Utterly Devoted (2 page)

 “There she is.” Eleanor nodded toward the ballroom floor as Jareth felt his shoulders tense. “Miss Watkin just finished making her bows to Lady Jersey,” she continued. “Look, there’s Lord Nathaniel leading her onto the floor. You should be able to catch her when she completes the set.”

Jareth gazed in the direction she indicated. At least twenty couples stood in the line, but he sighted Eloise easily. He caught his breath.

Her midnight hair was swept back from her oval face to fall in ringlets down her back. The high-waisted gown of emerald silk revealed the alabaster of her shoulders and neck and draped the curves of her body in graceful folds. He did not have to be closer to know that her eyes were a vivid shade of green, intriguingly slanted, and masked by lustrous black lashes. He could remember those eyes all too well—alight with pleasure, deep with passion.

He was more afraid of what those eyes would show now. Would he see anything but contempt once he mustered his courage and asked her pardon?

Chapter Two

Eloise Watkin smiled at Lord Peter Nathaniel as she passed the young viscount shoulder to shoulder in the dance. By the look of admiration in his soft brown eyes, she had him. Perhaps Cleo was right: he would make an offer before the week was out.

“Smitten,” her friend the young marchioness had proclaimed only yesterday when they had returned from a fortnight’s house party at the Nathaniel family estate outside London. “He danced attendance on you every moment. Everyone remarked on it.”

Eloise could not argue there. She knew when she was the object of gossip; tongues had wagged far too often about her for her to ignore it. However, she had to own that it was novel to find the gossip pleasant in nature.

It was also rather satisfying. She had worked hard the last year to shed the bitterness and the fear that had once plagued her. She had determined to be a woman of character. It was rewarding to find that London Society seemed to like that woman as much as she did. While she wasn’t willing to concede that Lord Nathaniel was utterly devoted to her, she was willing to agree that he appeared quite taken. A shame that that fact did not thrill her as much as it did Cleo.

Lord Nathaniel squeezed her hand as she took his for a promenade, and she chided herself on her attitude. Any young lady on the ton should be pleased to attract his regard. He was gentle, thoughtful, and endlessly polite. He was also wealthy, titled, and possessed of a good family. His short brown hair curled endearingly around a cherubic face. His physique was manly, if a bit on the heavy side. He always dressed with restraint. No one, she was sure, would find fault with his camel-colored coat of wool superfine or buff pantaloons. Even his white cravat was simply tied.

She was pleased he had sought her out. His family was known for having exacting standards when it came to the qualifications of brides. Indeed, she had never quaked quite so much as when she had been presented to his mother last week. But Lady Nathaniel had been as gracious as her son. Surely the fact that they accepted her was proof that she had finally achieved respect among the members of the ton.

Cleo was just as certain. “You are making your mark at last,” she had told her earlier as they waited for Cleo’s husband, the Marquis of Hastings, to escort them to Almack’s. “I cannot tell you how delighted I am that you have put that reprehensible Jareth Darby out of your mind.”

Eloise had merely smiled. Truth be told, if Cleo knew how often she thought of Jareth Darby, her friend would surely despair.

It was difficult to forget the first man she had ever loved, even more so because he had forsaken that love. His attentions had seemed so romantic then. Even now, there were moments she found Viscount Nathaniel sadly lacking in comparison. Of course, the chivalrous viscount was also far less likely to trample her heart. She should apply herself to the task of cementing her place in his affections.

She followed him through the pattern of the dance, fluttering her lashes from long practice and casting him covert glances from the corner of her eyes. With an odd number of couples in the line, she knew that she and Lord Nathaniel would have to take a turn at standing out. When they stepped aside, she smiled brightly at him.

“I so enjoy our time together, my lord,” she confided, gazing at him from under her lashes.

His smile was warm. “As I do, Miss Watkin. And may I say that you dance divinely?”

She kept her smile to herself as she made a circle with the toe of her green kid slipper on the polished wood floor, knowing the movement drew attention to her long legs. “You are too kind, my lord.”

“Not at all.” His assurance was fervent. “Rarely have I seen anyone so poised. Many young ladies show an inappropriate passion for the dance.” He nodded down the set to where Lady Thomas DeGuis was laughing as her doting husband swung her to the left.

Eloise felt a slight chill and wished for the paisley shawl she had brought with her. She forced herself not to be so common as to rub her arms where they were bared between her long gloves and the cap sleeves of her satin gown.

“You cannot compare my feeble skills to those of Lady DeGuis,” she told the viscount. “Besides, surely passion such as hers should be praised.”

“Yes, I had heard that her efforts for the unfortunate here in London are tireless,” he allowed, eying the lady in question thoughtfully before returning his gaze to Eloise. “As are yours, I believe. Did I not hear that you are assisting her?”

Eloise smiled. “For the last few weeks. I find her work admirable and was lucky that we shared a mutual acquaintance in Lord Hastings. I prevailed upon him to introduce us. He is a great admirer of the lady as well.”

“Some ladies should be admired,” he murmured, taking her hand for a quick kiss. Eloise willed the caress to thrill her, but instead the only emotion she felt was a minor satisfaction. She allowed him to return her to the dance.

But though she danced with her usual flair, she found herself repeating his words in her mind. He admired her. Lord Hastings admired her. Lady DeGuis admired her. It appeared that the entire ton thought her worthy of admiration.

How would they react if they knew the truth?

The thought was completely unwelcome. She brought her foot down so firmly that Lord Nathaniel raised his brows. He could not know why she had to deal with such thoughts as firmly as she’d stamped her foot. She would not be ruled by fear any more than she’d once allowed herself to be ruled by passion.

She knew the consequences of the choice she’d made all those years ago. Though a married woman might carry on any number of affairs if she were discreet, an unmarried woman of London Society could not admit to an indiscretion without forfeiting her future. That was why her romance with Jareth Darby remained a closely guarded secret.

As far as she knew, only four people other than herself knew of her past. Cleo was her dear friend and would have died rather than breathe the secret to a soul. Her husband had become a friend and ally as well; Eloise knew she could count on Leslie Petersborough, Lord Hastings, to remain silent. Miss Martingale, headmistress of the Barnsley School for Young Ladies, had already proven she wanted no one to know that one of her charges had been less than chaste. That left only the villain of the story, Jareth Darby, and he was safely in exile on the Continent.

Determined to capture the future she desired, she smiled and flirted and danced with ladylike restraint for the remainder of the set. Her performance must have been particularly convincing, for, as soon as the dance ended, Lord Nathaniel implored her to join him on a stroll about the hall. She glanced across the room to where Cleo was engaged in conversation with her husband and several others. Her friend would not miss her. She accepted his offered arm and they set off.

Along the edges of the dance floor, any number of sofas and alcoves allowed the fashionable to converse. The first group they passed contained Lady Jersey, their hostess for the evening. The queen of London Society nodded in greeting as they passed. Eloise smiled in satisfaction.

“Particularly lovely weather for this time of year,” Lord Nathaniel commented politely.

“Oh, decidedly,” she said with more enthusiasm than the tired subject warranted. They passed a group of dowagers who smiled at them with approval. Eloise raised her head.

They passed another group, this one of young people who talked and laughed, animated, carefree. One of the young men raised a lady’s hand to his lips in tribute, and she gazed at him raptly. Eloise swallowed.

Suddenly a laugh turned to a shriek, and one of the ladies darted away from the group, directly into Eloise’s path. She recognized Portia Sinclair, who was on her first Season.

Lord Nathaniel stopped with a frown, but Portia seemed heedless of his presence. Her attention was all for the young, dark-haired Major Churchill in dress regimentals, who had followed her from the group. She tossed her red-gold hair and swung a quizzing glass from her short fingers, daring him to retrieve it. When he reached for it, she slid it deftly down the tight bodice of her white muslin gown, then laughed at the look of chagrin on his handsome face.

“A sorry showing,” Lord Nathaniel murmured as he detoured around her. “I believe Miss Sinclair grows more shocking with each ball.”

Eloise glanced back and saw that Portia and the major were in deep conversation. Indeed, it was as if they had forgotten anyone else was in the room. She had been just as besotted. She shook her head. “Surely her activities can be ascribed to nothing more than high spirits.”

“You are being kind, Miss Watkin. You see only the good in people.”

Would that that were so
, she thought. In truth, it was all too easy for her to suspect the worst of everyone she met. “I am merely speaking from my own experience,” she assured the viscount. “I was much like her, once.”

“Never say so,” he replied, pressing her hand on his arm. “I will not believe you were ever anything but perfect, Miss Watkin.”

 “You are too kind, my lord,” she returned, but somehow his praise did not warm her.

They passed two more groups before Lord Nathaniel spoke again. “Will you be receiving callers later this week, Miss Watkin?”

She blinked, but quickly recovered her poise. Was this what she had waited for? “Certainly, Lord Nathaniel,” she assured him. “I hope I shall always be home to you.”

“Now you are too kind,” he murmured. He paused, and she was forced to stop as well. He gazed warmly down at her. “I hope you know, Miss Watkin, that I hold you in the highest esteem.”

His voice positively trembled with emotion, and Eloise could not help but be touched. He truly was a worthy fellow. “I hope you know, my lord,” she replied, “that I highly esteem you as well.”

His look grew even warmer, and she thought that if they had not been in Almack’s, he might have kissed her. She felt a momentary flutter at the thought. He did not seem to notice, merely squeezing her hand with fervor before turning her back the way they had come.

“I should return you to your friends,” he said.

She was ready to agree when she saw him.

Along the wall in the direction they were moving, stood Jareth Darby, staring at her. The man and woman at his side were staring as well, but Eloise barely noticed them. She could not take her eyes from Jareth. He looked much as she still pictured him, tall, lean, confident, platinum-haired, and devilishly handsome. She could not seem to take in more. Indeed, all coherent thought had fled. She must have hesitated, for Lord Nathaniel’s grip on her arm tightened as if in support.

“Is something wrong, Miss Watkin?” he asked.

She shook her head, more to clear the apparition than to answer him. The dance ended, and couples parted. People passed her, intent on securing new partners. When she could see down the wall again, the tall, elegant woman stood alone. The devil had fled with Eloise’s composure.

She let out her breath. Was this some dream of her feverish brain? He could not be in London. Surely she would have heard. No, more likely her thoughts of matrimony had conjured him. It was a sign of her uncertainty in the future, nothing more. All perspective brides were allowed second thoughts.

“I am fine,” she assured Lord Nathaniel. “Perhaps just a bit winded from the dance.”

“Quite understandable. Shall I procure you a glass of lemonade?”

The thought of being alone was suddenly terrifying. She glanced about but saw no sign of Cleo or Leslie. She clutched at his arm. “No, that is unnecessary. If we could find a seat?”

“Of course.” He paused to glance around the room. “Ah, yes, I see a free sofa directly opposite.”

She followed his gaze and gasped. Standing beside the sofa, resplendent in his coat and breeches of blue velvet, was Jareth Darby. He must have noticed her staring, for he made her a bow.

“Do you see him?” she asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“See whom?” Lord Nathaniel asked.

The crowds milled and parted again. The space beside the sofa was empty.

A laugh bubbled out of her, sounding hysterical to her. “Apparently no one. Perhaps I need that lemonade after all. My mouth is suddenly quite dry.”

“Your servant, madam.” He bowed over her hand and strode across the floor, to be quickly swallowed up in the crowd going toward the refreshments.

Alone, she wrapped one arm about her waist. What was wrong with her that she conjured ghosts? Did some part of her not believe she deserved a kind, considerate husband like Lord Nathaniel? She thought she had stamped out those fears and self-doubts. She had earned her place in Society. She had prayed, reformed, done good deeds to atone. She had been accepted. She refused to lose that acceptance now and by her own imagination.

She forced herself to drop her hold and stand tall. A gentleman passing raised a quizzing glass for a better look at her. She smiled radiantly and was rewarded to see the fellow actually stumble. Yes, she still had power over the gentlemen. It was her newfound honor that kept her from using it to the full as she once had. Surely Lord Nathaniel saw her as a lady.