Waiting and Watching (22 page)

“What?” She couldn't believe her ears. “I thought you wanted to get to know me better.”

“I do, but there's plenty of time for that later,” he said as he started to unbutton her sweater.

Lily gently pushed his hand away. Hank didn't seem to like that as he started pulling on the buttons. He managed to pull some off and get to her blouse. He pulled her blouse up and grabbed her breasts. Within seconds he had her on the ground near the bushes, tugging on the zipper of her slacks. He managed to get the zipper and then her slacks down. He ripped her panties and then got on top of her. He started thrusting and made several grunting noises. Lily could feel herself being ripped inside. He then rolled off of her with a moan. At that point, she could feel the warmth of tears rolling down her face and blood trickling from her body. Hank started laughing. Lily lay there, unable to move or utter a word.

Hank got up and zipped up his pants. As he stood over her, he said, “I thought girls from your part of town gave it up earlier.” He picked up his bottle of Sloe Gin and walked away. Lily continued to lie there for a while, trying to process what had just happened to her. She eventually stood up and put herself together as much as possible and walked home.

As Lily came in the front door, her mother yelled from the bedroom. “Come tell me about your date. I want to hear everything.”

Lily panicked and yelled back that she needed to go to the bathroom first and then she would be in. She ran into the bathroom and washed her tear-stained face and dried blood between her legs. She put her soiled and ripped clothes in a pile and put on a robe hanging on the back of then door. She quickly walked into the kitchen and found a plastic bag. She put her clothes in a bag and stuffed the bag in a drawer.

Lily composed herself and walked into the bedroom where her mother was.

“Did Hank think you looked as pretty as I think you look?'

“I guess so,” she said.

“Did you have fun?”

“Yes, we did.”

“What did you do?” her mother asked.

“We went to a movie and then he walked me home,” Lily said bravely.

“Do you want to see him again?” she asked.

“I'm not sure he's my type, Mom, but we'll see.”

The next day, Lily passed Hank in the hallway and he didn't acknowledge her. One of his friends said something and they all started laughing. Lily felt the knife-like sting of rejection all over again. Later, when she thought about it, she came to the conclusion that if Hank said hello and wanted to see her again, she would see him again just to be a part of that world.

Lily tried to be invisible after that. Several days later, Sammy wanted to go to the usual Friday night football game. Lily didn't want to go, but Sammy convinced her to come with him because there was nothing else better to do.

Friday evening Lily met Sammy at seven under the bleachers where they liked to watch the game. Sammy had a large brown paper bag with him. From the bag he pulled out a six-pack of beer and a carton of cigarettes.

“Hey, Lily, want a hit?”

“No, and you shouldn't be smoking. Don't you know what those cigarettes will do to your lungs?”

“Yeah. I know and I don't care.” With that, Sammy lit up a cigarette and popped the top off a bottle of beer. He smoked and drank while Lily watched the spectacle of a high school football game with envy while she hid beneath the bleachers. The players, the cheerleaders, every one of them were the children of the wealthy and privileged.

“Now I know why you watch the field so intently,” Sammy said. “You've got the hots for that guy Hank.”

“Believe me, I'm not looking at him or any of the football players. I'm watching the cheerleaders and pretending I'm one of them.”

“I don't believe you. Besides, there's nothing wrong with liking sex.”

“What makes you think I like sex?” she asked.

“I think you know,” Sammy replied with a smile.

“No, I don't.” Lily said defensively. “Why would you say that?”

“Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but I overheard Hank telling his friends you loved it and couldn't get enough.”

“Oh, God, Sammy. Tell me you're kidding.”

“I'm not and there's nothing wrong with loving sex. I love it too; it's just with society's version of the wrong gender for me,” Sammy said, laughing.

By the start of the second half of the game, Sammy was high. He had consumed his stash of beer and was ready to do something else. The leather strap of a woman's purse dangled down from one of the upper bleacher seats. It gave him an idea. When the crowd stood up to cheer, he reached up, grabbed the purse by its strap and pulled it down. He removed the cash from the wallet and threw the purse to Lily, who put it back where it was. That evening they worked both sides of the bleachers. By the end of the game, each went home with over a hundred dollars in cash. It was the start of a new facet of their relationship.

Friday - December 11. 1964

Lily walked home alone after school. Her friend, Sammy, decided to take the bus and for that she was thankful. All he did lately was complain about his mother and it was wearing on her.

Lily took her favorite route home through the tree-lined streets with large brick and stone homes before she headed down to the bottom of Hospital Hill. Christmas was in the air and in the windows of the lovely homes in Tilden Park. Christmas trees full of ornaments and lights decorated the huge bay windows. She imagined hand-knit Christmas stockings hanging from fireplace mantels and colorfully wrapped gifts tied with red ribbon under the trees.

She and her mother had lived in a modest apartment on Rainbow Road her whole life. While her mother was alive, Lily had been relatively happy. After the unexpected death of her mother. Lily's degenerate Uncle Gus moved in to become her guardian and roommate. Living with him was worse than she could have imagined.

Lily headed down the steep hill towards the entrance of her building. The wail of an ambulance approaching got louder as she crossed the street from the hospital to her apartment. She dreaded turning the key, wondering what Uncle Gus was up to today. As Lily walked in, the air was thick with cigarette smoke. No holiday decorations here to indicate the impending Christmas holiday, just dirty dishes in the sink and drunken laughter coming from the bedroom. On her bed, which doubled as the couch, someone had dumped dirty laundry. The laundry, she knew, was put there for her to wash and organize. Oh, my God. On her pillow lay a pair of Uncle Gus' underwear. Lily gagged with disgust when she saw them.

If only the social workers would leave her alone, she would get rid of her uncle. Her social security check would cover the rent and the extra income she earned scamming with Sammy would be enough for food and clothes. She didn't need a guardian, especially one like Uncle Gus.

However, for now, she had no choice but to endure his lecherous ways. He worked on and off and she cherished the days he was gone. His girlfriend, Alice, was worse. She'd be hyped up on drugs and liquor, and say ugly, abusive things to Lily and treat her like her servant. Thankfully, she didn't live with them…yet.

Alice came out of the bedroom and Lily could hear Gus turn on the shower. He was singing and she knew that meant he was drinking.

“Oh, you're home from school already? Where does the day go?” Alice asked, lighting a cigarette.

“I asked you not to smoke in here; it makes everything stink.”

“Well, aren't you Miss High and Mighty? Maybe you should clean this place more often. Gus and I are going out tonight. That should give you time to de smoke this dump and catch up on the laundry,” she added with a disgusted look towards the couch.

“Yeah, yeah…if I get to it, and that's a big if,” Lily answered.

“Don't you sass me; didn't Gus teach you to mind?”

Lily headed to the small kitchen to get away from Alice. On the counter was an empty bottle of Crown Royal. This made her panic, as it had been full only yesterday. Drinking emboldened Gus and encouraged his nasty streak. Her best bet had been to not infuriate either of them, but sometimes she just couldn't hold in her anger. She knew Alice couldn't wait to tell Gus about Lily giving her lip.

Finishing up the dirty dishes, Lily could hear Gus approach. She turned around to find she was only inches away from Gus' foul, liquor breath. Oh, God, please, she thought.

“Alice said you were disrespectful. Maybe you need a reminder to behave.”

Lily's heart pounded. She was unsure what to expect. Gus' hands came up and grasped her breasts. He started laughing and then gave her a hard shove. She fell back onto a chair, then hit the floor.

“Don't let it happen again.” He turned and told Alice, “Let's get out of here.”

Alice grabbed her purse and they were out the door. Lily was relieved they were gone, but she continued to lie on the floor. She couldn't get up. Her life was miserable. Gus was no guardian; he was a filthy drunk who fondled her at every opportunity, but at least fondling was all he'd done…so far. She feared what could happen to him if Alice left his life. It could be worse than what had happened with Hank, far worse.

Even her beautiful daydreams weren't enough these days to give her hope. The only thing that kept her going was the thought of turning eighteen and throwing the bastard and his bitch out of her life forever.

With that pleasant thought, Lily grabbed the laundry, a handful of quarters and headed downstairs to the washing dungeon. It was damp and dark, but quiet and oddly comforting. While separating the colors, Lily spotted something brown in the corner by the folding table. She suspected a mouse but found a man's wallet. She scooped it up, removed the cash and quickly tossed it back in the corner. She never looked to see who might own the wallet. She just shoved the money into her bra and continued with the laundry.

As she headed back up to her apartment, she passed her neighbor, Mr. Nelson. “Hi, Mr. Nelson. How are you?”

“Retracing my steps. I've misplaced my wallet.”

“Gosh, do you know where you lost it?”

“No, if I did I would go find it,” he snapped.

“Did you have anything valuable in it?”

“Quite a bit of cash,” he said huffing, “and it's special. My wife bought it at Pogue's for our last anniversary.”

“Well, I hope you find it. I'll be back in twenty minutes if you need help. Good luck.”

Once Lily closed her apartment door, she started counting the money. She had two twenties, three tens, one five and two ones—seventy-seven dollars in all. That was more money than she'd seen in a long while. She'd buy herself a treat with the two ones, but the rest she stashed away. One day she'd be free of Uncle Gus and would need a nest egg.

Saturday—December 20, 1986

Connie, Julio and Andrew arrived five days before Christmas to prepare for the upcoming Christmas/wedding weekend. Connie wanted to review her plans with the boys. Aunt Viv and Andrew's mother were arriving on the twenty-third, so to spend time with them, all arrangements needed to be in place. Sylvia, who wasn't going to her daughter's house for the holidays, was coming to the wedding. Julio was to pick her up at the airport on the morning of the twenty-fourth. Connie knew Sylvia had been an immense help to Julio in the investigation of Beth Vreeland and she sensed Sylvia also filled the maternal void in Julio's life.

The only locals invited were Earl, Lily and Connie's two girlfriends, Paulette and Jody. Episcopal Priest Father Fowler would be presiding over the ceremony, but since it was Christmas day, he and his wife wouldn't be able to make the wedding dinner.

Connie had everything under control. She hadn't started her job search in New York yet, so she had concentrated all her free time on planning the small wedding in Cincinnati. It was an easy task for a career event planner. She spent days in New York searching for the perfect gown and knew which one it was the minute she put it on. A frothy white wedding cake with silver bells was ordered from Agglemicis Bakery on the square in Tilden Park and paired with various flavors of the local, hand-packed Graeter's Ice Cream.

Phone calls were made back and forth to the chef at the inn to perfect the wedding menu. They had finally settled on Caesar salad, lobster bisque, beef and salmon Wellington with Chantilly potatoes and asparagus. The ceremony was scheduled for four-thirty, after Father Fowler had completed all his Christmas duties. The flowers, in Christmas red, were paired with lots of holly and were to be delivered to the church in time for the Christmas Eve service. They were her gift to Father Fowler and the congregation for their allowing her to use their beautiful church on this most sacred day.

The Christmas Eve dinner was going to be in Lebanon, Ohio, at the Golden Lamb Restaurant, an old farmhouse with lots of history and ambiance. Lily had arranged for a large stretch limo to drive everyone.

Connie was looking forward to being surrounded by all her favorite people and to finally meeting Sylvia. There was a time when she thought she'd never have another happy moment in Cincinnati. Today she was genuinely content and it felt good to be near where her parents were buried. Bittersweet, yes, but it felt right.

The wine was working its magic. Julio had them in hysterics with his stories about Sylvia, Otto, and Patrick. Laughing aloud felt so good. Connie was relaxed and happy to be with the two most important men in her life. As they sat in front of the fireplace laughing and talking, Connie realized she was not only putting her life back on track, but she was also pulling together a family. It was not the family from the dreams of that once happy high school girl. It was a new and different family, and it felt wonderful and right.