Until You Believe Me (16 page)

"Oh baby girl I am so happy for you. He loves you so much. Any man willing to stay by you and talk to you for three days straight while you were unconscious is a keeper in my opinion." She hugged me to her and openly wept. After she was done hugging me she hugged Connor for all she was worth.

"You are a good man, son. I know you will take good care of my daughter.

"Yes ma'am. Without her my life isn't worth living."

"Mine either." My mother finally pulled away and wiped her eyes. "This house is beautiful darling. You did such a nice job fixing it."

After I had given my mom a tour and she gushed more about how great Connor was she left and went home. It was almost dark and Connor helped me into the car to head home.

I was not surprised when he pulled into the driveway at his house. We slowly ambled up the front steps and in the front door. Connor ran back outside as I sat on the couch. I hadn't had this much exercise in awhile and I was very quickly losing steam.

Connor came in with a few of my duffel bags full of, I assumed, clothes and such.

"Your mom packed them for you. Told me that if you weren't going to her house you were to stay with me."

"Did she pack work clothes? What am I going to do about work. Oh lord, what have they been doing about my classes?" Suddenly reality hit me pretty hard.

"Tomorrow is Friday and I'm taking the day off. Your classes have been taken care of both tomorrow and the rest of the semester. Don't argue, it's not going to change anything, so just hush and give me a kiss." I begrudgingly kissed him on the cheek.

"Connor, I know you don't fully understand this, but I have to work to survive. I need money to pay my bills, pay for my car, my house."

"Ye of little faith. I pay bills too you know. You will be fine. As soon as you give me the go-ahead I"ll have my real estate agent put your house up for sale, that money will be yours of course. Don't worry about anything else. Enjoy some time off and you still have to get back to 100%."

He leaned in and kissed my forehead before he walked toward the kitchen. "What do you want to eat?"

Connor made us sandwiches and we ate on the couch. We talked about the house and the plans that we had in regards to it.

"You tell me when you want to be in by and it will be done. I'd leave tomorrow if that's what you want."

"What will you do with this place?" This house had memories of how I grew to fully know Connor, I almost was scared to lose those memories.

"I haven't decided. I suppose I'll sell it. There's no reason to keep it."

"Won't your dad be mad?"

Connor shrugged. "He doesn't know who I am most of the time, I doubt he will miss this place."

"I'm sorry, that was a stupid question."

Connor shook his head. "It's ok Madison. I've accepted what the rest of his life, and mine with him is going to be like. I don't know that I'll ever get used to it, but I've accepted it."

"Can we go see him tomorrow?" I asked. I was sure Connor had been so wrapped up with me that he hadn't spent the time he felt he should have with his father.

"Anything you'd like baby."

"Would you like to?" Connor smiled, and grabbed my hand.

"Yes ma'am. Now we need to get to you bed. You need extra rest. And I am utterly excited to wake up next to you in a house, not a hospital."

I didn't have a chance to stand up. Connor picked me up and carried me to the bedroom, both of us laughing the whole way.

Chapter 19

             
The next couple weeks passed quickly. Between the moving and the never-ending interviews with police I felt tired, more tired than I had ever been in my life. Connor and I accomplished much in that time though. We had moved everything into the new house, and I spent my days organizing and putting stuff together while Connor worked. It was difficult not working. I know a lot of people dread going to work in the mornings and some days I did too, but not working sometimes made me depressed. I sat home all day, cleaning, which was fine, but with no interaction. Twice a week Ben stopped by on his way home, and I had my mother to talk to when she called.

             
I was unpacking a box when I heard my phone chirping from the kitchen. I was surprised to see it was Ben calling, which was strange since it was the middle of the day.

             
"Ben?"

             
"Madison, you're literally going to die. I have news for you but I can't tell you over the phone." His voice was excited and he was speaking quite quickly.

             
"Gina the good witch came back?"

             
"Shut up. She's old news. Which by the way you need to meet Destiny. I think you'll like her."

             
"Is that her stage name?" I asked, barely holding in my laugh.

             
"I swear I don't even know why we're friends. I really am abused on a daily basis by you and your judgmental cattiness. I can't help I'm a stud that young, hot, in-touch with their sexual prowess females want to feel all over. I don't comment on who you're shacking up with."

             
"I don't volunteer my every encounter."

             
"Even if you did, I wouldn't comment."

             
"Good, I'd prefer you didn't."

             
"I thought you'd be a lot nicer when you were getting laid, you're the only one in the world who becomes meaner with habitual sex. Unless old Matthews isn't giving it up, or worse, he sucks."

             
"I didn't realize you could use the word sucks without turning into a melty puddle of hormones, you've truly grown Ben. But I assure you Connor does 'give it up' as you say, and it is beyond anything your harlots can do." I reflected on that statement for a moment. I was more than satisfied with Connor, especially in that department. I had admittedly had a rocky introduction into the world of sex, and had since travelled to a deep dark place, but Connor made me feel so loved and safe that I felt like I was a whole new person when it came to sex.

             
"I doubt he is double-jointed, that's all I'll say. But I digress, I'm coming over after work. I have something huge to tell you."

             
"Well, I'll be here. I'm always here." I realized I was being petty, I was so happy when Connor was home, but I was lonely during the day.

             
"Trophy house wife isn't cutting it already? You're in for a long road ahead of you babe. Next I'll see you on Lonely Housewives of Rural Florida, you might even be missing some teeth by then. That makes for some good TV you know. Even if you have to use some black licorice to make it look like a hole. Shit, I'm late. I'm off to 13th graders, see you later!" With that he hung up.

             
Sometimes talking to Ben made me feel like I had been scooped up by a tornado and turned every which way. Together we were kind of a weird yin and yang. He was the disorder to my order. Whatever he was, I was excited to see him and the thought of company brought my energy level back up and I unpacked like a maniac.

             
I had just emptied another box as the timer on the oven went off. I had put in some chicken for dinner and the oven so nicely notified me that it was preheated. As I put the pan in the oven my phone rang. I couldn't help but smile when I saw Connor's name and picture on the screen.

             
"I haven't heard from you all afternoon. Are you on your way home?"

             
"I wish. We've run into a few problems down here. We're waiting on someone from the city for some plumbing issues. This residence hall will be the death of me. I was just calling you to say I'll be awhile. I'm so sorry." He sounded frustrated and exhausted and it pained my heart to hear it. I however bolstered my voice so that I would not sound as disappointed as I felt.

             
"Well I hope it goes more smoothly for you. I'll make you up something for dinner and put it in the fridge. I love you."

             
"I love you too Madison. I'll be home as soon as I can. I promise. Bye sweetheart." He hung up and I felt sad. I knew he was busy and I knew how many things could go wrong and that he was responsible for taking care of it, but I hated not having him here. I sighed and resigned myself to the couch with a glass of wine.

             
It wasn't long before I heard a car in the driveway and set down my magazine and met Ben at the door. He was all smiles and walked past me into the house.

             
"I literally am going to burst if you don't look at this. Hurry up and open it." Ben handed me an envelope that had clearly seen better days. The back was clearly tore up, but had been taped shut again. My name was typed on the front of the envelope.

             
"Isn't it a federal offense to open someone else's mail?" I slide my finger under the tape on the back.

             
"Shut up and open it. You're killing me."

             
I opened the envelope and opened the typed letter that was inside.

             
Dear Ms. Branson,

             
We would like to thank you for your application to join our Graduate Studies program here at the university. We are pleased to inform you that we believe you are the best candidate for the job. In the time you have spent with us we have seen your dedication, commitment and work ethic shine through. It is with great honor that we wish to offer you the English Graduate Studies position. You will receive information as the summer semester progresses.

             
Congratulations and thank-you for applying.

             
"Ben, you're joking. This is addressed to me." I felt light headed and so excited I could barely stand."

             
"Mad, you got it. They want you. You get to teach real English to real kids." Ben sat with me on the couch.

             
"Wait, I didn't apply. I never finished my application. I was working on it when...when everything happened and it never crossed my mind again." I was bewildered. I would have swore that's what I was working on that night.

             
"I know. Once the police were done scouring your office I went in to grab something and saw your application on your desk. I finished filling it out. I found your resume on your computer and printed it. I wrote a cover letter. I told them it was from me. I figured it's the least they could do was look at it given that you were unable to get it in on your own."

             
I looked at Ben and I wanted to cry. He was such a good friend to me, and so thoughtful. I was truly blessed.

             
"Ben, I can't even begin to explain to you what it," I couldn't speak. The tears were brimming in my eyes and I knew my voice was weak. He scooted closer to me on the couch and hugged me to him.

             
"I know Madison. I'd never let that asshole ruin another opportunity for you. You deserved a fighting chance. I told you before, I won't lose you to him again. I don't care if I do it alone, I'll hold you together."

             
I sobbed against his shoulder. I sobbed for how much I cared about him and how much he cared about me. I sobbed for the happiness I had from the two men who I loved so much. Both of whom I felt safe and content and blessed to have around. I sobbed for what I had lost. I had grieved very little for what had happened. I pretended like the dark place that I retreated to that night didn't exist. Almost as if it was a nightmare. I tried to smother it anytime it tried to surface. I tried not to wonder why me? Ben was right, I couldn't and wouldn't let it break me again. This time I had everything in perfect harmony and had to hold on to that, not slip into the dark abyss.

             
I pulled away and sniffled. "Thank-you Ben. For the application and everything. I owe it to you."

             
"Don't even think about it. You would have done the same. That's why we're friends." He brushed my hair back and grabbed a tissue for my face.

             
I blotted at my eyes and cheeks. "Connor is working late. Do you mind staying for dinner?" I got up and walked to the kitchen to check my dinner.

             
"That sounds good. Your wine glass has mysteriously come up empty. You'll probably want a refill." Ben smiled as he walked into the kitchen.

             
"Wow, I must have been mighty thirsty." I pulled a glass from the cupboard and filled both glasses. I felt perfectly content as Ben and I sat for most of the evening, drinking, eating and talking.