Watercolour Smile (20 page)

“I don’t know.” My brow creased in concentration, and I ventured into my own feelings with a hefty dose of caution. I was uneasy, afraid, and there was a bad taste in my mouth… but then again, that had been an almost-permanent state since the messenger had appeared in my life. “It’s just… I feel like this is all moving too fast. I know I encouraged everyone to date, and I feel like they should be free to do what they like, but…”
If Cabe and Noah were doing it, and Quillan was doing it…
“Maybe she didn’t give him a chance to say no? Maybe he’s drunk?”

Her frown deepened and she snapped the sketchbook closed, thrusting it back at me like it was contagious. “So what’s the plan? Because your eyes are all bright like you’re on drugs, so I’m guessing there
is
a plan.”

I opened the book again and pointed at Danny. Her frown slowly melted away into a grin and a mischievous twinkle flashed into her brown eyes, making the golden flecks even brighter. “Ooh,” she pinched my cheek, “that’s good. That’s really good.”

“Are you ignoring Mike for any reason other than the fact that he let Danny manipulate a date out of me?”

“You thinking we try this double-date again?” She laughed. “Give them a taste of their own medicine?”

“Not a
date
date,” I hedged, since going on a proper date would probably tempt the messenger back into my life. “More like a group hangout.”

“You have a devious mind, munchkin. You’re way too pretty to have a mind that devious. Frankly, it’s frightening.” She ruffled my hair and then spun around, heading off to her first class with a spring in her step. She paused when she was halfway down the hall and turned back, shouting out to me. “You do the asking!”

A few kids turned to see who she was yelling at, and I tucked my head down to hide my smile. I hurried to Calculus and slid into the seat beside Noah. He stared at me, but didn’t say anything as the teacher walked in right behind me. Once the bell rang, he slapped a hand down over my books and I stayed seated as the rest of the class got up to file out of the room.

“What the hell is going on, Seph?” He dipped forward to whisper to me, casting a shadow over me that wasn’t so much caused by darkness so much as his presence; it was the slight heat of his body and the unique scent of him—draping over me in an eerily tangible way.

“It’s nothing,” I mumbled. “I’m handling it.”

He made a sound that hinted at frustration boiling into anger and stood, gathering my books and taking my arm lightly. He walked me out of the room and then dropped his touch from my arm, walking beside me at a reasonable distance.

“Tariq told us what happened at the gym,” he said. “We can understand why you wouldn’t talk to Silas—but the rest of us?”

“I’m not worried about that. Not really, anyway. It was just a stupid prank.”

“Then what
are
you worried about, and why can’t you tell us?”

I shook my head and he grabbed my arm again, a little harder this time. He steered me away from the direction of our next class and toward the faculty offices, pulling his phone out of his pocket and sending a text to someone. We pushed into Quillan’s empty office and Noah released me. I held my hands behind my back to hide the nervous tremor in my fingers.

“We can’t skip class,” I said uneasily.

“Yes,” he ground out, crossing his arms. “We can. Didn’t you know? We’re the Adairs. Even the teachers are scared of us.”

Behind him, Cabe pushed open the door. He wasn’t smiling, and he turned and locked the door before leaning back against it, regarding me with a narrow-eyed expression.

“We’ll skip as many classes as it takes for you to tell us what’s happening,” Cabe said, using his hard voice.

Yeesh
.

I backed away from the both of them until I could feel the windowsill behind me. I should have noticed it happening; the storm gradually kicking up in Noah’s blue eyes, and the tightening of Cabe’s smile, until the unyielding glint that I hated seeing formed in his expression.

“This whole dating thing…” I breathed out as my shoulders slumped forward. “It’s just… it’s taking some getting used to.”
No, that wasn’t the right thing to say
. “I mean… I know I was the one who pushed for it.” I shook my head, trying to find the right words.

I want you both to be happy. To have me, and to have your own lives. To be able to do normal things, like going on dates, and kissing that girl in the picture… but…
I made a strangled sound, the truth tying into knots and stilting the words on my tongue. I couldn’t tell them. I couldn’t explain that when the stories circulated school, my stomach lurched and the bond sent painful twinges of rejection and envy through me. I couldn’t admit that I was petrified of the day that a rumour reached me about Silas. I couldn’t tell them that the real problem was me.

I wanted things I couldn’t have.

I couldn’t let them go, yet I wanted to to be free of our connection, and I was being forced to pretend that both needs were dormant, while they put on a show for Weston.

Pain flickered over Noah’s face and Cabe abandoned the door, walking to me and pulling me into his arms.

“We’ll stop then,” he muttered, holding me against him. “We’ll find a different way to throw off Weston. It’s not worth it to see you hurting like this.”

They didn’t understand
.

“Cabe.” Noah spoke from behind his brother. “Step back a second, let me see her face.”

“
Nooo
,” I complained as Cabe moved away from me. “Not Noah.”

Cabe laughed, but Noah narrowed his eyes on my face, stepping forward and capturing my chin. He was going to ask me something and stare at me like that until I told them things that I would rather keep to myself.

“Sweetheart…” Noah flicked his thumb up over my lip, tugging it out from between the death-grip of my teeth. “Stop doing that. Tell us what happened, I know that something happened.” I captured my lip again, just to spite him, and his eyes turned stormy. “Seraph…”

“Fine!” My voice cracked a little bit, because him saying my name like a reprimand had finally broken me. “Someone stole my stuff and I was upset so I came up here to see if Miro was still here so that I could get a lift home with him and Tabby, and that Sam woman was here again—”

“Sam?” Noah looked confused.

“Brown hair, tall and thin, dresses like she’s walked right out of an upstate law firm.”

“Samantha Trick?” Noah’s confusion deepened. “What’s she doing hanging around?”

“She’s his ex-girlfriend?”

“No,” Cabe interrupted. “Her
sister
was his ex-girlfriend. Annie.”

I frowned, my mind flying back to what Quillan had said about Sam. “He said they were involved, in a way, before you all moved to Seattle.”

“It’s part of the reason we moved,” Cabe said as Noah’s eyes became unfocussed, drifting over my shoulder to stare out of the window. “Annie died.”

I felt like my world had just tipped from its axis, and I glanced back at Noah, hoping that his eyes would ground me as they usually did. Instead, he seemed as lost as me. Now definitely wasn’t the time to bring up the forecasting. Cabe and Noah settled onto the couch and I moved to sit on the end of Quillan’s desk.

“He hasn’t mentioned anything,” Noah said, drumming his fingers on the armrest of the couch. “That’s not like him.”

“You’re worried about it?” I looked between them. “Why don’t you just ask him?”

“Seph,” Cabe gave me a look that said my question was pretty ridiculous. “Miro is the opposite of Silas. Silas throws dynamite onto the flames and Miro smothers everything with a fireproof blanket. He’s always complaining about us getting involved in his business.”

“Why are you so worried?”

“Because when he
doesn’t
mention something, that’s when we
should
be worried, that’s when we know that there’s a fire,” Noah answered, cocking his head at me. “Looks like he’s not the only one who does it.”

I made a face. “Well maybe I could talk to him?”

“Not a good idea.” Noah turned away from me.

“Why not?” Cabe looked at him.

“Because then there will be two of them keeping a secret.” Noah rolled his eyes and Cabe spluttered out a laugh.

“Maybe she could talk to him with us here?”

They looked at me and I shrugged. “He should be back here soon; we have our lesson together next.”

Right on cue, the doorhandle to the room began to turn. It caught, and I jumped up to unlock it.

“Seph?” Quillan glanced at me, and then caught sight of the others. “Why are none of you in class?”

“Maybe you should sit down?” I suggested, mostly so that I could stall until I figured out what I was supposed to ask him.

He moved to the desk and took up the position I had just vacated. I stood before him, blocking out Noah and Cabe so that he would focus on me. I started twisting the watch around my wrist and his eyes flicked to my nervous fidgeting before settling on my face.

“Sam was waiting for you yesterday,” I blurted.

Wow
.

That was tactful.

He didn’t look surprised, but he stiffened, his arms falling to the desk, his fingers curling over the edges as he braced himself. “And?”

A thousand different questions burned on my tongue as I stared at Quillan, but eventually I just let them all go.

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours,” I said, trying to keep a straight face.

The corner of his mouth quirked and he jerked his head, indicating for me to come closer. I moved to his side and whispered in his ear.

“I drew a picture of Noah kissing somebody.”

Quillan’s head turned sharply to the side, his eyes widening on mine in disbelief. I didn’t particularly want to discuss it further, so I turned my head and tapped my ear, indicating that he whisper to me in return. My legs were starting to strain, trying to stand on my toes so that I could reach him.

“Sam had a sister,” Quillan said quietly.

“I know,” I said. “They told me. Annie.”

“She died,” Quillan said, bending over so that I didn’t have to strain anymore.

“Are you guys seriously going to whisper the whole time?” Cabe spoke up from the couch.

“Yes,” Quillan shot over my head. “Since you’re insisting on meddling.”

I pulled at his shirt, trying to diffuse an argument. “What aren’t you telling us?”

He dipped his head to whisper again. “Sam found out that I was back and came to tell me that Weston was paying Annie, right up until she died.”

“Paying?” I said it a little too loudly.

“What’s this about paying?” Cabe asked. “Speak a little louder, you two.”

“Fine.” Quillan abruptly straightened. “You all want to know all about how our father payed my ex-girlfriend to pretend that she was in love with me for five years, just so that I wouldn’t go looking for my
Atmá?”

Cabe’s jaw fell open and Noah surged up from the couch, taking a step toward Quillan, who held out his hand in a stopping motion. “No,” he said. “I didn’t imagine you’d want to know, after all.”

“Of course we want to know!” Cabe jumped up beside Noah. “We’re your family, you idiot! And you know Annie never pretended shit. She
was
in love with you. Maybe she accepted money off Weston, but she was crazy about you.”

Quillan fell back against his desk, gripping the edges again. He didn’t look particularly torn up, but Noah was right when he said that Quillan and I shared some qualities; we both hid our troubles and tried to fight our battles alone. I reached out and placed my hand over his on the desk.

“We don’t need to talk about it anymore. You’ll tell us, if you need our help?” I asked.

He seemed surprised, and Noah and Cabe started to object, but I held out a hand to them, just as Quillan had. I stared at the hand and started laughing. Noah caught on first, his mouth hooking into an exasperated smile.

“See?” he asked, shaking his head. “That’s where she learns it.”

“You could learn a few things from us.” Quillan drew our attention back to him.

“Like how to bury issues that could do some serious damage to our
situation
?” Noah quipped, the smile disappearing.

Quillan’s dark eyes slid to me, settling on my face with a familiar weight. What Noah had said was a little too close to the truth. If my latest forecasting came true, I had no doubt that our
situation
would be effected. But I couldn’t simply tell Noah that I had drawn it, or he would disregard it completely. I needed to make sure it didn’t happen on my own, and I knew how I was going to manage it. I had it under control.

“Have a little faith,” I said lightly. “That’s something I’ve needed to learn this year, since meeting you guys. There was so much that you couldn’t tell me, so much that you
still
don’t tell me… but you can’t, right? I’ve met Weston, I get it now. The more information in my head, the more danger I’m in from him. If he ever made his way into my head, I’d be pretty glad if there was nothing there to find. Have a little faith that Miro can handle this, and that he’ll come to you if he needs to. Have a little faith that I’ll do the same.”