them had been a problem. We didn't have
an electrical engineer in the group and they are hard to come by now. What we
eventually decided was to use the lines already in place to carry the power.

We built a shed at each end of town and placed a generator
in each. We cut the power lines as close to the center of town as we could and
hooked up each side to its own generator. That meant that each genny only had
to run half the village. All of our handymen had gotten together and thought
this should work. So far, it hasn't, and they were still trying to run down
what the problem was.

There hadn't been city water in The Dell. Most houses
received their water from wells dug close to the house. An electric pump on the
well supplied the house with the water. If we could get the electricity up and
running, all the houses should have an internal supply of water and no one
would have to carry water then. I decided that should be my first project to
try and mollify the group. Electrical power and water in each house should go a
long way toward pacifying everyone.

I talked to Jim the next day and he thought that would make
folks a lot happier and happy people argue less than unhappy ones. He and I
went to talk to the guy's working the generator issue and explained what we
wanted. I wanted those generators up and providing power as quick as they could
get it done.

Our electrical expert was Tony Jessup. I explained to him
how important it was to get the power working. He said he understood and they
would redouble their efforts to get it fixed. He said he thought they were
close and he'd let me know as soon as they had it fixed. That was all I could
do, wait for them to get it going. Standing over them and yelling, "Hurry
up!" wasn't going to work. So I left them to it and hoped they would be
quick.

Over the next couple of days we had to quell several
arguments. We even had a couple of fights, real physical confrontations, and I
grew more concerned. The latest incidents had to do with property lines and
that was enough as far as I was concerned. I told Jim and Dave both to pass the
word that there would be a village meeting in the church this evening at 6 p.m.
and to make sure that everyone understood it was mandatory. I wanted the entire
group there to hear what I had to say.

I knew the meeting wasn't going to be pretty and I needed to
calm down and prepare what I wanted to say so I went home to rest and prepare.
Home. It's funny how quick I had taken to calling the little cottage home. Kat
and I had worked hard to get the place cleaned up and with our few possessions
scattered throughout it now had a homey feel. We enjoyed sitting on the porch
in the mornings and having a cup of coffee and in the evenings we would sit and
talk while we watched the sun set.

It’s the closest thing to a home we’ve had since the day of
the Event. I was happy and Kat was happier than I had seen her in a long time.
With the way we felt after moving to the Dell, I couldn't understand why we
were having these problems. I hoped I could get some answers at tonight's
meeting.

I spent the afternoon at the cottage with Kat. We discussed
what I intended to say at the meeting tonight and she gave me suggestions on
how to handle some of the arguments that would surely come up. I told her how I
intended to explain that our situation remained unchanged and that all the same
rules that had governed us in Lebanon still applied here. She asked if I had
given anymore thought to a transfer of authority to an elected leadership. I
told her I had been thinking about it and considered moving that way the next
summer if the food situation stabilized. She told me she thought it was a good
idea and telling the group that tonight might help to stop some of the
bickering. I said I'd think about it as we fixed dinner.

We ate an early dinner and I enjoyed a small bourbon on the
porch before we headed down to the meeting. I was still hungry and I knew Kat
was as well. Our dinner had consisted of a cup of rice each and a can of mixed
vegetables. It wasn't much but it kept us from starving. I sat on the porch
after dinner and sipped my drink thinking about the meeting and getting
mentally prepared for the confrontation that was sure to come. I wasn't looking
forward to it.

Kat and I walked down to the church just before six. The sun
had set and it looked like it was going to be a pleasant late summer evening.
If I'd known how unpleasant things were going to get, I might have turned
around and went back to the cottage.

The doors were open on the front of the church and I could
see people already inside. The noise emanating from the building told me that
our flock was already deep in discussion and they didn't sound happy. I entered
to find Kat and I were the last to show. The place was packed and all eyes
turned toward us as we came through the door. Jim and Dave were at the front
beside the pulpit and I could tell from Dave's face that he was concerned. 

I showed my wife to one of the pews in front and I mounted
the dais to join my two assistants. I conferred with each and Dave confided
that he was indeed concerned and had stationed some of his security people in
the back rooms in case they were needed. Jim just shook his head. "I hope
you have something brilliant planned. I think we’re going to need it," he
said.

"Well here goes," was all I said as I stepped up
to the pulpit and signaled for quiet. It took a couple of minutes but everyone
finally settled down and I was able to begin. "I asked you to come here
tonight so that we might, together, come to a resolution on the problems we
have encountered since our move," I said, addressing the entire
congregation.

There wasn't an immediate call to have me tarred and
feathered. "We have only been here a week or so and we’re already facing
difficulties that I don't think any of us were prepared for. What I'd like to
do tonight is find out what all your feelings are and then try and come up with
a solution that is acceptable to everyone.”

I glance at Kat and she nodded for me to continue. "I
know some of you are not happy with the way The Dell is organized and I'm sure
you think that your anger is justified. So, I would like to start by saying
that whatever you might think or what you thought moving here would mean but
our situation is exactly the same as it was at the Lebanon compound. I think if
you understand that, a lot of the other issues will go away."

Before I could continue, a young man about halfway back on
the right stood up. "What you mean is that you three are still in charge
and the rest of us have to eat the shit you throw us," he said. There was
an immediate clamor of support for what had just been said. I tried to regain
control by staying calm and asking for quiet. It wasn't working.

The young man that had made the comment was Stanley Hooten.
He liked his friends to call him Hoot and he had come to the group while we
were still in Missouri. He was a big kid, well over six-feet but had lost some
of his bulk due to our forced diet. He was far younger than I was and I knew he
had the potential to be formidable in a fight. I could see his girlfriend, Dawn
Taylor, sitting next to him, goading him on, though I couldn't hear what she
said. Dawn and her family had literally run into us on the road from Memphis.
She was young and her age didn’t help her to accept the present situation at
all. Her parents, Ricky and Diane, had assimilated into the group well but Dawn
never had. I had seen her and Stanley hanging together and hoped that they
might help each other accept things as they now were. I could see that wasn’t
happening.