Very Bad Things (26 page)

“Fuck,” he moaned and pumped himself harder until his
muscular forearms rippled from the exertion. I gazed intently, consumed by how
primitive it was, how arousing it was to watch him masturbate.

“Nora, you’re so good, so beautiful,” he whispered, his
hands sweeping up to rub the pre-cum over the head and over the rest of his
length. He jerked and stroked harder, his arms straining and his legs stiff,
his opal eyes never once letting go of mine.

My body clenched with need. I wanted him desperately. Like
I’d never wanted anything in my whole life. “Leo,” I said beseechingly, closing
my eyes. “
Love
me.”

He tossed his head back and hissed. “Say my name like that
again.”

“Leo, I want you to come for me,” I panted.

“If I come . . . this was be over . . . don’t wanna stop,”
he said, staring steadily at me. “Never want to stop looking at you. I want to
fuck you, dammit,” he cried out in frustration.

“Tell me . . . tell me how much you want me, Leo,” I
breathed out.

“I want to lay you down and slip deep inside you. I want to
find every secret part of you with my lips, my tongue, my hands. I want you to
ride me while I watch. I want to hear our skin slapping together. I want to
wake up next to you in the morning and do it all over again. Need you so much.
You’re
all
I want. I want you, want you, want you,” he chanted as he
picked up his pace, his hands working in time to his words.

I got on my knees in front of him, my body not my own. “Give
me your hand,” I whispered.

He stopped immediately, abandoning the attention to his
erection to place his hand in mine. Tears threatened as I placed them together
palm to palm. I gazed at him, my eyes begging him to see
me
, to see how
much I loved him, how I knew he was my one and only. Holding his stare, I
removed my hand and licked his, running my tongue over every finger, every
line, every crease on his open palm. Then I sucked each digit in my mouth,
letting my teeth nibble on the roots of them. My tongue worshipped him.

“Nora, baby, yes,” he growled, his other hand stroking my
hair back.

I gave them one last suck and kissed his palm reverently.
“Let me see you come, Leo.”

He grasped his length and went back to work, the wetness
making his strokes faster and hotter than ever. Uninhibited like this, he
looked delicious, the need to come evident on his face, his eyes wild with
desire. He moaned, his hips pumping back and forth with his hands.

He stiffened. “Nora!” he yelled out as he came, throwing his
head back, his blond hair falling into his eyes, his muscled body straining
forward and undulating in a beautiful symphony of ecstasy.

I wanted to weep.

I wanted him to love me.

Long moments passed and he recovered slowly, opening his
eyes and blinking up at me. “What was that?” he asked weakly.

I picked up my purse and stood up on wobbly legs. “That was
a lesson in clarity, Leo,” I said in a small voice. “I have a date tonight with
a guy I’ve fucked before, a guy I once had real feelings for. Think about what
just happened in here between us and how
non-epic
it was. Think about me
doing that with someone else. Think how good we could have been.”

I got halfway to the door and without turning around said,
“It’s not Finn I’m seeing tonight. Finn’s my half-brother, and he . . . raped
me when I was fourteen,” I said, choking on the words.

Me and my boots staggered out the door.

“I’ve
got nothing.”

–
Leo
Tate

LYING DECIMATED ON the couch, I
watched her walk out the door, shutting it carefully behind her. Once my brain
starting working again, and I pieced together the puzzle Nora had revealed,
fury exploded like a bomb in my head and obscenities blasted from my mouth. I
leaped off the couch, kicked over the chairs and lifted up the table where’d
I’d been working and threw it across the room. It slammed into the concrete
wall with a harsh clatter and fell to the floor, one of the legs dangling
crazily. Madness swept through me, and I lost control. Grunting, I wrenched the
leg off and beat it against the table, over and over and over until my hellish
rage slowly morphed into horrified grief for her. I stopped and stared
sightlessly down at the mangled wood. My Nora. She was so brave, so strong and
had lived in hell.

I’d known she’d had secrets, but I’d never imagined this. I
thought about when we’d first met, and how I’d misjudged her. How I’d thought
she was a spoiled rich girl. I couldn’t have been further from the truth.

I hung my head.

The sun had set, and the room had grown dark by the time
Sebastian came in from football and found me. I don’t know how much time had
passed. All of my thoughts centered on Nora; the rest of the world had become
nonexistent. I felt numb everywhere except my chest. It hurt so fucking bad,
and I knew it was aching for her.

Sebastian flipped the light on and looked around with wide
eyes. “What the hell happened in here?” he said, whistling at the scattered
chairs and wrecked table.

I sat there crouched on the floor, my head leaning back
against the wall. “Did you know?” I asked him quietly.

He stiffened for a moment and then eased down beside me on
the floor, a somber look on his face.

“Only because I eavesdropped on her and her dad,” he said.
“I don’t think she’d willingly tell anyone.”

I took a shuddering breath. “Tell me everything.”

He did, explaining how he’d been in the shop when her father
had come in and how he’d been worried about her so he’d listened to their
conversation. When he told me the details, I gripped the table leg that was
still in my hand and prayed for control.

When he’d finished, I didn’t say anything, because I had no
words.

I had no Nora.

“Truth
is beautiful.”

–
Nora
Blakely

LATELY, BECAUSE OF Tiffani’s
threats, I’d begun to ask myself what would be the absolute most terrible thing
that could happen if I told Leo my secret. The answer? He might be sickened by
my imperfection and never look me in the eye again. But, if he did, then he
wasn’t the person my heart thought he was. He was much, much less. Yet, because
he was my soulmate, I finally believed he’d never blame me or hate me for my
shame. So, yeah, telling him today had been a relief. Truth can be awful and
even excruciating, but once it’s released, it’s like a bird that’s been caged
too long who finally flies to freedom. I felt a little like that. Free.

Letting it all go, I focused on getting ready for my date.

I’d gone to my house earlier, and Dad had helped me load my
car with my sewing machine but not many clothes would fit. So I’d left the
designer dresses and shoes in favor of jeans and shirts I’d need for school. I
didn’t have much money for a date outfit, so Mila came by and dropped off a
pink bridesmaid’s dress she said I could have. She knew I needed the
distraction of sewing.

I got to work, chopping off the length and sleeves and
turning the sweetheart bodice into a camisole style with spaghetti straps. With
some of the fabric I’d cut off and some lace, I made a fun belt to tie around
my waist and a headband for my straightened hair. I slipped the dress on and
deliberated on my shoes, my eyes caressing the new boots but deciding on some
brown wedges I’d gotten on a recent trip to the mall. They weren’t Jimmy Choos,
but I’d paid for them with my own money.

And when I was dressed and looked at the girl in the mirror,
she seemed better than the day before.

THAT NIGHT DREW took me to a
waterfront Tex-Mex restaurant on Lake Ray Hubbard that had stunning views of
the water and sailboats. The restaurant was on the fifteenth floor of a
beautiful stone resort, and we sat by a big picture window to gaze out.

Over a meal of spicy fish and shrimp tacos, we talked and
renewed our friendship. It was apparent we had a lot in common.

“Are you going to UT next fall?” he asked me.

I finished my mouthful of food. “Probably. I thought I
wanted to go to Princeton and be a lawyer like everyone else in my family. But
now that I know I’m not going, it’s a relief to know I don’t have to live up to
everyone’s expectations.” I shrugged. “And UT has a great art and fashion
department.”

He grinned. “UT could be good if we’re there together. I’ll
be your academic nemesis for four more years.”

“Huh. You know you’ll be calling me every night to help you
with Cal.”

“One can only hope,” he murmured, giving me a heated glance.

I stared down at my food, thinking a little about Leo and
his song.

Drew cleared his throat. “You know, you’re not fooling me.
You’ve got something on your mind.”

I blushed. “What do you mean?”

He shook his head at me with a wry grin. “You’ve looked out
that window a lot tonight. And you’ve got that faraway look in your eyes you
get after you’ve read some of that sappy poetry in class.” He pointed his fork
at me and said, “I’ve been in almost every class with you since seventh grade.
I know you.”

I sat my fork down and studied him. His wavy brown hair was
a tad overlong, but I liked it. He’d worn snug jeans, a black dress shirt with
the sleeves rolled up and a pair of Converse on his big feet. My eyes lingered
over his lean but muscled chest. He was a handsome guy. Lots of girls at BA
wanted him. Could I fall for him if I tried? Did I want to?

“Let me ask you something,” I said.

“Shoot.”

“When I was in seventh grade, do you remember what I looked
like? Chubby with silver braces?” I asked.

“Yep, and you were pretty too, especially when you’d get
that little wrinkle right here, every time you took a test,” he said, running
his finger across my forehead.

He added, “And we all had a weird stage. Remember I was tall
and gangly with no muscle to speak of. Telephone pole with arms was what they
called me.”

“I was crazy about you for a long time,” I said wryly.

“I never knew,” he said sadly. “Until January, I’d never
dreamed you’d give me the time of day. You were kinda quiet and did your own
thing. Never came to parties or hung out. You just studied and did school
stuff. I’ve always liked you too, Nora. But, you . . . I don’t know . . . it’s
like you had this force field around you, and no one could get in to the real
you.”

I took a sip of soda, not sure what to say.

“We had something once in New York. Maybe it was because we
were both out of Highland Park, and you loosened up. You became this whole
other person there, and I think I fell for you a little that weekend. But I
messed up and got scared. I kept remembering how distant you could be and I . .
. I went back to Lori. Did I ruin what we had?” he asked, his face earnest.

I sighed. “They say timing is everything.”

“Is it Sebastian you’ve been thinking about tonight?”

“No,” I said in surprise.

He shook his head thoughtfully. “You know what, forget I
asked. It doesn’t matter who it is. All I want to know is can we try again?”

I blinked.

He continued, “We’ve liked each other a long time, and New
York was fucking amazing,” he said with a little groan, reaching over and
squeezing my hand. “We had something that night, and it was
more
than
sex. I burned for you, and you burned for me. But I fucked it up.”

“Yes.”

He exhaled heavily. “Will you give me another shot?”

“I don’t want to get my heart broken again, Drew. It’s been
stomped on a lot, and I can’t take much more. And don’t get me started on Lori.
She’s not here anymore, and I can’t help but think that’s the only reason you
want me now.”

He shook his head. “Even when I was with her, I watched you
and wanted you. This has nothing to do with her. It’s about us. About starting
all over again and giving us a chance. Let me make those shadows in your eyes
go away, Nora.”

I gazed into his eyes, and they were warm and soft. I
thought about our night together, how sweet it had been, how his body had
worshipped mine.

If I wanted a chance at being happy, why not see where
this might go?

“Do you think you can make me happy?” I teased, but I meant
it.

“Hell, yes. Just give me a chance.”

I smiled slowly. “You got it.”