Waiting and Watching (28 page)

Lily helped her mother off the sofa. She practically collapsed on her daughter and could barely move on her own when she stood up. The doctor said, “I'm sorry I can't help you any further. You need to get your mother home. I suggest you contact a relative and work out some kind of plan. Call me if she decides to commit herself or you want me to work on the court order. Now, you've got to leave as I've got another patient waiting for me.”

Lily practically carried her mother to the bus stop. She wouldn't stop crying. The bus driver looked at them nervously and Lily was afraid he wouldn't let them get on the bus. The ride home seemed to take forever and it appeared to Lily that everyone on the bus was staring at them.

Lily did get her mother home and into bed. By then the crying had stopped, but she kept moaning repeatedly, “How could he do this to us?”

Lily held her mother tightly until she finally went to sleep.

Lily went into the living room, pulled open her sofa bed and fell into a deep sleep. She woke up around five in the morning and went in to check on her mother. The moment she saw her, Lily knew her mother was dead. Beside her was a long note that began, “I love you. I'm sorry.”

Lily rushed to the phone and called for an ambulance. The Life Squad arrived within ten minutes. Lily watched the medics gently but quickly place her mother on a stretcher and begin the resuscitation process as they loaded her into the ambulance. She could tell from the somber looks of the rescue squad that her initial analysis was correct. When one of the medics turned to ask if she wanted to ride to the hospital with them, Lily was gone. He closed the door and the ambulance took off, with no siren blaring.

Lily grabbed her purse and hailed the cross-town bus, which was filling up with men and women on their way to work. Everyone seemed to be half asleep and no one paid any attention to the young teenage girl hunched down in the back of the bus. Lily got off the bus and walked the rest of the distance to the house of her mother's psychiatrist, the man whom she assumed was her biological father. With anger raging inside of her, she rang the doorbell.

The Harrimans weren't expecting company this early so it took a few minutes before Claire opened the door. Lily explained her mother was a patient of Dr. Harriman's and she needed to see him right away. Claire invited Lily in and took her to John's study. Lily sat stiffly on the edge of an overstuffed leather chair. She didn't have to wait long before Dr. Harriman appeared. Fighting back tears she told him her mother had died that morning of an overdose of drugs prescribed by him.

“I am coming to you for help because I have no one else. My mother's suicide note said that you are my biological father. Her last wish was that you would come forward and help me.”

Harriman's face turned red with rage. “That's a blatant lie. I am not your father and remember, I told you there was nothing else I could do for your mother. She fantasized the entire relationship. She was a depressed, delusional pill popper, and I suspected she also abused alcohol.”

Lily didn't flinch. She looked directly into Harriman's eyes and said, “That's right, and it was all because of you. You told my mother you loved her and promised to marry her. You said we would be a family. We would live in a beautiful house, just like this one, and that neither she nor I would ever be poor again. She believed you. But you obviously had no intention of fulfilling your promises. You never planned to be with us.” Lily began to lose her composure. She stood up and screamed, “I'm your daughter and that means nothing to you, does it?”

“Keep it down,” he said as he pulled the drapes shut in his study. “My wife is in the kitchen.”

“I think she needs to hear this and I'll scream it all over Tilden Park if you don't help me. My mother let you get away with promises, but I won't be so easy to control.”

“You have no proof of what you're saying. Your mother has been filling your imagination with drug induced fantasies. In psychiatric terms, it's called Transference. She lived in her own pill-popping, delusional universe.”

“And who gave her all those drugs? You were awfully free with those prescriptions, Dr. Harriman.” Lily then pulled out of her backpack the note her mother had written, and the cherished photo of Dr. Harriman, her mother, and Lily as a baby.

Dr. Harriman began trembling with anger. He opened his desk drawer, pulled out a 38 caliber pistol and pointed it at her. In a loud whisper he said, “Get out.”

Those two words made young Lily snap. She grabbed for the gun and it went off. Harriman fell to the floor. Claire heard the shot and came running into the study. There she found Lily standing over the doctor with the gun in her hand. For an instant, the two just looked at each other. Then Lily panicked. She raised her arm, aimed for the woman's head and pulled the trigger.

Claire slumped to the ground, and a thick, dark red goo seeped from her head. To Lily's amazement, it reminded her of the finger paints she used to beg her mother to let her use as a child. Lily heard a low moan and realized it was coming from the doctor. He wasn't dead yet. A yellow throw pillow from his chair caught her eye. She picked it up, carefully placed it over his heart and shot directly through it. The pillow muffled the sound and the doctor moved no more.

Lily calmly put the gun in her purse, along with the photo and the note from her mother. There was blood splattered everywhere; her clothes were soaked with it. As though in a trance, she stripped naked and folded her clothes and shoes neatly into a bright red woolen throw she found lying on the sofa. Lily walked slowly upstairs with the bloody bundle of clothes under her arm and her purse slung over her shoulder. She located Connie's room and began sifting through the bureau drawers and closet. She selected an outfit she had once admired on Connie and began putting it on when she heard the back door open, followed by heavy footsteps.

Startled, Lily quickly finished dressing. She pulled the gun out of her purse, ready and willing to kill someone else if necessary. She waited patiently until she heard someone running out the backdoor. Leaving, she sees Connie's cheerleading duffle bag. She dumped the contents of the bag on the floor and filled it with the bloody clothes and blanket. Her next thought was the pillow she had used to muffle the gunshot to Dr. Harriman's heart. Concerned that it might implicate her some way, she went to retrieve the pillow in the study, and it was gone!

It quickly occurred to her that if she didn't want to attract attention, she needed to act as normal as possible.

As she casually walked to the bus stop, she thought about what had just happened. How the first gunshot was an accident, the second fired in a moment of panic and the third deliberate.

She'd relished putting that bullet in her father's heart.

Monday—January 12, 1987

After numerous phone calls between Andrew and Connie, she agreed to see Andrew. He was flying to Miami so they could talk in person. They had both acknowledged their relationship suffered from lack of communication and misunderstandings.

Connie and Julio picked Andrew up at the airport. He had insisted on accompanying her to the airport and she hadn't argued. Once again, Julio provided the support Connie needed to face a difficult situation.

As Andrew climbed into the back seat, looking frustrated, he asked Connie what was going on. “I go to your Aunt Viv's and she tells me you flew back to New York for a job interview. I called all night and there was no answer. We've been worried sick. Now, I find you in Miami. What the hell is going on, Connie?”

“Andrew, I'm sorry you were worried. We need to talk. Julio is going to drop us off at your hotel and we can talk there.”

When they reached the hotel, Julio gently squeezed Connie's hand and whispered. “Be strong, but fair. I'll only be a phone call away, if you need me.”

Neither said a word as they got out of the car, entered the hotel and rode the elevator up to Andrew's room. When they reached his hotel room, Connie broke the silence.

“Andrew, you need to understand something. I won't tolerate secrecy in our relationship and I do not like unwelcome surprises. There has been too much of both in my life. Please don't say it's to protect me. I'm an adult and your wife and you need to be open and honest with me. Your intentions may be good, but I believe a strong and loving relationship is based on being straightforward. I know I should have had this conversation with you in New York, but you were always so busy. I didn't want to risk ruining what time we did have together. I was wrong and I blame myself for not being open and truthful with you.”

“Connie, you mean the world to me. I thought when you left New York you understood and weren't mad. Our last night together was perfect. The day after you flew to Salt Lake I realized how much I missed you and thought it would be a welcome surprise if I turned up in Utah. When I told the office I was taking more time off to be with my wife, my boss wasn't too happy about it. I may not have a job when I return, but I don't care. You're more important to me than anything, Connie.

“The next day I flew to Salt Lake and drove to your Aunt's house. When no one was home, I thought I'd try my luck in finding you. I figured that was better than just sitting around waiting. I knew you had a season pass at The Canyons, so I went to the ski slopes looking for you. Bonehead that I am, I thought I'd drive up there and find you. I even arranged with an old buddy of mine who has a place there, to use his condo for a few days. It was to be the honeymoon we didn't have time to take. I know I should've called you first.”

“When I didn't find you there, I drove back to your Aunt's and that's when she said you had gone back to New York. I called the apartment all night long. Finally, when I spoke to our doorman and he said you hadn't returned, I thought I'd lose my mind with worry.”

“Andrew, I am so sorry I lied to you and Aunt Viv and put you both through all that unnecessary worry. I accused you of being secretive and here I did the same thing. I should have told you the reason I left for Utah. Perhaps then, I could have avoided this whole messy misunderstanding.”

“Connie, I agree with you, but our relationship needs both truthfulness and trust. I haven't been forthright about my job, but there's a reason for that. I did get a law degree and joined a practice in New York. But shortly after that, the CIA recruited me. I can never discuss the details of my job with you and I was afraid if I had been honest, you may not have married me. I was afraid to take that chance and that was selfish of me. Right now I'm based in New York with somewhat regular hours. However, I don't know what my future at the agency will bring. I hope you can forgive me and accept me for what I am and the job I do.”

Connie looked ashen. “When did you plan to tell me this, Andrew?”

“I was hoping our relationship would be stable and loving by the time I got another overseas assignment. There was always the chance I'd be kept in the U.S. and maybe you would never need to know about my work. I've worked several undercover assignments here and overseas, and I love the work, but because of our marriage, I've put in for a desk job. It might be awhile before I get it, though.”

“Andrew, you can withdraw that request if you want. The danger in undercover work terrifies me. But I love you and somehow we'll work this out together. It probably won't be easy, but I'm willing to try. I'm not fragile; in fact, with you I can be as strong as I need to be—for both of us.”

Andrew kissed her, and leaning his forehead against hers, said, “I was a fool to have lied to you, and I swear I will earn your trust back.”

They kissed passionately until Connie pulled away and said, “We need to get going if we're going to meet Julio for dinner. I'll fill you in on Lily on the cab ride over. We'll have plenty of time together when we get back to the hotel.”

With that, they grabbed a taxi and returned to Julio's apartment. When they walked in— Julio had given Connie her own key—they overheard Julio talking with Sylvia on the phone. When he hung up; he told them he was going to call Earl Lookey and invite him to Florida. Sylvia will entertain him, but Earl and Sniff can stay here in my spare bedroom. He's had a tough time accepting what Lily has done. Sylvia and I think it would do him good to come here for a visit.”

“I think that's a great idea, Julio. Call him right now so we can say hi,” Connie said.

Julio dialed the number and eventually Earl picked up, sounding weak and defeated.

“Earl, we're all here in Miami. We think you should get a ticket and fly down with Sniff. We know what you're going through because we're feeling the same way.”

“Yeah, it's too bad things worked out like that. I've been doing a lot of thinking about everything that happened, and there's one thing I still don't understand. Why did Lily shoot Sammy?”

“We don't know yet, but we think Sammy was threatening to go to the police and spill the beans on her,” Julio surmised. “I'm sorry, Earl. We know how much you cared about Lily. We all cared about her. Hopefully, the justice system will be kind to her. So what do you say? Are you going to fly down? You can stay with me and bring Sniff. Sylvia's building doesn't allow pets, but Sniff will be fine here. Sylvia has a million things planned for you. How are you at cosmic bowling and Karaoke?”

“Well, I'm a shitty bowler and I don't eat Japanese food.”

“Karaoke isn't food, Earl. It's singing to music.”

“Oh, well, I'm not much good at that, either, but I think it would do Sniff and me good to take a little trip. Just tell Sylvia I'm not going to that fruit bar with her. Shit, Julio. I appreciate the invitation. I've done nothing but stare at the walls in disbelief over this whole thing. I haven't felt this way since Sue died.”