Use Somebody (62 page)

While I was wallowing in my own self pity, Vance sat up and took hold of me. He waited until I looked him in the eye.

“Lay back,” he instructed in a manner that shot straight to my core.

He slowly rolled me backwards. I lowered myself obediently, and he followed until I was lying beneath him, my head at the foot of the bed.

“You need an escape, Scarlett Rose?” He said, holding himself above me on two bent arms. His hips fitted flush against mine. I just blinked up at him with subservient eyes. “Then that’s exactly what you’ll get.” And with a deliciously soft but determined expression, he leaned down and kissed me.

It wasn’t wild and fervid like I thought I needed, but it was just as passionate. Sweet. Somber. Perfect. I clutched him to me, absorbing a little bit of his strength. His warmth. His taste. Taking everything I could. Already I was starting to feel the tension inside me subside.

His lips worked over mine slowly. Languidly. Warm and familiar. One hand brushed aside my hair and caressed my cheek. The way he touched me, so tender and loving, began to ease some of the ache. He devoted all of his attention to soothing me, sparing no expense.

His hand migrated lower, grazing down my chest to where the top of my shirt still hung half-open. Never breaking our kiss, he slipped his hand inside and massaged me over my bra.
Yes
. I moaned, ever so softly, and arched up to him.
More.
His palm gave the perfect amount of pressure. His fingers, just the right about of ministrations. His thumb grazed teasingly over the swells.
Yes
. I moaned again, and he repeated.

After I was more than ready, he slowly peeled my bra down, took me in both hands, and lowered his mouth.
Yes!
The gentle sucking and flicks of his tongue soon had me writhing beneath him. First one breast, then the other, then back, before either had the chance to feel bereft.

With his innate ability to read my body, he knew exactly what it needed. The sheets were clenched in tight little fists as he worked me into a frenzy. Little by little, he was erasing the desperation I felt. I was becoming genuinely aroused.

He shifted to lay by my side. My breathing started to pick up when his hand moved lower again. Electric sparks shot straight through my entire body until every last nerve ending went up in flames. His skin felt so warm against mine, both soothing and stimulating to my system. The pad of his thumb circled my belly button and played with the metal piercing there.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he murmured, “Every time you make that sound I can’t help myself.”

In response, I could only moan again.

At last, his hand dipped below my waist. I was unbuttoned, unzipped and almost bare within two blinks. That’s when my heart really began to pound. This was un-trekked territory for Vance and me. I hadn’t been touched like this in so long, and I was equal parts excited and nervous.

Sensing my unease, he took his time. His lips returned to my mouth to calm me with his kiss. His fingertips started out with achingly slow strokes up and down each thigh, sensual and soothing, gliding along my smooth skin all while we kissed.

Just when I settled into the pattern, his fingers brushed lightly over the apex of my legs between a pass. Every touch after that left a scorching trail in its wake. All the way down each thigh, pulling apart each knee. The anticipation built every with every caress of my skin, and peaked each time I felt him through the thin cotton,
there.

When it hit me this was really going to happen, the nervousness returned at full force. Was I really ready?

This was it. The last bit of innocence I possessed. The virtue I’d put on a pedestal my entire life. The reason I had endured years of teasing and shunning. I was about to throw away everything I’d observed, everything I knew was right for me, and abandon the dream to be different… all for one night of comfort.

Was this really what I wanted, or was it just reckless?

I couldn’t bring myself to regret that my first time would be with Vance. But suddenly it all seemed too rushed. Our relationship was complicated enough without adding sex into the mix. And he had wanted to hold off almost as much as me. Was he right, would this only hurt us both when I left? Could I live with myself for wounding him further?

I couldn’t think clearly with his hands on me. Now would be a great time to shut off my brain altogether. But even my body tightened, knowing it wasn’t ready. I wasn’t sure we could go through with this. Except how could I back out after the way I begged him?

Sensing my apprehension, he broke our kiss to search my face. His eyes were so understanding and patient, I was reminded of something Gwen said the night they all found out—that Vance looked at me like the wanted to give me the moon. He was giving me that very same look again. His fingers lightly touched the cotton right over my core, sending little electric shivers through my system.

“Just this,” he answered my unspoken question. My eyes were trapped in his gaze. “We’re going to do this my way. Just this tonight, okay?”

Oh. Okay. Just his hand. I’d done that before.
I nodded, relaxing a little.

He leaned down to kiss me again. Slowly and sweetly. The movement of his mouth matched the pace of his fingertips, alternating between light circles and long, slow strokes.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my fingers in his thick hair and tugging whenever the feeling peaked. Each time his fingers rubbed an extra-sensitive spot, my hips raised, seeking the source of pleasure.
Oh, yes.
Hips, lips, hands, fingers. I was overcome in the symphony of sensations. He had my whole body dancing to the sensual rhythm that he set.

He seemed so controlled and perfectly paced. I kept wondering if he was going to dip underneath the final layer and switch to the fast and clumsy petting I’d experienced in the past. And don’t get me wrong, that had felt good, too. But it was nothing like
this.
If he only focused on these little circles for another year or two, I’d be in paradise.

It put all my previous experience to shame. Maybe it was just because I was with Vance, and he knew how to work my body because he was already attuned to my mind. Our connection made it so much more intimate and pleasurable than anything I’d ever experienced before.

Oh, yes!
My inhales and exhales came in rapid succession. A pulling sensation drew everything directly into my center. I was melting into a little puddle, and he hadn’t even made direct contact.

Something inside me started to quicken, a heat building from deep within and slowly expanding in all directions. I had to break away from his perfect mouth and throw my head back against the end of the bed while I gasped for air in harsh pants.
Holy wow
, I had never been this turned on in my life.

Vance began covering my neck with warm, wet kisses while his deft fingers increased their pressure and speed where I needed it most. Talk about sensory overload.

Oh, yes!!!
A moan flew directly into his ear. I never even made the decision to moan—my body was just releasing them on its own now. In response Vance’s breath accelerated on my neck. We breathed into each other. Just the heat of it curled my toes. Turning me on was turning him on, and vice versa.

The tips of my fingers were tingling with a fuzzy numbness. My limbs were starting to quake. What was happening to me? Whatever it was, it was nuclear.

“Eyes open, Scarlett.”

I opened my eyes and met his gaze. So handsome. So loving. So loyal. How could I have known him this long without realizing how absolutely magnificent he was? The closeness of our relationship far surpassed anything I’d ever felt before. This was me… falling for the best friend I’d ever known.

In the scariest time of my life, in my most unlovable moments, he had been here. He had been real. He had been the perfect love. I just never understood its true meaning until this moment.

“I can’t change the stars for you; all I can do is love you. And I think that will be enough. You don’t have to be alone anymore. You just need to let me in.”

In that moment, everything was clear.

This thing between us was more than just physical. It had been for a long time. I’d fooled myself into thinking we could compartmentalize our relationship into my friend and my lover. But they weren’t separate. They were one and the same.

Not breaking our eye contact, I nodded swiftly, a wordless agreement. I wanted it all… I wanted him. In every capacity.

At last, he swept underneath the final layer and thrust two fingers up inside me, causing my whole body to convulse. His careful control seemed to slip once he felt me. The pressure of his thrusts and simultaneous rubbing increased with his ragged breathing. From his throat erupted a low, agonized groan.

Overwhelmed, he leaned down but instead of kissing me, he sank his teeth into my shoulder until I cried out. My eyes fell shut and my mouth hung open in a scream of pleasure and pain.

My breath hitched. My thighs trembled. My insides quivered uncontrollably. I was losing my grip on reality. I was teetering at the edge of a precipice.

“Now Rosie,” he entreated. “Let me in.”

So I did.

It hit me with the power of thunder and lightning. A force so strong I had no choice but to surrender. Wave after wave of earth-shattering pleasure crashed over me in an explosion of shudders, ecstasy, and shooting stars. It was all-consuming. It was everything. It was a glimpse of heaven. Nothing existed outside of Vance and this incredible feeling he was giving me. Nothing.

He leaned in to kiss me hard on the mouth, swallowing the primal sounds protruding from my throat. I kissed him back as if he were hiding the last bit of oxygen I needed before succumbing to asphyxiation. My entire body pulsated, unable to sit still against the onslaught of sensations. His persistent fingers and his lips kept me at the brink of rapture for almost longer than I could handle.

Finally, the glorious burn inside me slowly ebbed. My wild cries returned to soft whimpers. My hands unclenched the thick tuffs of hair that were miraculously still attached to his scalp. His kisses and touches became soft again, letting me ride out the very last little aftershocks of pleasure.

My head fell back against the mattress as I came down and tried to catch my breath, completely and thoroughly spent. And Vance took full advantage, showering me in kisses over my face and neck and breasts.

“What…” I panted. “What was that?” This was definitely the first time
that
had ever happened to me. I’d felt pleasure before. One time I’d even been asked if I had gotten off. I had shrugged and said yes. Because it felt good. But I didn’t realize it was supposed to feel like
that
. That it could be so distinct, so intense.

He chuckled and placed a single kiss to the little hollow dip in my collarbone. “That… was release.” Then he rolled us so he was lying on his back, and I was curled into his side, using him as a pillow, every muscle lax.

As my heart rate slowed, I curled my toes and enjoyed the lingering tingles that had taken over every inch of my skin. It felt like floating in a sea of fluffy clouds, basking in the warm sunlight. And I could not wipe the blissful grin off my face if I tried. In contrast to the devastating emptiness I was feeling all night, I had done a full one-eighty and became the most at peace I had been in a long, long time.

“That,” I sighed, content, “was exactly what I needed.”

After several minutes of lying together, I lowered my hand in an attempt to return the favor. I wanted him to feel what he made me feel. It was too good not to share. I didn’t have much to offer, but I could give him this.

He stopped me and entwined our fingers, saying he was just content to hold me tonight.

“You don’t have to do that, Rosie.”

“I know,” I said, returning his gaze. “I want to.”

And I did. Not because I felt pressured, or vindictive, or bored, or needed an escape. For once I just wanted to do something unselfish, to give something back, to make him feel good for a moment in the middle of unadulterated chaos.

I wanted to be the one to please him.

He watched me warily. I could feel his conflict in the way he held tight to my wrist, yet didn’t hold me in place. I teased the rim of his jeans, dipping my fingers inside only slightly and gliding them back and forth over his taut stomach and through the soft trail of hair.

“Please,” I said, until I paused at his button again, and this time he didn’t stop me.

I fully expected him to still be hesitant, but all his resolve seemed to crumble the moment my flesh touched his. His breath hitched, and I felt a heady rush of power.

“Holy smokes,” I whispered.

“What?” he asked, breathless. “Something wrong?”

I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I shook my head then murmured, “Nope. Nothing even remotely wrong here.” My smile broadened when my words made him twitch.

Good gracious I loved the way his perfect body responded to mine.

At last, there it was… the look of pure euphoria on his face. As I got to work he fell back with a soft groan, eyes closing in ecstasy.