Unspoken Memories (Unspoken Series) (26 page)

He folds his arms on top of the counter in front of him,
and then lays his head on them, facing in my direction. He still has sleepy
eyes and is constantly blinking himself awake. It’s hysterical to me that no
matter how tired he is, he’ll still wake up early in the morning to spend time with
me.

Beaming with pride, I proceed to make small talk, “So,
how are things with you and your girl?” I curiously want to know.

He sits there, quiet, without an answer, but his frown is
obviously answering the question for him.

I reach over to touch his shoulder. “Did you guys break
up again?” I know that their relationship could be compared to a Ping-Pong
game. They were always breaking up, and then making up.

He takes in a very deep breath before saying, “Yup, we
decided that maybe this time we should take a long enough break to let
ourselves see other people.” He ends the last of the sentence in a low whisper.

I sympathetically sigh, “Well, maybe this is a good
thing. I do think you guys should see other people. You never know, you might
end up finding the girl you really want to marry,” I plead.

He lifts up his head while shaking it. “No Em, she’s the
one I plan to marry. I love her, she owns my heart and no matter how hard
someone else tries, they’ll never get it. I promise you Em, she’s the one, and
if it takes me giving her time to realize it then I’ll just have my fun while I
wait,” he says, shrugging his shoulder.

My heart sinks a little knowing he’s jumping to
conclusions about the whole situation, but not wanting to be judgmental. “Are
you sure that’s what you want?”

He nods his head. “Yeah. I’ve already decided that’s what
I want to do.” He finally perks up, “Don’t worry Em, I’ll be careful. You’re
not going to unexpectedly become an aunt. She’s the only one who is going to be
popping out your nieces or nephews when the time comes.” He smiles.

I hold out my arms to embrace him and upon wrapping
himself to my body I say, “Whatever makes you happy Matt, just remember that
I’m always here for you no matter what.” I squeeze him harder to emphasize my
meaning.

I feel someone place a hand on my shoulder and it draws me
from the memory. I don’t know how long I was blacked out, but as I take in
everyone’s expressions they don’t seem to realize that I was somewhere else. I
let go of Laura’s hand and fold my hands in front of my waist.

I see Trey finally make his way over to us saying. “Oh good,
Matt’s girlfriends are playing nice with each other. I thought I was going to
need Julio’s help in keeping supermodel here from pounding the lights out of
Laura.” He hooks his thumb in my direction.

All our heads snap to Trey’s and I give him my signature “I’m
going to kick your ass” look before Kelly whacks him on the arm.

“What did I say?” he asks totally confused and rubs his
shoulder.

“I’m sorry but I really have to go,” I say, looking down at
my phone to emphasize my point. “I have a meeting upstairs with Paul in 15
minutes.”

Matt looks torn between Laura and me. “Oh yeah. Is it okay
if you go alone to the meeting, Abigail? I want to catch up with Laura.” He
gives me a pleading look.

Even though I feel hurt right now with his plea, I know I
have to ignore my jealousy and trust Matt. “Sure, I’ll catch up with you later,”
I say to him, before turning to Laura to say, “It was a pleasure finally
meeting you.” I wave bye to her as I walk away.

She waves back, then turns to Matt and begins cheerfully
speaking to him. I hate the feeling that is boiling inside me as I’m walking
away from them. I have to force myself since I know that I’m leaving Matt with
the only girl he’s still harboring feelings for.

After my meeting with Paul to go over the security
clearances for Matt and Julio, and going over all the details needed about when
to arrive and how the race is run, I leave for my own hotel room taking time to
try to relax.

It’s been two hours since I left Matt and he still hasn’t
texted or called me and I’m starting to freak out. I kept checking my phone
during the meeting in hopes that Matt would have changed his mind, but I was
disappointed. Not knowing what the hell is going on, I finally force myself to
push the negative feelings aside, and we start planning where we are going for
dinner.

Finally choosing a restaurant on Fisherman’s Wharf, Trey
sends a text off to Matt to meet us there, but when we arrive he has a guest in
tow. Great, she’s even having dinner with us tonight. I tell myself to put my
big girl panties on and play nice. The last thing I need is to go ape shit on
her in the middle of a restaurant.

Kelly and Julio see the tension that is coursing through my
body and between the two of them they try to lighten me up. But seeing her
sitting next to Matt at our table drives me crazy. I want to know what is
really going on between them.

They look like old friends just catching up, but knowing
that this girl is the reason why Matt fought so hard to avoid another serious
relationship, only fuels my anger.

I try to carb load for my race the next day, but my appetite
was shot the minute I saw them walk in together. I want to go back to the hotel
already. I end up having two glasses of red wine that I know I shouldn’t have
had, but I desperately needed them. As I ordered the first glass in hopes that
it would help relax me, Matt tried reminding me that I had a race the next day,
but I ended up snapping at him to shove it. After the look I gave him, he
backed off, turning back to Laura to make conversation with her. Even the rest
of the table didn’t challenge me after that little scenario.

I ordered the second glass when I overheard Laura make a
comment to Matt that since I was a supermodel it must be normal for me to
always be so high strung. She even added that I must have been paying him
really well for him to put up with my attitude. It only pissed me off even more
when Matt didn’t defend me.

If it weren’t for Kelly grabbing my hand under the table
reassuring me of her support, I would have walked away from the table. I was
surprised with how well I was behaving about the situation. We finally wrapped
up dinner and I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. It looked like the hounds
of hell were trailing me. At this point, I was proving just how high strung I
could be, and I didn’t give a shit anymore. To say I was jealous of this girl
was a major understatement. I envied her. She owned something that I had wanted
since the day I met Matt. His heart. With all the attention he was giving her,
it was written all over his face how much she still had control over it.

We finally made it back to the hotel, minus Laura,
thankfully, because even
I
wouldn’t be able to control myself if she
would have followed. Once inside the hotel room I couldn’t control my temper
anymore, especially with the wine coursing through me, giving me the courage I
needed.

As I hear the door click behind the last person, I turn
around to face Matt. “So what the fuck is she to you now Matt? Are you guys
back together?” I shout at him.

Everyone freezes up with a look of shock and awkwardness,
not knowing whether to stick around for the show or walk away. But of course
they choose to stay and take in the show. At this point I don’t care if we have
the whole city watching us. I wanted an answer for him… right now… right at
this moment.

Matt’s eyebrows draw in and you can tell he’s trying really
hard to control his temper. “I don’t know what you’re talking about
Abigail
,”
he claims, standing his ground in front of me.

“Oh, so now we’re back to using
Abigail
again, are
we? Fine, I know where I stand when it comes to that shit, but I’m telling you
right now…
Matthew
. You better make up your fucking mind before you
board that plane tomorrow, because I’m keeping my part of the deal. I refuse to
become one of your fuck buddies, so… help… me… if you screw me over, I will
walk out of your life, and never look back,” I say as I stomp away from him,
into my chosen room. I slam the door behind me with all the force that I can
muster.

I lock the door right away and go straight to the bathroom
so I can take a shower. It’ll give me a reason to ignore anyone who tries to
knock on the door.

I stand under the streaming hot water for a very long time,
letting the heat of the water beating down on me take the tension away from my
body, wishing it would take me down the drain with it.

After a while I finally start washing up, knowing that I
have to get to bed. As I’m shaving my legs for the next day I notice something
on my inner left thigh, up very close to my vagina. It’s a reddish-purple mark.

My eyes go wide in shock when I realize what it is. It’s a
huge fucking hickey.

I groan in irritation, leaning against the cool tile of the
shower for support. I realize no matter how much I try to push him away, my
body will always have a way of knowing that it belongs to Matt. I’m fucking
screwed.

I WAKE UP the day of the race,
feeling physically and mentally like shit. I hadn’t gotten much sleep, both
from nerves and from thinking about the night before. I wanted so badly to go
to Matt and just curl up next to him, letting his arms take away the pain I was
feeling in my heart, but of course I didn’t. He was the reason why I was
feeling like this.

He didn’t try coming into my room either. I would have
expected him to try knocking on my door and pleading his case, but it didn’t
happen. Which worried me more. Instead, the hotel room ended up being very
quiet, leaving me to my thoughts for most of the night. The gang decided to go
out, where I do not know, I never asked. I did hear them walk back into the
room at around two a.m., probably from round two of Matt’s birthday weekend.

At around five a.m. I heard a knock at the door and although
I was expecting it, my body tensed up in anticipation of Matt.

I was surprised when I opened the door to see a sleep
deprived Kelly, who looked like she’d had another bad night. Letting her in, I
shut the door behind her.

“Hey sweetie, you ready for your big day?” she says to me
almost in a whisper. I know she’s doing it more for herself.

I chuckle and respond, “Not really, but I have no choice,
right?”

I begin to look for the outfit I had planned on wearing and
get dressed, while Kelly walks over to the bed and sits against the headboard.
Taking a pillow in her arms, she looks at me with an interested look. “What do
you mean you have no choice, I thought you wanted to do this?”

I automatically correct her analysis of my response. “I want
to run this race, but my body is not feeling so good right now. It actually
feels how you look,” I say, giggling at her.

She lets out a small groan. “Trust me, last night didn’t
help. We ended up going downstairs to the bar. I’m still paying for Friday
night, so I should have just stayed away,” she says, forcing a smile on her
face.

Her smile turns to a frown a couple of seconds later. “David
told me you took care of me Friday night. I never got a chance to thank you by
the way,” she says, tightening her arms around the pillow.

I walk over to the bed and sit in front of her, looking her
in the eyes. “You would have done the same thing if it were me, so you don’t
have to thank me at all.”

She looks down at her knees. “But I feel really bad about
interrupting what was happening between you and Matt,” she whispers. “I finally
remembered most of the night yesterday and I’m really sorry.”

My eyes go wide, wondering how in the world she remembered
what she saw, as wasted as she was. “I’m glad you interrupted us, if not, a lot
more would have happened, and I have a feeling I would have a lot more regret
than I already do this weekend.”

We both sigh and sit there looking at each other
sympathetically. I guess more for myself than anyone else.

“How far did it really go?” she asks with her mischievous
smile.

This makes me chuckle at her, knowing that she’s not going
to like my response. “The usual tease and feel,” I say to her, watching her
face turn to a scowl. “You sort of stopped us right as we were about to start
the act. I guess it’s not meant to happen if people keep interrupting us.”

Kelly throws her hands up in the air in exasperation and
groans again. “I swear, you guys dance around having sex like a pair of animals
trying to decide if they’ve found the right mate.”

I laugh at her analysis of Matt and me. Although she did
have a point about the animal part, every time Matt came near me my body
responded like a female in heat. Damn my traitorous body.

We both hear another knock on the door and I know who it is.
Since it wasn’t him the first time, it definitely has to be him this time, so I
get up to go open the door.

The first thing I notice about Matt as he walks in is that
he looks worse than Kelly, and I can tell he hasn’t had a shower. He’s wearing
only his basketball shorts and nothing else. That’s surprising since his normal
choice of sleepwear is usually only his boxer briefs. But as I take in his
smell, I scrunch my nose. He reeks of the alcohol leaving his pores. When he
sees me, his eyes become hooded as he takes in my body. He eyes me from head to
toe with a light smile.

Even in the condition that he’s in, my body instantly
responds and I want to run my hands all over his body. I tense up and keep my
hands on the door. I grip it for dear life, trying to keep myself from reaching
out to him. I look over at Kelly trying to distract myself as she’s standing up
from the bed. Her face lights up and she just smiles at me, as if she is
proving her earlier assessment of us.

Dammit.

Pushing my negative thoughts aside, I decide to head into
the living room instead, following Kelly. I notice Julio ready and reading the
newspaper at the breakfast bar with a cup of coffee and all the usual goodies
that I eat before a race.

He hears me walk in and looks up from his newspaper. “Matt
arranged for your breakfast to arrive early this morning so you’d have time to
digest it,” he says in an approving way.

“Of course he would, that’s his job, he’s my assistant,
remember?” I say sarcastically, taking a piece of toast with peanut butter on
it.

His face shows concern. “What’s really going on with the
both of you Abigail?” he bravely asks.

“I don’t know. I thought that he was over her and was
willing to give us a chance, and bam, she shows up, making him push me aside
for her.”

Julio tilts his head to the side, while folding the
newspaper. “Is that what you think he did? Push you aside?” he curiously asks.

I stop to take in his question. “Well, the kiss she gave him
when she saw him proved that she still has something simmering for him. I know
I wouldn’t go up to Bill and kiss him like that if I saw him again. Then he
blew off the meeting with Paul and brought her to dinner with us,” I say,
stating my case.

I sigh. “I don’t know. I just finally grew happy thinking
that we were going to take the next step, but I guess I jumped to conclusions.”

Julio’s face grows serious. “Look Abigail,” he begins, “I’m
a guy, and so I can at least tell you this. The way that boy is with you,
proves that you’re more than a casual fling. I think the both of you are too
afraid to admit your feelings for each other and it’s not helping in this
situation.”

I think back to the other night. “Julio, how much did you
see the other night?” I ask him.

He smiles. “Enough to know that you guys need to take care
of that craving soon before it drives you insane,” he says chuckling, and then
he corrects himself. “Don’t worry, I didn’t actually see anything, but you are
a very vocal girl when it comes to praising him,” he says before standing up.

I stand there blushing all over my body, straight down to my
toes.

As I’m finishing my breakfast, I notice Matt stepping out of
my room with only a towel wrapped around his waist, his body still a bit damp
from his shower. He walks over to his bag, picks it up and takes it back into
the room with him before he shuts the door again. I swear he must do these
things on purpose to torture me.

Great, all I want to do now is stomp my ass over to that
room, walk in, lock the door behind me, and prove to Matt that he doesn’t need
Laura anymore. But instead I sit there trying to calm the inferno of want
burning through my veins. No, I don’t need this shit today. I need to focus on
my run, that’s what is important right now.

An hour later, Matt, Julio, and I are piling into the
elevator heading downstairs to the start line. I know it’s going to be about an
hour of waiting around, then no more than another three to finish the race. We
leave the rest of the gang to catch up on their sleep. Right now I’m so jealous
of them. If it wasn’t for all the adrenaline and nerves coursing through my
body, I would be falling over next to them from lack of sleep.

As we near the VIP tent at the start line, I begin to get
excited and can’t wait to start and just get it over with. My nerves are
scattered everywhere so I start listening to music, hoping it will help calm
and relax me.

Usually I wouldn’t listen to music before a race, in fear
that I would run the battery down on my phone. Since I refuse to run without
music I chose to use a shuffle this time, so I won’t have the weight of my phone
on my arm. So here I was losing myself to the bass pounding in my ears.

It also helped to distract and shut out the eyes that were
staring at me as I waited around. I was standing in a tent with a bunch of
elite runners who do this for a living, but the only reason I was getting the
same treatment as them was because of my celebrity status. It made me feel like
I wasn’t worthy to stand here with them, so I needed to find a happy zone and
focus on that. I was here for my own purpose. I wanted to beat that three and a
half hour mark, and with these hills that San Francisco is famous for, I knew I
had a challenge ahead of me.

As it grew near the start time, the elite runners began to
exit the tent to go warm up and I followed to watch them line up. On the way,
Matt couldn’t resist giving me the usual advice for the race.

“Now remember, Abigail, you have to pace yourself. You’re
starting after the elite runners, in the second corral with very fast runners.
Don’t try to keep up with the starting racers’ pace, they always start off too
fast from the adrenaline and then burn out at the wall.” The wall being the
famous 20-mile mark I was not looking forward to.

“Remember to breathe and keep to yourself. The good thing is
since you’re starting early there won’t be too many people in front of you to
make your way around. This is an advantage to your time, which will help once
you hit those hills. Just remember, one step at a time when you’re taking the
hills. Don’t push yourself too hard, or you’ll burn out. Push your body
forward, like you practiced and be careful coming down them, you don’t want to
injure yourself going too fast.”

He looks around at the crowd. “Let yourself get lost in the
crowd cheering you on, it will help distract you, since I can’t be there with you,”
he says with a look of disappointment. “But, I’ll be waiting for you here at
the finish line as you cross it, so remember not to keep me waiting too long,”
he says with a smile.

I feel Julio touch my arm and begin to push me in the
direction of the start line. I give him one last hug, before thanking him for
training with him. Then I look over at Matt, and he also gives me a hug, but he
doesn’t let go of me right away. He just holds me tightly to his body, and says
into my ear, “Good luck, beautiful,” before kissing me below my ear, sending a
jolt through my body.

I hand Matt my phone as they both leave me to walk the rest
of the way by myself since they can’t actually stand with me in the line.
Instead, I see them make their way to the other side of the gates where I can
still clearly see them. I adjust my shuffle to my body, plugging in my
earphones, and start to lightly bounce in place, pumping myself up to start.

As I hear the first gunshot that signals the start for the
elite runners, I begin to get very nervous. After a couple of seconds, they
move my corral up and my nerves are streaming rapidly through my blood. Since
I’ve chosen to stay to the outside of the group, I’m closest to the crowd and I
begin to hear people saying my name, cheering me on. I can’t resist smiling and
it takes all my nerves away. I get my body ready and when I hear the gunshot, I
take off with my group.

We leave the start line, running through the streets that
are surrounded by the historic buildings of Union Square. We turn the corner of
Montgomery and Post, and the excitement of the crowd takes me away to another
world. It stays like this and I notice what Matt meant by the other runners
starting off fast. I can feel myself trying to push harder to keep up with
them, and it’s only the beginning.

As we hit mile four, I allow myself to slow down and take in
the scenic view of the ocean to my right. Even though they start to pull ahead
of me a little, I just keep myself focused on the music entering my ears and
distract myself as best as I can with the crowd lining the course.

It isn’t until after the fifth mile that I begin to feel the
first hill sneaking up on me. I knew it was fairly close to the beginning of
the course, but I don’t actually see it, so much as feel it under my feet as I
climb the elevation. My body starts to slow down from the force that I have to
put into placing one foot in front of the other. I simply follow Matt’s advice
and push my body to lean forward. Those damn training hills he put me through
have nothing on this sneaky bastard. At least I saw them up ahead as I was
running them and was prepared. This one sneaks up on your ass.