Vanquished (8 page)

The line between her eyebrows disappears, even though the wrinkles at her eyes don't. “You agree with me.”

“Yes, I agree with you.” There's something strange about the whole situation.

The relief is evident on her face. She thought I would say she was crazy—like Jamie thought about me when I told her about the chemo.

“I think I should tell someone.”

“No!” I shout it too quickly and too loudly, and the kids in front of us stop talking and look at us.

I grab Ava's arm and drag her away. “You can't do that, Ava. If something really
is
going on, and you suspect it, they're going to lock you away just like Markus.”

Her eyes widen and her face goes pale. “They couldn't do that, could they?”

I'm beginning to question exactly what the Greaters
can
do. “Yes, they can, and they will, Ava. You have to stay away from them.”

Her eyes stay glued to mine for what feels like eternity. She bites her lower lip and finally shrugs. “OK, I guess, but what am I supposed to do with this idea?”

Now it's my turn to glance around. When I'm sure no one is watching us I say, “Figure out where he was, what he was doing—what he saw. Find his trail. You can figure it out.”

She frowns. “I don't know if I can.”

“You can and you have to. If you want to figure out what's going on, I'll help you.”

“How?”

Good question. “I'm not sure, but we'll figure it out.”

A guard is walking down the street. She's not watching us, but I don't want to take any chances. “I'll talk to you tomorrow, Ava,” I say, and I leave her with a wave and hurry home.

Dad sits at the table grading papers. “Would it be OK if I didn't go to the hospital today?” I only have two days before my entertainment allowance expires, and I want to get Mom those books before then. Besides, I've promised to hang out with Jamie and Easton later this afternoon.

Dad glances up from his paper in surprise. “You don't want to go?”

“I have some stuff I promised Mom I would do.”

His face relaxes some, like he's glad I'm not tired of going to the hospital.

I'm surprised myself when I realize I'm
not
tired of going to the hospital.

“That's fine, Hana. I'll go.” He puts his paper down and stands up, slipping his feet into his shoes. “So what are your plans?”

“I'm going to The Shops to get Mom some books. Jamie will probably come with me.”

My dad nods, and I slip out the door once I put my things down. I hope Jamie doesn't mind coming with me before we meet up with Easton.

Since talking with Ava I feel jittery. Out of sorts. Paranoid. The more I learn about what's wrong with our country, the more I wonder about everything I've been taught. Is everyone in on a conspiracy? Is no one good?

I shake off the bad feelings and knock on Jamie's door. Her mom answers and smiles at me. She doesn't speak, just points me upstairs. The stairs creek as I climb.

“Jamie?” I call out.

Her head pops out of the closet. “Hey, Hana,” she says quietly. Has she been crying? “You're early.”

“Do you want to go to The Shops with me before we meet Easton? I want to get my mom some books.”

She wrings her hands together, her gaze darting around the room. Finally, she nods. “Sure. That'd be great.”

I wonder if she and her mom had a fight or something.

“Let me grab my stuff.” Her hands shake as she stuffs things in a small purse.

I frown. “Are you OK?”

“Yep, fine. Let's get out of here, OK?”

“Yeah, sure.” I follow her downstairs and wave at her mom as we pass. Once we're outside in the open, she seems to relax a little. Maybe she and her mom really did have a fight, and now she's glad to be away. Still, I want to make sure. “Are you sure you're OK?”

She glances up and down the street about a half dozen times. “Yes. Or I will be. So, how did your pow-wow with the medic go?”

I shake my head. “I haven't seen him yet. He hasn't brought it up again, and I haven't asked.”

“Oh?” she says. “It's better that way.” She doesn't expound, and I stare at her, worried. Something is definitely bothering her, and I'm determined to get her to tell me before we get home.

The Shops is a group of old buildings that used to be called a mini mall. We try to use the old buildings around town that are still in good shape, even though most of them are more than two hundred years old. There's a clothing shop, an apothecary, a bookstore, a toy shop, a restaurant, and a bakery. We head to the bookstore first.

“I'm surprised you have any entertainment allowance left,” Jamie says.

I frown at her. “I've been at the hospital for more than a week straight.” It's not like her to forget something like that.

Her expression clouds and then clears. “Right. Sorry. I heard at school that Mr. Dillard is making new soaps out of flower extract or something. The girls say it makes your skin smell good.”

“Like perfume?”

She nods.

Perfume is rare and expensive. My mom has a bottle she keeps on her dresser, but she hardly ever wears it. If I don't spend all my allowance on books, I might head to the apothecary to smell it.

The aroma of musty old books drifts in the air as we push through the door of the bookstore. I browse the selection, and Jamie breaks out of her odd behavior long enough to recommend a few titles for Mom. They're really good choices, and I add them to my small stack.

A big man in dirty clothes barges through the door. He carries a large box of books. “New stuff just in,” he says to Mrs. Baily, the bookkeeper's wife. He sets his load on the counter and then mops his forehead with a towel.

Mrs. Baily's small eyes light up. “Where'd these ones come from?”

“A dig about a hundred miles north of here. I haven't gone through them yet, though, so you'll have to weed out what stays and what goes.”

Mrs. Baily nods. “No problem.”

We don't have the supplies to print books anymore, so we rely on old books from the Early Days that people dig up. Some books aren't allowed to stay, though. Books that deal with touchy subjects like politics, religion, and rebellion are burned.

I've never actually seen books right off a dig, and I'm intrigued. “Can I look at them?” I ask Mrs. Baily.

She smiles like she understands my fascination and nods. “You can look, but don't touch. They haven't been cleaned or sorted yet.”

Some of the books have dull, single-colored hard covers, but others have bright, flashy covers, and I wonder how they printed pictures like that right on a book.

Mrs. Baily sorts through them while I browse.

One book is different than the others. It looks soft, like leather. I reach my hand out to touch it. It's covered in dust, and I can't read the title so I brush my hand over it.

Holy Bible.

Mrs. Baily gasps and snatches it away. She holds it to her chest, her eyes wide with terror.

I pull back, surprised at her odd behavior.

“This one's got to be burned,” she says. “You shouldn't look at it, and don't mention it!”

I frown, my face contorting in confusion. “I understand,” I finally mutter. But I can't make sense of her reaction. I don't even know those words. Holy Bible. Why would they make her so afraid?

Her behavior gives me the creeps, and I want to get out of there. We pay for the books and head outside.

“Did you see that?” I ask.

“Hmm?” Jamie says.

Obviously, she hadn't. I shake my head, glad to put it behind me. “Do you want to smell Mr. Dillard's new soap?”

She frowns like she doesn't know what I'm talking about, but then her face clears. “Oh, right. Sure. Let's go.”

A small bell tied to the door of Mr. Dillard's shop jingles when the door opens. The tinkling sound makes me happy, lessening the bad feeling I got from the bookstore.

“Good afternoon, girls,” Mr. Dillard says. “How are you today?”

The apothecary sells herbs, candles, soaps, and cleaners. Everything he makes comes from things grown in the ground. He looks like he's about a hundred, with wrinkles on his forehead, cheeks, neck, arms, and even his hands, but Mom says he's only in his sixties.

“We heard you had some new flower soaps.”

He grins, and I notice he doesn't have any teeth. “It's called perfumed soap. It used to be common in the Early Days, but it's not so common these days.”

He pulls something off the shelf and gives it to us to smell. The scent of fresh lilacs meets my nose.

“What do you think?” he asks.

“I like it,” I say. I hand him the rest of my allowance. “How much is it? Does this cover it?”

He smiles and nods. “This will be fine.”

Jamie smiles tightly and thrusts the soap back at me. Her face looks a little green.

We hurry outside and I grab her arm. “Are you sick or something? What's wrong, Jamie? You haven't been acting right all day, and I need to know you're OK.”

She glances around and starts walking again.

“Jamie!” I say, hurrying to catch up.

“I really think you shouldn't meet that guy alone."

This again? “What are you talking about?”

“Don't meet any guy alone, not even Keegan.”

“Jamie, you're not making any sense!”

She stops now and looks around one last time. She leans close to me and I see the tears in her eyes. “Being alone with a guy is bad, Hana. I don't know what to do.”

My stomach drops to my knees and I hold my breath as she says her next words.

“I think I'm pregnant.”

 

 

 

 

14

 

Pregnant? I can't imagine my best friend being pregnant. We're still in school! We haven't taken our Tests yet, let alone finished our college training.

Then another thought hits me. They're going to make her abort the baby. You aren't allowed to have children before the given time. If she refuses, they will lower her status, and she won't be allowed to take the Test.

The thought of Jamie in a Lesser city horrifies me, but the alternative is much worse.

“What will you do?” I ask. I'm afraid to hear her answer. I'm afraid she'll say she's keeping the baby, and I'll never see her again. Middles aren't allowed to enter the Lesser cities. But I'm more afraid she'll say she's
not
keeping the baby. I don't care what the government says, the thought of killing a little baby makes my stomach hurt. It can't be right, no matter what they say it does for society.

She studies me for a minute and then looks straight ahead. “I won't abort the baby. I won't do it.”

I sigh with relief. Somehow, never seeing her again is more palatable to me then thinking my best friend is a baby killer.

She glances at me when she hears the sigh. “Do you think it's the right thing?” Her eyes are unsure, scared.

“Yes!” I say, way too quickly. I take a moment to figure things out. “Yes, it's the right thing. I don't know why or how, but I know it's got to be the right thing.”

Jamie nods. “Me, too. I haven't told anyone yet. I wasn't really sure at first, but I'm pretty sure now.”

I think of Easton. I don't know him well at all. How could this have happened? “What will Easton say about keeping the baby?”

“He'll go with me. I'm sure of it. He loves me.”

Her words stick out to me.
He'll go with me.
Because they'll be forced to leave the city. But will he go with her? I sure hope so. A strange fear creeps into my belly, and I close my eyes against the dizziness that hits me.

“You won't tell anyone, will you?”

The fact she doesn't know for sure I'll keep her secret hurts me, but then I consider the position she's in. If I think
I'm
scared and confused, how does she feel? As soon as anyone finds out she'll be sent away. The longer we can keep it quiet, the longer she'll get to stay in Middle City 3.

“No, I won't tell. How long do you think you can keep it a secret, though?”

I have no idea about things like babies and pregnancy. I've never actually known anyone who was having a baby.

Jamie shrugs. “I don't know.” She covers her face with her hands. “I don't know how this happened. I'm so stupid.”

I want to tell her,
yeah, pretty stupid
, but I don't. I doubt it would help the situation.

“They'll try and make you do it, you know? They won't let you go so easily.” She's from a good family, and she makes good grades in school. They won't let her go without a fight. If she aborts the baby, she can stay, even though she would be on probation. They will try to make her abort.

She grinds her teeth together. “I won't give in. I'll prepare myself for the worst future possible—living in filth, or poverty, or…or alone.” The last word comes out as a whisper.

We're almost home now. I stop and give Jamie a hug. “I'm glad you told me, Jamie. I'm glad you're making the decision you are. You'll do the right thing—we're too much alike, and I know what I'd do.”

Jamie smiles, but her eyes pin me down. “That's what I'm afraid of, Hana. Don't meet that guy alone. Please!'

I freeze, appalled at the thought of going
there
with Fischer.

“We don't even know each other!” I say. “And I told you it's not like that.” I can tell my ears are red because they burn like fire.

Jamie studies me another short moment and shrugs again. “I'm just saying.” She hugs me one last time. We're in front of her house now. “Thanks for taking me with you. It's good to know I'm not alone.”

“You're not,” I say.

We both stop talking when her mom steps outside. “Jamie, that boy is in the backyard. Did you invite him over again?” It's obvious her mom isn't very happy with the relationship. How's she going to take it when she finds out what's been happening between them?