Chapter Thirteen
“Rebecca.”
Rebecca looked up to find Tiffany, her sister-in-law, standing there with a few salty crackers, cup of tea and a wet rag.
Rebecca took the rag, dabbed her cheeks and mouth first. Then she reached for the crackers, carefully taking only a few bites and nodded her thanks. The crackers filled her mouth, cleaned the vomit taste off her tongue.
Tiffany only shook her head. “He’s not an idiot. He’s going to figure it out.”
“Not yet. I can’t tell him yet.”
“You’ve got to. He’s going to notice any day now and he’s going to ask and you know the rules. If Mike asks, I’m not going to lie for you. The longer the wait, the more hurt he’s going to be.”
Rebecca nodded, thankful that so far she’d managed to keep it a secret from Mike that she was pregnant. It’d helped that she’d only lived with him for a month before her trailer in the backyard was ready to be moved into.
Tiffany visited her often and it hadn’t taken her long to puzzle it out between the vomiting, exhaustion, mood swings and, just everything, until point blank asking. Once her brother found out, hell was going to explode in little Apple Trail, Arkansas. Grant deserved to know first. “I’ll tell Grant today. He’s back now, so I’ll tell him today.”
Tiffany crossed her arms under her chest and just looked at her. “He’s been back for two weeks.”
Rebecca’s heart pinched, empty stomach knotted. “I know.” She knew. Two agonizing weeks where he’d given her nothing. She’d wanted to know if there was anything for them, but so far nothing. Just a stony face as he looked at her.
Glared at her, more like it. His glaring had not softened. Before she dumped a baby on his head and complicated matters, she had wanted to know if there were any feelings for her at all. If there was ever a crack in his gaze when she wasn’t looking to see if he still wanted her. That text he’d sent her had given her hope, then they’d been separated three months and obviously his feelings had changed. Two weeks and nothing but silence. She had to give up on holding out for more. In tight clothing her stomach was noticeable. It wasn’t going to be long before loose clothing wouldn’t hide it either. The end of her rope had arrived. “I promise I’ll tell Grant today. And then I’ll confess to Mike.”
“You swear it?”
Rebecca nodded. “I do I just…I was hoping there’d be something, you know? That he’d care about me and want what he had for that week. That it wasn’t over.”
Tiffany closed the lid on the toilet and sat down next to her. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. What did he say?”
“Nothing.”
“Tell me.”
“No, I mean, he said nothing. I just wanted to know how he felt before dumping this baby in his lap and he’s said
nothing
. I haven’t been able to get the courage up to tell him about the baby. I was hoping he’d change his mind first.”
Tiffany patted her lap and Rebecca laid her head on her knees. “What did you say to him?”
Rebecca rubbed at her sore belly. “When?”
“When you let him know how you felt and he didn’t say anything back?”
Rebecca started and sat up. “Oh. No. I didn’t say anything to him. I’ve just been waiting for a clue. A look, hell, I’ll take anything but he’s given me nothing.”
“Wait a minute.” Tiffany pushed her up to sitting. “You haven’t told him how you felt?”
Rebecca glanced away. “No. I didn’t want to push him.”
“Push him hell.” Tiffany’s brows were drawn in tight. “You want him, you’re going to have to go take him.”
“Is that what you did with Mike?”
She laughed. “No. That’s what he did to me. He didn’t let me refuse. So if your brother can do it, I know you can.”
Rebecca smiled. “Thanks, Tiffany.”
Tiffany nodded and stepped out of the bathroom.
“Tiffany?” She peeked her head back in and Rebecca smiled at her. “I’m glad he didn’t let you refuse.”
“Me, too.”
And it was time to do it. Rebecca had to. She straightened and fixed her hair best she could. Options for something to wear was a disaster. Anything remotely pretty was too snug on her stomach. All she had was a billowy sundress and a wrap she pulled around her shoulders to knock off the fall breeze.
Not knowing what to say, she turned in front of the mirror a little longer, double checking that the dress concealed the baby bump well enough. She was just going to have to get the courage to come out with it. Say what she wanted. What she felt.
She frowned, trying to remember when she’d done that before. Been totally honest.
With Grant. She’d done that with Grant. Any other time, she’d just gone with the flow of things for the most part. Shoulders back, well no more of that.
She headed to the manor and found Grant in the middle of the backyard with his brothers. They were all shirtless and working on the land. One hauled logs off they’d cut down with a chainsaw over the past few days. Another on a tractor dragged the brush and just junk. Another on a different tractor pushed giant piles up. Grant stood atop one of those piles, yellow diesel jug in his hand as he poured fuel down the center of the heap. She stood back, mesmerized as he worked. Couldn’t help but notice the pull of his shoulder muscles as he climbed down from the pile, tossed the jug aside, lit something on fire and threw the flame to the center.
Fire erupted. He turned away and the heat of the gushing flames coated her even from this distance. He lifted the yellow jug and looked up, his eyes landed on hers and air was sucked from her lunges as he stared for a long moment and then turned his gaze away.
She had never screwed up anything as bad as she had with Grant. He gestured toward one of his brothers, Trent she thought, but to be honest, each time she’d met his brothers, she’d hardly been able to pay them any attention because of Grant. His older brothers were triplets. Not identical, but favored enough to make it tough.
The two approached. Their sure steps mirrored the other, down to the swing of their arms, angle of their heads and even position of their shoulders. Grant may not be one of the triplets, but there was no doubting he wasn’t one of their brothers. They stopped in front of her and she glanced to Trent.
Grant eased back a step. “Whatever else you have to say about the property, just tell Trent about it.”
She shook her head. “I’m not here about the land.”
He just looked at her. “That’s all you’ve been here for since I got back.”
“I…” She frowned, knowing that was true. Another mistake. She should have been honest from the beginning instead of waiting. Her whole life she’d just sat around waiting. Until Grant. Until she wanted to live as she wanted. “Please. Just a minute. That’s all I need.”
He stood there, his arms tight over his chest as he looked down at her. “Get on with it.”
She glanced to his brother, standing there, again in the same position. “Alone?”
He only watched her and she nearly walked away, but she wouldn’t. She’d had enough regrets to last her a life time and she would not waste this chance. She tried channeling
Rebecca Gabel
who took what she wanted. A smile came to her. There was no more pretending and she put her fisted hands on her hips. “Listen here, Babycakes, we’re going to talk and unless you want your brother hearing about your sex life, then it needs to be alone.”
His brother stepped back, rubbing the back of his head. “I think…yeah, I’m just going to go.”
Grant stared at her, his lips parted. While she had the courage running through her, she pressed on. “I never should have left. I didn’t want to leave when I did. I regretted the drive back. I hated it when I got home. I came back as quick as I could for you, but you were gone.”
“Last I heard, you didn’t want more.”
She frowned. “Since when?”
He pulled out his phone and clicked buttons. He turned the screen toward her of their text message conversation. “Since you got home to the house you supposedly hate. You said ‘no’.”
She shook her head. “My no was true. You shouldn’t have had to beg for me and I didn’t want you coming for me because I was coming back to you.”
“You never thought of calling?” He rubbed over his head. “Sending another text to fucking clarify?”
She winced. “When I got here and you’d already left, I knew you’d be back.”
“And so I came back and still nothing, Rebecca. After three months apart, you pulled up on that four-wheeler, looked me right in the eye and talked about the land and the work you’d done!”
She lowered her gaze, trying not to cry, stupid hormones, but it was useless. She cried over everything. From movies to a box of empty cookies to a shirt she wanted to wear but was dirty. She looked up and tried blinking through the water to see.
“Oh, hell. Stop.” He touched her shoulders. Oh, finally he touched her. She cried more because he was touching her. His hands were strong, just as she remembered. “Rebecca, please.”
“I can’t—” she hiccuped “—help it.”
“I didn’t mean to yell. Stop please. I’m sorry.”
But she couldn’t so she talked through them. “Everything about my life just happened to me. But no more. I want you Grant, and so you’re just going to have to accept that and want me too.”
“I am?”
She nodded and swiped at the rivers running over her cheeks. “Yes. You are. I’m sorry I left. Sorry about the confusing text message I left. You’ve had time to get over that. I want what we had before.”
His hands slid up her neck and cupped her cheeks. He stepped in close and pressed a soft kiss over her mouth. “Honey, please stop crying. You’re killing me.”
She sniffed and had to use her wrap to rub across her nose. “I’m trying.”
He sighed. “I shouldn’t have ever let you leave. I didn’t want to, but hell, I thought I was crazy for wanting you to stay. That night, I knew I was crazy for letting you go. You are what I want. More than anything, I wish mom was alive because she would like you. I know she would.”
“Really?” Crap, more tears. They bundled up behind her eyes. The water heavy and achy and ready to run down her cheeks. And they did. Big fat ones she could feel dripping off her chin.
He leaned close, pressing kisses to her mouth and she opened for him. Tasted him. All the memories rushed back over and she threw her arms around him, never wanted to let him go.
Whistles and hoots yelled out and echoed. Rebecca started and looked around Grant to see his brothers clapping and giving thumbs up.
“
Way to go, Babycakes!
” one of them yelled and then whistled.
Grant closed his eyes. “Shit.”
He grabbed her hand, flipped his brothers the bird and tugged her in the back door of the manor that had been deemed structurally sound. He turned and pushed her against the inside wall and his mouth was back on hers.
The wrap fell from her fingers and she kissed him and kissed him, trying to make up for all the kisses she’d missed while they’d been apart. It’d never be enough. She could kiss him like this every day all day and she’d never get back what she’d lost, but she would damn well try as often as she could.
His hands slid down her thighs and he raised her dress. She pulled her hands away from him long enough for the dress to come off and that was it.
He grinned. “No bra. I like.”
She smiled. “Built in the dress.”
He cupped her breast and his thumbs stroked her nipples. Her knees bent from under her from the simple touch. She was so sensitive now. Over everything.
He stared toward her chest as he held her. “I thought I had everything about you committed to memory. I could close my eyes and know the weight of your breasts. How they filled my hand, but memory just didn’t do them justice.”
She tipped her head back and laughed. Lord but her boobs had doubled in size because of the baby. She wanted to tell him, but she wanted to be selfish for just a few more minutes. And then he put his mouth on her. Sucked on her. She squeezed her thighs together, desperate for some relief.
He grinned at her. “I see you’ve definitely missed me. I know I have you. I’ve never gone so long without sex in my life. Not since I started having it. I don’t plan to do that again.”
“I’m sure we can work something out.”
“I definitely think we can.” He dropped to his knee, his mouth back on her breasts, then between them.
He kissed down her stomach and stopped. His hands stopped moving. He stopped moving all together, but just stared at her protruding belly. “Rebecca.”
“Yes?”
He looked up and she nodded.
Tears came again, but she just kept nodding. “Yes. Yes, we’re pregnant. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, but I wanted to know how you felt about me first. It was all a mistake, but I’m going to spend forever making it up.”
He stroked his hand across her belly. “I wish you had called me when you found out.”
“I couldn’t tell you over the phone. Not this.” She cupped his face. “I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to miss your face when I told you. I’m sorry. It was selfish, but I just couldn’t tell you over the phone.”
He caressed her stomach. “I would have been there with you the whole way.”