WAY OF THE SHADOWS (8 page)

“Then why were you with me? Why did you give yourself to me?” The words held a hard demand.

She licked her lips and swore she could still taste him. “Because I needed you right then...” She thought of his words. “More than I needed anyone or anything.” Even the secrets of her past. Secrets her gut told her he knew.

He didn’t speak. Maybe he was back to being Strong and Silent. That was okay. Noelle found she had plenty to say. “What happened between us tonight wasn’t about the past. It was only about the present. About me needing you. About you needing me. I’m not looking for forever.” Was that why he was giving her the spiel about sex being a necessity? She straightened her shoulders and vowed not to crumble. “I just needed you, because when you look at me—” and she’d seen this in his gaze “—you see
me.
Flaws. Strengths. You seem to see all of me, and you want what you see.”

He didn’t realize how important that was to her. She felt broken on the inside, but he looked at her with such hunger, such desire.

Maybe it was time for them to be completely honest. They were alone in the cabin. Separated from the rest of the world by the storm. “I know you were there,” she whispered.

Because Noelle was watching him so closely, she saw the slight hardening of his mouth.

“It’s not me being confused. I hear your voice, and I know you were there when I was taken.” There had been so many law enforcement personnel swarming the little cabin when she was rescued. Had he been a deputy back then? A face that she couldn’t remember, but a voice that had stayed with her? “What I don’t understand is...why...after everything, you just won’t admit the truth to me. It’s my life. I should have the highest possible clearance when it comes to
me.
”

His hand rose. The back of his fingers brushed over her cheek. He swallowed and whispered, “I was there.”

It took an instant for those words to sink in. “When the rescuers came for me?”

His eyes closed. “I saw you in my mind for years after that night. I hated to leave you, but I didn’t have a choice. The mission I was on meant that I couldn’t be compromised. Other lives were at stake.”

Her heart should have been racing. Instead, its beat was slow. Everything felt slow for her right then. “You didn’t answer my question.”

His eyes opened.

“Were you there when the rescuers came?” She remembered a deputy, a guy with a wide-brimmed hat who’d pulled her from the chair and guided her from the cabin. After she’d gotten outside, the deputy had vanished. But he’d been...good to her. He’d pulled her from the darkness and—

Thomas shook his head.

Her heart stopped then. “Thomas?”

“I was told never to talk about that night.”

She couldn’t have this conversation covered only in a blanket. And she couldn’t leave the room right then, not if her life depended on it. “Who told you?”

“Mercer.”

The puppet master. The man always pulling the strings. The man who’d been in and out of Noelle’s life for years.
“Why?”

“Because EOD agents can’t be compromised, you know that.”

She had to figure this out before she shattered. “You’re thirty-seven.”

His head inclined toward her.

“Fifteen years ago...you would have only been twenty-two.” The background file Mercer had given to her had indicated Thomas hadn’t joined the EOD until he was twenty-seven, after he’d spent years working operations as an Army Ranger.

“I was twenty-two, and I’d been killing for the government for years by then.”

“You weren’t EOD.” He
couldn’t
have been.

Thomas simply stared back at her.

“Tell me!”

“I’ve been with the EOD since I was twenty-one years old.” His lips twisted. “I told you, I was very, very good at my job.”

A wave of dizziness had her stepping back from him. “Mercer knows what happened to me, too, doesn’t he?” He’s known, and for years, he’s said nothing.

Thomas nodded.

“Why? It’s my life!”
Anger was cracking through her.

“But other lives were on the line. We thought... We thought your abduction was an isolated incident.” He tried to reach out for her, but she flinched back. “I didn’t know there were other girls involved, not until we found those pictures.”

Had Mercer known? Was that why he’d been so adamant she investigate the senator? “Tell me everything.”

“Clearance—”

“Don’t!”
How dare he throw that up to her? “You just made love to me. There were no barriers between us. It was you and it was me.” She heaved out a breath. Her heart wasn’t beating slowly anymore. It was thundering in her chest. “I’ve had a void in my mind for years. A void that you could fill. All you had to do was speak. Just...tell me.” She was about to rip that cover in two with her grip. “Do it now, Thomas. Tell me. I’m not crazy. I remember your voice, I remember—”

“You were in the woods.” His voice was flat. Ice cold. “I heard your screams, so I ran to investigate.”

Her knees almost gave way. She grabbed for the mantel and kept one hand around the cover that shielded her.

His hands were fists at his sides. “You were fleeing in the woods. You were hysterical, crying, saying that a man was chasing you.” The faint lines around his mouth deepened in the firelight.
“Hunting you.”

Goose bumps rose on her skin.

“I didn’t see anyone, and you... You were too pale. Your pupils were dilated, and I thought—I thought you were on drugs. At first.”

She could only shake her head. But...the doctors
had
thought she’d been drugged.
Rohypnol.
Since it could cause memory loss, that had been the drug they suspected the most.
And
since it could be untraceable in the blood after the passage of time, they’d figured her abductor must have given it to her.

“Then I saw your hands. You had bruises around your wrists. As if you’d been tied up. Restrained.”

Her lungs were starving for air, even though she was breathing as deeply as she could.

“I never expected to find you in those woods. Saving you... It wasn’t my mission, but...
I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt you.
”

“They found me in the cabin.” His story wasn’t making sense to her. She’d been in the cabin, not out in the open, in the woods.

“Because I took you back there.”

She stumbled away from the mantel. “I was tied up!
You
did that to me?”

He tried to grab her, but even though she’d craved his touch before, she couldn’t stand it right then.

And she needed clothes.

Clothes!

She spun away from him. Grabbed a flashlight and then she was running up the stairs.

“Noelle!”

Her world was shaking, and she wasn’t going to stand there, naked. She shoved open the door to her bedroom. Her flashlight hit on the bed. It was so cold in there. Icy.

She grabbed for her suitcase, even as she heard him thundering up the stairs behind her. She yanked on her jeans. Pulled on a T-shirt. Didn’t slow down for underwear. Her teeth were chattering. So cold. So cold because—

The window was open.

Noelle froze.

“We’ve started, and we aren’t stopping,” Thomas said as he stormed into her room. “Mercer is going to fire my ass, but I don’t care. I won’t hold back with you any longer. After what happened tonight, I can’t.”

Her flashlight was on the window. “Why is it open?” It shouldn’t be open. It had been locked when they’d left before.

Her light hit the floor. Snow was inside, some melted, some still a hard white.

“Where’s your weapon?” Thomas asked her, voice whisper soft.

The window was open, and it looked... It almost looked as if there were wet boot prints on the hardwood floor.

“Downstairs.” There was no way someone could’ve gotten into the cabin, not while they were there and...making love.

Would I even have noticed an intruder then?
No.

Thomas’s hand closed around her arm. “You stay next to me, got it?” He didn’t have his weapon, either. Both guns... They were downstairs. They’d put them aside in their frantic need for each other.

She turned toward Thomas. “Are we alone?” The storm was still raging. The wind was so strong. Maybe—maybe the window had just blown open. She pulled away from Thomas and went toward that window. Shut it. Locked it.

And Thomas was right by her, moving to keep his body beside hers. “We’re about to find out,” he told her, voice still low and soft. “You stay with me, and we’re going to do a full-house sweep.”

“
After
we get our weapons.” His words about her past were swirling through her mind, but this...new fear was within her. Jenny’s abductor had gotten away. Had he come after them? They went back down the stairs on silent feet. The shadows seemed to stretch all around them.

Noelle’s skin crawled at the thought of someone being in that cabin with them, watching them while they made love.

Thomas’s gun was just where he’d left it. So was hers. When the gun was in Noelle’s hands, she finally felt better. They checked the cabin, moving room by room.

But no one was there.

No other windows were open.

It must’ve just been the storm. The wind...

Thomas headed toward the cabin’s back door.

“What are you doing?” Noelle asked him.

He spared her a brief glance as he shouldered into his coat. He’d already donned his shirt and boots. “I’m checking the exterior perimeter.”

Noelle shook her head. “In this storm? You need to stay inside.”
And you need to finish telling me what really happened that long-ago night.

But his jaw was locked and his body radiated determination. “The window was open. I’m making damn sure someone didn’t open it. I want to check outside and see if there are any signs of an intruder.”

“There won’t be any signs. The snow would’ve covered any signs.”

He motioned toward her gun. “Keep your weapon close until I get back.”

No. He wasn’t walking out into that storm without her. “If you’re going, then so am I.”

Thomas shook his head. “I need you to stay inside. The weather is going to be rough enough as it is. One of us has to make sure the interior of this place remains secure.”

“But—”

But he wasn’t listening to her.

Thomas was already gone.

Chapter Seven

Thomas mentally cursed himself as he trudged through the snow. He should never have lowered his guard. For someone to get close enough to the house...to get
inside
while he was there... Thomas knew he was seriously slipping. That didn’t happen. He was always aware of his surroundings and of any threats that were close.

But when Noelle had kissed him back, when she’d responded so wildly, he’d lost control. He’d taken what he’d wanted for so long.

And he’d been blind to everything else.

Then...hell, he’d revealed too much. Mercer would nail his hide to the wall, but Thomas didn’t care. Noelle deserved to know what was happening.
Especially
if the past was coming back—and it sure looked as if it was.

He headed around the cabin and shined his light up near Noelle’s window.

Snow covered the area once more, and there was no sign up there anyone had been climbing on the cabin. No sign but...

His light lowered. It hit the ground. The snow was blowing wildly around him, flying hard. He turned to the left because over the howl of the wind, he’d thought he’d heard—

His light fell on the shadowy form of man. A man who stood less than fifteen feet away from him. The man was bundled up, with a thick ski mask covering his face.

He stared at Thomas for an instant, then he spun away.

“Stop!” Thomas snarled.

But the man didn’t stop. He ran into the thick snow, heading for the line of trees.

And Thomas hurried after him as he fought the grasping hold of the snow.

* * *

T
HE
THUNDER
OF
a gunshot rose over the howling of the wind.

Noelle lunged for the door when she heard that sound. Forget securing the interior of the cabin. Thomas needed her!

She already had on her borrowed coat, and she rushed for the door with her flashlight in one hand and her gun in the other. She didn’t have on gloves, and the wind whipped against her skin.

“Thomas!” The gale seemed to yank the cry away from her.

Another gunshot rang out. It sounded as though it had come from the line of trees near the east. She fought the snow and struggled in that direction.

Her light flew around. She didn’t see Thomas and couldn’t see anything but the line of trees and a haze of white as the snow spun in the air.

Thomas wasn’t answering her call. Had he been the one firing? Or had someone been shooting at him?

She pushed into the shadows of the trees. The cold was already making her body shake. Her fingers had a death grip on the flashlight and the gun.

A shadow rushed to the side, moving in the corner of her light. She spun to the left.
“Thomas?”

Then something hit her. No,
someone.
The tackle sent Noelle flying into the snow. She shoved up with her elbow, ready to break her assailant’s nose.

“It’s me!”

Thomas’s voice.

“He’s got a gun, baby, so be careful.” He rose then. He didn’t have a light, and hers had slipped from her grip. She floundered, trying to find it, but he caught her hand. “The light just makes us a bigger target.”

Noelle thought she heard laughter then, tangled with the howl of the wind.

Thomas pulled away from her. He seemed to be swallowed by the thick snow. She scrambled to her feet. Her eyes were narrowed as she struggled to keep him in her line of sight, but he was moving quickly, even in that thick curtain. Heading deeper into the woods as he followed his prey.

Someone was in the house with us. Someone saw...

“I remember you...”

Did she hear those words? Imagine them? The storm was so loud.

“Noelle...” Something brushed over her arm, and she jumped as she spun around.

But... No one was there.

Her attention jerked back toward Thomas. He’d just rushed into a thick copse of trees. She hurried after him.

And tripped, slamming right into the ground.

Swearing, she fought to rise again, but her fingers caught the—the rope that had been hidden near her feet. Rope that had been used to trip her.

A trap. For prey.

For them.

“Thomas!” Noelle screamed. “Stop! It’s a setup!” The window, the shots... They were designed to lure them out into this wilderness.

She pushed onto her knees, then staggered after Thomas. He hadn’t heard her cry. He hadn’t stopped. She had to get to him.

Noelle shoved through the line of trees, and a hand grabbed her arm. She saw the thick outline of a man before her, a man covered in winter clothing, but—

Not Thomas.

She fired her weapon. The bullet hit him, she knew it did. This close, there was no way she could miss, but he didn’t let her go. He tightened his hold on her and yanked her forward.

And he—he
threw
her.

Noelle screamed once more, but the wind was wailing around her. She expected to hit the snow when she fell, but she hit something hard instead.

Ice.

And she felt that ice begin to splinter beneath her hand.

The sound of laughter seemed to float on the wind once more.

“Noelle!”

Thomas. That wasn’t laughter; that was
his
frantic voice.

She looked up. He was fighting to get close to her.
“Don’t!”
She tried to yell as loudly as she could. She raised her arm toward him.

And felt more of the ice crack beneath her.

“Stay back!” Could he hear her? “It’s giving way! We’ll both—”

The ice broke, and Noelle fell into the frigid water. It was so cold it stole her breath. Her feet and legs seemed to go numb right away. She couldn’t move them, couldn’t kick. Her arms had flown out in front of her when the ice broke, and they were still above the surface. She slapped them down on the frozen plane, hoping to find a way to secure herself because she was going down. Her heart was racing. The water was freezing her.

“I’ve got you!”
Fingers wrapped around hers.

Her gaze flew up. She could barely make out Thomas’s form. He was lying on the ice, his body spread out. His fingers were around hers, but she couldn’t feel his touch.

She couldn’t feel anything but that Arctic water, and it was pulling her down.

“I’m getting you out!” He was yelling, but his words sounded like a whisper. “We have to keep our weight distributed. Don’t stand up when you’re clear....”

He was pulling her up. Inch by slow, desperate inch.

He thought she was planning to stand? Her legs weren’t working, her teeth were chattering, and she was afraid she’d pass out at any moment.

But he kept pulling her. Slowly. Carefully. Her hips hit something solid. She could feel new splinters in that surface beneath her.
“H-hurry...”
Noelle managed to rasp because she was terrified more of the ice was about to give way. If she and Thomas both went in, they wouldn’t come out.

He didn’t hurry. He kept up that inching pace. Her whole body shuddered with cold. Her hands were numb in his grasp. Her face was against the ice. The cracks scratched her skin.

“We’re almost there, baby. Hold on for me.”

She wasn’t holding on to him at all. She couldn’t.

“Got you!”
Thomas yanked her forward and into his arms. He fiercely held her. She should feel the warmth from his body. She didn’t. Tremors shook her. Her gaze fell on the shadows behind them as Thomas tried to rub her arms and her legs. He was yanking at her wet clothes.

“B-behind...” Speaking was so hard. She tried to push at him. To warn him.

Thomas was too fixated on her.

“G-gun...” Where was his weapon? They needed it.

Thomas’s head flew up.

“B-behind...”

He pushed her down into the snow. His hand hit the ground near her and when it rose again, she saw he had his weapon. He fired. Once. Twice.

She’d seen the shadow out there watching them. Waiting for another moment to attack.

“He’s running,” Thomas snarled.

“F-follow...” The man had already gotten away once. They couldn’t afford to let him vanish again.

“If I do, you’re dead.” He pulled her into his arms and kept his gun ready. “No, baby, that’s not happening. You’re priority.”

She needed to help him. The attacker could circle back around. Everything that was happening... It was all one big trap. She had to help Thomas.

But she could only shudder.

He pulled her closer. “I’ve got you, and I won’t let you go...”

* * *

T
HE
SNOW
WAS
a blur around him. The agent had Noelle. He was trying to make his way back to the cabin with her.

His chest burned where Noelle’s bullet had hit him. The blood was leaving a trail in the snow. But the storm would make that trail vanish. The storm would...

He leaned against a tree as he fought to catch his breath. The man’s bullet had grazed his arm, cutting through the coat, but Noelle’s had been the one to do the most damage. He’d just been caught off-guard by her. To see her, standing right in front of him, after all of those years...

She was a ghost from his past.

A ghost who had
shot
him. He’d reacted instinctively when the bullet hit. He’d grabbed her and thrown her toward the ice.

The ice had been meant for the man—the one called Thomas. The fellow was proving himself to be a worthy hunter.

But he’d still die.

And I remember you, Thomas...
Because he’d crossed paths with that man before. Only Thomas hadn’t been such a
good
guy then. Noelle had no clue about the man she thought was her partner.

No. Clue.

Thomas would die soon. So would Noelle.

It was just a matter of time....

The wound throbbed. He shoved more snow against it. Damn it, he was going to have to stop that bleeding. He could feel weakness pushing through his blood. But where the hell was he supposed to find help in this storm?

Gritting his teeth, he trudged forward. He’d stayed alive through plenty of attacks. He’d survive this, too, and then...then he’d make Noelle Evers and her partner
pay.

* * *

“N
OELLE
? B
ABY
,
LOOK
AT
ME
.
” Thomas yanked the wet clothing off Noelle and tossed the items away. He’d made it back to the cabin with her. He’d locked the doors, secured the place in seconds, and now he was trying to get her warm again.

Her lips were totally devoid of color. Her face far too pale. Her skin was icy beneath his touch, and shudders racked her.

“It’s okay,” he told her, aware his voice was ragged. “I’ve got you.” Fear still raced through his veins. When she’d gone through the ice, he’d been terrified he wouldn’t be able to get her out in time.

“T-Thomas?”

“Yes, baby, I’ve got you.” He knew he was just repeating himself, but he didn’t care. He settled her on the rug in front of the fireplace and wrapped the blanket around her. Her fingers fumbled as she tried to hold up the fabric.

Get her warm. Keep her safe.
Those were his two priorities. He stoked the fire, building up the flames, then he stripped as quickly as he could. But Thomas made sure to keep his gun close by. He was pretty certain the perp they wanted was still out in that storm, but he wasn’t going to take any chances.

He wanted to search the whole cabin again, but he couldn’t, not until he took care of Noelle.

He turned back to her. The blanket had slipped down to her hips.

“Baby...” He dropped beside her and pulled her close. He stretched out with her, and he wrapped his body around hers as best he could. Flesh to flesh. His body could warm hers. He positioned the blanket around her and he just... He just held her. Held her and tried to fight the gnawing fear in his stomach.

He’d stared down terrorists, looked into the barrel of a loaded gun during a particularly brutal game of Russian roulette.

He’d battled through hellfire.

But he’d never been as afraid as he’d been when she screamed his name and fell through the ice.

Never again.
He had to find that SOB out there. He had to stop him before the man came after Noelle once more.

His hands slid over her back. She was shivering, and her lips were pressed against his neck. He wanted to take all of her pain away. He wanted to do anything, everything to protect her.

Yet the only thing he could do was hold her. Hold her and try to give her his warmth.

The fire crackled, and gradually, the shivers eased from her body. His hands curled around her hips. She felt warmer. At least, he hoped she did.

“Thank you...” Her soft whisper blew against his neck. “I was...a-afraid I wasn’t getting out of the water.”

His hold tightened on her. “I never would’ve left you.” If necessary, he would’ve gone in that water and found a way to pull her out.

He’d left her once before. Followed orders, even though every instinct he possessed had screamed against it. He wouldn’t make that mistake ever again.

Her lips pressed against his throat. The lightest of caresses.

Thomas swallowed. “You should...probably not do that.”

When she’d been shivering with cold, they’d had to be close
and
naked for survival.

But she was warmer, and he—he
always
wanted her.

She kissed his neck again.
“Thank you.”
He felt the light lick of her tongue against his skin.

His eyes squeezed shut. The woman didn’t seem to realize just how fragile his control was. When it came to her, hell, he couldn’t
keep
control in place. Not a possibility.

Her legs shifted against him, parted so her thighs were on either side of his.

Bad, bad mistake. “Noelle...”

She kissed him again. He’d never realized how sensitive his neck was. When Noelle kissed him there, when she licked him with that delicate little tongue of hers, a wave of arousal shot right through his body. He was already hard for her, with her naked body rubbing against his, how could he not be? But now...