Vision of Love (4 page)

“Thanks,” he squeezes my hand and my face turns bright red.
Oh damn
. We sit in silence for a few minutes. It’s not uncomfortable, but when I look at Nicholas it seems as though he’s in his own world. There’s something on his mind, but he’s not saying anything. This mysterious and sexy man keeps pulling me in even though I’m trying to back away.

“You okay?” He nods. “It’s getting late and I have so much to do tomorrow. I’m gonna head to bed. You should too.”

“Yeah I will soon,” he smiles. “It was fun getting to know you.”

I slowly get up still holding his hand. He’s not letting go and neither am I. Should I break our contact? “Yeah it was fun even though I think you cheated,” I wink letting his hand go. Something drops in my stomach and I feel something I haven’t felt in a while. This isn’t good. “Night.”

“Sweet dreams Karly.”

I turn around and head to my room. When I get in bed I feel a piece of paper under my pillow. It’s from Neil.

Don’t be afraid to fall in love. Be stupid. Be crazy. Live your life to the fullest. This is only the beginning Karly Lynn Erikson. Stop holding back and let go of your fears. You only live once so make the most of it. Even if I’m thousands of miles away I’m still right next to you.

I smile while reading his note to me. Neil always has the best things to say. The tears
fill my eyes, thinking about him and hoping he finds the answers he needs. “Thanks Neil,” I whisper before closing my eyes and falling into a deep sleep.

Talking openly about Jamie with Karly brings back the shitty times.

Jamie and I had that spark when we first met. I thought she was the one. We talked about our future and what we wanted. After high school, Jamie and I moved to New York City and attended Columbia. We were both majoring in business-me with accounting and she with management. Things were great and we fell in love with the city. I asked her to marry me the night before our graduation in Times Square. It was a memorable night and I thought we’d be together until the end.

The day we graduated I got a phone call about my application with Stanley & Walker offering me the job of a lifetime. I immediately took it without talking to Jamie-mistake number one. She was happy for me but the look of disappointment of moving back to North Carolina was all over her face.

When we got back to North Carolina, I started at the accounting firm and she worked at her sister’s spa. Things were great. We got married the following year and she found out she was pregnant with Emma a few months after. However, something was off. I should’ve seen it. Jamie wasn’t happy and I tried to do everything I could to get that smile back on her face. Nothing worked. The distance between us was evident. Maybe I was too blind at the time to notice.

Emma was born on July 23, 2006 at nine fifty five in the morning. She weighed six pounds and six ounces. It was the best birthday present I have received and I was thankful for Emma. A few days later we were back home and that’s when Jamie decided she didn’t want this life, and left us. After almost a year of silence, I took an indefinite leave from the firm and chased after Jamie.

Leaning against the couch I will myse
lf to stop thinking about her. There’s nothing I could’ve done to make it work. Relationships and marriages shouldn’t be about work; it should be about love and making each other happy. Damn I sound like a fucking woman.

Blue
green eyes flood my mind
.
What the hell is wrong with me? My second night back home and I’m already opening up to this girl and thinking about her. Shaking my head I walk out of the living room and head towards my room. Meeting Karly and getting to know her isn’t part of my plan, but I guess life has something else lined up for me and I’m just not sure if I’m ready for that. Yet a part of me is ready for something new. I’m drawn to her. She makes me smile and laugh. She’s pure. Innocent. She’s someone that shouldn’t be tainted by my fuckedupness. I have too much baggage and this girl doesn’t deserve pain. She’s the type that wants forever with love and a happily ever after. I’m not sure what that means since I’ve never had a happily ever after except with Emma. Although when she looked at me, really looked at me, I liked that feeling. I liked it when she smiled at me. It’s like she’s seeing the real me without the bullshit I put on. Regardless, I need to stay away.

*
* * * *

Alexis’ plane lands at two thirty in the afternoon. Emma’s holding a ‘welcome back home’ sign for her Aunt Alexis.

We spent the morning making breakfast and running errands. Karly wasn’t up yet. I wanted to knock on her door and have her eat breakfast with us, but I stayed away.

“Aunt Alexis!” Emma squeals jumping up and down. Alexis comes running over to her, bringing her in her arms and twirling her around.

“Welcome home sis.” I place my arm around her shoulder and pull her in. The bond I have with Alexis is strong. She’s been there for me through the highs and lows. I can honestly say she’s my best friend.

“Thanks Nicky.”

“Nicholas,” I mutter. She knows that damn nickname is annoying and I hate it, but she insists on doing it to spite me. I take her carry on and we head to baggage claim. “So I met Karly.”

“I know.”

That’s all she says while we’re heading to the garage. I wait for more, but she’s talking to Emma in a hushed voice.
Alright she’s being weird.
I shake it off and grab her luggage. Alexis doesn’t look at me, her focus is on Emma. When we get in the car they both look at me with a smile on their face.

“Okay so what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” they both answer at the same time. “Mom and dad want us to come over tonight for dinner.” Alexis states texting on her phone. “I’m inviting Karly too. You should bring Larry. They haven’t seen him in a while.”

“Sure. Sounds fun.”

We get back to the apartment and relax. My mind is going in every direction watching Alexis, Karly and Emma in the kitchen making cookies. Emma’s laughs fill the room. I need to get away and do something.

Me: Gym?

Larry: Already here…See you soon

“Alright girls I’ll be back later. Gonna go work out with Larry.”

“Have fun daddy!”

When I get to the gym I hop on the treadmill, put in my ear buds, blast some Usher and start running. ‘Spotlight’ plays and the words hit me. Thoughts of Karly come to mind. She’s a roommate. Someone I just met. There’s no feelings or anything romantic between us. I nee
d a distraction, preferably a brunette with nice boobs and a body to die for. I notice the wondering eyes on me. These women are shameless. I’ve been eye fucked before and it boosts my ego. Shaking my head I focus on my running and breathing. As soon as I close my eyes, boom, she’s in my head.

Seriously what the fuck is wrong with me? I don’t have feelings for Karly. I don’t.

I finish my five-mile run, wiping the sweat from my face. Damn that feels good.

“You good Hayes? Damn that was hard,” Larry states out of breath.

“Yeah that was good. C’mon let’s go lift.”

Working out is my outlet to release my stress and frustration. When I’m at the gym or running through the park there’s a sense of clarity and I’m at peace. All the bullshit from my past stays with me, but I don’t let it take over. I have Emma to be strong for. She’s all that matters. I close my eyes and shudder from thoughts of the past.

It was just me caring for a new born baby. I was twenty-four years old, working for an elite accounting firm. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. She’d lie in her crib screaming and crying. I tried calming her down and carry her throughout the house, but she wouldn’t stop crying. I placed her back in her crib and ran out of the nursery. I found a bottle of Jack and started chugging. Her screams were getting louder and I felt my anger increasing. I drank nearly half the bottle. My vision was getting blurry and I was stumbling around my kitchen. Emma kept crying. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I threw the bottle across the kitchen. It slammed against the wall shattering in pieces. That didn’t drown out her crying so I opened the cabinets and destroyed my kitchen. I punched the walls and screamed out in frustration. The next thing I remembered was being in my bed. My hand was wrapped and there was a bottle of water on my nightstand. I wasn’t sure what happened. I got up from my bed and walked into Emma’s room. She wasn’t there. I screamed for her and ran down the stairs. I wasn’t expecting to find my parents in the living room holding Emma.

I felt ashamed. Being a single parent wasn’t going to be easy and I already failed. How could I raise her on my own? I broke down and cried. My dad came over and hugged me. He told me everything was going to be okay and never forget about family and the strength of an army. From that moment I dropped all the bullshit and vowed to be the best parent to Emma.

We finish our sets and head back to the apartment. “Coming over to dinner?”

“Damn I miss your mom’s cooking,” Larry responds. “So when were you gonna tell me about your hot new roommate?”

Jealousy surges through my body and I want to punch my best friend in the face. Of course she’s hot. She’s perfect, but I don’t want him looking or noticing her. I hated the words that came out of his mouth. “I didn’t think it mattered and how the hell do you know?”

“Alexis told me and when I couldn’t find her on Facebook I checked out Alexis’ page and saw pictures. Damn Hayes. She’s fucking hot. You and her?” He winks.

“No. She’s off limits.” I can’t touch her or be around her without fucking her up. That’s why Jamie left. Whoever I touch I destroy. It’s better this way.

“Whatever you say.”

We make it back to the apartment and take the stairs back up. Each step I take I’m closer to her. I shouldn’t feel dread but I know as soon as I see her I’ll want her. Maybe innocent flirting won’t hurt and it’ll ease the pain. Seeing that smile on her face and her embarrassment would be worth it. I’d do anything to see her smile and happy. On the contrary being in a relationship isn’t in it for me. I need to keep fighting my attraction towards her. Everyone will win if I do that.

“So before you go in just be on your best behavior. She’s not like those other girls.” I warn Larry.

His interest peeks. I know that look and he’s not going anywhere near her. I love my best friend but his record of breaking hearts isn’t a glamorous report. I’ve seen the destruction he leaves behind. “Really?”

“Shut up,” I laugh. “She’s innocent and…” my voice trails off.

“You like her,” he smirks.

“What? No. You’re fucking crazy. She’s a friend. We just met.”

Larry slaps my shoulder before we walk in, “Don’t worry Hayes. Let it ride,” he laughs walking in.

Emma flies into Larry’s arms and squeals with delight.

“Why hello there beautiful. Oh I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too Uncle Larry!”

“Hi Emma,” I smile at my beautiful four year old.

“Hi daddy,” she waves but turns back to Larry. I shake my head laughing, walking to my bedroom so I can shower. In my own world I don’t notice Karly coming out of the bathroom until her body hits mine.

“Ooof,” she lets out before falling on her ass.

“Oh shit,” I laugh helping her up. As soon as her hand touches mine an electric feeling flows through. Holy shit what the fuck is going on? I remain calm and keep it together. “I’m sorry are you okay?” My eyes trail down her slim body. The scent of vanilla hits my nose and it’s killing me. Damn she looks fucking sexy in just a towel. Her beautiful blonde hair trails past her shoulders. Her eyes look at me, and wow those eyes are beyond gorgeous. “Oh shit I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She squeezes my hand, “Thanks and I’m sorry for running into you.” She turns away and walks into her bedroom. Before closing the door she turns her head towards me and smiles.
Ah shit.

Running into my room I close the door and lean against the wall. “Fuck. Karly in a towel. Shit.” The image of her plays in my mind and I’m standing here wishing the towel would’ve fallen off when she fell. I need to get my mind off her. She’s my baby sister’s best friend and roommate. Well mine too for now. It’s a bad situation and I don’t need anyone feeling uncomfortable, but fuck I can’t get her off my mind. I need to stop thinking about her and keep busy. That’s it, just play it cool and look at her like a friend.

Grabbing my clothes I head to the bathroom. Jumping in the shower my rock hard cock screams at me for fucking relief.
Fuck.
Stroking it up and down I pump faster and find my release in seconds. “Ugh,” I moan closing my eyes imagining Karly on her knees taking me in and swallowing my release.
Shit not fucking helping.

Hurrying to finish my shower I get out, wrapping a towel around my body. It’s quiet when I leave the bathroom and head to my room. Before I close the door to get ready I see Karly on the ground with her face down and ass up. A groan leaves my lips and all I can think about is burying myself in between her fine ass, tasting her, feeling her.

“Oh,” she gets up looking at me. “Emma said she lost something under the bed and I was trying to get it.” Her eyes leave mine and trails down my body. She’s fucking checking me out. This girl is amazing and cute and she probably doesn’t realize it.

“See something
you like?” I smirk, walking closer to her, eyeing the way she’s breathing and staring at me.

“Huh?”

“It’s a six pack with a V. You know the thing that girls go crazy over. Can you think clearly?” I walk slowly towards her again, making sure I’m not overstepping any boundaries when clearly I am. This whole staying away from her isn’t working.

There have been countless women trying to get my attention, but no one has affected me like she does. She has a nice body; fit and curvy. Examining her from her head down, I love what I’m seeing. I’m an ass and boob guy and damn, she’s got it all.
Her expressive eyes look deep into me as if she’s trying to uncover all of my secrets.

I give my panty-
dropping smile and all I can think about is ripping off her clothes and throwing her on the bed. Imagining her on the bed, spread open and waiting for me.

“I wasn’t looking!” Her face turns pink, laughing nervously.

“Right.” I walk to the closet and act as if I’m taking off my towel. I turn my head over my shoulder and the look on her face is priceless. “Sweetheart if you wanna play all you have to do is ask.” I smirk.

“What? Play? No.” Quickly looking away, fiddling with her hands.

“You know I have ways of making you talk.” I walk closer to her making sure to keep my eyes focused on her. “Do you feel that?”

“Feel what?” She breathlessly answers.