Vegas Heat (13 page)

Damn, she hated keeping secrets from her husband and her family. She shouldn’t even be contemplating this.

Polly squirmed, her face puckering as she prepared to burp. The sound was loud in the quiet room. Jake laughed and Sunny smiled. Her family.

Today was going to be her true test. The family would be here for Polly’s christening. She had to get into her cheerful mode, schmooze with family members, pretend not to see the concern on her husband’s face, and see that everyone had a good time. How she was going to do that while sitting was still a mystery to her. She heaved a mighty sigh. She was tired of covering up, tired of not feeling well, tired of lying, and tired of the fear that consumed her twenty-four hours a day Maybe Sage was right and she had a screw loose inside her brain.

Sage was her confidant and she didn’t know why that was. She wished now, for the thousandth time, that she’d made more of an effort to socialize with Iris, Sage’s wife, and Lily Bell, Birch’s long time fiancée. She adored both young women. By her own choice she’d given up her job at the casino, elected to stay home with her children. She was safe here from inquisitive eyes and callous questions. At home she could control her wobbly gait. At home she could drop things and cover up her little accidents more easily. If she bumped into things, the help just smiled when she’d say, “Oops, I’m so clumsy ”

Today, though, her mother and Simon would be here. She’d never been able to hide anything from her mother. Her mother would notice. Then again, if Sage could occupy her, maybe not. Fanny would be busy with Jake and Polly. She could plead weariness and sit as much as she could. Although Sage hadn’t said, she was certain he’d confided in Iris. Iris would take up some of the slack, too.
What the hell is wrong with me?

She cried then, her tears dropping on Polly’s downy head. What if she had a terminal disease and she never lived to see her children grow up? Now she knew how her father felt, trapped in his wheelchair. Would he show up for Polly’s christening?

Jake stopped building his bridge, scrambled to his feet, and ran to the French doors leading to the small balcony “Pop Pop’s here, Mommy. Me go push his chair.”

Sunny looked at her watch. “Go ahead, Jake. Bring Pop Pop here, okay?” Her father was three hours early. What did
that
mean?

She heard the sound of the whirring chair before she saw it. She worked a smile onto her face as she shifted Polly so her father could get a better look at the infant.

“She looks like you did when you were born. My God, that was so long ago. We miss you at the casino, Sunny.”

“I bet. You couldn’t wait for me to leave when I was pregnant with Jake.”

“Image is everything, Sunny. Right now I suspect you’re more of a pro in regard to image making than I am. I came up here early because ... look, I know I’ve been a lousy father, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I do. Sometimes I get so full of self-pity I can’t see beyond my own needs. I have a keen eye, though. I know something’s wrong. I know you’re trying to hide it. I want to know why. You’re too young to be going through something like this. I want the truth. I won’t betray you, Sunny. I’m not that big a louse.”

Sunny could feel the tears start to build behind her eyelids. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I came up with this plan ... I don’t know why I’m fighting it, fear I guess. I didn’t want anyone to know. Tyler ... everyone is worried about me. Hell, I’m worried myself. That’s a lie. I’m scared to death. I’m afraid to find out.”

“Sunny, hiding from something isn’t the answer. You have to look it square in the face, deal with it, and go on from there. I know what I’m talking about. Whatever it is you can deal with it. You have more guts than anyone in this family.”

“Had. I have two children now. I came up with this plan. Tell me what you think.”

Ash listened, his eyes on his daughter. He stared intently as though seeing her for the first time.

“It sounds like a roundabout way of doing things. There are very good doctors here, and we can bring in specialists. What do you
think
is wrong?”

“I think I have a muscle or nerve disease. I read up on everything I could find and I think it’s multiple sclerosis. That means eventually I’ll be in a wheelchair like you. I won’t be able to take care of my own kids. People ... die with the disease.”

“How long have you known?”

“About a year before I got pregnant with Jake. I blamed everything under the sun and refused to see a doctor. I had tests. Nothing showed up. I figured if they couldn’t find anything whatever, it would go away. It didn’t. I never said I was the smart one in the family.”

“No, that spot is reserved for your mother. Does she know?”

“She hasn’t been here since Jake was christened. He’s three now. We talk almost every day. Actually, we used to talk every day. Weeks go by, and we don’t talk. She’s too busy with her new life. I think she thinks of me as an intrusion. Sage knows. Birch ... Birch doesn’t say anything. Everyone has their own lives. Billie is so busy with the business we don’t see each other that often. I see the worry on her face. I guess they all figure I’m married to a doctor, and I’m old enough to take care of myself. I haven’t done a very good job of it.”

“Do you want me to go with you, Sunny? It’s time for me to get an evaluation myself. But, before we do that, why don’t I do some checking and see if there’s a specialist a little closer to home. It would be better to start with one doctor and stick with him. If you need treatments, you’ll be near home. That’s important.”

“That’s very funny coming from you, Dad.”

“I know. Do you want some advice, Sunny? You don’t have to follow it.”

“Sure.”

“Everyone is going to be here today. Let me tell them. Or, you tell them yourself. They all care about you. None of them will turn their backs on you. It’s going to take some guts, but you have those by the bushel. Your mother is going to be devastated.”

“Hardly. She’s so wrapped up in her new life with her new husband there’s no time for visits, or ... anything. I’m the one who does the calling. She does call once a month. I could die in a month, and she wouldn’t know. Mom and Uncle Simon with a breeding kennel. From Wall Street to scooping up poop. It’s an eye-opener, all right. They’re making a fortune and love what they do. I suppose that’s half the battle. I’m jealous.”

“I understand the feeling, Sunny I’ve envied Simon for years. Then he up and marries my ex-wife. It didn’t go down real easy. So, what’s your answer? I’m here for you. A little late, but I’m here.”

Sunny’s shoulders drooped. She started to cry.

Ash stared at his daughter, a helpless look on his face. Suddenly he wanted to make things right for this girl of his that he’d wronged for so many years. He maneuvered his chair until he was alongside her. He reached for her hand and smiled. “Hey, we can do anything, we’re Thorntons, kiddo. I’m going to be here for you, and that’s a promise you can take to the bank. Things are running so smooth at the casino I can take off whole blocks of time. We’ll do whatever we have to do, Sunny.”

Sunny leaned over to lay Polly in the cradle next to her chair. She slid from the rocker to sit at her father’s feet, her head in his lap. She cried silently as her father patted her head.

Ash’s heart filled with something he’d never experienced before. He found himself choking up as he talked to his daughter. He knew he had to say the right words or it would all get away from him. “Listen to me, Sunny. I know you’re scared. I know what that’s like. What’s worse is the realization that things might not get better but stay as they are or even worsen. You have to handle the cards that are dealt to you because it’s the only game in town, kiddo. You don’t even want to think about the alternative. I went down that road, too. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I thought about ending it all. I’d start thinking about how I screwed things up, about the mistakes I made. I’d think about Simon and how much I hated him. Then I’d think about your mother and you kids. Every damn night I’d vow to make things better the next day. I never did though. I let other things get in the way. I love life and I know you do, too. That’s why I’m still hanging around. Yeah, I take pills and smoke stuff I shouldn’t. It’s the only way I can cope so that I can be around. Like I said, the alternative doesn’t bear thinking about.

“What we’re going to do is get a diagnosis. We’ll get the best of the best and you will do whatever it takes to get you on the road to recovery. You can handle this, Sunny, because you have two little kids to think about. This isn’t just about you anymore. It’s about Jake and Polly and your husband and the rest of us. We’re going to get you some full-time house help. I know a thing or two about that. Your mother was worn to a frazzle with the twins and my mother stepped in and made things right. We’ll lick this together.”

“Dad, what if I end up in a wheelchair? I can’t walk a straight line anymore, and I bump into things. Tyler won’t ... how’s he going to feel about me if that happens? What kind of wife and mother will I be?”

“The best. The same kind of wife and mother you are now. For starters you have to stop thinking so negatively. The first step is dealing with it. After you tell the rest of the family, we’ll go on from there. Is it a deal, Sunny?”

“It’s a deal.”

Fanny backed away from the doorway, her vision blurred. She motioned for Simon to be quiet and to back up and return to the foyer.

“What’s wrong?” Simon asked.

“Ash is in the room with Sunny.” She told him what she’d overheard. “I should be the one doing this, Simon. Why did Ash have to ... ? Why Ash? I was so damn busy leading this life you and I made for ourselves I ignored my daughter when I knew something was wrong. I pretended things were all right. In my heart I knew they weren’t. My God, what have I become? How could I become so selfish? I’m sorry I ever listened to you. This, Simon, is the result.”

“For heaven’s sake, Fanny, Sunny is a grown woman, and she’s married to a doctor. It’s her health, her body. What could you have done? Dragged her to a doctor? Forced her to do something she wasn’t ready to do? We both know Sunny. If you had done that, she would have told you to mind your own business and we both know it. So what if Ash is the one who is finally getting her to do something? He’s succeeding, and that’s the only thing that matters. If you stop and think about it, Fanny, he is the right person.”

“I find that very strange coming from you. Ash must have an ulterior motive then. He never does anything without a reason. He’s probably still after Sunny’s trust fund. I know he could get Birch’s with a snap of his fingers. I bet you that’s what this is all about.”

“Maybe this time it’s different. Maybe this time Ash is acting like a real father. I think you want to believe that. Let it be, Fanny. Let Sunny handle things her way. If that includes her father helping her through this, accept it. It’s got to be what’s best for Sunny. Right now she’s relating to Ash. We have our own lives.”

“I should have called more often. You always got so upset when my children called, Simon. I hated seeing that angry look on your face. I should have visited. You didn’t want me to visit. I’m sorry I listened to you. Sunny kept saying she was fine. I actually started to believe I was mistaken. I feel so guilty. What if she isn’t fine? What if this is really serious? How do I deal with that?”

“One day at a time. That has to be Birch. He’s the only one who blares his horn all the way up the mountain. Looks like Sage is right behind him. In about an hour this house is going to rock right off the mountain. When do you expect Billie Coleman and Thad Kingsley?”

“Momentarily. I’m so happy for Billie. She’s loved Thad for so long. It’s strange though, isn’t it? Thad was Moss’s best friend. They went through the war together and remained friends until the day Moss died. Thad loved Moss like a brother. Thad loves politics, but Billie hates it. Senator Thad Kingsley. It has a nice ring to it. I don’t think Billie will like living in the Washington fishbowl when they marry? What will that make Billie?”

Simon smirked. “A senator’s wife. Don’t you think it a little strange that Billie is contemplating marrying her husband’s best friend? How long have they been fooling around?”

Fanny stared at her husband. “No more strange than me marrying you. No, Billie was not fooling around. I resent you even thinking such a thing. There are days, Simon, when I don’t know who you are anymore. There are days when I don’t even like you.”

“I’m the same old me. Being anywhere near Ash brings out the worst in me. Sorry.” Fanny didn’t think he sounded sorry at all.

“The senator from Vermont. Billie told me how wonderful Thad’s farm is. She loves it there. She loves it as much as I love Sunrise. Wait till she finds out how many pups we have. Isn’t it strange, Simon, how life has come full circle for us? This should be the most wonderful time of our lives and it isn’t wonderful at all. Now this problem with Sunny. I’m feeling cheated and angry, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“I don’t want to hear that kind of talk. Let’s go outside and welcome the young people.”

“Why does what you just said make me feel very old? And why isn’t there any warmth in your voice?”

“Because we are old. As usual you’re imagining things.”

Fanny stared at her husband’s cold features. Fanny frowned. He was switching up again and acting like the old Simon.

The greeting was everything a family greeting should be. There were hugs and kisses, good-natured hisses and boos because there weren’t enough letters and phone calls, more hugs and kisses when young Billie and Bess arrived.

“Where are the presents?” Bess shouted. “We have ours. I don’t see any gaily wrapped packages for Miss Polly.”

They played the game because, as Ash said, it was the only game in town. The concern and worry in her children’s eyes matched Fanny’s. It didn’t need to be said with words, they all knew that today was a turning point of sorts for one of their own.

“Presents! You want presents! Well take a look at this,” Sage said, popping his trunk open. He pulled out a bright red tricycle. “Complete with horn and a banana seat!”