Unknown (19 page)

“I have an excellent memory,” Adam informed him. “And I quote, ‘
I’m a kinky little shit.
’ Care to explain that one?”

Paul snorted. “I could ask you the same question, having seen what’s contained in those boxes.”

Adam raised his hand. “Fair point. So in the spirit in which I mean to continue, I’ll go first, shall I?”

Paul nodded and then kicked himself. “Yes, please.” Sometime he forgot Adam couldn’t see him.

“What are you two up to down there?” Shane yelled. “You’re missing the fun. We’re all going swimming.”

It took a second or two for Paul to register that the engine had stopped.

Adam sighed. “Not exactly an activity I feel like participating in at the moment.”

Paul had another brainwave. “No, but we can talk up on deck. I know them, they’ll be in the water for a good while.” He smiled. “Besides, it’s about time I worked on my tan.”

Adam nodded. “Let’s do it.”

Paul went first, emerging into the strong sunlight, blinking. It was a beautiful afternoon. On deck the six men were busily stripping off their clothing. Paul got a glimpse of David’s gorgeous dragon tattoo spread out over his back, before he dove off the side into the sea.

“You go ahead,” he told the others. “Adam and I will stay on board.”

“Have fun,” Eric said with a grin and leaped out of the boat, creating a huge splash when he hit the water. One by one the others followed, and soon the sound of laughter and splashing filled the air.

Paul turned to Adam. “How d’you feel about getting some sun? I was going to strip off and lie on deck. There are plenty of towels if you want to join me. That is, if you don’t mind them seeing you when they get back on board.” From the little he knew about Adam, Paul didn’t think he’d be fazed about public nudity.

Adam smiled. “God, I can’t remember the last time I sunbathed. Good plan.” He put down his cane and the pair of them stripped off. Paul took two large towels from a locker and spread them out on the deck. Adam stretched out on the towel, turning his face toward to the sun. “Damn, that feels good. I always forget how great it feels to sunbathe in the nude.”

Paul had to agree. In the summer he often visited the nudist beach at Yaverland. On more than one occasion, he’d run into Mark and Sam down there on a Sunday. It was apparently a special place for them. He gazed at Adam’s nude form, glad for the absence of his friends. It would have been embarrassing to have had to explain away Paul’s erection.

How could I
not
be hard, lying next to… that?

He lay down on his own towel, wriggling until he was comfortable and trying not to stare at Adam. “Okay, where were we?”

Adam was quiet for a moment. “I suppose I should begin with the stuff about me that you wouldn’t find on Google.”

Paul snickered. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“You’ve seen the contents of those boxes, so there’s no point being coy. For about fifteen years I was a member of a BDSM club in London.” He paused. “I’m assuming here you know what I mean by BDSM.”

Paul cleared his throat. “That would be a yes.” He slid his hand down to palm his stiff dick. Adam’s nostrils flared and for one moment it crossed Paul’s mind that his boss knew exactly what he’d done. Heat raced through him.

Adam half-turned his head toward Paul. “I used to go there every weekend and sometimes midweek if I needed to… unwind.”

Several images flashed through Paul’s mind: Adam in a harness like the ones he’d seen; Adam wielding a whip; Adam with Paul stretched out over his knee, that large hand coming down hard onto his bare arse, the skin hot and tingly….

Shit.
Not now, brain, okay?

He cleared his throat. “Did you use all those… things?” Paul had to ask.

Adam chuckled. “‘Things’? Yes, yes I did. I was proficient with floggers, whips, canes, crops: you name it, I played with it. I performed demonstrations, I passed on my knowledge to those who wanted it. It was an important part of my life.”

Paul caught a quaver in Adam’s voice, a hint of some strong emotion, kept at bay. “Was?”

Adam sat up, his arms resting on his bent knees, hands dangling. “I’m not sure I can talk about it. It’s still feels too… raw.” He stared out to the bow, inhaling deeply.

“Then don’t,” Paul told him instantly. “Not if it hurts.”

Adam inclined his head toward Paul. “Perhaps I need to talk about it, though. Maybe that’s when I finally start to accept it’s a part of my life that’s over.”

Paul was upright in a flash. “Who says it has to be?”

There was Adam’s hand once more, stretching out, seeking Paul’s face. Adam cupped his cheek. “Paul, I was a Dominant. That carried certain responsibilities. It meant that when I was doing a scene with a submissive, I was taking in everything. How he looked, the sounds he made. Watching for any sign that he was in difficulty. Watching his reactions, keeping tabs on what was going on in his body, his mind. Using the knowledge I gleaned from that to steer his responses, his endorphins. He had to trust me implicitly. There had to be a connection between us, communication…. ” He shook his head and pulled away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to go on like that.”

Paul bit back a sigh at the loss of that hand, that unexpectedly gentle touch. “Don’t apologize.” He thought quickly how best to frame what was in his head. “I’d like to think you can talk to me about anything. I know we’ve had a few setbacks”—Adam snorted—“but that doesn’t mean we have to continue as before. Yes, I cook your meals, wash your clothes, and hopefully soon type up your books, but I can also be an ear for you when you need one.”

Adam remained silent for a moment, his head bowed. “Do you understand why I’m telling you this? How could I do all that when I couldn’t see? How can you be a Dom when you can’t fucking
see
?”

Oh God.
There it was, the secret pain that was eating away at Adam’s insides. It tore at Paul’s heart to hear the anguish in his voice. He ached to reach out and touch him, a simple gesture to let Adam know he wasn’t alone, that Paul felt for him.

It was such an incongruous moment, lying in the sun, surrounded by the happiness of his friends, and hearing pain in Adam’s voice, sharp and raw. He struggled to find words, anything that would give Adam hope.

“I don’t believe it’s over,” he said at last. “Okay, I get using whips and chains might be a thing of the past, but that doesn’t mean you’re through as a Dom. It means you need to do what you’ve
been
doing ever since you lost your sight—you adapt. You find a way to explore that part of yourself.”
Come on, Adam, hear what I’m saying, yeah?

Adam turned to face him, Paul seeing himself reflected in those dark glasses. “There you go again, showing me why you deserve my respect.” He gave a half-smile. “I think you’re amazing, Paul Vaughan.”

Warmth suffused his face and a tingling sensation crept across the back of his neck.

Adam tilted his head. “Enough about me. How about you tell me why you think you have a kinky side, before your friends get back on this boat?”

Paul wasn’t stupid. Adam didn’t want to talk about it anymore, not that Paul could blame him. Of course, that meant it was his turn.

Breathe, breathe….

“About four months ago I was in London, having a night out in Soho on Brewers Street, going from gay bar to gay bar. It was okay, a bit boring perhaps. When I met someone I’d hooked up with a few months previously, he asked if I wanted to go with him to a club. He hadn’t been there before, and he looked nervous about the prospect, to be honest, so I said yeah, why not?” He swallowed. “Turns out it was a BDSM club.”

“Ah. Your first time?”

“Yeah.” His breathing quickened. “I’ve never told anyone about this.”

“That’s okay.” Adam shifted on his towel so he was closer. “You sure you want to talk about it?” His voice lowered.

Paul laughed nervously. “You’re probably the only person I can talk to about this, so yes.” A fact that had only recently dawned on him. He expelled his breath in one long push of air, as if that would get rid of his nerves. “What I saw in there… Whoa.”

“You don’t need to tell me that part. I have a fair idea.” He lifted his eyebrows, grinning.

This time Paul laughed louder. “I’m sure you do.”

“Did you like what you saw?”

Oh fuck, did I.
“Yes.” It came out as a whisper.

“Can I ask you something? When you saw all those guys, watched what was happening…. Which role did you see yourself in? The one with the whip in your hand? Or the one taking it?”

“Taking it.” Paul gulped in air, conscious of his cock rising, desperate to touch it, to close his eyes and take his mind back to that club. To be thinking about someone’s hand landing on his arse, the bite of a paddle, the kiss of a whip or a flogger against his back,
all
of it, while he came.

“Did you ever go back to the club?”

“No.”

“Do you want to go back?” Adam demanded.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
… Paul’s heart was pounding so hard, he was surprised Adam couldn’t hear it.

He heard the hitch in Adam’s breathing, saw his nostrils flare again—and bit back a groan at the sight of Adam’s very obvious erection. But he couldn’t hold back the low moan that spilled from his lips when Adam took his own cock in hand and slowly pumped it.

“I can smell you,” Adam whispered, his fingers wrapped around that fat dick, stroking it, spreading pre-come over the head. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”

Paul let out a whimper and reached for his own cock, tugging it, too lost in his fantasies to think about his surroundings.

“Are you imagining yourself strapped to a cross while someone takes a whip to your back? Can you hear it cut through the air before it lands, stinging your flesh, leaving its mark?”

Oh God.
Faster now, hand sliding over pre-come slicked flesh.

“Are you stretched out over someone’s knees, your cock hard, rubbing against his thigh while he spanks you, his hand leaving your arse hot and red?” Adam’s voice was silk, his words a caress on Paul’s bare skin.

Fuck.
Balls high and tight, aching.

“Or are you bent over a bench, tied to it while someone fucks you, plows into you, reams your hole with his thick, hard dick?”

“Oh
, fuck.
” Paul was going to come. He gasped out a groan, his hand tightening around his shaft.

“Okay, I’ve had enough.” Shane’s voice cut through.

Adam reacted immediately, his hand shooting out to find Paul’s cock, feeling for his balls and giving them a good yank. Paul gave a yelp and Adam let out a low growl. “Onto your front, now.”

Paul rolled over and tried to lie still, his shaft aching with need, his balls tingling. Adam copied him, just as water splashed onto the stern when Shane hoisted himself aboard.

“Oh, that’s a great idea. Give me a sec and I’ll join you.”

Paul kept his head down as Shane padded past him to grab a towel, shaking drops of water over him. Keeping quiet was not an option, not with his friends. He lifted his chin to regard Shane. “Was the water nice?” he asked, amazed his words sounded normal.

“Fantastic.” Shane beamed. “You really can’t beat it.”

Beside him, Adam gave a smothered snort. Paul gave a dirty look in his direction before it occurred to him that it was a waste of a good scowl.

Eric heaved himself aboard the boat, looking relaxed, water beading on his chest. Jason, Mark, Taylor and David followed. It wasn’t long before every available inch of space was taken up with naked men, sunning themselves and drinking bottled water.

When Paul had regained his composure—and lost his erection—he sat up, drinking with the others. Adam joined them, looking totally relaxed, the swine.

“I’m sitting here surrounded by naked men, aren’t I?” Adam said with a smile. Laughter followed his words. “Damn. Of all the times to be blind.” More laughter.

Paul stared at him, a feeling of lightness flooding through him. It was the first time he’d heard Adam refer to himself as blind in a remark clearly designed to be humorous. He wanted say something,
anything
, to let Adam know the significance of his remark hadn’t gone unnoticed, but this wasn’t the time.

When we get home.

“Yeah, and there was I thinking only gay guys liked getting buck naked around each other,” David added with a chuckle. “These guys were into skinny dipping long before I came along.” He looked at his watch and sighed.

Taylor snuggled up to him. “You’re thinking about your book, aren’t you?”

David nodded. “I’ve only written a couple thousand words today. I’d be happier if it were four thousand.”

Eric waved his hand. “Hey, no problem. We can head back in.” He smirked. “Though you all might want to get dressed first.” He winked and everyone laughed.

Paul handed Adam his clothes. Adam pulled him closer to whisper above the chatter and the noise of the engine starting up.

“We’re not done yet. This ‘conversation’ will be continued when we get home.”

His words sent a shiver of anticipation that ran the length of Paul’s spine.

Adam pulled his shorts over his feet and squirmed into them. One glance at his bulging crotch was enough to make Paul’s shudders intensify.

“Hey, Adam, would you like to take us in?” Eric called out. “I’ll guide you to the jetty.”

The beam of delight on Adam’s face was a joy to behold. “I’d love to.” He patted Paul’s arm. “Later.” His whisper tickled Paul’s cheek.

As Adam tapped his way over to the helm, Paul’s gaze followed him, his heart hammering yet again.

All he could think about was what Adam might have in store for him.

Chapter Fifteen

Adam had been quiet for the ten minutes or so it had taken to drive back to the house.

Ten long, painful minutes. Paul was so hard, it hurt. He couldn’t give a thought to what he was going to prepare for dinner. All he could think about was getting off, and hoping Adam would play a part in it.

Adam chuckled as Paul pulled up in front of the house and switched off the engine. Paul turned to look at him. “You could have said something while I was driving, y’know.”