Veil of Scars (9 page)

Charlie jumped off the couch and gave me a huge hug. "You're so amazing," she said into my neck.

Chapter Eleven

No matter which way I turned I couldn't get away from it. There were bodies everywhere, and I was suffocating. This had been a bad idea. At every turn I got jabbed in the gut as people writhed to the music. I had lost Sam and Charlie some place in the crowd. I sucked my lip ring into my mouth and told myself to breathe.

A barely dressed blond came up and started to grind against me. I cringed into myself and stiffed. He took notice and put his hands on my hips trying to get me to dance with him. I froze, unsure of what to do. I should have let come by themselves. This so wasn't me, and now that we were here I was feeling like a charity case again.

"Hey, get off him." Charlie's high pitched voice cut through the music as a savior. I turned towards her and shoved my way through the sweaty mass of bodies to get close to her.

She stood off to the side near the modded bar. "You doing okay?" She rubbed her hands up and down my bare arms.

"I should have let you and Sam come alone." I reiterated what had been running through my head for the last half an hour.

"Let me get you a drink." She laced our fingers together giving me some comfort as she dragged me towards the bar. She pushed her hair behind her ears trying to get near, but none of the men would even make room for her. Standing up on her toes she tried to yell over the din without success.

My lips curled up at the tips watching her. I stepped forward and asked for two beers meeting the bartender's gaze as he passed. He nodded and dropped his gaze down my form. It was something I was never going to get used to, but it seemed to be happening more than usual now being with the pair of them. Over the past few days people had been looking at the three of us walking hand in hand, but why he was looking at just me I couldn't understand. When he handed over the drinks I dug in my pocket for my wallet, but Char held up a twenty in front of my face, which I gladly took.

"My knight in shining armor." She kissed my cheek as I handed over her beer. "I swear I'm invisible in here."

I turned to brush my lips over hers, which made her smile even more. We moved back off away from the people to a quiet corner.

"You're one of three girls in a gay bar. Are you really surprised?" I drank down half of my bottle in the first go, knowing the liquid would help me relax.

"I should be more noticeable then!"

I laughed at her, and she growled playfully. "Where is Sam?"

"I lost him to a group of half naked firemen." She nodded to the dance floor.

I laughed even more, and she rolled her eyes.

"He's really embracing the gay isn't he?"

She leaned into me and nodded. "You don't think he's only gay, do you?"

I looked down at her as I wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Char, I can't speak for him, but for me it may have started with me realizing I'm in love with him, but I've come to realize I'm just as in love with you if not more."

"What?" Her big eyes found mine as she laid her hand over mine on her shoulder. "I don't see how that's possible."

I leaned down to whisper in her ear. "We've talked about this. He's the light, and big and bright, but I've always been closer to you. Our love is different, but I wouldn't change it. Hell Char, you're my best friend. He has always been my savior, but you're my sanity." I slid my free hand under her chin and tilted her face up to mine. I pressed my forehead to hers and looked her in the eyes. "There is no me and him, without you."

She had a single tear in the corner of her eye. I wicked it away with my thumb.

"It's a new toy, nothing more. Let him be. I was really guilty, and worried, and fucked in my head so much over the last few weeks, but for the first time, I really feel good about us."

She touched her lips to mine and squeezed her eyes shut. "Thank you."

"I think we each have needed to have our own meltdowns. You're entitled to your own. God knows Sam outshined us both with his."

She smiled through her tears. "Isn't it his job to outshine us?"

"I'm okay with it. I think I'd have a panic attack if I was surrounded by giant firemen though."

"You may be the only one. I'd take the fireman, but he can keep the attention for the most part."

We watched him for a few minutes.

"He's an attention whore."

She nodded. "But it's part of his charm. We still love him."

As we spoke Sam detangled himself from the men and strolled over nice and sweaty with his shirt unbuttoned. Charlie raised a brow at him when he got close, and he kissed her nose.

"Oh look, you can get jealous." Sam wiggled his red brows and ran a hand down his sweaty abs.

She bit his finger. "Shut it."

"This is my new favorite place," he said, and I could tell he was just egging her on at this point.

She stuck out her lip, and Sam wrapped his arms around her, grabbing her by the ass to lift her up.

“There it is,” he said.

I leaned back against the wall watching them. It was easy to stay on the sidelines when they were like this. I had no desire to insert myself into the middle of them, even if I was now a part of this fucked up threesome.

I stayed off to the side, gaining a seat at the bar as it died down with the crowd drunker and sticking to the dance floor, or dark alcoves. My gaze strayed from Sam and Charlie to the couples copulating in those shadowy places. I still felt like an outsider, getting a view of it all.

Sam staggered over, and I laughed. Seeing him intoxicated was so different from what I was used to. He was puppy-like. He wrapped his arms around me. Cologne mixed with beer filled my nose, and he nipped at my ear.

“Steve…” His voice was almost a purr. “I want you.”

I groaned, and he took it the wrong way pushing his legs between mine drawing us closer.

“Not here.” I put a hand on his chest and pushed him back a little. He didn’t move for a moment, but Char came up behind him and tugged at his shirt.

“Feed me. I’m so hungry,” she whined.

Sam turned on her and cocked his head. “Pizza.” His voice had a dreamy sound to it.

“Yes!” she said, pulling out her gold card. “My treat.” She laced her fingers through Sam’s and dragged him towards the exit.

I didn’t mind being forgotten for food as I padded after them into the cool night. We were about half a mile from home, and none of the buses were running, but it wasn’t too cold to walk. Half an hour and a pizza stop later we were sitting around the coffee table in our apartment eating the greasy fare.

“There is nothing like pizza to cure a hangover.” Sam moaned as he took another bite.

“We aren’t hung over yet.” Char giggled and leaned back rubbing a hand over her stomach. “I’m stuffed.”

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders pulling her in as she let her eyes fall half closed.

“You two are no fun. Always passing out on me early.” Sam threw back another shot and stood up.

“What do you want to bet he’s passed out in less than ten minutes?” I whispered into Charlie’s ear.

She giggled some more. “I’ll take that bet. I give him fifteen minutes.”

I looked at Sam staggering around the kitchen pouring himself another shot as he stuffed the leftover pizza into the fridge. I held out my hand. “What’s the bet? Because you’re going to lose.”

She placed her dainty little hand inside my large one and squeezed. “If I win I get a night alone with you.”

I groaned inwardly. “Okay, and if I win no sex talk from either of you for a month.”

She gasped and smacked my shoulder. “Deal, but that doesn’t count after sexy time cuddling. You are so much better at it than Sam.”

“Why is that?” I sucked my lip ring into my mouth and stared at her.

“Because he passes out.”

We watched as he stumbled towards the bathroom and finally the bedroom. I checked my watch. “It’s been five minutes. Give it five more and we can go check and see.”

We watched the clock, and I dragged her off toward our now shared bed when the time had passed. Sam was snoring, quite audibly, sprawled out on his side of the bed.

I turned on her, a slight grin spreading over my face. “I win,” I whispered, making sure not to wake Sam so she couldn’t claim victory.

“You do.” She grumbled and flopped down into bed. She kicked off her jeans but left on her tank top.

I swallowed hard, my stomach turning over as anxiety caught me. I opened the button on my jeans and slowly took them off. I didn’t know if climbing into bed with both of them would ever become completely normal, but I reminded myself Sam was there to hold me if I started to dream. I started to climb in on the other side of Sam, but Charlie sat up.

“Come here.” She made grabby hands at me, and I paused but then pushed myself forward.

I sat on the edge of the bed next to her. She tugged at my arm, and I slid further back under her urging.

“Why do you always sleep on the other side of him?” she asked in a hushed tone.

I half shrugged and looked away. “Because it’s what’s comfortable. It’s not anything against you, Char.”

I lay on my back, and she rolled to her side and rested her chin on my chest. “I didn’t think it was.”

How would a normal guy act like this? I had to ask myself these things and try to mimic my behaviors. Simple human behaviors most people seemed to have on instinct went over my head. I lifted my hand and brushed my fingers through her hair.

“I’m used to climbing into bed with him. This is still new.” I trailed my fingers down her spine, and she shivered under the light touch.

“Even if it’s harder can we work on things between us. Small things, I do want this.” She paused and then added as an afterthought, “If you really want this.”

I knit my brow and pulled into myself. I wanted to run. I wanted to get away from the conversation, but I forced myself to talk. “I do want this, with both of you. I don’t want you to feel like the afterthought because of how I feel about Sam. We aren’t just sharing him.”

She gave me a small smile. “I was jealous of him today with those guys, but I’m not with him and you.” She laid her head on my chest and closed her eyes.

“Why not?”

“Because I know you care about me, too. You’re not going to steal him away and try to hurt me.” She yawned, and my chest swelled.

“I wouldn’t ever hurt you on purpose, Char.”

“I know.” She laid her head down on my chest.

There was jealousy, and feelings that would have to be waded through. Nothing about any of this was going to be easy. It was going to be an uphill battle, but we knew that. We had to hold on to the idea that it was going to be worth it.

It's all we had.

The End

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