Various Positions (49 page)

49
“did the damndest thing”: Kris Kristofferson,
Take This Waltz
104.

50
“Leonard Cohen is an old”:
LC,
“Comme un Guerrier,”
Throat Culture 62
.

51
“Cohen lays on”: Farr in Jack Batten, “Cohen, the Genuine Article,”
Globe and Mail
(5 December 1970) 33.

52
“I decided I”:
LC
in Lumsden,
Weekend Magazine
(12 September 1970) 25.

53
“The book has been”:
LC
in Lumsden,
Weekend Magazine
(12 September 1970) 25.

54
“a symbol of their own”: Dorman 233–34.

55
“absolutely everything”:
LC,
“Comme un Guerrier,”
Throat Culture 62
.

56
“I began to believe”:
LC,
“Comme un Guerrier,”
Throat Culture 62
.

57
“I fell in love with”: FR [91].

58
“familiar poison, dependence and love”:
LC,
“Diary, Antigua, August 1973,”
LCA
[1].

59
“Sometimes I feel”:
LC
in Lumsden,
Weekend Magazine
(12 September 1970) 24.

60
“Suffering has led me”:
LC
in Lumsden,
Weekend Magazine
(12 September 1970) 25.

61
“You’ve got to recreate”:
LC
in Lumsden,
Weekend Magazine
(12 September 1970) 25.

1
“I had, as the model”:
LC,
Goldmine
17.

2
“thought I looked like”:
LC,
“Notes,”
BLC
.

3
“But the skylight is like skin”: “Last Year’s Man,”
SLH
.

4
“with each”:
LC
in H. Kibernick, “Cohen through the years,”
Melody Maker
(6 March 1975) 13.

5
“the same old droning work”:
LC
in Pirrie, “Cohen Regrets,”
New Music Express
(10 March 1973)
66
.

6
“European blues”:
LC
in H. Kubernik and J. Pierce, “Cohen’s New Skin,”
Melody Maker
(1 March 1975) 41.

7
“the reason I need girls”:
LC
in Paul Saltzman, “Famous Last Words from Leonard Cohen,”
Maclean’s
85 (June 1972) 80.

8
“I’m just reeling”:
LC
in Saltzman 78.

9
“Oh boy, we get to do”: LC quoted by BJ 10/29/94.

10
“Once I was walking”:
LC
in Burr Snider, “Leonard Cohen, Zooey Glass in Europe,”
Leonard Cohen, The Artist and His Critics
, ed. Michael Gnarowski (Toronto: McGraw-Hill Ryerson, 1976) 61–62.

11
“One got the feeling”: Roy Hollingworth, “Leonard Cohen,”
Melody Maker
(1 April 1972) 14.

12
“I have no more songs”:
LC
in Hollingworth 14.

13
“Should we not try some?”:
LC
10/24/95.

14
“Like the Eucharist”:
LC
10/24/95.

15
“Is this All?”:
LC
10/24/95.

16
“There are nights”:
LC
in Dorman 259.

17
“Trying to maintain”:
LC
in Dorman 242.

18
“life was art and God was music”: Jennifer Warnes 5/13/94.

19
“to squeezing memory and vocabulary”: FR 86–87.

20
“pious moods”: FR 87; originally a journal entry dated 26 July 1972,
LCA
.

21
“You ask me how I write”: FR 87.

22
“It took me eighty poems”: Saltzman 79.

23
“because I have the feeling”: Saltzman 80.

24
“what alone matters”: IL, inscription in
LC
’s copy of ES dated 4 December 1972.

25
“Partner in Spirit”:
LC,
cancelled dedication,
DLM, LCA
.

26
“the Lion of our Youth”:
LC,
cancelled dedication,
DLM, LCA
.

27
“To the late Robert Hershorn”: “Dedication,” RS.

28
“I can’t seem to bring”:
LC,
“Robert Appears Again,”
Writing Away, The PEN Canada Travel Anthology
, ed. Constance Rooke (Toronto: McClelland & Stewart, 1994) 54.

29
“It was a tricky time”:
LC
5/12/94.

30
“It began”:
LC
in Paul King, “Love, Zen and The Search for Self,”
Vancouver Sun
(30 June 1983) L6.

31
“I can’t get”:
LC
5/10/94.

32
“Bring friend”:
LC
5/10/94.

33
“It’s going to hurt”:
LC
5/10/94.

34
“the revenge of World War II”:
LC
5/10/94.

35
“Even as we lie here”: “O darling,” ES in.

36
“I dreamed about this”:
LC
5/11/94.

37
“How do you realize”:
LC
5/11/94.

38
“Where are the poems”: “I’d like to read,” ES 14.

39
“In many ways”:
LC
Goldmine
18.

40
“welcome to this book”: “How we loved you,” ES 115–16.

41
“Come down to my room”: “Come down,” ES 84.

42
“Why don’t you”: “You are almost always,” ES 82.

43
“the 15-year-old”: “the fifteen-year-old,” ES 97.

44
“I am no longer”: “I am no longer,” ES 24.

45
“write with compassion”: “The silly girl,” ES 39.

46
“Each man”: “Each man,” ES 122.

47
“I have no talent left:” “I have no talent,” ES 112.

48
“It was like dipping”:
LC
in Roy MacSkimming, “‘New’ Leonard Cohen opens up his thoughts,”
Toronto Star
(22 January 1975) E16.

49
“I’m thirty-eight years”:
LC,
autobiographical fragment (1973)
LCA
.

50
“While she suffers”: FR 88.

51
“Listening to gypsy violins”: FR 88.

52
“fighting over scraps”: FR 89.

53
“the mad mystic hammering”: Daphne Richardson, “Notes,” LS.

54
“In the House of Honesty”: “Seems So Long Ago, Nancy,” LS

55
“I’m too old”:
LC
in Twigg,
Georgia Straight
24.

56
“I just cannot stand”:
LC
to Roy Hollingworth in
Melody Maker
(14 February 1973) reported in “Leonard Cohen Quits his Musical Interests Will Stick to Writing,”
Toronto Star
(15 February 1973) 32.

57
“no longer … to be tangled up”:
LC
in
Toronto Star
(15 Feb 1973) 32.

58
“I never did retire”:
LC
in “Leonard Cohen: A Sad Poet Gets Happy,”
Toronto Star
(30 June 1973) 34.

59
“Bed-centered play”:
Hamilton Spectator
(5 June 1973) [n.p.].

60
“musical journey”: Clive Barnes,
NYT
reprinted in
Vancouver Sun
(28 September 1973) 24.

61
“to recover from”:
LC
in Pike,
Zig Zag
47.

62
“because it is so horrible”: FR 5;
DLM
54.

63
“to make my atonement”:
LC,
Vancouver Sun
(20 October 1973) 12.

64
“What a burden”: FR 11.

65
“I never became a sign”: FR 12.

66
“I won’t fuck”: FR 12.

67
“Nothing can stop me”: FR 16.

68
“I could see”: FR 20.

69
“I am in”: FR 22.

70
“The war was”: FR 24.

71
“long, stainless steel legs”: FR 30.

72
“I went immediately to”: FR 33.

73
“After I had showered”: FR 33.

74
“You will only sing”: FR 31.

75
“But I want her”: FR 31.

76
“tanks are the only”: FR 34.

77
“I manage to kill”: FR 34.

78
“May I entertain”: “My Life in Art,”
M
c
M.
40; this is a more polished section of
The Final Revision of My Life in Art
.

79
“It was very informal”:
LC
in Pike,
Zig Zag
47.

80
“but you get caught up”:
LC
in Pike,
Zig Zag
47.

81
“Feeling good in the desert”: “My Life in Art,”
M
c
M.
41.

82
“the people stop me”: “My Life in Art,”
M
c
M.
42.

83
“acid into diplomatic cocktail parties”: “Field Commander Cohen,” NS.

84
“passion and possession”: “My Life in Art,”
M
c
M.
43.

85
“It all breaks down”: “Pulled out of bed,” Prose Fragment,
LCA
[2].

86
“says I took away”: “Pulled out of bed,”
LCA
[2].

87
“make peace with the language of love”: FR 95.

88
“It’s no good”: LC, journal fragment [1973]
LCA
.

89
“What unfreezes a man?”:
LC,
ms. fragment,
LCA,
which continues with “By whose authority does he admit the Gulf Stream into his crystal? How does the humiliated spirit find its way out of the dead Kaballah?” cf.
DLM
61.

1
“I needed so much”: “The Night Comes On,” VP.

2
“If you want to see”: Joshu Sasaki Roshi,
Buddha is the Center of Gravity
(San Cristobal, New Mexico: Lama Foundation, 1974) 46.

3
“You should sing sadder”: Roshi to
LC,
“Comme un Guerrier,”
Throat Culture 62
.

4
“I need to go deeper”:
LC,
“Comme un Guerrier,”
Throat Culture 62
.

5
“When I go
there”
: LC
,
People 13 (14 January 1980) 57.

6
“the end of my life in art”:
DLM
190.

7
“Six-fifty [a.m.]”:
DLM
192.

8
“I swim in your love”:
DLM
62.

9
“I came so far for beauty”: “Came So Far for Beauty,” RS.

10
“Tibetan Desire”: BL 10.

11
“I am growing sick”: FR 26.

12
“Once I walked”: FR 30.

13
“Goodnight once again”: FR 95.

14
“The man in chains”: FR 97.

15
“I lost that”: FR 103.

16
“It’s the least painful”: FR 112.

17
“Too early for the rainbow”: “The Gypsy’s Wife,” RS.

18
“So the Chinese girl”: FR 103.

19
“It will become clear”:
DLM
21.

20
“You got old”: “Is This What You Wanted?,” NS.

21
“I rise up from her arms”: “There Is A War,” NS.

22
“has the deepest understanding”:
LC
in H. Kubernik, “Cohen Through the Years,”
Melody Maker
(6 March 1975) 13.

23
“Thank you”:
LC
in Pike,
Zig Zag
50.

24
“Maybe because”:
LC
in Danny Fields, “Leonard Cohen Looks at Himself,”
Soho News
1 (5 December 1974) 8.

25
“When I stand”:
LC
in Fields,
Soho News
9.

26
“one of the strongest”: H. Kubernik and J. Pierce, “Cohen, A True Craftsman,”
Melody Maker
(28 December 1974) 12.

27
“the first lover”: FR 106.

28
“There is a lot”: John Rockwell, “Leonard Cohen Gives His Songs,”
NYT
(9 February 1975) 16.

29
“he looks like an overworked”: Andrew Weiner, “Poet on the Rack,”
New Musical Express
(5 April 1975) 33.

30
“It is not exactly”: FR 36–37.

31
“street father”: FR 40.

32
“to teach my son”: FR 40.

33
“I am going”: FR 43.

34
“then the obscene silence”: FR 44.

35
“created so much tougher”: FR 45.

36
“I gave a woman”: FR 45.

37
“The moon is over”: FR 46–47.

38
“against Domestic Conversations”: FR 48.

39
“The first woman”: FR 48.

40
“Without the Name”: FR 52.

41
“My heart longs”:
DLM
63.

42
“Names preserve”: BL 40.

43
“Leonard hasn’t been”: PH 33.

44
“When it comes to”:
DLM
79.

45
“I am almost”:
DLM
212.

46
“We will go back”: FR 53.

47
“I should have killed”: FR 53.

48
“who loves me”: FR 57.

49
“Did I know”: FR 64.

50
“Desire in Athens”: FR 65.

51
“To see me you must”: FR 81.

52
“not been denied”: FR 82.

53
“We didn’t get”:
LC
4/21/95.

54
“I decided to worship”: FR 85.

55
“in the style of”: FR 72.

56
“who lighted up”: FR 73.

57
“the song could not”: FR 73.

58
“I don’t know why”: “Notes,”
BLC
.

59
“Body important”:
LC
4/21/95.