Valentine from a Soldier (5 page)

“Your flight’s at 11:00,” he said quietly.

“What?” I asked,
confused,
turning to face him.

“The concierge called the room earlier.  They said they were able to find a flight out for you.”

“Oh,” I replied, suddenly feeling crestfallen.  I couldn’t wait to fly
home
yesterday, and now I couldn’t imagine leaving.

“Want me to order breakfast while you get ready?” he asked, his voice deep.

“Sure,
let’s have breakfast together,
”
I answered, gazing into those blue ey
e
s.

“First things first though.”  He brushed my hair aside and lowered his lips to my neck,
planting kisses slowly up it until he finally reached my mouth
.  His hand trailed down from my stomach, landing much f
a
rther below it and reminding me of what it
had
felt like to be with him
last night
.  I wondered if we’d even
have time
for
breakfast.

***

Although I was no expert at one-night-stands, I
didn’t think
that
you were supposed to fall
for the
guy you’d slept with
.  I wanted to cry
when
Ryan
dropped me off at the airport.  It was kind of silly for him to ride in the cab along with me, simply prol
onging our inevitable goodbye, b
ut he’d insisted, and I didn’t have the strength in me to tell him not to.  I wanted to spend a few more precious minutes together as much as he had. 
As we stood by the
check-in
counter, right before I went through airport security, I wanted to imagine that I was leaving for a quick trip and would be coming home again soon. 
Coming back to
Ryan
.
  I knew I was probably
just
head-over-heels in lust from an amazing night spent together—an amazing morning as well, if I must admit.  But as he brushed his thumb against my lips and tenderly kissed me goodbye, it was hard to imagine that I’d never see him again.  People didn’t just meet like this and have such a great connection and spark only to be separated a short time later.

The plane ride back to Chicago gradually beg
a
n to dull my memories
,
though.  I knew we’d had an amazing
night together
, knew that the physical feelings had been real, but I was now certain that any other feelings between us were something that I’d imagined.  Maybe he’d come to see me someday, months from now, and we’d realize what a mistake it had been.  That our
night in San Francisco had been just that—one night, and not something that we could carry on into any kind of future or long-distance relationship.

Morgan
and Josh
were waiting for me when I exited the plane. 
I was surprised but
realized I should have expected it
.  Although they didn’t make it a habit of picking me up at the airport
since I traveled all the time
, we had a lot of last-minute wedding planning to do. 
There was a
final dress-fitting for
Morgan
this afternoon
, plus the bridesmaid dress
-
fittings for the other girls and me.  I’d also promised Josh I’d help him pick out something to give
Morgan
on their wedding day,
an outing
Morgan
knew about but pretended
that
she didn’t for his sake.

Morgan ran over to me excitedly, her long dark hair billowing out behind her.  She threw her arms around my neck and gave me a big hug.  “Sarah!  I can’t believe you couldn’t make it back last night.  The bachelorette party was amazing!  I’m so sad you
weren’t
there.”

“I can’t believe I missed it either after all that planning,” I said with a wry smile.
  “I’m glad you had fun though.”

“So what’d you do in San Fran last night?” Josh asked as he sauntered over.
 
With his
light brown hair and boyish good looks, I’d always thought that he and Morgan made an especially cute couple.  He hooked one arm around Morgan’s shoulders as she eventually released me from her embrace.  “I keep hearing all about this amazing night you planned, and you couldn’t even bother to show up for it?”  He gave me a teasing smile, and I playfully punched him in the arm.

“Very funny.
  Do you think I waited around the airport for hours
yesterday
just for fun?”

“It sounded like
a
fun
night judging
from the text you sent me earlier,” Morgan said flashing me a smile.

“It sounds like there’s a story
that
I’m missing
here
,” Josh said,
glancing between the two of us
.

“It’s just girl talk,” I reassured him.  “Nothing you’d want to hear about.”

He raised his eyebrows doubtfully
, and Morgan laughed.  “Don’t worry, Sweetie.  I’ll tell you all about it later.”

“No need to do that,” I interrupted, abruptly changing the subject.  “
D
on’t we have a dress-fitting to get to?”

After spending a few hours in the bridal shop
with Morgan and the rest of the bridesmaids
, I met Josh at a jewelry store
around the corner
to help him pick out a special gift
.  He was eyeing
large
heart-shaped lockets, which were cute, but something I thought
Morgan
would have liked more if she were a teenager and not a grown woman walking down the aisle.

“Picking out something for your girlfriend?” the saleswoman asked as she approached us.

“Oh, I’m not his girlfriend,” I said.

“I need something for my fiancé
e
,” Josh explained.

“Congratulations!” the woman loudly exclaimed, giving me a big smile.

“I’m not his fiancé
e
either,” I said with an amused laugh.  “He’s marrying my best friend.”

“Oh, I see,” she
replied
, the smile never leaving her face.  “Let me
find something you both think she’d like.
”

Josh and I looked
at trays of
earrings and necklaces.  He was completely clueless when it came to jewelry, and I was actually glad that he’d invited me along, for Morgan’s sake.  They’d picked out her engagement ring together, and after seeing his taste, I understood why.  I was able to offer a few suggestions on what I thought Morgan would like, and in the end he selected a
beautiful pearl necklace
for her
.
  We left the jewelry store with Josh excited about his gift and me more than ready to finally head home.

Josh thanked me for helping him and dropped me off at my
apartment
building
late Saturday afternoon
.  He offered to carry my suitcase in, but I told him it wasn’t necessary.  As I finally
rolled my suitcase into my bedroom
and tossed my
other
belongings down
on the bed
, I realized that I’d never turned my phone back on after my flight.  I’d been busy with Morgan and
the other bridesmaids for most of the afternoon
and
then
was so busy shopping with
Josh
that I
had completely
forgotten
about it.  As I powered it back on, it immediately beeped with a new message.

Hope you had a safe flight.  Miss you already.  Ryan

A warm feeling surged through me, and I smiled.  We’d said we’d keep in touch and see what happened, but I didn’t
e
xpect to hear from him so soon.  Didn’t guys have a
three
-day rule or something before
calling or texting
the girl
they’d gone out with
? 
And really, technically, we hadn’t
even
gone out on a date together, just had a one-night-stand
—something
I never, ever did. 
Maybe I was far enough away that it felt safe
for him to
contact
me
. 
It’s not like I could expect him to ask me out
to dinner
on
Friday night
. 
Plus he was still back in San Francisco, enjoying his vacation.  Once he returned to work and resumed his normal life, I was certain that I’d be out of sight, out of mind.
 
I was still pleased to hear from him though, and
I quickly typed a message back.

Miss you, too.  XOXO Sarah

I tossed my phone onto my nightstand and set about unpacking my clothes.  Since I traveled so often, I refilled everything in my toiletries bag so that it would be ready to go for
my next trip
.  I was always prepared
,
and it saved me the trouble from having to remember
e
ach time what I needed to bring.  I actually would need
an overnight bag
next weekend since I’d be staying at the hotel where Morgan and Josh were getting married. 
The rehearsal dinner was Friday night at a swanky restaurant in Chicago, but
the wedding and reception were being held at a
n upscale
hotel.
Morgan wanted all of the girls to get ready together in her bridal suite
, and
I’d booked my own room
for that night
since it would be easier just to
stay
there after the reception
ended
.

I pulled my dress from my suitcase and was surprised when a piece of paper fluttered to the ground.  It was folded neatly in thirds, and as I opened it up, I saw that the letterhead was from the hotel in San Francisco.  Ryan’s scribbled handwriting filled the page, and my mouth dropped open
in surprise
as I beg
a
n to read his letter.

Sarah,

I hope that I didn’t come on too strong last night.  I was trying to play it cool at the bar,
casually drinking my beer,
but of course I noticed you
even before
I sat down and hoped that you would talk to me.  I know you asked me several times what I was doing in San Francisco, and I was always a little bit vague.  The truth is,
the reason I’d always planned to return was because of my fiancé
e
. 
She was from the east coast and had never been out to California.  When we got engaged, it was her dream for us to
come here
together one day
.  I hope you’re still reading
this
and not angry with me for neglecting to tell you the full story.  She died last year from injuries
she sustained in
a car accident.  I was in Iraq and didn’t get to the hospital in time to say goodbye.
 
For that I will never forgive myself, but
I came here
because I’d always promised her that we would
,
and
it was my way of
finally saying goodbye
. 
I
haven’t dated
at all since the accident
,
and I never thought that I’d feel
that way about anyone
again.  While I did sit beside you hoping
only
to
talk to a pretty girl for the evening, I
never expected
for my time in San
Francisco to
include
falling for
you
, Sarah.
 
I keep thinking
about
our
evening
together
and of course our amazing night.  I hope you can forgive me for not telling you the entire truth, because
I
can’t imagine never seeing you again
.

Love,

Ryan

My heart pounded in my chest as
I finished reading
his letter
, and a flurry of
conflicting
emotions rushed through me.  He had a fiancé
e
.  An ex-fiancé
e
, but he’d been there
in San Francisco
because of her
. 
Why didn’t he tell me last night
when I’d asked why he was
t
here
?  Why
did he tuck a letter
explaining everything
into my suitcase
?  He must have
written
it while I showered
and dressed
this morning.
 
But h
ow could he have made love to me again and again, kissed me so passionately, without sharing that
part
of his life? 
I sank down onto my bed, trying to collect my thoughts. 
I guess that goes to show why you shouldn’t have one-night-stands.  Although I felt an amazing connection with Ryan, I really didn’t know him at all. 
I wasn’t sure how I felt about him taking this trip
because
of another woman and then spending the night in my bed.  Had
he
forgotten all about her at that point?  Was
I just a substitute for someone he could never have
?
  He’d held me so close this morning
that
it felt like he never wanted to let me go.
  Was he just wishing that he was with her?