Authors: Claire Farrell
Tags: #Romance, #Paranormal, #Teen & Young Adult, #Werewolves & Shifters, #Paranormal & Fantasy
She led us out of the gate and down the road, Cúchulain at my feet.
“I want to talk to you both about a couple of things. First, this curse. Just because you’re meant to be doesn’t mean you have to make silly decisions. There’s no hurry, so don’t go rushing headfirst into anything.” She stared at us until we both flushed deep red. It wasn’t a subject I was comfortable discussing with Nathan’s grandmother.
“Second of all, these people. I believe you, Perdita, and I think you’re probably right. I’m not saying they’re following you or even that they’re werewolves, but I have a bad feeling. It wouldn’t be the first time.” She stopped talking abruptly, as if changing her mind about what she was going to say.
“What is it?” Nathan asked, but I could feel the tension rise from him.
She stopped walking and faced us. “You know we keep to ourselves, Nathan. And Perdita, you have to understand, we don’t embrace the wolf. I love who I am, but I have to follow the path set by the alpha
—I don’t have a choice. It’s something that compels the wolf, and I am wolf too. We have rules, even if we deny ourselves the life that goes with it.”
“Okay,” I said, unsure where she was going with it.
She took a deep breath. “Just because I follow the set path doesn’t mean I agree with it. I want to know more about what we are, our heritage, other shifters. We might have figured this out by now. We’ve run away too many times. I don’t believe we’re going to find those people. Not if they’re werewolves. They know better than us how to hide their tracks. So I’m going to keep looking. Until I know for sure. I’m not going to let anything happen to any of you.”
Her eyes dilated like Nathan’s. “I’m with you,” he said.
She nodded, and a fleeting moment passed between them. She looked proud, but a part of me was sad that she seemed surprised by it.
“Go,” she said. “Have fun. Be young. But be careful, and let me know if anything happens. Speak to me first, always.” She hurried away, but I stopped her.
“Wait,” I said. “Can I ask you some questions?”
She nodded, surprised. I glanced at Nathan and took a deep breath.
“Why me? Why you even? I mean, why are we cursed too?”
She hesitated. “I wondered the same things except for me, there was nobody to ask. I don’t know, really, I don’t. I sometimes wonder if I had an ancestral werewolf, I believe that was more common in the old days. But we’ve never taken part in any kind of genetic testing, so we’ll never know for sure if it’s a trait that’s been passed down or if there’s something bigger going on.” She left us with that enigmatic thought. I rubbed my forehead. “I’ve never felt so confused in my life.” Nathan and I strolled toward my house, neither of us saying it but both knowing we needed a bit of space. I couldn’t help glancing around to see if anyone was there, but it was a nice day, no chill in the air and no feeling that unseen eyes were watching. Nathan held my hand and, for a while, I felt almost normal.
“Do you ever see your mother?” he asked, out of the blue.
“No.” I was so startled by the question, I forgot to avoid it.
“How come?”
“I don’t want to. She doesn’t want to. It all works out.” I tried not to grip his hand a little tighter.
“You really don’t?” His gaze was steady.
I let go of his hand and walked a little faster. “Look, I’m sorry about your mother. I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but I’m guessing she actually cared about you. Mine didn’t. She didn’t want to be a mother, still doesn’t. She probably never will.”
He slipped his arm around my waist. “You never mention her.”
“There’s nothing to say. I mean, I don’t even know her. She ran off when I was a baby. She didn’t even tell anyone she was planning to leave. She saw me a couple of times when I was younger. She sends me things, just to make her conscience a bit easier to take or something, I don’t know. I have a family, and she isn’t part of it.”
“Would you like to know her?” he said, his voice soft.
I bit my lip, unsure of how to answer. I always acted like I didn’t want her around, but sometimes I wondered what it would be like. “I don’t know. I think I’d feel like I was betraying my Dad or something. I mean, she did a really bad thing to him. If I was suddenly her best pal, it would be like I forgave her for what she did. Like it would make it okay? Does that make sense?”
“Totally. But, sometimes, you have to keep your feelings separate from your Dad’s. She might have messed things up, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep punishing her either.”
“Really? I don’t know. She’s still being a nuisance without even seeing her, so imagine how bad things could be if she was around. At least now I know how I feel. If I started seeing her, she might disappoint me.”
“How is she a nuisance now?”
“It’s complicated. Dad and Gran are odd with each other, mostly because of her. It’s like, they’re never totally comfortable together, and all of their rows stem from her in some way.” I shrugged. He didn’t speak, and I felt like the words were spilling out of me, so I carried on. “Gran wants me to be, like, the second edition of my mother, only better. The one who never leaves. Dad wants me to be the opposite of my mother. He and Gran argue about everything. Gran wants me to use the things my mother sends, Dad wants me to bin them. It’s gotten better lately, but still, every bad thing that happens seems to come from her.”
It was hard to admit how I really felt but, for the first time in my life, I was able to talk about her without choking up. Nathan was a good listener, and it just seemed right to tell him things. At least the curse made
some
things easier.
***
That week, Dad decided it was time for Gran and me to get to know Erin a little better. First he brought her over for dinner, and when that didn’t end in disaster, she started coming over in the evenings when he wasn’t at work—just to hang out.
Erin was okay. I barely knew her, so I wasn’t altogether comfortable in her company, but she seemed pleasant, and she looked at my Dad in a way that endeared her to me. Although it was strange that Dad had a girlfriend, I was happy as long she didn’t hurt him.
Gran was another story. She wasn’t openly rude, but I saw her face grow tighter and tighter each evening, like she was holding in what she really wanted to say. I hoped she kept on holding it in because I didn’t want to hear it.
Tammie waited impatiently for my tutoring session with Joey to be over. She sighed incessantly, distracting me, but I was already having trouble concentrating. Werewolves and gypsy curses took a lot of mulling over.
I slammed my book shut. “Any chance we can finish up early today?”
“How come?” Joey looked relieved.
“Nathan’s coming over soon. We’re going to tell Dad about me and him.”
“So it’s true then,” Tammie said, sounding harsh. “You’re really with him now.”
I nodded, tired of talking to her.
“Didn’t take you long to worm your way into that one. Don’t come crying to me when he breaks your heart.”
“Don’t worry, Tammie. You’re the last person I’ll ever run to for help.” I shook with anger, unable to understand where my friend had gone.
“It’s okay, Perdy,” Joey said, ignoring Tammie. “I know you like him, so he’s cool with me.”
I grinned at Joey, grateful I could rely on him. I was starting to think I under-estimated him a lot.
“What if
I
don’t want him around?” Tammie pouted.
“Tough for you then, isn’t it?” he said without missing a beat.
Tammie looked as though she was going to fall of her chair. I almost swelled with pride. Joey didn’t make a habit of getting involved when Tammie decided to be bitchy but, when he did, he really put her in her place. She wasn’t happy, but she kept quiet until they left. Yet again, I was left wondering why things had changed so much between us all.
Nathan called around soon after—I was even more nervous than I expected, but I had to bite the bullet if I wanted to spend more time with Nathan. I just hoped Dad would be reasonable.
“Dad, you remember Nathan, right?”
“I’m not senile, Perdy. Hi again, Nathan.” Dad beamed at Nathan.
I took a deep breath. “So. Nathan and I are sort of seeing it each other now. Kind of.”
“Like a couple,” Nathan clarified. I winced, unsure of how Dad would take that description. The smile fell from his face, but Erin was in the room. He couldn’t act like himself without coming across badly to his girlfriend, so he was forced to suck it up and deal with it. By the time Erin left, I hoped he would have calmed down.
“Oh. Right. Well. That’s nice,” he said, his speech stilted. But he leaned toward Nathan and whispered in his ear. “I know where you live.” Gran rolled her eyes. “Stephen! Don’t mind him, Nathan. Sit next to me.”
Nathan winked at me and let Gran lead him into the living room.
“This is new,” Dad said with a frown.
“Yup.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Well,” he said, glancing at Erin. “Be careful then.”
“Um, okay.” Awkward.
Erin draped her arm around my shoulder. “Let’s go rescue your
boyfriend
from Ruth.” She giggled at the look on Dad’s face, and I got the impression she was really rescuing me from Dad.
Gran spent at least an hour embarrassing me and making fun of Dad’s discomfort. Dad did better than I expected though, and I could only thank Erin for that.
“Anyone want a drink?” she asked, getting to her feet.
“Coffee, please,” Dad said, somehow managing to make the words sound affectionate. Erin turned to Gran and smiled expectantly. Gran stared at Erin with a strange expression on her face. She turned to me, ignoring Erin.
“Oh, Perdy, I almost forgot. Your mother rang earlier, looking for you.”
Dad’s head snapped toward Gran, his eyes narrowing. Erin froze on the spot, unsure of herself. I shrugged at Gran, once again feeling like I was being thrown into the middle of something.
“Don’t you think you should ring her back?” Gran persisted with the game she was playing.
“No, actually.”
“Maybe you could invite her to stay for a weekend or something.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “She didn’t want to be here when it was her home. It’s not hers anymore, so why would she want to be here now?” I stood, ignoring my Gran’s face. “Think I’ll help you with that coffee, Erin.”
Erin followed me into the kitchen. We didn’t speak, but she squeezed my hand briefly as she passed me by to switch on the kettle. Gran seemed intent on marking her territory in the house, but Erin took it in her stride. She didn’t give Gran any ammunition, and I found I was becoming fond of her.
Gran did accomplish something. The nice, calm atmosphere vanished completely. Later, I tried to ease Gran into the idea of Erin being a permanent fixture.
“Erin’s lovely,” I said. “I really like her, and Dad seems to be smitten. Think she’s gonna move in?” Gran looked so horrified, I knew I had made a mistake. “Of course not. This is your
mother’s
house.”
“No. It isn’t. You have to stop thinking that way,” I said, trying to be gentle. “It hasn’t been her house for a very long time.”
“Well, it’s my house then. Nobody’s moving in here.” She crossed her arms stubbornly, looking like a spoiled child.
“What if Dad moves out?” I felt exasperated by her.
“Don’t be silly. He’ll never leave you.” She went upstairs in a huff before I could tell her he could take me with him. I really hoped Gran wouldn’t make life difficult for Erin.
When Nathan had to go, I walked him outside.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “The almighty Byron decided there’s no werewolves here anymore, so there’s nothing to worry about. If anything happens, I mean, anything, then just call me. Okay?” I agreed, but I hoped I wouldn’t have to.
“I have a favour to ask too. I’m not going to school tomorrow, we’re all going hunting. We should be back by the time Amelia gets home but, just in case we aren’t, could you bring her here after school?”
“Of course. Hunting, eh? Is that what you were doing the time Amelia said you were in the cinema, and you said you were visiting old friends?” I laughed at his face.
“Get you, Nancy Drew. Yeah, probably. We haven’t exactly coordinated our lies.” He grinned and kissed me until I couldn’t remember what I was going to say next.
***
“I’m sooo glad to be outside again,” Amelia said, stretching her arms. “You’d think I had some kind of plague and not a cold, the way my family carried on.”
“At least you got a few days off school. I’m just going to run to my locker, see you in the lunchroom.” I threw my bag into my locker and headed back, but as I passed by an empty classroom, I saw Joey sitting alone, eating his lunch.
“Um, what are you doing in here?” I said.
He jumped about a foot in the air, his neck and face turning bright red. “I’m....” He spluttered to a stop. “Okay, I’m avoiding Tammie.” I took a seat. “Avoiding her? How come?”
He stared at his lunch. “This was a mistake, Perdy. She’s acting crazy. I don’t know what I was thinking getting involved. She was cool when we were friends, now she’s off her head.”
“Did she do something in particular?” I tried to feel bad for Tammie, but she had been acting crazy around me too.
“It’s just a constant stream of questions and texts and calls. She wants to know
everything
. And she seems to hate anyone else in the world being happy, I don’t get her. She just makes me tired, I feel like she’s draining me.”
“Wow, I’m sorry. I don’t really know what to say. Maybe it’ll all blow over in a few days.”
“I hope so. You go on, I’m going to get some studying done. That’s my excuse anyway.” He smiled weakly. I left him, feeling really helpless. Maybe Gran had been right about not getting involved after all.
At lunch, Tammie was predictably sour, but I ignored that as much as possible and acted like the last few weeks hadn’t happened.
After school, I tried to persuade Amelia to come to my house, but she refused.
“I know what he said.” She folded her arms stubbornly. “But King’s at home alone. You can come with me if you like, but I’m going home.” I gave up after a while; she was determined to go to her own house. Exasperated, I joined her and hoped the rest of her family had already returned. I was trying so hard not to think of Nathan eating defenceless animals—raw—that I didn’t have the energy to keep arguing with Amelia.