Chapter Ten
Rebecca swiped her sweating palms down her hips. While it was hotter than hell outside, the heat and humidity wasn’t the main reason for her damp hands. She walked the freshly bulldozed ground, careful to step around the tracks left behind so as not to trip as she walked toward Grant.
He’d worked hard and nearly had this road cleared. Soon gravel would be brought and trucks could drive in and gates could be built. His drilling rig thing, whenever he got it, could easily get through.
That was all the easy part. The hard part, the reason for her sweating palms was because it was Sunday. It was time to go home and she never thought for a moment it would be
this
hard. As she drew closer, the large engine died and Grant opened the door. “Coming to ride with me?” He patted the side of the bulldozer. “It vibrates.”
If only. She did her best to offer a smile, but by the way her cheeks barely tugged, she hadn’t managed it well. She only shook her head.
He frowned and jumped down, coming toward her in quick strides. His large hands that had been so careful and gentle on her just that morning stroked up her arms. “What’s the matter?”
She looked up at him, still surprised at how hard it was to get the words out. “It’s Sunday afternoon.”
He frowned. “Don’t suppose you’re going to fuss at me for not going to church?”
A laugh cracked through her crumbling insides and she shook her head. “No. I have to go. If I wait longer, I’ll be driving a lot at night.”
“Oh.” His hands slid down from her arms and let her go.
She pushed on, though she didn’t know why because she was just repeating what he knew. “If I want to keep my job, I have to be back at work in the morning.”
“Right.” He turned away and she followed his gaze toward the bulldozer. “Thanks for all your help. I couldn’t have done this much, this fast, without you.”
She put her hands in her pocket to keep from touching him. What point was there in trying? He’d already said he might not be staying, that he didn’t know.
Didn’t know
wasn’t good enough. What if he left? What if they didn’t work out? Then what? She’d be stuck back in this God awful town with few options. Her life was in the Florida. The one she’d picked. “So, I guess I’m going to go if I want to get home at a decent hour.” More rambling, but it filled the air. “Long drive.”
“Right,” he said again. “You said you had to get back for that. If you come back, look me up.” And he walked off.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and turned, tears already filling in her eyes, and dripping on her cheeks as she ran across the fresh dirt, past the old house and straddled her bike. And that’s as far as she made it before pain shattered through her heart and chest and she bent over her handlebars. He hadn’t stopped her. Hadn’t asked if he could see her. Hadn’t asked for anything except to look him up if she returned. Didn’t ask her to come back. Or if he could come to her.
The loud rattling engine of the bulldozer cranked.
She looked back as she strapped on her helmet. Smoke puffed from the stack. The machine moved forward, pushing at dirt. From the distance, she could only see a figure in the seat. It shouldn’t hurt this much. Her heart shouldn’t feel as if he was standing on it. She knew what they were when they started. Knew what they were two minutes ago when she was having to end it. But....
She sighed.
But some part of her had wanted the fairy tale. Had wanted him to get on his knees and beg her to stay. Instead she got slapped with reality and the truth she already knew.
She shook her head. She could stay. And maybe almost get the fairy tale, but she couldn’t stay here. She’d gotten what she came for. To take what’d she’d missed out on. He'd given her no clues that he wanted her to stay. She’d gotten
look me up
.
It was time to go home to Florida feeling lighter and happy. She lifted the stand and drove away from Grant and Apple Trail feeling neither of the two.
Each mile made its mark on her back and shoulders. Weight hunched her over the handlebars. More than once she’d nearly turned around, but kept going.
She had to go back home. She was never supposed to go to Apple Trail with any plans to stay permanently. A single week shouldn’t change the course of her life. If they’d had more time. If he called and he was open to that…then maybe. Apple Trail had been shit to her, but if he was there and wanted her, then maybe she could do it.
But it was all for nothing, because he didn’t want her enough. Not enough to ask anything of her. Her brother and his wife, who had so far been nothing short of awesome when she’d seen the woman, was all she had in Apple Trail and that wasn’t enough.
Rebecca sighed over the handlebars as she pulled in the dark parking lot of her condominium. Images, the feel of his hands, the scent of his skin, his breath on her body from the night she saved him from his nightmare washed over her.
She parked the bike with a cry slipping up her throat and let herself in her apartment. It was dark and warm. The stifling, well behaved Rebecca slipped over her like a dress. A dress three sizes too small.
The idea of facing friends and co-workers tomorrow while going back to minding her manners choked her and she fell. The hardwood floors of her entryway bruised her knees, but she lay there still. A buzzing in her pocket got her sitting up enough that she pulled out her phone to a new text message.
I think I should have fought for you to stay. If I was supposed to have fought for you to say, just say it. I’ll come for you.
Tears flooded her eyes, pain squeezed in her chest as she sent Grant a message back.
No.
Chapter Twelve
Grant turned down the driveway of home and followed the long drive up. It had been three months since he’d left, but he was back. His brothers, each packed up and ready to give this a chance were behind him…so long as they found oil. At best, they could be here a few months while waiting on their workover rig to arrive. Or longer if he could stall to get them to see that being a family again was important. He wouldn’t be able to put it off long. Eventually the rig would arrive, the hole would be cleared and shot to see what was in there. Then Grant would know if he’d done it. If he pulled his family together and had all he wanted.
Most all of what he wanted, but he didn’t want to think about that. Or at least, he tried not to think about it. He’d sent one drunken text message her way, asking if begging was what he should have done. She had left and he’d walked away, let her leave, let her believe that he was okay with it. He’d wanted her back. Her cold,
No.
, had blazed across his mind.
Damn store in town had only carried Jack and margarita mix and the cheapest light beer available.
Light. Beer.
He’d started mixing jack and margarita mix sometime around dusk and stopped…well, he wasn’t sure exactly. There was drinking and then there was waking the next morning sticky as fuck with green smeared across his shirt and empty bottles next to him.
His oldest brother behind him blew his horn and Grant realized he’d completely let off the gas and was idling down the drive at a crawl. He tossed his middle finger out the lowered window and sped up his pace.
They’d looked like a parade coming through town with trailers and bikes and as much as Grant could talk them into hauling here. It was four rumbling, scratched, dented trucks loaded to the max rolling down Main Street.
Grant had seen a few people he’d known and waved, just happy to be home.
Home. Yes, he was home. Eventually he’d think of this place without automatically thinking of Rebecca too. He braced himself for the final turn of the drive before passing through the old iron gates, where the woods would break away to rough ground from the logging and towering Oaks lining the drive to greet him on the way home. Lots of work was ahead of him, and he couldn’t wait for it.
Because it would be work with his brothers, a chance to show them they could do this, let them put their mark on the place, to want it more.
The trees parted and Grant rubbed his eyes, surprised. Behind the long line of Oak trees was fairly neat ground that looked to only need grass seeds and smoothing. Gone were stumps and rutted up tracks from the loggers. The sticks and brush had been cleaned out leaving smooth dirt for acres with only a few tire marks, perhaps from a tractor, marred the surface. As he drew near, the white of the home began peeking through the trees and his breath was lost.
All the vines strangling the old house were gone. The home, still in need of repair, was brighter and cleaner without the clutter. The brush which had been clinging along the old building was missing. He stopped his truck and stepped out as his brothers did.
“This looks nothing like the pictures you showed us, Grant.” Trent, his oldest brother walked toward him, looking around.
Grant followed his gaze over different places. “This wasn’t how it looked when I left.”
The whine of an engine rumbled in the distance and Grant walked around the side of the house. The back was the same from what he remembered. Trees that needed taken down, ground that needed cleaning.
That wasn’t what held his attention, because driving along the road he’d made to reach the wells was a four wheeler. He squinted. With six women on it. Four down the seat, one on each back fender. The one he cared about he saw first. She drove. Her long black hair he often dreamed of swaying over his chest was knotted on the top of her head.
His other brothers, Lane and Jacob, joined him. Trent put his arm around Grant’s shoulders. “Like what I see so far.”
Grant studied each woman as they drew near, certain he’d seen them around town, but not really knowing who they were.
Rebecca drove the four wheeler to just in front of him and stopped it, turning the machine off. She didn’t get off. None of the women did. He passed a look over each of them, but he only knew them in passing. A couple blondes, a red head and a brunette. They only stared at him, at his brothers, then at Rebecca.
But Rebecca, god, she was so much more than he remembered.
Brighter eyes, shinier hair, smoother, glowing skin. Lips fuller than his dreams recalled pressing on him. Her breasts, Lord have mercy, he recalled a generous handful, but they were cupped in a bra and a tight V-neck shirt, forcing them up and on display and so unlike the natural, beautiful sway in her swimsuit top… or when she wore nothing at all.
He swallowed. “You’re here.”
She licked her lips. “I’m here.”
“I thought you left.”
“I came back.”
“Why?”
“I needed to.”
His head spun around with all these buzzing non-answers, left him dizzy and confused. Mostly, confused. “Why.”
She glanced at his brothers, then settled her gaze back on him. “This is my home.”
His ass in a cold day in hell
. It hadn’t been her home months ago. “What about your other home?”
“I’m claiming temporary insanity and the lack of the right kind of friends.” The blonde behind her patted her back and nothing but pride flashed on all of the women’s faces. He wasn’t sure if he was facing a firing range of women ready to protect or ready to pet him as well.
He really didn’t know what all was going on or what to expect. “So you’re back for good?”
She nodded. “Someone asked me to do a job for them. I gave my word I’d help.”
He glanced at his cleaner land. “I guess this is all your work.”
“I had a lot of help.”
That he doubted. Rebecca could do whatever she wanted. Hell, he would wager what she half-assed, was better than what most put their heart in.
He was punched in the back, the blow knocked through to his breath and shattered his spine he didn’t realize was so stiff.
Trent put his arm around his shoulder. “You going to introduce or us or keep us in suspense and awkwardness?”
That was Trent, never one to beat around the bush. He sighed, forced now to share Rebecca. “Rebecca Gabel and…I’m sorry, ladies. I know faces, but not names.”
A series of names came out. Stephanie, Tiffany, Lette, Shellie, hell he couldn’t keep up because Rebecca’s blue eyes, and a sea of endless thoughts were back on him. Was it regret on her face or more?
And more importantly, could he, or did he want to, forgive her. He took all of two-point-five seconds to think that through. Fuck yeah, he could damn well forgive her. He was on the edge of everything he wanted, he just needed to know if that’s what she wanted.
Trent punched him in the arm this time and cleared his throat. “And since Grant’s going to stand here like an ass, I’m Trent.” He pointed over his shoulders. “That’s Lane and Jacob. We’re his older brothers.”
Polite words were passed but Grant gave up trying to puzzle them out. It was more buzzing and humming. Until Rebecca cleared her throat. That one little sound sliced through his fogged over mind, clarity sprang through his brain and he focused on her face, her eyes, lips, nose, the shape of her cheeks, all of it so not to miss a moment of what she was about to say. Not to miss a moment of her voice.
He should have ignored her damn return message. Maybe he was supposed to play that woman’s game of
yes-means-no-and-no-means-yes and I’ll never just say exactly what I want because I’m a woman and this is the way I function. And because you’re a man, you’re always going to be wrong and in the dark, but that’s okay, because somehow, some-fucking-how, it’ll all works out and eventually the code words would be cracked and he could make some sense between what she wanted and said.
Probably, at least. God, he hoped.
Her lips parted. “Grant, I know you just got here, but—”
“Yes,” he said. She blinked. Silence dropped over them all. But he said it again, “Yes.”
He didn’t know what she wanted or why, but yes he had a moment or yes to whatever she wanted. Then she looked at his brothers.
“I guess this is for all of you, but it won’t take me long.” She pulled in a long breath. “As you can see, I’ve cleaned and smoothed the front where we logged. It’s waiting on grass seeds, but I didn’t know what kind you wanted, so I left it open. We have a tiller nearby and handy if we need to hit the ground before planting. At my place, I have all the inspection notes on the house, I’ll get those to you, put you in contact with the contractor and y’all can go from there on the restoration. I wasn’t sure what you wanted, so there wasn’t much there I could do. Parker is finishing up the last gate today…that’s what we were doing here now.”
The more she talked about his land, his
land
, the harder his teeth clenched. His fucking land. Her lips moved nonstop, going on and on about the posted signs, the deer stands, the gates, the cameras like he gave a flying fuck of any of that.
She'd walked out of his life, he’d let her go and she was giving him an update on his land.
“Rebecca.”
She stopped midsentence and just stared at him. Everyone just stared at him. He looked across the sea of faces and his irritation exploded. He couldn’t take more. He cleared his throat and turned away. “Nice work.”
He looked back just in time to see her tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Um. Thanks. I have some invoices for you to take care of. Unless you want me to handle that. I can, it’s no big deal, just let me know what method you’d like to take care of those and I’ll get it done.”
“After I get unpacked.” It was all he knew to say to end this long line of work chat and hopefully get her away before he jerked her to him. Work stuff. She’d left him and she was back and peppering him with work things.
The steel lining that had been wrapping around his chest rose back up after the shock of seeing her had broken down the walls.
She
had been the one to leave. And she was back, knowing he was coming, had time to prepare something along the lines of “I shouldn’t have left.” Instead she nailed him with work talk.
A little hope bloomed. Maybe she was just waiting for the chance. Maybe she wanted privacy. He glanced back. “Anything else?”
She stared at him, but only shook her head.
The small bubble burst, the bright spot of hope in his chest fizzled to darkness. “We have a lot to unpack.”
“Oh!” He met her quick inhale, again feeling like he was standing on a cliff. “There are some mobile homes in town you can rent until renovations are finished. I didn’t know if you had campers or whatever, but this might be easier. I talked to the owner and she said she’d be willing to take y’all on as monthly rather than yearly leases.”
He only nodded and turned away. He was right from the moment he meet Rebecca. This relationship crap was a hell of a lot harder than getting his brothers here. He never expected to hurt this much over a woman either. No wonder he’d never held onto a woman long before. But now that he’d had the good times, the lazy afternoons and long nights of talking, he wasn’t sure he could go back to random faces and quick moments at night.