Vanquished (22 page)

“Can you tell me more about Heaven?”

His worried face falls away and is replaced with what can only be described as a glow—like someone who has a terrific secret and they're about to let you in on it. “Heaven? Heaven is spending an eternity with God.”

I watch him, waiting for more. When he doesn't speak I look away. “Do you know what I've always been taught? About reincarnation, I mean?”

“Yes,” he says. “I was taught the same thing at school. It's a lie, though, all lies. Don't you see? It's natural for people to look for a deeper meaning. The Greaters had to give us something to believe.”

His words make sense. After all, I've seen the deception in the city myself. I give a sharp nod. “OK, I believe you.”

He smiles and stands. “I knew you would, Hana.” He pauses, like he's going to say or do something else, but then he turns and leaves the room.

I stare after him for long moments, not sure what my feelings are. I want nothing more in this moment than for him to come back. Just to sit with me. Just to wait with me.

My mom wakes up minutes before I have to leave, and it's only because Dr. Lane has returned. I don't dare bring up heaven and hell with her in the room, so our talk will have to wait. I kiss Mom goodbye and head home.

The sun sinks lower in the sky, and with each step I take I feel like I've gained a hundred pounds. The past two nights of staying up late are catching up with me, and I'm anxious for a night of uninterrupted sleep.

I walk through the front door and freeze.

Keegan and his mom sit on our couch. My dad is in the armchair, smiling at me like he's just given me the biggest birthday present ever.

“Hana!” Keegan says. He flies off the couch and rushes to me.

At first I think he's going to hug me, which he's never done before, but he doesn't. He just stands in front of me smiling, all six foot two of him.

My throat swells up and tears burn my eyes. I try to laugh instead of cry. I'm not sure I've ever felt so much relief in my entire life. Keegan's here. A friend. A confidant. The familiar.

“You're early,” is all I can manage to say around my tears. “I thought you weren't coming until Monday.”

He grins. “I wanted to surprise you. I thought I could help take your mind off the Test.”

I laugh, but truthfully, my mind hasn't been on the Test anyway. “I'm glad you're here, Keegan.” And I mean it. I crane my neck around him to see his mom. “Hi, Mrs. Clem.”

She waves her hand in a small circle. “Hi, Hana. I've missed seeing you.”

I suddenly wonder why I haven't thought to visit her in these last weeks.

My dad stands up. “I've started a vegetable stew, Hana. Why don't you and Keegan set the table?”

“Sure,” I say. “Let me put my bag upstairs.”

Keegan moves to follow me.

I freeze on the stairs and stare at him in confusion. I don't understand what he's doing. Boys and girls aren't allowed to be alone.

He pauses and looks at me, still smiling, waiting for me to keep moving.

I glance at Dad and his mom, but they're talking again and not paying us any mind, so I keep moving toward my room. He follows.

“I made my mom keep it a secret,” Keegan says. “With your mom and everything, I knew you'd probably like some extra cheering up. I almost asked Jamie to come over, but Mom said it'd be better with just us tonight.”

I drop my bag onto my bed and stare at him in shock. “Your mom didn't tell you?”

He frowns for the first time. “Tell me what?”

A bark of a laugh escapes my lips, and I drop onto my bed like a bag of school books. I can't believe she didn't tell him. “Jamie was sent away.”

“Sent away? What are you talking about?”

I look into his eyes and hate to be the one to break the news. No wonder his mom didn't mention it. “She got pregnant and refused to abort the baby, so the Greaters sent her to a Lesser city.”

He stares at me like he's waiting for the punch line. He completely doesn't believe me. Finally, he shakes his head. “That can't be true, Hana. That doesn't happen.”

I stand face to face with him now. “It does happen, Keegan, and it did. Jamie's not the only one. Do you remember Ava and Markus?”

“The twins? Markus used to play football with us after school. Sure, I remember them.”

“Gone, both of them.”

He's shaking his head again, but this time he looks a lot less sure of himself. “There has to be more to the story, Hana. They don't just send people away.” Some emotion plays on his face, something I don't recognize. He wavers. "I've heard of others—"

My dad's voice drifts up to us, calling us to hurry and set the table.

I step close to Keegan. “There is definitely more to the story, Keegan, and I hope you'll help me find it.”

He seems startled by my sudden closeness, and he steps away. “What do you mean?”

“A lot has changed since you left.
I've
changed.” I pause and glance at my bedroom door to make sure no one is in the hallway listening. “Will you come with me Sunday night?”

“Sunday night? You mean after curfew?” His eyebrows shoot up and his voice cracks.

I shrug. “Are you coming or not?”

He stares at me for what feels like forever. Finally, he nods. “Yeah, I guess so. Where are we going?”

This is the part I'm sure he's not going to like, and it's worse because I only have a moment to explain. “I've met some people,” I say. “They've told me about God. A real God, not some imaginary being who lives in a cloud.”

He laughs. “Very funny. Where are we going, for real?”

“I'm not joking, Keegan. You've been gone, and so maybe you don't understand how things feel around here. My mom is dying.”

That shuts him up pretty fast.

“She wants to know what's going to happen to her, and so do I. I don't trust what the Greaters have taught us all these years.”

“Why,” he interrupts me. “What makes you doubt them on that subject?”

This is too big for a quick conversation, but I try. “They have medicine to heal her, but they're not giving it to her. I overheard the doctors discussing it when they didn't know I was there. And besides, they've obviously lied about other things.”

His eyes widen. He takes a deep breath and wipes his hand down his face. “OK, so what? We're going to meet these people in the dead of the night?”

I can tell he thinks I will say no. “Exactly.”

 

 

 

 

40

 

Keegan does a good job of keeping his face neutral when we go back downstairs. We set the table and have dinner together. My dad beams the whole time, and I wonder if it's because he thinks Keegan's presence will get me out of the funk I've been in.

“Won't you get in trouble for being over here after dark?” I ask, realizing the sun is setting fast.

“I think it will be OK, just this once,” Mrs. Clem says with a smile.

“So Keegan,” Dad says. “Tell us about Middle City 1.”

Keegan's face lights up and he leans forward. “They have so many things I've never heard of there. It's a richer city, one that has more Greaters in it than our city. There are places called movie theaters, and they have something called ice cream. Everything looks newer, too. It isn't so run down and condemned.”

“What's ice cream?” I ask.

“A dessert. It's like…” he thinks for a minute. “Frozen milk! I think that's what they called it. It's sweet, though, made with sugar. I can't even tell you how good it is. And the music system is amazing. They have these things called electric guitars. The instruments hook up to something called a speaker, and it makes the music louder, so more people can hear it.”

The things he describes sound foreign to me. How can such advanced technology exist? But then I realize I've seen things in our own city—things like the guards' small computers, and the strange glasses one guard wore in the night. And, of course, the blinking lights.

“What's the training schedule like?” Dad asks. “And how do you move into the industry after you finish?”

I stare at Keegan while he talks. I'm so happy he's home. It's so normal. Nothing has been normal in a while. His face practically glows while he speaks, and his blue eyes are lit with excitement. He tells Dad about his usual daily schedule, and about how when he's finished training they'll test him on his skill level to see where he'll fit into the entertainment industry.

Way before I'm ready, it's time to say goodnight. Keegan lingers at the door after his mom hurries across the backyard to her house. My dad surprises me by going upstairs and leaving me alone with him.

Butterflies tickle my stomach as I look up at him. “I've missed you.”

His eyes are gentle. “I've missed you, too.”

We stand there like this for too long, and I need to make a move away. I step back. “Will you be at the graduation ceremony tomorrow?”

He gives a sad, lopsided smile. “I wouldn't miss it for the world.”

We say goodnight and I hurry upstairs to bed. My heart is lighter than it has been in weeks, and I'm too excited to sleep, even if I'll regret staying up when morning comes. My eyes fall on the Bible Fischer gave me.

Fischer.

Confusion replaces the light feelings again. It's a feeling I'm getting more and more used to. If I can't sleep, I might as well read. I flip pages to the book of John, where Fischer read to me. I start reading, and I don't stop until I've devoured the whole book.

Goose bumps prick my arms as I read about this Man called God's son, who was born, lived, and then died. Jesus.

I suddenly forget all about Keegan and graduation and the Test. All I want to do is meet Mr. Elders. I want to know more. I may not be able to save Mom from the mutation, but at least I can help her learn about Heaven.

My eyes finally get too heavy to read, and I drift to sleep.

Morning comes, and I hurry to school. I wear something nice—a white skirt and blue blouse—just because it's graduation day. Jamie and I used to talk about what we'd wear for our last day of school.

It's the last day of school! I'm excited in spite of myself. Maybe it's because I have a secret, or maybe it's because Keegan is home. Whatever it is, I'm glad to feel happy.

The day passes in a blur of emotion. I miss Jamie, and I realize too late that Mom won't get to see me graduate. Tears start running as I study my speech.

Mrs. Sewell passes with an understanding smile. “Graduation is always an emotional day,” she says.

But she can't possibly understand. For the first time, I wonder about Mrs. Sewell. She's as kind as Fischer. Maybe she's part of the rebellion, too. That thought makes me happy.

The small gymnasium is filled with family and friends at noon, and the other graduates line up around me. This is it.

“How are you?” Lilith asks.

Again I'm suspicious of her kind voice. Has she seen Keegan out there? Maybe she guessed he would be coming home, and she wants to be sure she makes a good impression. “I'm fine. How are you?”

“Excited. And nervous.”

I smile at her and nod. “Yeah, that too.”

“I was thinking that maybe we could hang out sometime. Maybe we could be friends.”

This is the most shocking thing I've ever heard her say. Is she serious?

Someone gives the cue, and it's time to start marching. I only have time to smile and nod, and we start into the gym. People cheer and clap as each graduate receives a diploma. My stomach does summersaults as I give my speech.

Before I know it the service is over. My dad hugs me, his smile as big as the sun. “Your mom and I are so proud of you.”

I look to his eyes, needing to see that he means it.

His eyes glow with tears. Maybe he is proud, after all. A small piece of my world fits back into place.

I've gotten through the first big hurdle of the weekend—graduation. Tomorrow I'll meet Fischer's group, and on Monday I'll take my Test. I dread it all and yet, I can't wait to get it over with.

As we're leaving the school, I spot Easton. He leaves the graduation ceremony alone. His shoulders slump and he shuffles like he's lost his best friend. I know exactly how he feels.

 

 

 

 

41

 

Sunday is sunny and warm, making for the most perfect day ever.

“Why don't you spend the afternoon with Keegan?” Dad says over breakfast. “We can go together to see your mom, and then I'll stay when you leave to meet him.”

I stare at him, unsure if he's implying what I think he's implying.

He smiles, like he can read my mind. “I've already talked to Margaret about it, and she agreed to chaperone you.”

Relief floods me, and I nod. “That sounds great, Dad. Thanks.” Having Mrs. Clem there makes it better. For some reason I'm afraid to be alone with Keegan. What will he expect from me? I'm still not sure he'll like the new me, once he gets to know her.

My dad smiles, all signs of his frustration and anger a few days ago gone now.

We head to the hospital after breakfast. My mom looks as bad today as she did two days ago. She's as skinny as a skeleton, and dark circles ring her eyes.

“There's my graduate,” she says. “How did it go?”

“OK.” I bend down to give her a kiss, and her cheek burns my lips. “Mom, you've got a fever.”

She shrugs. “It can't be helped.”

I grind my teeth and lean away. There is help, and I want to tell her all about the Bible Fischer brought me, but that's not an option with Dad sitting there.

“Tell me about the ceremony,” she says.

This is something I can discuss. “It was short, thankfully, and my speech seemed to go over well.”